by Regine Abel
“The moment I stepped into the courtyard, their malicious smirks and condemning expressions told me something was wrong. That’s when I saw my Lissy, naked and shackled on an altar. Our son, Goliath, wailed for his mother, trapped in a cage like an animal.”
I remembered hesitating when she’d chosen that name for our son. Although pleasant sounding and appropriate in that the boy would grow to be a giant by human standards, the story of his demise at the hand of a smaller man had struck me as an ill omen.
“My father made me watch as the juveniles took turns—fifteen in total, one for each month I’d kept my son’s life a secret. He chose them because their age made them the perfect size to fuck a human without killing her in minutes.”
Ravena’s hand covered her mouth, muffling her horrified gasp. That moment was forever burnt in my memory, and not just the dreadful sight of those men violating my female as I stood there, helpless. The sounds were the worst as they panted and groaned with pleasure under the cheers of the others; Lissy’s desperate cries as she begged me for help; the heart-wrenching screams of my son who had been old enough to understand they were hurting his mother while I, his father, stood there not coming to her aid.
I closed my eyes and exhaled loudly, my hand rubbing the stabbing pain in my chest.
“By the fifth one, Lissy stopped calling out for me. When the last was done, my father held the cage up for me. That’s when she finally understood that the punishment wasn’t for her alone. She begged and pleaded for me to spare Goliath. She even offered to send him away or ask that we sell him as a slave, as long as we spared his life. But that would never have happened. Not with my father. Letting him live meant our bloodline had been soiled.”
I ran a shaky hand through my hair, shame and guilt burning like acid in my gut.
“You see, the altar usually has a wall at its head. Once the female has been punished, the sire is expected to bash the child’s head on it so the blood and gore can rain down on the mother’s face. When the deed is done, he is to place the corpse on her chest, there to remain through the night.”
Ravena’s hand slipped to her chest, gripping her heart as if to contain it. Head slowly shaking from side to side in denial, her eyes pleaded for me to say I hadn’t done it. My throat constricted painfully while my blood seemed to turn to acid in my veins. I lowered my head in shame, unable to withstand the condemnation and the disgust that would follow.
“I couldn’t bash his head on that wall, but I couldn’t let him live either. I’d known it all along but wanted to live the illusion of a happy family. When I delayed to act, my father threatened to do it himself. He would have made a spectacle of it, so I broke our son’s neck and placed his dead body on her chest. And thus they remained until the next morning.” My voice choked on those words. I inhaled deeply to get the strength to continue. “Lissy took her own life the following day. From the doctor’s account, she would have died anyway from internal injuries.”
Ravena abruptly rose from her chair and walked away, stopping in front of the waterfall, arms wrapped around her waist. The sense of rejection struck me like so many daggers in my chest. I fisted my hands on my lap, trying to contain the vivid pain that had been my companion for decades, made even more acute at the thought of losing the one female that had reawakened my heart in all those years and given me the desire to wish for more.
“I could have saved her,” I whispered, the same regret gnawing at me. “I could have saved them both by simply renouncing my clan. Instead, I spent the next thirty-eight years with their deaths on my conscience.”
“No, you couldn’t have,” Ravena said over her shoulder in a voice hard as steel, laced with barely repressed anger. “Your father wouldn’t have allowed tainted blood to sully his bloodline. With or without your cooperation, they would have been made examples of.”
I wished she’d turn around so that I could see the expression on her face.
“You’re right,” I conceded, realizing that I’d never looked at it from that angle, too swallowed-up by self-hatred. “He would have destroyed them, and probably killed me as well or tortured me until I recognized the error of my ways. But that doesn’t change what I’ve done. The Fates have made it a point to remind me of my sins” I said, laughing sadly in self-derision. “Six of those juveniles—well, make that four now—sit on my council. Every day, I eat and drink with them, work with them, socialize with them. And all I see, are those bastards rutting over my Lissy while she begs me to save her.”
“Those remaining of the Fifteen?” Ravena asked, turning around to face me.
Her hard stare bored into me. I hated being unable to read her emotions right now, aside from sensing her underlying anger. Where condemnation and contempt would have crushed me, anger I could deal with.
“Yes,” I said, holding her gaze.
“You’ve been killing them, one by one.”
“Yes.”
She nodded slowly, then crossed her arms over her chest, eyes narrowing at me. I braced for whatever would come next.
“Is that why you asked me about moon juice this morning?” Ravena asked, her voice cold enough to freeze an erupting volcano. “As a warning you will have to kill any male offspring we might conceive?”
“NO!” I shouted, jumping to my feet, seething with anger. “No one will ever again harm my woman or child because of genetics.” My hands fisted spasmodically with fury and the urge to break something. “Thirty-eight years ago, I failed to show the same courage that Krygor had when he allowed Anton to live. He faced contempt and challenges to his leadership of the clan for standing by his convictions. He and Lissy opened my eyes. I have devoted my life to abolishing those barbaric laws. But that only goes so far. No matter how severe the punishment, people will still break laws. It is mentalities that must change, and that takes time.”
She studied my face as if hoping to find there the answer to some question. I withstood her examination stoically, not daring to let hope blossom that she might forgive my crime.
