Kennedy is King

by Cameron James

  “What do you mean I won’t like it?”

  “You won’t. You’ll get all high-pitched and squeaky and shouty. Then you’ll cause hell.”

  “Are you back with Devon?”

  “No.” I stated, “God no. My God Cassidy I’m horny not thick.” I said, he laughed covering his mouth then frowning at me.

  “So, are you just, sleeping around? How could you think I wouldn’t like that… well, I mean, I don’t like that because that’s weird.” He shook his head, then sighed as I shook mine back. “What are you doing Kennedy?”

  “You know, I’m eighteen, I can do what I like?”

  “Oh shut up.” He muttered, then sat on the edge of the bath. I sighed. “We’re brothers. No scratch that…”

  “We’re twins.” I said, he looked up at me,

  “You’ve always told me everything, and I’ve always told you everything. What’s so bad that you can’t even tell me? I won’t judge you Kennedy. Ever in fact. I know I talk shit but you’re my brother and…” he sighed.

  “And?” I asked, he shook his head.

  “I think about Harrison a lot.” He said quietly, “and Preston. They loved each other, and they kept it a secret, for so long that when Preston… when Preston died no one knew that they still loved each other. No one acknowledged Harrison as Preston’s boyfriend because they hadn’t told anyone.”

  “You’re worried, I’m…”

  “No.” he said shaking his head quickly, “I’m not worried about history repeating itself, but I am worried that you’re obviously keeping something a secret at fear that it won’t be liked and that, that can really hurt.”

  “Do you promise not to react?” I asked, sitting beside him on the bath.

  “I can’t promise not to react, re-acting is my entire, thing.” He said, I smiled at him, he smiled back.

  “I think I’ve got a boyfriend.” I said slowly, his eyebrows raised quickly. “But we’ve never actually discussed this, so he might not feel the same way I do.”

  “He gave you this?” Cassidy asked lifting my chin, I nodded slowly. “I’m going for he feels the same way about you.” He said nodding, I laughed.

  “He only gave me that because I told him I hadn’t had a blowjob before and he felt somewhat guilty for giving me one and not knowing that it was my first one ever.” I sighed,

  “Was it good?”

  “Yes.” I breathed, “it might have been my first one ever but it wasn’t his.”

  “Who Kennedy?” he asked, our eyes met, his expression appeared more concerned than anything else. “If it’s not the choir, or the band. I would know if it was someone in my theatre.”

  “Stephen.” I said softly, he examined me and I could see him trying to work through the name. Trying to match the name with a face.

  “He’s definitely in our year, right?”

  “Right.” I nodded. I watched the moment he realised who I was talking about. His mouth opened in a silent gasp as his eyes widened.

  “Stephen, the dick on the football team.” He said, I nodded.

  “Yeah…” I said deciding not to defend him from being a dick, because a lot of the time, I thought he was a dick too.

  “Your boyfriends on the football team?” he said, I nodded slowly then he smiled, I frowned at him, “what?”

  “Why are you smiling?” I almost squeaked,

  “I’m happy for you.” He said, “is that so hard to believe?”

  “Yes.” I said nodding, he laughed.

  “I love you Kennedy, if you’re happy then I am. Even if it’s with a sweaty footballer.” He said his nose crinkling, I almost laughed. “Is he why you did that bike ride?” he asked, I nodded slowly. “You did a bike ride to impress a boy.”

  “No, I did a bike ride because he practically chewed me out for not talking to him at Caleb’s party, and he was right because it was one of the worse things I could’ve done. It was stupid and I realised that, so I made a point of showing him I wasn’t ashamed of him.

  We talked it out, when I fell off the bike and he was setting my arm. We talked about a lot of things and we kind of agreed to give it a go, but to also lay low.”

  “You couldn’t even tell me?”

  “I didn’t think you’d like it. I thought you’d tell me to stop, to back off, leave him alone.”

  “You thought wrong.” He said nodding, “and I’d be such a hypocrite.” He said, I lolled my head at him as he bit his lip. “I’ve enjoyed the company of a few guys from the football team, they’re quite, flexible.”

