by Ashley Erin
My voice shakes as fear sets in, I fight the bile that automatically builds at the thought of that man. “Thanks for losing him. He had been blowing up my phone two days ago, always demanding I tell him where Mom is. I just can’t change my number again. It never does any good anyways.” He gives me a squeeze as empathy fills his eyes. Dax may make some questionable decisions, but he has a big heart and always puts himself on the line for those he loves, meaning me.
Showing Dax his room, I hover in the door while he tosses things into the drawers of his dresser. Even though I can see him, part of me is worried he will disappear and it’s nice to have him here.
“Hey Nugget, can you please go grab my other bag from my bike? It’s just a small one with all my shaving stuff and toothbrush.”
“Sure Dax.”
Running down the stairs, I round the final corner and crash into someone. Damn. I’m really on a roll with running into doors, walls, people.
“Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry.” Pulling back, I look up into the brown eyes of the guy who was talking with Lucas in the gym. Freezing my face, I go to walk past him.
Nope, I don’t have time for this, he is not going to ruin my good mood.
A hand on my arm causes me to freeze before I yank it free. “Hey . . . I wanted to apologize for what happened in the gym. I was giving Lucas a hard time and I think you misinterpreted the situation. Lucas would never do what I was suggesting, that is why he was laughing. I thought you should know.” His expression is regretful and I fix my gaze on his, holding it as I search for the lie. The last couple of years with my dad taught me to read people’s expression and whether they are genuine or not.
He begins to squirm under my scrutiny, but doesn’t look away. He looks sincere so I nod and continue on my way without saying a word. I don’t really know what to do with that information, so I shove it away for the time being.
Running my hand along the seat of Dax’s motorcycle longingly, I hope I can convince him to take me for a spin. It’s every man’s wet dream to have this bike and every woman’s fantasy to ride on the back of it. Sighing, I grab the small bag and make my way back to my apartment.
As my hand grips the doorknob to my place, I look over my shoulder at Lucas’s. I hear two male voices laughing and joking. No man has intrigued me the way he does. He is a conundrum, my first impression is that he is an asshole and yet other actions have contradicted that. I mean, I really haven’t spent enough time with him to judge, but that’s never stopped me before. My body definitely finds him intriguing, my head not so much.
I wonder how it started with my father and mother, the horrible way he treated her. She had told me that right from the start he had shown hints of his true colors, but she never listened to her gut when she should have. This man that I have known for less than 24 hours, considering I stayed locked in my apartment since the incident in the gym, is making me second guess my entire way of being. That makes me uncomfortable and unwilling to trust him or myself in this situation. He has struck a chord and I don’t think I’m thinking clearly.
Slipping inside my place, I hear Dax yelling. I move into the living room where his colorful expressions of frustration is coming from to see he has set up his gaming systems. He is playing Call of Duty and yelling at his team. Without looking at me, he holds up a controller. Grinning, I flop onto the couch and take it from him.
I’ve become a stalker. Seriously, I’m pathetic. Every time I hear voices in the hall, I’m at my door. I hear that fine ass motorcycle start up, I’m at my window. That guy has been in her apartment for four days now and I’m a mess.
I’m pretty positive my man card has been permanently revoked and over a woman I’ve hardly spent any time with. What is it about her and that 60 minutes in her presence that has me so hung up?
I think she is a witch. What other explanation is there? School starts tomorrow and I have done nothing to prepare, the woman across the hall having put me in a slump that reminds me of some pathetic guy in the movies, love sick and alone. I must be under a spell.
Or maybe it’s because, unlike other women, she didn’t throw herself at me. That must be it. What man doesn’t appreciate women who make them work for it? And then to find out she is off limits, it is torture. I may not have been with a woman for four years, but that wasn’t without receiving offers. Is it sick that I like to be the one to say no? Probably.
It doesn’t matter. I don’t care, I shouldn’t care.
My head snaps up at the sound of Andie’s door opening.
