She asked me to stay away. Told me not to follow her, but the moment her voicemail picks up, I know where I’m headed. Just like every time she didn’t answer the phone when we were kids. She should know better by now.
Dakota
I was foolish and maybe a little crazy to think I’d make it through the day at the shop with Easton just across the room, his hard body silently begging me to look at him.
Keeping my eyes to myself was a hard task, one that I fought with everything in me to do but slipped up on multiple occasions. It’s no secret that I couldn’t concentrate with Easton in the room, and I know at least one person noticed today too.
Reese has had a thing for me for as long as I can remember. He hasn’t come out and said it, but actions speak louder than words, and today his actions spoke volumes. It didn’t take a genius to figure out why he was tossing tools around and getting more aggravated than usual. He’s usually the calmest mechanic at the shop, but the more I caught myself staring at Easton while he worked, the more frustrated Reese became.
His frustration on top of Easton meeting my glances on occasion had me completely on edge and my hands unsteady, which only led to me becoming frustrated as well.
Still, knowing that someone was watching us wasn’t enough to keep my wandering eyes in check. Seeing Easton in that slim fitting white T-shirt, covered in grease and oil as he worked on the Impala, had me spellbound, and my carefully constructed walls vulnerable. Whenever his muscles moved beneath the thin fabric as he tightened something or flexed when he wiped his forehead off, my insides buzzed with a need I’ve only ever felt around him.
It doesn’t help matters that my body is still sore from his size stretching me last night. The image of Easton naked is enough to make any heart skip a beat. Hell, maybe even a few beats. And the way he moved around the Impala as if he knew more about it than our shop’s car mechanic himself, was a complete turn-on that screwed with my mind my entire shift.
I told myself repeatedly that I’d leave the minute I was able to—the moment the shop closed—but the sick part of me that has wanted Easton since we were kids had me sticking around, waiting for a moment alone with him. A moment that led to him pressed between my legs on top of that stupid Impala he looked so irresistible working on all day.
The fact that we almost got caught kissing for the second time this week was enough to send me running far away, despite of what I really wanted to do. What I still want to do, which is to be with Easton right now. There’s no denying that it feels lonely without him after discovering what it feels like to have Easton sleep in my bed. This whole house feels lonely… empty.
Exhaling, I close my eyes and try to forget about last night. I need to forget the way it felt to have him here, in my bed, where he doesn’t belong. He was never meant to be in my bed. I can’t help but to ask myself why I want him here so badly then. I know how wrong it is. What kind of person does that make me? Moreover, what kind of sister does that make me?
It’s not fair to Quinn. And if she were here… it’d probably be her bed he was in last night and not mine. It’s selfish that the idea of that hurts, but it does. It’s heart-crushing.
I glance over at my phone to see the time and find a missed text from Ben saying he wants to come over and talk about last night. When headlights shine through the window not even two minutes later, I toss my phone down and jump to my feet.
The anger I felt toward him last night at the pub takes over as I slip into my boots and rush to the front door to confront him. “Dammit, Ben! I told you earlier not to come here. Your face is extremely punch-worthy right now, and I’m trying my hardest not to hit you.”
He flashes me a smile he thinks will change my mind, but all it does is make it harder not to hit him. “Calm down, Dakota. Come here so we can talk.”
I yank his hand away from my waist when he attempts to pull me to him. “Put your hands on me again and I will punch you. I’m in no mood for your cockiness right now.”
I walk down the steps, pushing his chest with each step I take, causing him to walk backward, closer to his truck. “You had no fucking right to open your big mouth last night. It wasn’t your place to say shit. Now tell me what the hell you said to Easton so you can hurry and get off my property before I become very un-ladylike on your ass.”
“Is it really that bad that Easton knows we fucked? Everyone else knows about us. Why is it any different he knows?”
“Are you serious?” I take a deep breath and slowly exhale as the anger inside intensifies. “You’re such a clueless asshole. And going off the fact he punched you, I can only assume you told him in some vulgar way. Tell me your exact words, Ben. You owe me that.”
He moves in uncomfortably close and looks me in the eyes as if he’s proud. “I told Crews it felt good taking your virginity, and he should’ve known I’d get to you with him out of the picture. Not my fault he’s so in love with you that he couldn’t handle—”
My fist flies hard into his face before I can stop it, pain radiating through my hand. Cussing, I shake my hand out, before closing it into a fist and holding it. “Dammit! Get the hell off my property before I punch you again, Ben. Right fucking now.”
“You punched me because you know it’s true. Either that or you’re the one in love with your dead sister’s boyfriend. Which is it? Either way it’s fucked up.”
“Fuck you, asshole.” I shove his chest, before turning to walk up the steps to get away from him. I’m so angry I could kill him with my bare hands right now.
“You already did,” he says, adding fuel to the fire. He touches the eye I just hit and begins walking backward. “And you liked it too. Don’t forget that.”
“Just go. Turn and walk away right now.”
“I’m gone, Dakota. But I’ll be back when he leaves again, and you’ll give into me just like before. You’ll be weak and vulnerable, and you know it. So have fun while he’s here. You and I both know he’s not staying, and even if he does…” He takes another step back and smiles. “You can’t be together anyway. But I’ll let you two figure that out on your own. Hopefully it’s before everyone else in this shitty little town does. Good-fucking-night, Dakota.”
