“Not much,” I conceded, though I couldn’t imagine her area—accounting—going anywhere. Mine, on the other hand . . .
“A mentor of mine at State used to work here.” She looked left and right and leaned in to speak in a low voice, as if having a mentor at one of the area’s elite universities was classified information. “He gave me the inside scoop, and I guess the president is bringing in some people and pulling together committees or something.”
Her face twisted into a grimace, and I didn’t blame her. Every time I tried to think through what it would mean to lose this job, I wanted to cower. In that moment, though, I still felt like I was floating a few inches in the air. Even talking about the rumor of cuts wasn’t quite pulling me back to Earth.
“It will be an interesting summer,” she said, shaking her head. “Davis said—”
“What?” I heard my own voice become strained, my mood plummeting to the ground. I intentionally slowed my speech. “I mean, sorry, did you say Davis?”
She may not have noticed the shift. “Davis Garner. Did you know him? I don’t think he’s ever mentioned you.”
My feet were now firmly planted, though my stomach lurched. My clothes suddenly felt too constricting and the sun’s rays too bright. I counted to three in my head, trying to dull the panic her words had inspired. She was looking at me expectantly, and I stammered out, “I knew him, yes.”
“Well, anyway, if I hear anything else, I’ll keep you posted. Talk to you later, Naya.” She flashed a bright grin before turning to head in the other direction.
“Same here, Jill.” My response was markedly less enthusiastic, but I returned her smile and waved. I hated how his name still sent me into this physical state where I wanted to jump out of my own skin and curl up in an out-of-the-way corner.
In my pocket, my phone buzzed.
Jake: What should we do tonight?
Jake: BASE jumping? Skydiving? You seem to have a thing for heights.
I tapped my fingers against the side of the phone, glancing from the screen to the direction Jill had walked. I’d allowed myself to feel excited and take risks in the last few days. It was a shift I liked, and I didn’t want to waste the opportunity.
With another deep breath, I took a step forward.
Eleven
At the reception, I silently cursed Joe, Miami, and Hurricane Beatrice. Everyone in the room outranked me by two or three pay grades. Though I’d chosen an unadorned, high-necked black dress and simple black heels, I felt like a child playing dress-up at an adult party.
The university’s upper administration huddled in small groups, sipping wine and talking in low, nervous murmurs. Two people I recognized from another campus department walked in. I didn’t particularly like Bea or Gregory, because they were consummate gossips, but I smiled as I walked toward them across the shiny hardwood floor. Play nice. Make friends.
They welcomed me into their small circle, and I learned that no one knew the reason for the impromptu event. Anxiety was plentiful as the volume in the room grew. I glanced at my watch. The thought of being near Jake again sent a pleasurable jolt through my belly, and I bit my lip to stop from grinning like I’d been doing all day. I tried to focus on the tail end of the conversation.
Bea chimed in with her nasally voice. “I should reach out to Davis Garner—he’s still so well-connected here.”
I tensed at his name, and Gregory coughed, darting his eyes in my direction. Subtle. “That’s not a bad idea,” I interjected before he started trying to talk in code, hoping that my change in mood didn’t show. Gregory’s shoulders seemed to relax, and Bea continued talking, apparently unaware of the entire exchange. Davis had worked for another university for years, but a sinking feeling made me scan the room so I could be prepared for his sneer, his cutting words, or worse. The number of times his name had come up in the last few days made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.
President Lewis stepped to the microphone at the front of the room. Voices hushed as the tall, slender man looked over the group of senior faculty and staff. Flip Lewis carried himself with a squareness to his shoulders that bespoke a youthful arrogance turned to aged confidence. In his seventies, with white hair, his eyes always struck me as kind, and he smiled a lot.
“Thank you.” He cleared his throat. “Thank you all for joining me this evening. I have an announcement, and it is important you hear it directly and all at the same time.” His voice was pleasant, but expressions, and probably sphincters, tightened around the room as he spoke. An introduction like that was never going to mean good news.
“Thurmond University is a fine institution, and since my arrival last year I have been listening and learning everything I can about your departments, research, our students, and the alumni.”
I stood in the area farthest from the president, my back to a wall filled with portraits of previous presidents, and I slipped my phone from my purse to glance at the screen. I remembered Quinton or Quentin texting during my class, and the irony wasn’t lost on me.
Jake: I am ready to get my hands on you again.
Jake: Sexy or creepy?
I smiled, my chest fluttering as I flicked my gaze to President Lewis gesturing to his wife. “When Rebecca and I moved here . . .” I was comfortable that whatever story was beginning would take a minute or two to wind down.
Naya: Mostly creepy. 70/30?
Jake: Only 30? You’re hard to please. Though . . . it’s fun to try.
“And that’s how I concluded that it’s time for Thurmond to move in a new direction and make a shift from being an excellent institution to being the top university in the country. This summer, we are going to embark on a journey toward reaching that goal.”
Jake: Have to go but I’ll see if I can earn a few more points later. I’ll msg you when I’m done.