  “Cassidy.” I said in a gasp, he laughed.

  “I’m a slut that’s an issue for another time. Luckily for you, I don’t think I’ve ever with Stephen.”

  “You won’t have.” I said, he frowned so I laughed quietly. “He doesn’t like you very much.” I said softly, he smirked at me so I sighed as I leant my forehead on his shoulder.

  “Your splint comes off next week, has this seriously been going on for six weeks?”

  “More.” I whispered as I sighed,

  “How have you kept this so quiet? Does anyone know?” he asked, I shook my head softly,

  “Harrison, I guess. He doesn’t know the specifics, just…” I stuttered as he punched my arm.

  “You told Harrison before you told me, you bastard. We had a deal.” He stated, we both turned when there was an urgent knock on the en suite door.

  “Are you two finished?”

  “Cody.” I said amused as Cassidy stroked my arm, where he’d punched it.

  “I need the toilet; please tell me you’re finished.” He said, Cassidy laughed as he stood. He opened the door, taking a step back and laughing as Cody stepped past him. He glanced at me and obviously decided he didn’t care as he stood to the toilet.

  “Did you find out who he was shagging then?” Theo asked, Cassidy laughed as they leant on opposite sides of the doorframe.

  “He’s not shagging anyone.” He said, looking at me over his shoulder. I smiled overly pleasantly as Cody turned to frown at me.

  “What? Did you just, fall?” Cody said dryly, I smirked.

  “Obviously.” I said nodding, he laughed as he washed his hands.

  ♕

  Chapter Sixteen

  “As of right now…” I explained, “Cody knows but is keeping it from Cassidy, and Cassidy knows but is keeping it from Cody. Theo knows nothing except for the fact that I got a love bite from somewhere – thanks, by the way.”

  “Oh any time.” Stephen smirked as we continued to walk around the field.

  “I should really get you back for that.” I said,

  “Promises, promises.” He all but purred, I smirked at him he grinned back. “You can’t do it on my neck.” He said matter-of-factly, I rose my eyebrow at him, he shrugged, “you can do it on my thigh though.”

  “Huh.” I said, “I got semi-hard from that sentence alone.”

  “Ah-ha my superpower has been revealed.” He said happily then he turned to me tapping my chest. I fixed his lapel. “I have a football game tonight. I’m going to have to go.” He sighed, “and believe me, I’m devastated.”

  “Why don’t you just not go? Come to my room and let’s…”

  “I have to.” He cut me off, covering my mouth with his hand, I gave serious consideration to licking his palm. “Don’t tease. If I don’t turn up, the turn out for our side drops to single digits.” He said, I shook my head. “You think I’m joking but it’s cold, no one wants to watch our matches anyway, much less when it’s cold.” He sighed lightly then he shrugged. “We’ll beat the Lions though, no worries there and I’ll see you, tomorrow?”

  I shook my head; he removed his hand.

  “Splint.” I said, he clasped his hand back over my mouth.

  “Shit, yeah.” He said, I sighed behind his hand, he winked at me. “Okay, text me, okay? We’ll figure it out.”

  I nodded. He smiled. I licked his hand.

  “Ew.” He murmured, then pulled me towards h
im with my tie. We kissed.

  “Text me the score.” I said, he nodded, kissed me again then walked away. He really didn’t get far before he sighed and came back to kiss me again.

  Cassidy and I walked down the corridor, both of us working on the same sheet of paper, the music sheet of Don’t Loose Your Head, which, Cassidy was performing in the Christmas Showcase.

  I was changing the composition, making it lower for him, because even though his falsetto was incredible it wasn’t that good – don’t tell him I said that. He was allocating parts of the song to his ensemble. Neither of us looked up because we knew the rest of the student body would part for us as we walked. We also didn’t talk. Until,

  “Enjoying having two arms I see.”

  I looked up, then I laughed as Stephen walked past us. He winked then continued on. I watched him go.

  “Gushing.” Cassidy murmured without looking up, I tutted.

  “No, I’m not.” I said, he looked up at me raising his eyebrow, I did it back.