Angry, I turn and walk away, slamming the door shut behind me. I’m so pissed I can hardly catch my breath. “You son of a bitch,” I yell out, placing my back against the door for support. I’m shaking from my anger. It’s been a long time since I’ve been tempted to punch someone. Figures it would be Ben to push me. He’s always been good at pushing people’s buttons, and he just pushed the wrong ones.
It’s minutes before I can move away from the door, my anger keeping me paralyzed. Ben is trying to scare me with his talk about me and Easton, and it worked. He might not tell everyone, because he knows if he did I’d never speak to him again, but he was right about others eventually finding out. And he was even more right about Easton leaving again. He said himself at dinner the other day that being in town can’t be a long-term thing. Then, like an idiot, I let him in my bed and into my already fragile heart.
“Shit! This is too much.” I hurry to the sink and fill a glass with water, my mouth suddenly feeling dry. My chest heaves up and down as I tilt the glass back, not stopping until the liquid is all gone. It’s all over my chest and shirt as I turn on the faucet with shaky hands to refill the glass, but before I can finish, I slam it down and walk away, needing a minute.
My head is a mess. My hand is red and sore from hitting Ben’s stupid face, and my heart aches in the worst way possible for Easton. I haven’t heard from him since I told him not to follow me after work, and now, even though it’s ridiculous, I wish I had him here to hold me and at least pretend for the moment that everything will be okay.
I don’t want to think about him leaving again. I don’t want to think about how being with him is wrong. The only time these thoughts were silenced was when I was in his arms, the one fucking place I shouldn’t be. Talk about being completely and utterly screwed.
By the time I crawl back into bed and try to force myself to sleep, it’s close to one a.m. Ben left more than twenty minutes ago, and my hand is still sore and red. By morning it’s probably going to be swollen and bruised thanks to his hard face, and once everyone sees his eye, they’re going to put two and two together. I’m not so sure I care, but they’re going to want to know why, and I can’t tell them the truth. That it was because of Easton.
Moments later, with my eyes closed and sleep nowhere close to consuming me, my phone vibrates beside me on the bed. My first reaction is to go for the green button and accept the call so I can tell Ben to fuck off, but my finger freezes, my heart thumping hard in my chest when I see Easton’s name flashing across the screen instead.
My breathing becomes labored as I watch his name dance across the screen, waiting for me to accept his call. My heart and body are screaming to answer it and tell him to come over, to tell him that I need him right now. My head is the only thing fighting to be logical right now. As much as I want Easton here, in my bed again, I shouldn’t. I fight my need to answer long enough for his name to disappear and for the “one missed call” to take its place on the screen.
My stomach twists into painful knots as I flip my phone over and try to ignore the fact that he just called me. I fight my thoughts of wanting to know what he was going to say. When we were younger, his calls were the thing I looked forward to the most, but now… his calls are the one thing that could ruin us forever.
I don’t know how long I’ve been laying here, staring at the ceiling like a zombie, when my phone vibrates again, but this time it’s a text from Easton.
Easton: Come outside
My eyes widen as I read his message, my phone slipping from my fingers the moment I’m done, so I can jump to my feet to look outside. Sure enough, Easton is standing against his truck, his arms crossed over his chest.
My heart speeds up at the sight of him standing there in his leather jacket, staring right at my bedroom window as if he’ll break the glass to get to me if I don’t go to him. He’s here, and I know Easton enough to know there’s no getting rid of him until I go outside like he asked.
I run my hands through my hair in a quick panic, composing myself and hurrying to the front door before someone drives by and sees him outside. Stepping outside, I close the door behind me and swallow. “What are you doing here so late, Easton?”
Without a word, he pushes away from his truck and meets me at the steps. He looks up at me with pained eyes, causing my chest to hurt. “I couldn’t stand not talking to you right now, and you didn’t answer the phone when I called.” He runs a hand through his messy hair, looking me over. “You know I hate you not answering the phone when I call. Always have.”
“It’s late and we both have to be up early for work,” I say, walking down the steps to meet him. “I need to have a clear head to finish that Suzuki in the morning. We both need a clear head.”
He takes a step toward me, before running his hand through his messy hair again, most likely frustrated with me because he knows I’m making a sorry attempt to push him away again. It’s something I’ve seen a million times from him when he knows I’m hiding. “I can’t stop thinking about you, Kota. Fuck having a clear head.” He takes another step toward me and I get hit with the smell of whiskey. “I couldn’t fucking sleep without you.” He cups the back of my neck, his eyes meeting mine. “I need you, and I know you need me too. I saw it at the shop today.”
“Easton, you’re drunk.” My voice comes out shaky, because his words are hitting me where I’m weak. “You can sleep without me. You’ve just been drinking and you’re not thinking straight. That’s all.”
He shakes his head and takes a step back. “I only wish I was, because maybe then I wouldn’t hurt so much. But apparently alcohol isn’t strong enough to numb the pain of being in the same town as you again. Trust me, I’ve tried.”