“I will invite Carlton Brohm to join me.” A stocky man in an expensive-looking, tailored navy suit smiled and moved to stand next to President Lewis. “Carlton runs a management consulting firm, Brohm, Shaw and Associates, that will help us chart our course.”
A collective inhalation spread around the room. Management consultants plus “a new direction” meant cuts and significant changes—none of which were going to be popular. I nervously tapped my fingers against my thigh.
“Thank you for inviting us,” the shorter man said in a booming voice that ricocheted off the walls in the small space. “BSA is a new company, and we bring unique analytic, strategic, and innovation-centered skills to our work. We look forward to helping you capitalize on your strengths.”
I nodded, as did those around me, well aware that “capitalizing on your strengths” usually meant eliminating your weaknesses. We were about to be measured.
“More details will be forthcoming, but I want to introduce someone else you’ll get to know well.”
Carlton’s partner joined him on the platform, and my breath caught in my throat.
Twelve
My eyes widened, and a voice in my head screeched to a halt.
The president assured the collected group this was ultimately going to be a good experience even though change was anxiety inducing. I stopped listening, and my eyes followed Jake as he stepped offstage, whispering with his colleague as the president finished speaking and invited guests to stay and enjoy a drink.
Everyone paused, the room still, before they all began talking at once. My pulse raced, and panic inched up my body. I excused myself from the conversation to move into the less congested hallway.
Breathe. Breathe.
I couldn’t appear like I would faint in the middle of a crowd of senior colleagues and notorious gossips who already had a low opinion of me. Instead, I looked down at my phone.
Jake: Just about done.
Jake: Any thoughts to how I can even out that creepy/sexy ratio?
Jake: I have more cheese puns just in queso emergency.
I stared at the message, and the laugh froze in my throat. What if someone finds out I’m sleeping with him? They’ll assume I’m trying to sway him. Women had been professionally blackballed for less.
I considered fleeing the mansion. Ahead of me, Jake stood at the other end of the hallway with a group of men in suits, his back to me as he looked down at his phone, then back up to finish a conversation with Carlton.
They laughed, and Jake clapped the other man on the shoulder. A fleeting thought had me worried he was laughing at me, and every available insecurity crept into my consciousness. My hand trembled, and I typed out a reply.
Naya: I’m standing behind you.
Jake: See, that’s more creepy than sexy.
“Jake,” I said as his partner stepped away.
Jake turned, confusion clear on his face until we made eye contact. His eyes were wide, and his lips tipped to the side, a cautious half smile spreading across his face under furrowed brows as he walked to me. “What are you . . . doing here?”
“I work here,” I said unsteadily, and took a small step backward as a stream of administrators left the large room where we’d gathered. Apparently, an open bar wasn’t enough of a draw to stay after the bombshell that had been dropped.
He cocked his head. “I thought you were in town on business,” he reasoned, more to himself than to me.
“You never said you did consulting, especially not with colleges.”
“You didn’t want to reveal anything work related, remember?” His expression was even, his posture relaxed. In the midst of the crushing fear of losing my job, I imagined his fingertips and lips on me, all the while holding the pink slip. Of all the men in all the bars in the city, I picked this one to flex my flirtation skills on.
A raspy, almost desperate-sounding laugh escaped my lips. “This is so bad,” I whispered, taking in the familiar aroma of sandalwood.
“It’s not so bad,” he reassured, tracing a fingertip over my shoulder as he brushed my hair away. The intimacy of the gesture rocked me unexpectedly, both in how much I enjoyed it and how terrified I was of others observing us. I stepped back again, and recognition crossed his face as he dropped his hand. “Okay, it’s not great, but it could be worse.”
“How?”
“Let’s talk somewhere with a little more privacy, okay? This thing is winding down.” He waved to the shorter man, Carlton, who tipped his chin toward us before walking back into the gathering. “Is your office close by?”
I shook my head, still glancing around. “If anyone saw us, it would raise questions. You’d have no reason to be there.” Nervous energy coursed through me. Logically, I knew no one had probably even noticed us, but I was still fighting the urge to look over my shoulder for Davis.
His voice dropped to a barely audible whisper. “Your place, then? It feels a little illicit to hand you my hotel room key here.”
“Okay,” I said in a small voice.
“We’ll talk it through. It will be okay. I promise.” His arm twitched, and my eyes widened, hoping he wouldn’t touch me again here. His eyes were curious, and a crease appeared between his eyebrows.
This guy must think I am nuts.
“I’m sorry, I just . . .” I didn’t know how to finish the sentence once I started it, still conscious of eyes on me. The back of my neck tingled, and a thousand thoughts tripped over one another. “I’ll text you my address.”
He nodded slowly, and I turned and exited the mansion alongside the stream of people. I didn’t look back at him or at the others as we walked into the warm evening, a light breeze shifting the air around us. I paused on the sidewalk, and my hands shook as I opened the Uber app. Luckily, I’d only have to wait a few minutes before I could step away from what was increasingly feeling like a stage.