“Heading to the gym, be back in an hour or so.” Her muffled voice carries through my door and I’m already in my room packing my gym bag. See . . . stalker.
I’m out my apartment and locking up when the door to her apartment opens again and there stands the guy. We size each other up and even I can admit the dude is good looking.
“Dax.” He reaches his fist out and I reluctantly bump mine against his.
“Lucas.” His eyes are shrewd and intense as he examines me. My feet have the urge to shift in place, but I resist, I’m not going to be shown up by him.
“So, you are my baby sister’s neighbor. I was kind of hoping you were a chick. I should have guessed when she wouldn’t talk about you that you weren’t.”
Laughing, “Nope, it’s just me. So how long are you visiting?” My relief is short-lived. Big brother . . . well, that will help keep me away . . . damn?
“I’ve actually enrolled. Figured it was time to catch up to my sis and make something of myself.” He looks at me closely, examining me with a critical eye. This man is smart and I’m not talking book smart. Although he could be that too. There is something hard about him that intimidates me, I definitely don’t want to get on his bad side.
Dax is close to the same height and build as me, but he has an edge about him and from the looks of him he would come out on top in a fight. “Want to come in and play Call of Duty?” I must have passed his initial assessment, still, I get the impression I have some sort of test to pass.
“Sure, just let me toss my bag back into my place.” He follows me in, assessing my space and part of me is grateful I have no valuables. He has a keen eye that makes me uneasy. This assessment is unwarranted and I feel like shit for thinking that, but I decide to tread carefully with this man.
“Ready?” I ask as I come out of my room. He is staring at my family photo.
“That your kid?” Gesturing to Noah, his eyes are hard. Ummm . . . weird reaction.
“No, that’s my nephew. Although his dead beat dad is useless so I’ve stepped up to help out. Our parents help out a lot too.” He nods, looks back at the photo and then leads the way into their apartment.
Andie’s perfume hits me in the gut as we settle onto the couch and start the game, this should be interesting.
Dropping my gym bag inside the door, I turn the corner and enter the living room while lifting my hoody over my head. I’m hot, sweaty and can’t wait to relax on the couch. I feel damn good, that powerful feeling of adrenaline from a good workout flowing through my veins. I’m strong and in control.
“Hey Nugget. How was the gym?” Dax’s voice is muffled by my hoody. I turn and toss it into the hallway towards our rooms.
“Awesome, I did back toda . . .” Freezing as I turn around and see two sets of eyes staring at me instead of just one.
Holy shit. I’m frozen in place, captive by the second person on the couch, eyes locked on his.
Lucas’s piercing blue eyes watch me and I self-consciously straighten my tank top and take a step back. Moving my gaze back to Dax, I narrow my eyes as he grins at me knowingly. What is he up to? Jerking my head towards my room, I spin on my heel and stalk away from him. Dax excuses himself with a chuckle, causing the mild irritation to turn into anger.
Looking out the window, I wait for him to close the door.
“What are you playing at?” The words come out as a hiss so Lucas can’t overhear me. “Are you conning him? Are you using h
im? What is the scoop? I have five years at this school, I don’t need any trouble.” Hurt flashes through Dax’s eyes, but I’m not sure in this moment if it’s real or fake.
“Nugget, I just thought it might be nice to get to know the neighbor. Make some ‘healthy’ friends. Wasn’t that your suggestion the last time I saw you, to try making new, different kinds of friends? This is me taking your advice.” Eyeing him skeptically, I sigh and nod. The anger disintegrates as Dax smiles at me, damn him and his charm. Apparently I’m going to need to get accustomed to seeing Lucas more now that my brother has decided to be friends with him.
“Oh. Okay. I’m sorry Dax, I know I’m not being fair. It’s just . . .”
“You’ve heard it before. I know. It’s okay, I have to prove myself.”
