by Claire Allan
‘As you know, the area’s secure, so he wasn’t able to take her, but he did talk to her through the railings. One of our assistants saw what was happening and ran over, but the man made off. Molly’s become very distressed. She won’t tell us what he said, but she’s been crying for you since. We’ve tried to calm her down …’
‘I’ll be there as soon as I can,’ I said, hanging up and lifting my bag.
My baby … Not my baby!
Chapter Thirty-Three
Rachel
Constable King agreed to drive me to the crèche. She’d been made aware of the call from the nursery staff and was also only too aware of the state I was in. If I thought running there would have got me there quicker, I’d have run. I’d have done anything to get to my daughter as soon as was humanly possible.
Who had been at her daycare? Why had they called her over? Did they know her name? All these thoughts, all these questions ran through my head and I didn’t know the answers. I just wanted to get to her, to soothe her and to make her safe. To keep her safe. Anyone who wanted could come after me, but to come after my child? My innocent little girl. Was it the person behind the flowers? The person who’d killed Clare? Was it not bad enough that they were coming after me? Why did they have to come after my baby, too?
‘Try to stay calm,’ Constable King said. ‘I know that’s very hard right now, but the main thing is that she’s safe and we’ll be with her soon.’
I nodded, a tear sliding down my cheek. My heart was beating so fast I was sure I’d be sick again.
My mind jumped to Beth, at home alone. Panicked, I told Constable King, who said she’d send a car around there to be sure everything was okay. I called Beth’s number, listened as it rang out. I swore. She’d been told to keep her phone with her at all times. She knew I was worried. I called her number again and listened to it ring out, go to voicemail.
‘Beth, where are you?’ I shouted into the phone. ‘Call me as soon as you get this. Straight away! The police are on their way round to the house now. Let them in. Beth, please, call me back.’
I hung up, stared at my phone, felt my worry rise. My girls. I called Beth’s number again and again, until I could feel tears falling down my cheeks. I tried the landline, but she didn’t answer that either. My family was being ripped apart. My husband had been lying. My eldest child wouldn’t answer her phone and my baby was terrified. And me? I could hardly breathe.
‘Why won’t she answer?’ I wailed.
‘Take a deep breath, Rachel. Constable Black will be at your house any minute now and he’ll be able to check on Beth.’
‘Just let her be okay,’ I said.
We pulled into the car park of the daycare centre where Molly was and I don’t think Constable King had even put the handbrake on before I’d jumped out of the car and was running towards the entrance.
‘Rachel!’ she called to me. ‘You don’t want to run in there like that. You need to be calm for her. If she sees you upset, you’ll only scare her more.’
That stopped me in my tracks. She was right, of course. I had to act the part of being calm and in control and hope that Molly wouldn’t hear how hard my heart was beating or hear the tremor in my voice.
Constable King put her hand on my arm, her touch soothing me. ‘Steady yourself. Take a deep breath,’ she urged and I did.
She reached out and pressed the buzzer to gain entry to the centre.
My daughter’s caregiver, a softly spoken woman called Marie, who seemed to exist in floaty skirts, voluminous tunics and chunky necklaces, answered within seconds.
‘She’s through in the quiet area,’ she said. ‘We’ve managed to calm her a little and she’s reading a story now with Catherine. I’m so sorry that we didn’t see her toddle off to the fencing. She can’t have been there long. She’d been playing in the sandpit just minutes before.’
‘Did your staff get a good look at him? Or do you have CCTV that might have captured his image?’ Constable King asked.
‘He was wearing a jacket, a hoodie, with the hood pulled up. Shorts, white trainers. His face was obscured. There’s CCTV capturing the front of the building but none on that side. We can have a look and see,’ Marie said.
‘But can I please just see Molly now?’ I asked.
