by A M Snead
Garrett walked out. But he would be back. And they would do the promo shot. And then…
A tear rolled down Jack’s cheek and he slapped it away like a traitor. But its rebel brothers weren’t far behind.
Listen to your heart. How could he…when it was his heart that was leading the rebellion?
51 The Promo (pt 5)—“Silent Confession”
“I’m telling you, you’re wasting your time on the guy.”
Jack didn’t know how long he’d been standing there, just staring at the bed, images of past encounters with Garrett exploding through his head as he battled the onslaught of unwelcome emotion. Pratt’s sudden entrance into the studio startled Jack and he wiped at his face hurriedly, appalled that he let anyone—especially Pratt—see him like this.
“I’m fine,” Jack whispered tightly. He didn’t look at the cameraman and didn’t feel particularly comfortable being alone with Pratt.
“No, Jack,” Pratt murmured. “You’re not. He’s gotten under your skin and now you can’t get him out. And these other…boys…” Pratt came closer. “They can’t help you. It takes a man to handle something like this.”
What the fuck was he talking about? Jack glanced at him, brow pinching hard. “What?”
“I’m your friend, Jack, whether you think so or not.” He smiled, and his gaze did its usual sweep of his body. “And friends help friends. If you’d just let me in…open up to me…I promise you, I would help you forget about Garrett.”
Let him in? Open up? Jack was pretty sure he knew what he meant. “I can deal with it myself,” Jack said quietly.
Pratt nodded. “We’ll see…after this scene.”
“See what?” Jack frowned.
“If you can deal.” Pratt winked. “I’ll be standing by if you change your mind and decide you want my help after all.”
Jack stared at him, a bit incredulously; was the guy serious?
The question went unanswered as Gideon showed up with Rich and the rest of the crew. Garrett wasn’t far behind.
Jack tried to put on his game face, conceal his anxieties, but Gideon wasn’t so easily fooled. He touched Jack’s shoulder and looked at him with a measure of concern. “You doing all right?”
“Yeah,” Jack lied.
“Ready to do this?”
Nodding, Jack cleared his throat. “Mm-hm.”
Gideon squeezed his shoulder. “You’ll do great. As in the other promo scenes, just let yourself go. Forget about everything else and embrace the role of Garrett’s lover. His true love.”
As hard as Gideon’s words hit Jack, the man may as well have slugged him in the gut. He tried desperately to breathe normally as the air ripped from his lungs. “I’ll…do my best.”
Gideon rubbed the back of Jack’s head. “So far…” He smiled. “Your best has proven to be phenomenal.” He gazed at Jack as the younger man’s eyes drifted to Garrett who stood near the bed talking to Rich. “You can do this, Jack,” Gideon said softly with heavy undertones. “And you’re going to be fine.”
The knot was reforming in his throat. Gideon’s confidence far exceeded Jack’s own.
Garrett swapped his t-shirt for a black button shirt, fully open, and Jack changed into a white shirt with a few of the buttons still fastened. They were shooting a center piece of the full video and therefore there were no preliminaries. The candles on the nightstands were lit, the lights dimmed a fraction more, and a soft romantic song began to filter out into the room, wrapping around Jack and Garrett as they took their places at the foot of the bed.
The mood setting aided in blocking out all else, but this was one time when Jack wished he could remain aware of it all, remember they were just playing roles and shooting a porn promo. Yet it proved difficult as the lyrics of the song enveloped him and immersed him in his role. He recognized the song as Bryan Adams’ Please Forgive Me. Had Gideon chosen it himself? Did he really think this was going to fix anything? Garrett had made it painfully clear how he felt; apart from the “job”—he didn’t want to know Jack.
“Lots of love and passion,” Rich told them. “You’re two lovers who have just reunited after a long separation. Show us desire, romance, intensity.” He nodded and smiled. “Action.”
Action. Jack stared at Garrett’s bare chest, his eyes traveling along the design of the tattoo that stretched across his upper pec muscles. The recollection of the first time his lips touched that tattoo caused a shiver to race through him.
Embrace the role.
Listen to your heart.