  “Oh it’s like a mirror.” Cody said, we both turned to look at him “Ah.” He said dramatically, I bit my lip so I wouldn’t laugh because he wasn’t funny.

  “You’re blocking our way, because?” Cassidy asked,

  “Your sax is missing you.” Cody said whimsically, tilting his head at me, I did it back. “Otis wants to see you before rehearsal just to make sure you’re ready to come back.” he paused, turning on his heel to Cassidy, “and My Lady…” he curtsied,

  “What have you got for me?”

  “Nothing.” He shrugged lightly, “but I thought it’d be rude to ignore you.”

  “Here.” I said passing him my sheet, he smiled.

  “Thank you, baby doll.” He said then kissed my cheek, placing my sheet over his own, reading over it before starting to walk again. I kept pace with him as Cody turned around to walk alongside us. We broke at the end of the corridor. The briefest of waves as Cassidy turned off towards the theatre, whilst Cody and I walked to the boarding halls to get my saxophone.

  I went alone as I figured Otis would prefer me to see him alone. He smiled at me almost looking relieved as I walked in with all my limbs attached.

  “How I’ve missed you Kennedy.” He said softly then he tapped the music stand. I stood behind it, then I laughed.

  “Easing me back in, I see.”

  “This was your audition song when you were eleven.” He said, folding his arms and smirking at me, I nodded.

  “I’m impressed you remember that.” I said, he laughed.

  “Kennedy, you were eleven, your sax was bigger than you and you stood before me with braces…”

  “We don’t talk about the braces.” I snapped, Otis laughed, because both Cassidy and I had, had our braces removed close enough to the beginning of first year that no one remembered that we ever had them.

  “With braces, and you said. Hello I’m Kennedy Bradford and I’m going to play Edge of Glory by Lady Gaga, because Lady Gaga is inspirational and you will not believe how excited I was when she released a song that is primarily saxophone, so I’m going to play it… if that’s okay.

  And, honestly, I thought oh god, here is an eleven year old who is about to squeak their way through one of my icons songs. I learnt two things that day.”

  “Which where?” I asked as I got my saxophone out of its case. I stroked my finger down the body almost sighing because fuck I’d missed my saxophone.

  “One, I should give eleven year olds more credit.” He smirked, I laughed. “Two, you were going to grow up to be something sensational, and if I didn’t let you into my orchestra I might as well resign.”

  “Wait, they actually pay you? I thought you just turned up.” I said, he laughed.

  “Play Kennedy. Show me that elbow still works.” He said, then tapped his music stand. I nodded to him, reading over the music although honestly, I knew it back to front. I winked at him the raised my saxophone to my lips and began to play.

  I remembered my first audition so clearly. It happened at the same time Cassidy’s audition for the theatre because you had to choose, one or the other. He was confident, so damn confident and he went into that audition armed with three songs. One from a classic musical, one from a newer more unknown and one sang by a female. He gave Finn the choice which song he heard.

  I was bricking it, because yes I was eleven and yes my saxophone was bigger than me – which I felt bad about until I saw Cody playing his cello at eleven and well suddenly my instrument wasn’t too bad – and I truly didn’t know if I was actually that good. Sure, my Mum had told me I was, my saxophone teacher had trust me and Harrison seemed genuinely amazed whenever I played in front of him, but I was still just eleven, and Otis could’ve put a very quick end to my short lived saxophone career with one word.

  He didn’t, obviously. In fact, he kind of cradled my ego. Practically adopted it, nourished it and let it grow, and never helped to deflate it.

  “Perfect.” He said nodding, “thank God Kennedy.”

  ♕

  Chapter Seventeen

  Text Message 10:45

  Stephen: Hey, remember me?

  Kennedy: ?? x

  Stephen: Haven’t seen, or heard from you all week.

  Kennedy: I can see you today x

  Stephen: training.

  Kennedy: When does training finish? x

  Kennedy: Stephen? x

  Kennedy: Are you upset with me? x

  I went to the football cage. It was unnecessarily cold, and I’d told myself they definitely wouldn’t be training outside in this weather, but I’d gone to the gym, and the sports hall before the cage and they weren’t in either.