“Do you still love her?” Ravena asked, with a neutral tone.
“Yes,” I said, matter-of-fact. “I will always love her. Some say it was nothing but puppy love, that the tragic events and my guilt have made me embellish what had only been a childhood fling. Others, like my father, claim she’d been using me, ensnaring the future ruler of Braxia with her wiles in the hopes I’d elevate her station from slave to concubine.” I shrugged. “Either could be true, or both could be false. It doesn’t matter to me. Growing up under my father was a never-ending nightmare. Lissy gave me the rare moments of happiness I ever experienced back then. For that alone, she will always hold a special place in my heart.”
Ravena pulled her long braid before her again, fingers fiddling with it as she began pacing. Lost in thoughts.
“You never married. Why?” Ravena asked, observing me from the corner of her eyes as she slowly strolled back and forth.
“Marriage is optional on Braxia. Most males do not take a mate but will take any number of concubines over the years. There is no concept of legitimacy for offspring here,” I said, walking around the table to reduce the distance between us. “Most unions only seek to form lasting alliances between houses and clans.” I paused and took in a deep breath, getting to the heart of her underlying question. “After Lissy, no female made me want more than mere sexual release, or a good bloodline for my heirs. Until you.”
Ravena stopped her pacing to look at me, a strange expression crossing her features.
“What of you?” I asked. “Why is such a beautiful, smart, and independent female unwed and childless?”
She shrugged. “Until recently, conceiving was impossible with any species other than Korletheans. Considering Guldan’s enslaved them to breed with Veredians, they weren’t really eager to hang out with me or any of my kind,” she said, with sarcasm dripping with an undisguised contempt for the Korletheans. “But I didn’t mate and avoided serious relationships because an Oracle had
told me early on that I would meet my soulmate shortly after my brother’s death and being reunited with my mother. So I waited.”
My heart leapt. She’d claimed me as her soulmate during our ride to the forest. In light of my confession, did she regret the wait?
“Veredians are barely coming back from the brink of extinction,” Ravena said, resuming her pacing. “Contraception is anathema to us. You and I have been pretty active. What if I’m already pregnant?”
I didn’t try to hide from my face the pleasure such a prospect gave me. Yes, there would be challenges, but whatever the future held for us, I wanted a child with this woman… and more.
“Then I will happily fight for both of you, to keep you safe and ensure no one ever threatens you.” I marched up to her, forcing her to stop her pacing. “But what of you, Ravena? If you are pregnant, would you want a child sired by me?”
She recoiled. “Of course,” she said, as if I’d asked a ridiculously obvious question. “You’re my soulmate.”
My stomach knotted, and my heart leapt.
I swallowed hard, my eyes flicking between hers. “Even now? Even after what I’ve done?” I whispered.
Ravena’s expression softened as her gaze roamed over my features. She closed the distance between us and pressed her palms to my chest. I shivered, my hands covering her much smaller ones, hope taking root again deep within.
“I cannot deny that your tale is deeply troubling,” Ravena said in a soft voice. “But you were a boy under the tyrannical rule of a fanatic. We’ve all done terrible things in our past. Believe me, mine is far from pristine.”
The haunted glimmer in her eyes made me wonder what dark secrets tormented her. She cupped my face in her hands, her thumbs caressing my cheeks. I closed my eyes and leaned into her touch, my heart melting with affection for my mate.
“What matters is what we do about it today,” Ravena continued. “In the short few days I’ve known you, I’ve seen the relentless battle you’re leading to bring about change and to prevent such horrors from ever happening again. I know what you’ve done for Anton to help ensure his safety and that of his family. They’ve never given me any details, but I can see that Anton is still haunted by things he has done to Grace in the past. The guilt and remorse he continues to feel was impossible to miss during one of our conversations at Risqué. Whatever happened, I am glad Grace forgave him because that man worships her.”
“They are soulmates,” I said, carefully drawing her into my arms. “He has sacrificed much and more to be with her, and to make her happy. Whatever the future holds, on my honor, I will fight for us.”
“That is all I can ask,” Ravena said.
Rising on to the tip of her toes, she pulled my face towards her to give me a short, but tender kiss before resting her head on my chest. My arm closed around her slender waist, my free hand slipping through the silky length of her long hair to hold her nape.
Joy, fear, gratitude, and uncertainty all battled for dominance within me. She hadn’t rejected me for the horror I’d committed; her whose people cherished every new life as they fought for the survival of their species. It further cemented the improbable emotions she’d awakened in me. I barely knew Ravena, but every fiber of my being screamed to me that she belonged by my side, that no other would ever complete me like she could.
But so many wanted my downfall. It was selfish of me to keep her and, worse still, to consider having a child with her. I should help Ravena get whatever she came to Braxia for and then send her away. If she ever came to harm because of my enemies, it would destroy me. And yet, I couldn’t let her go. The Ancestors forgive me, but I needed her.
My arms tightened around my mate as I begged the ancient spirits to help me protect her.