Jack swallowed hard and raised his hands, letting his fingertips touch Garrett’s warm skin. He thought he felt the man’s chest swell beneath a quickened breath, but he couldn’t be sure. Just let go. You don’t have to hold back. Play your part. A sudden sense of “freedom” engulfed him as all the chains he hadn’t even really been aware of—dropped away. Right here, right now…he didn’t have to pretend he didn’t want Garrett. Or pretend that he didn’t have feelings…
Pretend. The thought jolted him. He hadn’t been pretending…had he? The burning in his fingertips insisted otherwise and his palms flattened against Garrett’s chest. There was no mistaking the breath pushing through the guy’s nostrils this time. Garrett’s hands went to Jack’s waist and pulled him closer. Avoiding direct eye contact, Jack tried to imagine this was Lucas, or Derek—anyone but Garrett. But he was fully aware of who was standing before him, growing aroused and inspiring Jack’s own erection.
Just let go, little brother. Don’t fight it…listen to your heart.
Jack trembled and touched his lips to Garrett’s skin, hesitated…then let go. He gave his hands free rein to move where they wished. His mouth covered a stiff nipple and he sucked gently, then hungrily. Strong fingers dug into his ass through his pants, squeezing, pulling him hard against Garrett, and then the man’s mouth was on his neck, teeth grabbing, lips tugging. Jack shuddered and slipped his hands inside Garrett’s shirt and around to rub up his muscular back. Everything came back in a rush; the hunger for each other, the passion and need and want, the feel of their naked skin so hot and slick with sweat as they took what they wanted without reservation.
Garrett’s shirt dropped to the floor in a hurry and the man’s fingers shook as he tugged loose Jack’s shirt buttons then stripped the garment away. Jack was suddenly crushed in Garrett’s arms, their mouths locked, tongues intertwined. The softness of the bed connected with Jack’s body a moment later and the weight of Garrett on top of him pressed him deeper into the thick, warm blankets.
Before Jack could get his bearings, Garrett was working down his torso, using his hands and mouth to their fullest extent. “Fuck…” Jack whimpered, back arching as the man shoved his hands under him and rubbed down from shoulder blades to ass. His hips lifted when Garrett grabbed his crotch firmly with his teeth, his hands continuing to caress up and down Jack’s tense body.
A deep groan rolled up Garrett’s throat and he licked across the surface of Jack’s navel then teased the shallow depression with the tip of his tongue. Jack’s stomach quivered, a soft grunt erupting from him.
Garrett regained a fraction of control and crawled back over the top of Jack, this time seizing his stare. He slid his fingers through Jack’s hair and gazed at him as if they were the only two men on earth. For the briefest moment, Jack almost believed what he saw in those transfixing depths—then remembered what a skilled actor Garrett was. Even so, Jack was quickly immersed once more in the illusion as Garrett kissed him—not with the urgency of before, but softer, deeper, passionate. The man shifted his hips, pushing between Jack’s thighs, his arousal as hard as a rock and grinding Jack’s own stiff cock.
His heart began to thump with added force against his ribs. He realized he was clinging to Garrett, arms encasing the man, fingers gripping his back, holding on in desperation. Tears burned beneath his closed eyelids as Garrett drank him in with the kiss. When Garrett drew back, his warm brow touched Jack’s forehead, unsteady breath puffi
ng Jack’s lips. Jack was afraid to open his eyes, afraid of seeing things in Garrett’s gaze that weren’t really true. Things that shouldn’t matter if they were true…but did.
Garrett kissed him again and Jack still didn’t open his eyes until the guy was venturing back down his body. His pants opened and unzipped, slowly, sensually. Garrett caressed his palms over Jack’s hard bulge, working him tenderly. Jack moaned and shifted, gripping fistfuls of the blankets. The front of his pants and briefs were pulled down a little and then wet tongue teased the base of his cock.
“Uuh!” Jack flinched, and his hands went to Garrett’s head, holding on tensely. “Yes…”
Short nails lightly scratched his skin as Garrett hooked his fingers on Jack’s pants and dragged them down his legs, freeing Jack’s rigid member. Oh God…Jack’s senses went erratic as Garrett began to slowly stroke him with his fist. The feel of Garrett’s intimate touch burst through Jack, rattling the walls he’d struggled to construct around his heart. The tears burned hotter, thicker, and were forced out when he squeezed his eyes shut and cried out loud as Garrett’s wet, soft mouth engulfed him.