“What about when you were gone?” I ask, hands shaking at my sides.
“It didn’t work then either. Not for a damn second.” I close my eyes and lean into his touch when his thumb traces my cheekbone. “Are you gonna let me come inside?”
I shake my head, fighting to be strong.
“Do you want to?” he questions against my lips. “Don’t lie to me. Don’t tell me what you think you have to. We’re past all that bullshit. Tell me the goddamn truth.”
“Yes,” I say, grabbing his hand when he traces my bottom lip with his thumb. His touch is breaking down what’s left of my walls, and he knows it. “But we can’t make you sleeping in my bed a habit.”
“I disagree, Kota.” He takes a few steps forward, causing me to walk backward toward the steps. “I think it was meant to be a habit a long fucking time ago.” He continues to move forward, slowly, and before I know it, we’re at my front door and he’s holding it open for me to walk inside.
The moment the door closes behind us, he grabs my hand and leads me to my bedroom. With his eyes trained on me, he slips out of his jacket and shoes, before sitting on the bed and pulling me down to straddle his lap. “Fuck, I’ve been wanting to hold you all day. I haven’t been able to concentrate since leaving the shop earlier.” He brushes my hair from my neck and kisses it, before laying back on the bed, pulling me with him.
He adjusts us so that I’m laying across his chest, but sits up for a second to yank his shirt over his head and pulls my head back down to him. The warmth of his bare skin on my cheek has me forgetting everything and cuddling into the comfort of his arms.
We lay in silence for a while as he trails his fingers over my arm, occasionally leaning down to kiss my head as if being like this, in my bed, is normal. It almost feels that way too, until he runs his hand down my arm and grabs my hand, causing me to jump when he squeezes it.
This causes alarm, and he sits up and turns on the beside lamp to get a look at my hand. “Shit. What the hell happened?”
I pull my hand away from Easton and sit up, because I know he’s going to be pissed once he finds out Ben was here. The last thing anyone needs right now is him showing up at Ben’s house. Everything is already complicated enough as it is. “It’s nothing.”
“That doesn’t look like nothing.” He grabs my hand and pulls it back to him to get a closer look. “What or who did you hit?”
“Ben.” I look up to meet his eyes when he stiffens beside me. “Leave it be, Easton. He’s gone and it’s over with. He said what he needed to say and my fist hit what it needed to hit. I don’t want to think about it anymore tonight.”
His jaw flexes as he runs his fingers over my red knuckles, his eyes filling with rage. He’s not having it, and I need him to calm down. “He was here tonight? What did the asshole do to you? Did he fucking touch you?”
“No. He told me what he said to you last night.” I pull my hand away again and attempt to maneuver my way out of his arms, but his grip on me tightens, showing me he’s not letting me go. “I didn’t want you finding out from him. I was going to tell you. I just didn’t know when. I told him off for running his mouth and he said shit that pissed me off.”
“The fucker is lucky I didn’t kill him.” His breath is heavy against my forehead and I know he’s fighting hard not to go after him right now. “He’s even luckier he was gone before I got here. There’s no telling what I would’ve done to that piece of shit. I don’t want him showing up here anymore. I’ll make sure that shit doesn’t happen again, and if it does, you call me.” He grabs my chin, causing me to look up at him. “Promise me?”
I nod. “I didn’t think you’d come tonight.”
I look up at him and he kisses my forehead. “I couldn’t stay away. I’ve already told you this. You can push all you want, but I’m not going anywhere.” He tilts my chin up a little higher and kisses me softly on the lips, everything else seeming to melt away in this moment. “It’s late. Let’s forget about our shitty day for now and get some sleep. Forget about Ben. His words don’t mean shit.”
The last thing I remember before falling asleep is Easton kissing my hand, before covering it with his, as if to keep it safe while we sleep.
My heart can’t handle him and the way he makes me feel and it’s terrifying.
Dakota
When I wake up and roll over, the spot beside me is empty, the sheet no longer warm from Easton’s body. A sick feeling swims around the pit of my belly as I sit up and look around my empty bedroom. It’s the second morning in a row that I’ve woken up to Easton already gone. It’s a feeling I’m not very fond of. In fact, I’m beginning to hate it. With a sigh, I lean over and grab my shirt from the floor and slip it on, before climbing out of bed and heading to the bathroom.
Just as I’m about to walk inside, I pick up the slight smell of something cooking in the kitchen. I can’t make out what it is, and to be honest, I don’t care. All I care about is that Easton is still here. I’m not even thinking about anyone else right now, including Hope, who is just minutes down the road. It’s early enough that hopefully everyone is still sleeping. I’m not ready to go back to pretending just yet.
When I make it down the hall minutes later and poke my head into the kitchen, Easton is standing against the kitchen island with his shirt off, arms crossed over his firm chest. My heart rate spikes as I take in the glorious sight of him in only his fitted jeans and his hair a mess. “I didn’t see your stuff when I woke up. I thought you’d left.”
He pushes away from the island and tangles his hands into my hair, pulling back so I’ll look up at him. “How did that make you feel? Be honest.”
Wreck My World Page 19