  They were outside, running around their breaths coming out in clouds, in their football shorts and their team hoodies. I felt cold for them, rubbing my hands over my arms as I walked towards the training. I stood on the outskirts as the whistle blew and they all began stretching. Their coach shouting some instructions at them and then they all began laughing.

  “Go get showers to warm yourselves up boys. Good training today, we’re going to destroy the Sharks on Tuesday.” He said as they began to leave. Stephen was the last out of the cage, he stopped in front of me, sighed then shrugged.

  “Figured it out did you.”

  “Why do you train outside?” I asked and that probably wasn’t what I was supposed to say.

  “I don’t know. I guess they hope one of us will die from hypothermia so they can cancel our matches.”

  I laughed. He looked down.

  “Stephen.”

  “I get it, don’t worry.” He sighed, “you’ve got your life back. Your arm back, you can play the saxophone again, be with your friends.” He sighed, “I get it okay. I don’t know why I didn’t think this’d happen. I just, I need to know…” he sighed closing his eyes. “I need to know what this was? Whether I was just something to distract you whilst your elbow was broken. Just someone to make out with for six weeks to get over Devon. Easy, I guess because you could keep me a secret, you could get away with no one knowing because I’m amongst the peasants of the school.

  I, I will be blunt with you and tell you I’ll be heartbroken if you were just using me, but I also want you to be honest with me, and tell me if you are using me.”

  “I’m not using you.” I said weakly, he looked at me, he shivered. I didn’t even think, I just took off my parka and put it on him. He looked bemused, but he snuggled into the parka obviously thankful for the warmth. “I swear to you Stephen, I’m not using you and never was. I didn’t need something to distract when I broke my elbow, because I broke my elbow trying to get you to see me. Everything I’ve done has been to prove myself to you, to prove I’m not just… the King.” I sighed. “I’m sorry I got swept back up in the orchestra like I did, I, didn’t even think. I was just so relieved that I could play my sax again,

  I love playing my sax Stephen, it’s like the biggest part of me, the most real part. I’m sorry and, Devon, yeah, I prob
ably did need to get over him but I didn’t think about him, not once when I was with you. Well, except when you were throwing wine over him.” I smirked, he laughed.

  “You, promise?”

  “I swear.” I said softly. “I swear. Come back to my room.” I said, he frowned.

  “It’s Saturday.”

  I nodded.

  “Cassidy and Theo have gone to the West End to see a musical about a president.”

  “Hamilton.” He said cocking his eyebrow at me, I did it back. “It’s like the most famous musical in an age, brush up on your theatre.”

  I rolled my eyes.

  “They’ll be gone well into the night because they’ll go for drinks afterwards. Cody is on a date.”

  “Oh.” He said, he sounded surprised, I nodded dramatically.

  “I know right. He’ll be gone most of the afternoon too – but if he does come back, we don’t have to hide from Cody.” I paused, “do you forgive me?” I asked, he bit his lip.

  “Let me take a shower in your room, and buy me a coffee whilst I’m doing so and I might consider it.”

  “Tough bargain.” I said, then I smirked at him I figured it looked playful. “It sounds a bit like you’re using me.” I said, he gasped then hit my arm. I smiled at him, he sighed.

  “You’re cute, it’s frustrating as fuck.” He sighed, “I’ll go and get my clothes.” He nodded, I nodded with him watching as he turned from where he was stood and walked towards the changing rooms.

  He was sat on my bed in his binder and a pair of jogging bottoms, his hair wet, obviously from his shower. He smiled at me when I came back into my room.

  “Your nose is pink.” He said lightly, as I sat opposite him on my bed.

  “It’s cold.” I said softly as I passed him the coffee. He sighed happily, holding it in both of his hands as if he was appreciating the warmth – which he admittedly probably was. “I’m sorry.” I whispered, he smiled but it was soft.

  “I know.” He said then he cleared his throat, “and, it’s okay, it’s okay, if your life takes over again and…”

  “That’s not okay.” I said shaking my head. “No, not. At all. I like you.” I sighed. “My God, I really like you. Do you even realise what you do to me? I…” I closed my eyes. “I just wish I was confident enough to tell everyone.”