Surely there would be time for all this after I’d seen my daughter? She was my priority. And Beth. I looked at my phone. She hadn’t called back. Constable Black would be there now, but he hadn’t called yet, either. Hadn’t radioed to say she was fine. But I knew Molly was just metres away, and I needed to see her and hold her.
‘We’ve tried to keep what happened from the other children,’ Marie said, ‘so we’ve moved them into the art room so they don’t get upset. We’ll go through this way.’
She led me through the playroom – toys scattered on the floor, abandoned doll’s prams and trucks – until we reached the small reading room, softly lit, with beanbags and cushions all over the floor. Molly was sitting there cuddled into the nursery assistant, her eyes transfixed on the book that was being read to her, her thumb in her mouth. She looked so small.
‘Molly?’ I said softly.
She blinked and looked up at me, her bottom lip starting to tremble.
‘Mammy!’ she said. ‘The bad man said he was going to take you away.’
‘No one’s going to take me away, darling,’ I said, walking towards her and pulling her into a big hug.
She sobbed into my shoulder.
‘He said I wouldn’t ever, ever, ever see you again, Mammy.’
‘I’m here, baby,’ I soothed. ‘I’m here and no one’s ever going to take me away from you.’
‘Molly?’ I heard a voice behind me. ‘Did the man call you by your name?’
Molly raised her head and looked up to see Constable King standing in the doorway. At the sight of the police officer, she curled her body into mine.
‘Mammy, why’s the police here?’
‘They’re going to help catch the bad man and stop him from scaring any more children,’ I said. ‘You remember this lady, don’t you? She played My Little Ponies with you. Her name’s Eve.’
Molly eyed her suspiciously, but Constable King got down on her knees close to us so that she was on Molly’s level.
‘You can help me to catch the bad man and you’ll be a real hero,’ she said. ‘Like Wonder Woman.’
‘He called me Molly!’ she said, mimicking how he’d called her. ‘He said he knewed my mammy was called Rachel and he said she was a bad lady.’ Molly looked at me, her gaze low as if she was scared I’d be cross at what the man had said. ‘He said to tell my mammy she was in big trouble and he was going to take her away.’
‘Well, we’re not going to let him do that,’ Constable King said.
Her phone rang and I jumped. She nodded at me when she looked at the screen and then made her way outside to answer it. I felt torn between being there for Molly, who so clearly, desperately needed me, and also wanting to know if Beth was safe.
I was so angry with myself for leaving her alone in the first place. I shouldn’t have. How stupid could I be? But then again, I’d thought Molly was perfectly safe at daycare. Molly was clinging onto me for dear life.
‘He knewed my name, Mammy. I told him that I wasn’t aposed to speak to strangers, but he said he wasn’t a stranger. I even asked him for the secret special password.’
Her voice was shaking. Her little hands clinging tightly to my top. She was only three, for goodness’ sake. Still a month away from her fourth birthday. I’d given her the password, never thinking we’d need to use it. It was only supposed to be a precaution in case anyone told her that Paul or I had sent them to get her. It was a silly word. Jellybean. One that made us laugh.
‘He got it wrong, Mammy.’
‘What did he say, sweetheart?’ I asked, smoothing her hair and hugging her close.
‘Forget me not,’ she said and started to cry. ‘I want to forget him. He’s a scary man.’
I pulled Molly as close to me as I could. This wasn’t someone playing some sort of silly game. This was someone trying to scare me. This was someone who’d scared my child. My poor, innocent baby. This was someone twisted and I didn’t know what I’d done to bring it all on us. What had Clare done? What had Julie done? My husband? And that woman who’d found Clare?
It all raced through my mind as I rocked my child in my arms and looked at the door, anxiously waiting for Constable King to let me know if Beth was okay. I felt so disorientated by it all. Then there was Paul and his secret meetings. The scratches. But it clearly wasn’t Paul who’d visited Molly’s nursery. There was someone else. A scary man.
The door opened and Constable King walked back in. I tried to read her face for some clue. She crouched down beside Molly and me and started to speak.