“God!” He gripped Garrett’s head, back arching fiercely, hips pushing upward. “Fuck! Yes…oh my God…”
Garrett took him deep, squeezing, stroking firmly without rushing, but rather sucking him sensually—as if keeping in time with the tender beat of the love song, and the words…
Please forgive me…I can’t stop loving you…
He didn’t feel Garrett shift, but the man was suddenly covering his body again, his mouth on Jack’s, the passion of their last night together flowing through that kiss. No—don’t kiss me like that! Don’t make me feel it all over again!
Garrett trembled and broke the kiss, breath shaky, a gloss to his eyes as he slid down off the bed and removed Jack’s pants. Jack leaned forward and crawled to the end of the bed and began unfastening Garrett’s own pants as the man stood on the floor, staring down at him. He rubbed down Jack’s back and over his bare ass, gripping, massaging, groans escaping him.
The world felt unhinged around Jack as he worked loose Garrett’s cock, stroked it in his hand then slowly licked up and down the hard shaft.
“Mm!” Garrett groaned and leaned over Jack, kissing the gentle depression of his lower back. The man caressed all over Jack’s hips, ass, thighs, up his ribs and down again…everything in his touch insisting how much he wanted Jack, craved him.
Jack wouldn’t let reality back in, not yet. He covered Garrett’s cock head with his lips then slowly drew the man’s cock deeper and deeper into his mouth.
“Fuck!” Garrett gasped and pressed his lips hard against Jack’s hot skin, then straightened and raked his fingers through Jack’s hair, gripping his head tensely. His hips rocked, sliding his member gently back and forth in Jack’s mouth, nudging his throat. “Oh fuck…yes…uuuhhh…” Garrett dropped his head back and swallowed thickly, a sensual wave rolling up and down his body as he slowly fucked Jack’s mouth. “Oh fuck, baby, you feel so good…”
For an instant, all the hurt and anger vanished, and they were lovers again…nothing between them but their desire for one another.
Garrett shuddered and stepped back, withdrawing from Jack. He shed his pants then laid Jack on his back again and covered him, their hot bodies developing a thin layer of sweat. Deep in the back of his mind, Jack was waiting for Rich to call Cut…but closer to the surface, he wasn’t at all aware of anyone else in the room.
Pleasant shivers raced through Jack and he raised his hips to Garrett as the man pushed between his legs again, this time their hard, raw flesh raking together, rubbing and gliding up and down each other’s stiff shafts, a wetness dribbling out and slicking their cocks.
Garrett panted harder, his hands in Jack’s hair again, mouth on his throat, sucking, devouring. He shoved against Jack, hips rolling, pumping. A soft gasp tore free from Jack when the man bit his neck. Jack swore he heard the confession—I want to fuck you so bad—shudder out of Garrett, but maybe it was his own thoughts he was hearing.
His arms curled up around Garrett’s shoulder blades and tightened. Jack parted his legs wider and wrapped around Garrett’s hips, thighs squeezing as he rocked with the man’s perfect rhythm. Body curving and swaying beneath Garrett, Jack shoved his head down into the pillows. His lips parted and released shaky pants as his heart raced dangerously fast, knocking wildly—the walls surrounding it beginning to shudder then crumble as he clung to Garrett.
Jack gasped sharply when the head of Garrett’s slick cock pushed against his tight hole. Jack bit his lip and choked on a whimper. “Please…”
His mouth was suddenly crushed beneath Garrett’s kiss and he was encased in the man’s strong arms, Garrett’s hunger for him shoving in, filling him up.
“Uuhh!” Jack yelled and clawed Garrett’s back, hips lifting, begging for more.
“Fuck!” Garrett grunted hard, tearing free of the kiss, panting, and thrust into him deeper, faster, urgency and desperation taking control, driving him on. “Uuhh! God! Jack!” He grabbed Jack’s mouth, clutching his hair. “Fuck me, Jack…fuck me…” He consumed Jack in another fierce kiss as they held on tight to one another and rolled over.