I looked from left to right again to make sure no one I knew had been watching me. I needed to tell Joe about the announcement, but I didn’t plan to tell him I had slept with one of the consultants. Bea and Gregory waved as both walked hurriedly past me, and my phone buzzed in my hand, making me jump.
Jake: Don’t freak out, okay? It will be okay.
I couldn’t do anything other than stare at the message. It wouldn’t be okay—there was no way we could keep going with whatever we were doing. I cursed myself for not wanting to talk about work. I could have avoided all this the night we met. But then he would never have kissed me. And I wouldn’t know how his hands curve to the back of my neck or how it feels when his eyes lock with mine, looking at me like I am the only person in the city.
The car pulled up, and I climbed into the back seat, tucking my phone back into my purse.
What am I going to do?
Thirteen
After answering the buzzer, I paced my living room, waiting for Jake.
I need to calmly and quickly tell him we have to stop. That it’s no one’s fault, but it’s the smart thing to do. Ethical thing to do? No, I’ll go with smart. That’s it. No funny business, just a quick split.
A knock pulled me from my thoughts, and I rolled my shoulders. I can do this.
“Hey,” Jake said when I opened the door. He’d loosened his tie, his jacket was in his hands, and his shirt was rolled up his forearms. His hair was a little tousled, like he might have run his hands through it a few times.
“Hey.” Do I hug him before I end things? I really want to hug him. I motioned for him to come in, ultimately keeping my hands to myself.
“So,” we said in unison. We let out barely audible, awkward laughs, and Jake deferred to me.
“I can’t believe I was so stupid as to not talk about work.” I wrung my hands. “And to lie about living here.”
“It wasn’t stupid.” He set his jacket on the nearby counter and brushed his fingertips along my arms. “We had no reason to assume this would happen. It’s a big city.”
He followed me to the living room couch, settling next to me, our thighs millimeters apart. “You said you were here for a wedding.”
And if he lied about that . . . Suddenly, I questioned the memories of how his touches made me feel.
“I am. The high-maintenance bride, the whooping girl entourage, it’s all true. The timing just happened to work out to come into town early and get started with Thurmond. It’s one of our first big accounts, and I didn’t want to waste the opportunity.” He nudged my knee with his. “Talk to me, Naya like a papaya. Why does this have you so anxious?”
The department where I work with other PhDs is mistaken for the campus day care center at least three times a day, and it’s your job to find that out. Oh, and everyone I work with already thinks I sleep around.
I let out a small, choked laugh. “Besides the fact you’re in charge of me keeping my job?”
“Yeah, I guess, besides that.” His expression a little sheepish, he laced his fingers with mine. The response would have sounded flippant from anyone else, but something in his tone made it softer. “What’s your role at TU?”
At first I hesitated, but he was right. There was no point withholding any details now. “I’m a professor in education, and I don’t want it to seem like this”—I motioned between us—“is me trying to gain an advantage or something. Even in education, women are judged harshly. People talk, they like to talk a lot, and that could be terrible for me if anyone found out we were . . .” What are we doing?
“I understand.”
“So, it’s better if we . . .” I looked down at our laced fingers and inched mine back. “If we don’t see each other again. I mean, you’re only here a few more days, anyway.”
Jake lowered his face to catch my gaze. “You’re right,” he said, his voice low. “That’s the smart thing to do, to cut ties.” He held my gaze, his eyes boring into mine, and I shifted my gaze, unable to handle the weight, the exam
ination.
“I know,” I said into my lap.
“And it’s the responsible thing, probably the ethical thing, too.” He stroked my palm with a slow, deliberate glide I didn’t want to end.
My urge to pull our fingers apart stalled, and our fingertips still mingled.
He had this way of grazing over my skin that relaxed and electrified my nerve endings, leaving me with a confusing need to both climb the walls and sink into him. “But I’m having a hard time thinking about ethics because I’ve been aching to kiss your perfect mouth since I walked in the door.”
My body betrayed my resolve, and flickers of arousal pinged at his words.
Don’t remind me how much I want this.
“I leave in a few days, but I was hoping to spend as much of that time with you as possible. You’re intriguing, and funny, and so damn sexy.”
His intense stare pinned me in my place.
This is wrong. It’s unprofessional. It’s irresponsible.
“Naya, do you—”
But I want it. I want him.
I slipped my hand to the back of his neck and pulled his face to mine roughly. I’d never taken control of a kiss like that, and adrenaline surged through me.
Jake was still for a beat before kissing me back, pulling me onto his lap. Our mouths met frantically, tongues dancing, like the kiss was oxygen.
I hadn’t wanted to kiss him; I’d needed to. The way his lips played over mine had sent me into a place where I was all instinct. I shifted to straddle him, and he groaned, pulling me closer and gripping my backside as my dress inched up my thighs.
“Naya.” He panted before meeting my lips again. My center slid along his hard length, and he hissed, pressing his lips to the column of my throat and sucking gently.
Every touch of his mouth was pushing me forward, a little unsteady, a little elated.
How to Fail at Flirting Page 8