‘First of all, Beth’s fine. Constable Black’s with her now and he’ll stay with her until we get back. Perhaps if Molly can sit with her teacher for just a moment, we can have a chat outside.’
Molly held onto me tighter. I don’t think she had any desire to let go.
‘Sweetheart, if you sit with Catherine she’ll read you more of your story and I’ll just be outside the door. You can see me through the little window.’
‘But what if you don’t come back like the scary man said?’
‘Molly, all my friends in the police are going to be looking for the silly, scary man right now. He’s not going to get anywhere near you or your mum again. If he even tries, we’ll take him straight to jail,’ Constable King said.
Molly blinked, the blue of her eyes even brighter as her tears fell.
‘Is that true, Mammy?’
‘It is, pet.’
She sniffed and toddled over to Catherine, who started reading the book again.
I got to my feet, my legs shaky and my head spinning, and followed Constable King out of the room.
‘The man, he told Molly “forget me not” – he’s linked to those flowers,’ I told her.
‘If you don’t mind, we’ll get one of our team experienced in working with children to have a good talk to Molly about it. Try and get as many details as possible.’
‘Of course,’ I said. ‘And Beth?’
‘As I said, she’s okay, but she did have a scare. Someone tried to break into your house, it seems. She heard someone rattling the back door and then the front. She was so scared she hid in the bathroom. When our team arrived to fit the alarms, whoever it was ran off, but not before he’d managed to smash a hole in your French doors.’
I didn’t think I could take any more panic, any more worry. Everything was so completely out of control. I was dizzy trying to think about it all.
‘I don’t understand any of this,’ I said, feeling my legs give way.
I sat on one of the small chairs in the playroom and tried to steady my breathing.
‘We’re doing our best to get to the bottom of it,’ Constable King said, but she looked as confused as I was.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Rachel
We were travelling back home in the police car with Constable King when my phone rang and I saw Paul’s name flash up on screen. I didn’t want to answer. I didn’t know what I could possibly say to him at that time. How I could be civil to him.
I was tempted to let the call go to voicemail, but I knew, for all his faults, he would worry if he couldn’t get a hold of us. I was angry, but I wasn’t cruel.
He had a right to know that his daughters had been in danger and that the threat I had warned him about was real.
I answered the call, could hear that he was driving – the hum of traffic in the background giving it away. I spoke first, trying my best to keep my voice steady. I didn’t want to alarm Molly more than necessary.
‘Paul, some things have happened here today. I don’t want you to hear it from someone else.’
‘I’m driving home now. I’ve had a call from the police. They want to see me. Is that what you’re talking about, because I swear Rachel, I’ve no idea what’s going on or what they would want to speak to me about.’
I bit my tongue. I wouldn’t tell him where I had been, or about the images I’d seen of him with Clare. That was not a conversation I’d have within earshot of our daughter, never mind a police officer. ‘There was an incident at Molly’s daycare,’ I said. ‘A man approached her. She was behind the railings and he didn’t touch her but he gave her a real fright.’
I heard a deep intake of breath. ‘What did he do? Who was he?’
Paul sounded angry, scared, protective.
‘She’s here with me now,’ I said, ‘in a police car. The police are going to help catch him.’ I spoke in my best sing-song, child-friendly voice, hoping Paul would realise I wasn’t free to tell him all the details. ‘There was an incident at home, too, with Beth.’
‘I knew you shouldn’t have left her alone,’ he said before swearing. ‘Is she okay?’
I ignored the dig, fought the urge to scream at him that he had left her too. It wasn’t all on my shoulders, and from what I had seen earlier there was every chance he was more involved in all of this than I ever thought possible. I took a deep breath.
‘I’m on my way home now. The police are with her and she’s fine, but she got a bit of a fright, too.’
‘I’ll be home myself in about an hour. I’ll come and see you all before I go to any police station. Whatever the police want, it can’t be that urgent. I think they just like to mess people around.’
