Jack

by A M Snead

  “We’re going to be late,” David said. “Bible study started like five minutes ago.”

  “It’s too hot to go to group.” Gideon grinned, a sheen of sweat glistened his face. “I don’t think God will care if we skip it just once and go swimming instead.”

  Pale moonlight illuminated the deck and the surface of the lake. Gideon was right—it was really hot. He knew David didn’t look forward to an hour of being cooped up in the main hall. Even so, the kid didn’t think it was right to just cut. “Come on, Gideon. Let’s just go to group, then we can go swimming after.”

  “You go.” Gideon peeled off his shirt. “I’m sweating like a pig. I need to cool off.” He threw his shirt at David, smacking him in the chest, then laughed.

  David rolled his eyes and tossed the shirt aside. “You’re gonna get in trouble.”

  “What’ll they do?” Gideon laughed. “Sit me in a corner and make me pray? Ooh, I’m affrighted.”

  “Don’t be disrespectful,” David spoke low, more soberly. Gideon had never taken his Christianity as seriously as David—

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  “Gideon?”

  Jack’s sudden presence in his office startled Gideon out of the memory and he set aside the framed photo he had been staring at for the last twenty minutes. He cleared his throat and smiled at the young man, motioning him to enter. A light flush remained in Jack’s cheeks, and a lingering haze to his eyes. He could guess what had taken place in the locker room, Gideon expected as much; you couldn’t halt two young men in the height of passion and then expect them to just “turn off” and continue to function with a clear mind.

  The boys were professionals and performed as expected on camera—so whatever they did afterward to deal with any lingering effects was entirely their business. Gideon wasn’t so naïve as to think he could pair these boys in sexual scenes and they not take some of that back into their personal lives. And truthfully? Gideon was glad their personal relationships—even as friends—remained intimate and even sexual at times. It created closer bonds and added authenticity to the scenes they shot together. Very rarely did the boys truly have to “act.”

  “Sit.” Gideon indicated the chair before his desk and Jack took a seat. “I just wanted to put this out to you, though please feel free to decline.” Jack looked at him and nodded. Gideon leaned forward on his desk. “If you are up for it…” He chuckled. “No pun intended. But anyway, I was considering shooting the Friends promo scene later this afternoon. I would prefer to film your scene with Garrett on its own day, without anything else scheduled.”

  Jack’s lips tightened a fraction and he nodded again, eyes becoming evasive. “Okay,” he said quietly. “Whatever you want.”

  Gideon gazed at him. “You are still willing to do the full scene with Garrett, aren’t you?” he asked. “Because I don’t want to run the promo and then have you back out and not have a video to offer. So, tell me now if you’re having second thoughts.” When Jack appeared to hesitate, Gideon said gently, “I will never try to force you, or any of the boys, to do a scene you aren’t comfortable with. You can be honest with me, Jack. Do you still want to star in this scene with Garrett?”

  There was the possibility Jack would change his mind. He clearly still felt something for Garrett but was struggling to deny it. His fear of his feelings could cause him to back out. Jack had to know that the truth of his emotions would reveal itself once he and Garrett became intimate again when it showed through with a mere kiss.

  Gideon glanced at the photo of David. Let’s hope he doesn’t prove to be as strong-willed as you, Davie. Underneath it all, you clearly didn’t need me. But Jack needs Garrett…whether he admits it or not.

  ♥

  Do you still “want” to star in this scene with Garrett?

  Want. That is the determining word, isn’t it, Jack-o? Or was it? Perhaps “still” was the word to consider—implying he had wanted to do it in the first place. Had he? Did he? Gideon was giving him an out. He could walk away now.

  Jack’s body still sizzled from his scene with Lucas, and all that happened afterward. He knew that whatever happened between him and Garrett in their own scene…would be considerably more intense. And the thought of it caused a pulse in his nether regions. He still desired Garrett sexually, that much he couldn’t deny. And if he didn’t deal with it in a “controlled” environment…he put himself at risk of getting caught in the same trap all over again.