Jack’s knees ground into the mattress as he shoved his ass down on Garrett’s cock urgently, his face buried in the man’s hot neck, gasping and panting. “Uuhh…fuck me…fuck me, Garrett! Oh God!”
Garrett gripped his ass and pumped his hips, driving up into Jack’s hot, tight body. “Fuck…yes…uuuhh!”
His back hit down on the bed again as Garrett spun them around another time.
Their lips connecting once more, Jack clutched Garrett’s face and kissed him desperately, losing all sense of what was real and what wasn’t. He closed his eyes and held Garrett tight, rocking in rhythm with his every thrust. Their bodies moved faster, with greater urgency, as their orgasms swelled and coiled.
“Oh fuck…fuck…” Jack gasped. “Oh God…yes…make me cum! Oh fuck!” Jack’s hard cock was smashed between their hot, slick bodies, Garrett’s rippled stomach flexed with the strain of their activity, raking it with a perfect friction. “Uuhh! Fuuuck!” Jack arched and writhed, legs squeezing Garrett’s body as he lifted to him and unloaded with a strangled cry, nails gouging Garrett’s back. “Fuuuuck!!”
Jack’s release shoved Garrett over the edge and he shouted loud, slamming in deep and hard, exploding and filling Jack with hot cum. “Fuck! Uuh!” Garrett pounded him a few more times then shuddered hard and sagged on his elbows, his head ducked, brow pasted against Jack’s collarbone. Hard breaths burst out of him, searing Jack’s wet skin.
Tremors coursed through Jack and his fingers remained embedded in Garrett’s slick back muscles. The man’s hair tickled his chin, the smell of their sex mingling with the scent of the cinnamon candles…and the song playing on a loop. Jack stared at the ceiling and felt Garrett shudder again.
I love you.
The unbidden thought slammed Jack hard, and the forbidden words danced on his tongue, walking a tight rope across his trembling lips. An ache cut through him and he bit back the confession before it could announce itself and indict him. You don’t love him. None of this is real. It’s all make believe. Just an act for the…
No one had called Cut. Why had they let it go this far? Jack’s mind began to spin as he caught a glimpse of the studio around them—the empty studio.
Gideon. Rich. Pratt. Everyone…gone. Leaving him and Garrett alone.
The “silence” also dawned on Garrett suddenly and he raised his head. Tension stiffened his body as soon as he noticed the absence of the film crew. A hard breath rushed through his nostrils and he looked sharply at Jack—then he was on his feet in an instant, reaching for his clothes, his face pinched, and eyes tight. He pulled on his pants roughly.
“You and Gideon plan this?” he bit out coldly, fastening the snap of his jeans hurriedly. He paused and glared at Jack as Jack stared at him, shocked and confuse
d by his accusatory question. “It’s just fucking, Jack. Nothing more. So, don’t think that it was.” He grabbed his shirt. “This doesn’t change anything.” A notable strain tightened his voice and a light gloss wet his eyes. “It doesn’t undo the bullshit you pulled that night.” His throat worked but eyes hardened. “You have everyone believing that I fucked you over. Wouldn’t they be shocked to learn that their perfect little Jack is the fucking piece of shit in all this?”
Tears blurred Garrett’s face. Jack’s throat closed, cutting off any words than might try to form. But none did. What was he talking about?
Garrett snatched Jack’s pants off the floor and threw them at him hard, smacking him in the chest. “I wish I had never fucking met you, Jack Heart. It is the biggest regret of my fucking life.”
The guy was gone in an instant, the door slamming behind him.
I wish I had never fucking met you, Jack Heart.
Warm tears coursed down Jack’s face. Just moments ago, “I love you” had raced through his head, nearly exploded his heart. Now they were just empty words, punctured and deflated. Meaningless. Yet somehow…not quite dead, though he wished they were.
Jack rolled onto his side and pulled the pillow into his arms, his body shaking as sobs began to break loose.
I wish I had never met you either, Garrett North.
Epilogue: “The Night In Question”
I’m falling for you, Jack Heart.
Garrett traced a fingertip down Jack’s spine as the boy slept in the bed beside him, exhausted but asleep with a smile still on his lips. A tiny pool of sweat puddled in the small of his back, beads of dampness speckling his perfect butt cheeks, slightly flushed from their intense lovemaking.