Dax leaves me and I hear the game start up again. I’m not quite ready to face Lucas looking too damn good on my couch, so I creep across the hall and to take a shower. I’m standing under the hot water when I realize I forgot my clothes in my room. Banging my forehead into the wall, I groan in mortification. This day started off so well too. My workout was amazing and I had finally stopped thinking about the stupid asshole across the hall who has taken up far too many of my thoughts.
Wrapping myself in a towel, I dry my hair and examine myself in the mirror. The young woman staring back at me has seen too much and I hate the hardness in the eyes looking back at me. Maybe I need to talk to someone again, little good it has done in the past, but isn’t that why I want to become a school counsellor? To help change lives of children going through what I went through. I don’t want to be this person. Guarded. Stuck. Scared. Maybe, just maybe Dax has something to teach me and he is starting by inviting a tempting challenge into my life.
Not to mention, how can I help anyone when I’m still such a fucking mess? I need to be able to work with anyone and not categorize them in such a black and white manner.
Sighing, I run my hands down my face as I open the door and step out. Instead of my door across the hallway filling my vision, Lucas stands before me in a tight blue t-shirt. We are less than a foot apart, if I lifted my hands they would brush against his chest. Breathing in deeply to settle the pounding of my heart, I almost gasp as his soft cologne and a hint of sweat stirs up butterflies in my stomach. He has this magnetism, a power that draws me in and I don’t like how vulnerable I feel.
Lucas clears his throat as his eyes scan over my body and I remember I’m only in a towel. Before he can say anything, I bolt around him and slam my door.
“Pull yourself together. You are strong and you can do this. Think of him as you would Trenton.” Giggling at the comparison between Kensi’s scrawny brother and Lucas, my heart slows and the flurry of butterflies settles back down.
“Nugget, we need a third player. Stop hiding and come join us.” Dax knows me too well. I throw on some sweats and a hoody, breathing deeply and gathering my wits before opening my bedroom door. Having Dax here should make things easier, I will just act normally. I can do that.
“Are you losing again?” Laughing as he mock glares at me, I follow him into the living while sending Kensi a text.
Me: We need to FaceTime later. I need my bestie . . .
Kensi: Uh oh. What’s up?
Me: It’s a guy.
Kensi: . . . Seriously? Yep, we will definitely be FaceTiming tonight.
Me: <3
Looking up from my phone when an X-Box controller is shoved in my face, I sigh and stick it in my pocket, taking the controller from an impatient Dax.
Dax and Lucas are on opposite sides of my small couch so I have no choice but to squeeze in between them. Heat shoots up my body as my entire left side rests against Lucas. There is no room to move over. I guess it’s going to be like that therapy we learned about. Exposure to whatever you fear to decrease sensitivity to that fear.
Oddly enough, I don’t really fear Lucas, more the reaction my body is having to him. It’s unsettling and unfamiliar.
I realize the guys are waiting for me to give the go ahead, so I nudge Dax.
“Ready for me to save your ass?”
We’ve been playing Call of Duty for several hours and Andie has seriously impressed me with her skills. She’s really competitive and yells at the screen just like Dax and I. Her gaming abilities and competitive nature have made her even more appealing to me.
The more time I spend with her, the reasons for staying away from her and the reality of my responsibilities fade away. Her body heat warms my side and her scent envelops me. The ease at which I feel with her surprises me, I’ve never felt this way around any woman. Sitting here next to her, I make the decision to try to get to know her.
Attempting to ignore whatever the hell is going on inside is clearly not working. Maybe I can try the dating thing again . . . Er well¸ actually for the first time ever. My previous relationships have been physical only, but it’s more than the physical that intrigues me with her.
I’m getting ahead of myself, who knows if she is over hating me yet, let alone even interested.
“Move fucker move!” Andie yelling at the screen interrupts my musings. Dax and I look at each other over her head and start laughing.
“Shut the fuck up assholes, if it wasn’t for me you would be getting creamed.” She’s not completely wrong. Andie is shockingly good at playing this game.