  “Yes,” Jack said, startled at the evenness of his voice. He sure as hell didn’t feel calm, cool, and collected inside. “I still want to do the scene.”

  “Great.” Gideon seemed genuinely pleased. He had appeared a bit worried that Jack might decide against it. “And about shooting the promo scene with Derek and Zachary later this afternoon? If you don’t feel up to it, we can go ahead and schedule it for tomorrow.”

  “No,” Jack said. “Today is fine. I’ll be ready.”

  “Wonderful.” Gideon stood up and walked around the desk. “I’ll talk to Rich then let you know what time we’ll be filming.”

  “Okay.” Jack left his chair and Gideon walked him to the door.

  “I told Derek and Zach that we might be doing the scene today,” he said. “So, go ahead and let them know it’s a sure thing and to be ready.”

  Jack nodded. “All right.”

  “Hey.” Gideon touched his shoulder when Jack started to leave. “You did great today. I’m sure a lot of people out there don’t think of those in this business as possessing true talent, but they would be wrong. Sex is an art. And as with all types of art, there are the artists with natural talent. You, Jack, are a natural. You put yourself into the scene and let it envelop you. And being able to do that, it allows the viewers to feel your passion on a deeper level.” He smiled. “Not everyone who watches porn are sex addicts or perverts, as many tend to believe. Some use it to enhance their love life with their partner, and some people just want to feel that intimate connection with other human beings. Even for the viewers, it isn’t all about lust. The human psyche is a complex thing. As I explained to Lucas at dinner last night, everyone has the right to be judged on their own individual merits.” He squeezed Jack’s shoulder and smiled again. “And that includes our viewers.”

  Jack liked how Gideon’s mind worked. The world would surely be a better place if more people shared the same thought process. As if on cue, his cell buzzed in his pocket. He dug it out, already feeling the anxiety of who was calling. His dad’s name hovered on the display screen. Usually it was his mom who called—when they bothered to acknowledge his existence. The phone buzzed again.

  “You going to answer that?” Gideon murmured.

  Good question. He contemplated the ignore option as the phone continued to vibrate.

  Gideon lowered his hand. “Your parents?” he asked quietly.

  Jack nodded, then finally took the call. “Hello?”

  Silence met him briefly, then——“Jack?” His dad’s stiff tone was a punch in the gut. As if it took effort for the man to speak to his own son.

  “Yeah.” Jack moved out into the hall and glanced at Gideon.

  “I’ll let you know what time we’re going to start shooting,” Gideon spoke low, quick, so as not to interrupt his call. Jack nodded, and Gideon withdrew into his office, closing the door.

  “Who was that?” his dad asked, his voice tight. “Are you with a…” He faltered then finished weakly, “…someone?”

  Irritation simmered Jack’s blood. His parents viewed homosexuality like a disease. In their minds, it was an unnatural “lifestyle” that could only breed perversion. And the concept that gay people could have committed, loving relationships was simply beyond their comprehension. What would his dad think if Jack told him that in spending just a few days at Gideon’s home, the porn boss had been more of a father to him than his own “religious” father had been during Jack’s entire life?

  Oh, Jack, Jill giggled in his head. The expression on his face
would be priceless.

  His dad’s expression might be “priceless,” but should Jack say it to his face…he would surely “pay” for such a comment. Jack had never told Jill about him and their dad’s occasional “talks” since Jack came out of the closet. Jack had done a good job concealing the bruises on his body, and at times the agony of movement. His dad hadn’t ever gone “all out” on him, but he hadn’t been shy about displaying his disappointment and anger in his son. Perhaps hoping that a few mild beatings now and then would discourage Jack from pursuing his abominable lifestyle. In reality, it had caused Jack to embrace it more fiercely and with greater determination. Though he had a healthy fear of his father, the man’s actions and attitudes pissed him off more than frightened him. Maybe it would have been different if his dad had beaten him without restraint, perhaps that would have broken his will and caused him to submit to the man’s wishes.

  “That was my boss,” Jack muttered.

  “Why didn’t you answer your mother’s text last night?” he asked, changing the subject.

  Jack sighed. “I was having dinner. And Gideon—”

  “Gideon?” his dad interjected.