I felt myself tremble. Emotion itching to burst out of me. Fear and love. Betrayal and guilt. From what I knew, it was Paul who had been messing people around.
‘Give the girls a big hug from me,’ he said, cutting through my thoughts, his own voice thick with emotion. ‘Tell them I love them.’
I couldn’t speak. I just nodded at the phone, as if that were any good to him, and hung up.
‘Is Daddy coming home?’ Molly asked, her eyes bright.
‘He is, darling. And the first thing he wants is a giant hug from you.’
If Constable King thought anything of my husband not going straight to the police station, she said nothing and simply kept her eyes on the road ahead.
Beth sat cowed on the sofa, cradling a mug of tea. Her eyes were red from crying. It was the first thing I noticed. She looked up at me when I walked into the room and her face crumpled.
‘I’m sorry, Mum,’ she said. ‘I just ran into the bathroom and locked the door when I heard someone at the back of the house. I didn’t lift my phone. I could hear it ringing, but I was too afraid to go and get it.’
‘You’ve nothing to be sorry for,’ I said, sitting down beside her.
‘I was so scared,’ she said, sobbing into my shoulder.
‘Was the bad man here, too?’ I heard Molly ask, her eyes wide.
Beth looked at her sister and then at me.
‘What does she mean?’
Molly pulled herself up on the armchair and grabbed her favourite pony, which she hugged close to her.
‘A bad man came to my school and said he was going to hurt Mammy and take her away.’
‘Mum?’ Beth said, her lip wobbling again. ‘Is that true?’
I nodded. ‘But, Beth, the police are looking into it all. Look at how many officers are here now. And they’re putting in alarms for us. They’re going to make sure I’m safe – that we’re all safe.’
I saw the doubt in her eyes and it almost broke me. It was my job to make my children’s world safe and this wasn’t even close.
‘Rachel, could we have a chat with you in the kitchen?’ Constable King asked. ‘The girls’ll be fine here with Constable Black, won’t you, girls?’
Both nodded but neither looked convinced.
‘I won’t be long,’ I said to them.
My head now pounding, I walked into the kitchen. The sight of the French doors, one smashed at handle-height, broken glass lying on the tiled floor, made my heart sink.
‘They clearly got scared away,’ Constable King said. ‘But whoever it was left something. You might want to sit down, Rachel. You’re very pale as it is.’
‘What is it?’ I asked, placing one hand on the back of a kitchen chair to steady myself. What other bombshells could possibly be dropped today? ‘Just show me.’
She handed me a photograph, old and faded. Not unlike the ones I’d been looking at in my photo album just the night before. The uniforms we were wearing weren’t the first things I noticed, though, nor the background of the school we’d attended. What was most notable was that there were four of us in the photo, not three. The fourth person, standing on the outside of our group, her smile not as bright as ours, was unmistakably Laura.
One of the faces in the picture, Clare’s, had been scored out. Scored out so deeply that the pen had broken through the photographic paper, leaving a hole where her face should have been. Red biro circled both my face and Julie’s. The words ‘Yr Next’ were scrawled under my name.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Elizabeth
My heart was full by the time the children went home. I could almost forget all the nastiness of the last few days. When I’d been with them, I’d allowed myself to become immersed fully in their worlds. I’d listened to them talk about their schoolwork. Their hopes for the summer. Their badgering of their poor father to get them a dog just like Izzy to play with. They’d invited me into their lives, sharing every little detail with such enthusiasm that I swear I’d felt so much lighter, both physically and emotionally, just for having seen them.
As we’d played together in the yard, the hot sun beating down on us, their laughter ringing in my ears, I could almost remember what it had been like years before, when the sound of my own children’s laughter rang through this old farmhouse in the Seventies and Eighties.
Maybe that was part of the reason the house was falling apart around us now. Just like me, it had been sustained by laughter and love, but there was little of that left in either of us these days.