CHAPTER 10
Mercy
In the two days that followed the savage hunt, word of my combat skills, and what I had done to turn the tide in favor of the Braxians, spread like wildfire. The way people stole weird glances at me, you’d think I’d grown a second head. I was growing restless and increasingly fed up with acting reasonable.
I’d fought for so long to be freed of the overprotective cage in which my father had held me captive to hide me from those who would hunt me, only to shove myself right into another one. Not only did the damn prosthetics still hide my Veredian markings, but I’d also remained cooped up in Ravik’s fortress since the hunt. He wanted to make sure all Guldans had departed the planet before he ‘allowed’ me to spend time at my brother’s house.
Allowed… Seriously?
I’d had it and intended to confront him about it. When I’d awakened this morning, Ravik had already left. He always rose early for some secret meetings with his close council or to go spar. As per usual, he would come back and have breakfast with me on the patio before the actual start of his ‘normal’ day.
Ravik walked in to find me dressed, my computer and tech kit ready to go. His smile faded, his eyes narrowing into a speculative stare. “Going somewhere?” he asked.
I lifted my chin. “You know where I’m going, Ravik. The question is: will your men accompany me, or should I call Krygor?”
He grimaced in exasperation and unshouldered his sparring staff before marching to his armory on the opposite side of the bedroom. He tapped on the discreet symbol on the wall which parted to reveal a walk-in sized room containing a variety of staff weapons on a stand, wall-mounted racks of blasters, and display shelves laden with bladed weapons from daggers to broadswords. Ravik put away his staff and started removing his sweaty shirt as he exited the room, en route to the bath.
“I asked you a question,” I snapped, angered to be ignored.
“One to which you already know the answer,” he snarled, balling his shirt before tossing it on the chair by the bath. “You are not going to your brother’s house today.”
My blood heated with the first flames of my mounting rage. “So I’m your prisoner now?”
Ravik exhaled loudly while giving me an exasperated look. “Don’t speak nonsense.”
“Nonsense?” I spat, advancing two menacing steps towards him. “I’m trapped in your fucking fortress, miles away from my brother’s house. You’ve blocked my access to my ship and hoverbike. You’ve gone so far as to forbid anyone from providing me any means of transportation. I can’t even try to leave the compound without your guards herding me back in like a fucking sheep. What do you call that if not imprisonment?”
“It’s called protection,” he snapped.
“I didn’t ask for your fucking protection!” I yelled. “Anton had already made arrangements for me with his father and his clan. You imposed yourself. If I’d known your offer meant putting a fucking leash on me, I’d have told you where to shove it.”
“I’m the fucking Magnar, Ravena!” Ravik shouted, slapping his chest with both hands. “You are my woman. I’m already standing on shaky ground. If anything happens to you, instead of helping me rescue you, my detractors will come at me with everything they’ve got to seize power. If anyone is a prisoner here it’s me, chained to my duty as ruler of Braxia.” He sighed heavily, his gaze taking on a pleading edge. “I need you to stand with me, Ravena, not add to my burden.”
I looked at him, disbelieving. “That’s so unfair. So, it’s not enough that I continue to lie by pretending to be something I’m not with those damn prosthetics to spare you having to deal with potential vultures that might come after me. Now, I’m supposed to remained locked up in here for the rest of my days like a fucking bedroom slave?”
Ravik closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair, gripping it in the back. He heaved a sigh, his broad, muscular shoulders drooping. When he reopened his eyes and looked at me, the helplessness I read within clawed at my heart. My anger slightly abated, as a sliver of guilt slipped in.
“Yes, Ravena. It is unfair to you. The mess on Braxia is not your burden to bear. Whatever you may think, I swear that I’m not trying to control, let alone enslave you. I respect you
too much. But, right now, I need you to help me shoulder the weight just for a little while longer.”
Arms crossed over my chest, I pinched my lips and looked away, moved more than I wanted to admit by the raw emotion on his face.
“Two days, Ravena,” Ravik said, in a soft tone. My eyes snapped back to his. “Give me two more days for my men to finish sweeping the land. And then, on my honor, I promise to give you as big of an escort as you wish to go to your brother’s house.”
On his honor… The magic words.
Two more fucking days staring at the walls or being stared at for not fitting the Braxians’ perception of females. I didn’t relish the prospect, but I also couldn’t ignore—nor was I indifferent to—his plight. Ravik was making a huge concession. He clearly wanted to prolong his ‘protection’ by more days than the two he’d requested.
Defeated, I gave him a baleful glare. “Fine. Now what am I supposed to be doing for the next two days?” I grumbled.
Ravik’s expression softened, and a smile stretched his lips. “Actually, before you jumped on me when I arrived—”
He chuckled at my warning look.
“—I’d planned on asking if you wanted to come see the racers. We could even take them out for a ride. They’re smaller than the battle karvelis, so you’d have no problem riding one of your own.”
My jaw dropped, my eyes all but popping out of my head, all anger forgotten. “As in today?” I asked.
“More like as in right now,” Ravik said, a playful spark in his dark eyes replacing his earlier upset one. “Well, after I’m done changing,” he added, looking down at himself.
“Why aren’t you done changing then?” I asked.
Ravik chuckled. “On it, Mistress.”