  “My boss,” Jack explained, a bit impatiently. “He—”

  “You were having dinner with your boss?” Suspicion and accusation dripped from the man’s words.

  Releasing a slow, heavy breath, Jack shook his head. “It wasn’t like that,” he said quietly. “And even if it was, that’s my business.”

  “Don’t take an attitude with me, Jack,” his dad warned. “I’m still your father. The commandments of the bible don’t cease to apply simply because you’re an adult now. Maybe you should think about that. Honor thy father and thy mother. Among other things.”

  Other things. Jack knew what he meant. Even which scripture he was referring to. Man shall not lay with man as with a woman. If the scripture was so damn “cut and dried,” then why didn’t it add that women shall not lay with women as with a man? Jack was well familiar with that passage, as it had been shoved down his throat from the moment his parents had learned he was gay. He was also familiar with the scriptures immediately following, and they made a point of including women. So why not that one…if it really meant what everyone seemed convinced that it meant?

  It was on the tip of his tongue to remind his dad that the bible also commanded fathers not to provoke their children to wrath—and to nurture them and raise them in the love of God—but he bit back the words. What was the point? Like so many others, his dad couldn’t see his own shortcomings or “sins.” But he sure as hell had crystal clarity when it came to Jack’s indiscretions.

  “What do you want, Dad?” Jack asked, feeling weary.

  “Your mother wants to celebrate Jill’s birthday.”

  Jill’s birthday. No mention that it was Jack’s birthday as well. “So?” Jack said. “Why are you calling me about it?”

  “She feels like Jill would want you there,” his dad told him. The brittleness of his tone informed Jack that he didn’t care for Jack’s continuing attitude.

  “Jill,” Jack murmured. “But not her. Or you. Right?”

  A hard rush of breath surged through the phone. “We’re not going to pretend to approve of your lifestyle choice, Jack. If you don’t feel welcome, then that is your own fault. Have you considered that the reason you don’t feel welcome is a product of your own conscience? You know you’re living in sin, and it’s convicting your soul—”

  Jack snapped the phone closed. “Then I guess I’ll just go to hell, Dad,” he whispered bitterly. “Fuck you. How’s that for respect, you hypocritical mother—” His jaw clamped and he swallowed the rest, eyes burning. Hurt and anger surged in his heart, and he suddenly wished that his full scene with Zach and Derek was ready to be shot right now.

  Nothing like a good thorough fucking to deal with stress.

  ♥

  Lucas found Bailey stretched out on Lucas’ bed just staring at the ceiling, lost in thought. His eyes shifted when the door closed and locked—and Lucas pounced on him, tugging and pulling at his clothes, his mouth all over the man’s throat.

  “I have something special for you,” Lucas panted, so fucking hard he was about to burst in his pants. He straddled Bailey and whipped off his own shirt then began shoving Bailey’s t-shirt up his body; kissing, licking, sucking his stomach and chest.

  “I take it the promo went well?” Bailey murmured, a small laugh escaping.

  “Indeed,” Lucas growled and bit a nipple, causing Bailey to gasp. “Get naked. We need to fuck—now.”

  Bailey smiled and peeled off his shirt, but even as his eyes heated with desire and his hands rubbed up Lucas’ torso—there was an undeniable “lack” of the usual enthusiasm that was always present at moments like this.

  Dropping forward, Lucas planted his hands on either side of Bailey’s head and hovered over the top of him, staring down into his eyes. Lucas’ body screamed for him to just fuck the guy and ask questions later, but this wasn’t like Bailey at all. “What’s wrong?” When Bailey averted his eyes, real concern gripped Lucas, overriding his sexual needs. He straightened and sat on Bailey’s hips. “What’s going on? What is it?”

  “Nothing,” Bailey murmured then met his stare and smiled. “I thought we were going to fuck.”

  “We are,” Lucas assured. “But first tell me what’s wrong.” He frowned uncertainly. “It doesn’t have to do with Jack, does it? Because we don’t mess around off camera.” He smiled and shrugged. “I mean, I had to finish sucking him off after the promo scene, but that was just me being courteous and nice.” He rubbed his hands over Bailey’s chest and leaned down, kissing his mouth. “But I saved the best stuff for you.”