“I need to get some air.” Dax stands and stretches. When I go to get up he holds his hand out. “Don’t leave! We’re on a roll, I’m going to go and get some pizza. You practice trying to kick Andie’s ass. We’re going to see if we can beat her at this tonight, switch it up and play some versus.”
“Yeah, good luck with that. You’ve been trying to kick my ass at video games for years without success.” Dax just laughs as he shoves his feet into his shoes.
Settling back in, I’m surprisingly nervous to hang out with Andie alone. She has actually smiled at me a couple of times, but every time I smiled back she would quickly look away from me. Something makes her skittish around me and I really want to know what it is. Based off what Dax said in my apartment, I wonder if it’s all guys.
Andie scoots over to fill the spot Dax has vacated, pausing the game and looks at me. Her beautiful hazel eyes are leery and she bites her lower lip. My eyes focus on her lips and I swallow hard at how attracted I am to her.
“Do you want something to drink?” She jumps up and heads into the kitchen. She calls out different things they have, but her voice is so muffled I can’t hear anything. Pushing myself off the couch, I follow her into the kitchen.
“ . . . Coca Cola.” She turns around as she finishes listing off the contents of her fridge and jumps when she sees that I’m right behind her. Cocking my head at her, I try to figure out why someone who has mastered an epic glare and bad ass vibe would be so jumpy. She doesn’t look fearful, so maybe . . .
“I missed everything you said until Coca Cola.” I lean around her and peer into the fridge, reaching in I brush my arm against her stomach and stifle a grin when she shivers, her stomach clenching on a silent gasp. Good, it’s not just me.
Grabbing a bottle of water, I straighten to my full height and close the door. She is so small compared to me and as she fiddles with the cap of the bottle of water in her hand, the urge to pull her in my arms is almost overwhelming. She smells so good, hair looks so soft . . . I want to wrap my hand in it and hold her close. Quickly unscrewing the cap of my water, I take a deep drink while watching her stare at her feet, her long lashes fanning her high cheekbones.
“You don’t say much, do you?” The silence is killing me and I decide right then and there to try to break down at least one of her barriers today. If I’m anything, it’s determined. Mostly that translates into working hard at school and helping my family. Never before has a woman made me want to work the way she has.
She shrugs and lifts her head, a slight grin gracing her face. “Dax would disagree.” A soft chuckle flows out of her, low and intoxicating. Swallo
wing, I shift my legs to accommodate the arousal that sound causes.
“Listen, I wanted to apologize for Dean the other day. I know you overheard and I . . .”
“Forget about it, he talked to me in the hall.” Her tone of voice shifted, hardened slightly, but I’m not going to be a pussy and quit trying, sucking in a breath, I make another attempt.
“Oh. Okay, cool . . . so . . . neighbor. Other than knowing you hit the gym and play Call of Duty like a bad ass, what else is there to know about you?” God I’m so awkward. Talking to girls has never been an issue for me, it may sound cocky but I’m damn smooth, this is uncomfortable. I don’t like feeling like an idiot, but I can’t seem to help myself with her. She is a mystery that I need to solve. Andie eyes me warily and chews on her lower lip. She hasn’t taken any steps back to distance herself from me, that’s a good sign right?
Andie blows out a breath of air that seems to come straight from her stomach, like I am asking her to tell me her deepest darkest secret.
“I transferred here from Springbrook College. I’m an education major, but will be completing my Master’s in Educational Psychology so I can be a school counselor. I’ve always wanted a cat but never had one.” Shock fills me that she actually told me SOMETHING. Her voice is like honey, smooth and soft. I adore the fact she talks in a normal tone and not in that irritating baby voice so many girls our age have decided is sexy.
“I may not be an expert . . . but doesn’t conversation usually go two ways?” Andie being sarcastic with me fills my chest with pride as I laugh at her remark. I’m getting somewhere.
“I’m also an education major, but my focus is on Physical Education. I grew up on a farm with lots of animals. My parents still live there as does my sister and nephew.”