  Bailey laughed softly. “It isn’t about Jack. And of course, you had to finish him off, that’s just standard porn policy.”

  “Exactly,” Lucas chuckled quietly and lay down against him, supporting himself on his elbows. “So, what’s bugging you? And don’t tell me nothing. Any other day, if I came in here all hot and heavy, you would’ve been all over me like white on rice in a snowstorm.”

  “That’s so cliché.”

  “But true.” Lucas smirked. He stroked his fingertips through Bailey’s hair and kissed his lips. “Come on, babe,” he murmured. “What’s really wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong,” Bailey insisted, unconvincingly. “It’s just…you know how thoughts can evolve? You start thinking about one thing, then it manifests into something else and so on until you’re totally off the original topic?”

  Lucas frowned. “Uh-huh…”

  “I was just thinking about that time you let me tie you up and…” He smiled at Lucas.

  “I remember,” Lucas chuckled, his cock jumping. “That was fun.”

  Clearing his throat, Bailey nodded. “It was.” He chewed his lower lip. “I just started thinking…wondering…if any of the guys here are into BDSM.” He held Lucas’ eyes. “Do you know of any who might be?”

  Lucas raised an eyebrow. “Why? You looking to enhance our kinkiness?”

  “No,” Bailey laughed short. “I was just curious. I mean, Gideon doesn’t incorporate it into the scenes, but surely some of these guys have to be into it, at least a little. Wouldn’t you think?”

  The guy was going for casual inquiry but failing. He was asking for a reason. “Bailey,” Lucas said quietly, seriously. “Why are you really asking about this? What’s going on?”

  Bailey started to shake his head, then sighed. “Okay. Look.” He hesitated then continued. “The other day, we brought in a young man who had been experimenting in BDSM with his girlfriend. They didn’t know what they were doing, and it went bad. I don’t know a lot about it, but I just thought…” He shrugged. “I thought if any of the guys here knew about it, I could maybe take some useful information back to the guy and his girlfriend.”

  Something in Bailey’s eyes and his tone told Lucas that he still wasn’t telling him the truth. Why would he be so both
ered about a random couple he didn’t even know?

  “I haven’t heard anyone mention it,” Lucas murmured. “But you can ask around.”

  Bailey nodded, eyes distant for a moment. “Yeah,” he whispered, then blinked, focused, and looked at Lucas, lips quirking. “You said you had something special for me?”

  48 The Promo (pt 4)—“Friends”

  “The full-length Friends shoot will consist of two sets.”

  Jack stood with Derek and Zachary in the rec room while Gideon explained the setup.

  “We will start with a friendly game of three-way pool where the two losers have to service the winner.” He smiled at Derek and Jack. “Sorry to say, this is a fixed game and Zachary will be the winner.”

  Derek shrugged and grinned and leaned against the edge of the pool table. “Oh, I don’t know. It kind of sounds like a win-win-win situation to me.” He winked at both Jack and Zachary.

  “I have to agree.” Jack nodded and surveyed Zachary’s body, then laughed lightly.

  “Well, it’s good to know you won’t be sore losers,” Gideon chuckled.

  Derek cleared his throat and rubbed his hand over his mouth, his grin widening. “I’m thinking Zachary is going to be a sore winner.”

  “Oh yeah.” Zach smirked. “Bring it, baby.”

  “No worries.” Derek flicked his eyebrows. “I’ll bring it good and hard. And Jack, too.” He looked at Jack and nodded. “Right, Jack?”

  “I will surely do my best,” Jack promised, and the others laughed.

  “We all have faith in you, Jack.” Gideon smiled.

  A muffled “confirmation” from Pratt pulled Jack’s focus briefly to the cameraman. An anticipatory smile quirked Pratt’s lips. Jack didn’t want to consider that the man likely had his own copies of these videos and probably jerked off while watching Jack on screen. The last thing Jack needed was to become self-conscious in front of the camera.