by Janice Lynn
Wherein lay her answer.
Wanting him to stay wasn’t what she needed to feel. Only she wasn’t sure she could not feel that and so much more where Justin was involved.
She needed to be careful or she was going to end up hurt.
* * *
Riley wondered how Justin would be at the hospital the next time she saw him. Would he make a big deal over the fact they’d spent the weekend together or would he pretend it had never happened?
Good was her answer. He was good. Great, even.
Without saying anything untoward, he let her know with his smile, his wink, that he wanted to say more but would take his cue from her and wouldn’t push it.
Even now, in the midst of repairing a torn medial meniscus, his gaze would connect with hers every so often, and in those brief moments she knew he was smiling beneath his surgical mask.
“Scalpel,” he said, and the surgical assistant handed him the instrument.
The surgery went without any issues. And when they were finished Justin winked, then left the operating room.
The crew cleaned up the suite, then moved on to prepare for their next surgery—a knee being replaced by another orthopedic surgeon.
* * *
Two weeks passed, and with each day Riley found herself depending more and more upon the calls and texts she had from Justin.
And the time she spent with him.
Her brain kept screaming for her to put a halt to whatever was happening between them, but her lips could never sever their ties.
Tonight he’d invited her to the movies with the kids, showing up in a large SUV so they could go to pick up each boy.
Besides Stephen, six of the other boys planned to go. Four were currently with foster parents, including Kyle, and the two others were with their birth parents.
One birth mother seemed to have gotten her act together—was holding down a job and living with family members.
The other... Well, Riley knew she was going to struggle to drop Jevon back at the junked-up little house where several other people besides he and his birth mother were living. It wouldn’t be so bad, but two of the men living there had given Riley the creeps, and she was pretty sure they’d been carrying out a drug deal when Justin had pulled the van into a driveway crowded with vehicles.
Stan and his wife met them at the movie theater. Riley found her to be every bit as nice as her husband and liked her at once.
Justin bought hot dogs, popcorn, and drinks for everyone, and when they were settled into a row he and Riley sat at one end and Stan and his wife at the other, with all seven boys in the middle.
Riley leaned over and whispered, “You’re a really nice guy, Justin Brothers.”
“You only just now figuring that out?” He grinned.
“I’m a slow learner.”
“I don’t buy that—which means I’m not nearly as nice as you think.”
“Probably not, but what you’re doing for these boys is wonderful.” Riley glanced at Kyle, who’d insisted upon sitting next to her, then back at Justin. “I hate that he’s upset I didn’t bring Daisy,” she whispered. “I had to remind him multiple times that pets aren’t allowed in the movie theater complex.”
Justin chuckled. “I’ll plan something soon that Daisy can attend.”
“Or maybe I can bring Daisy to visit him.” She frowned. “Is that allowed? For me to visit the boys?”
“It shouldn’t be a problem. I can talk with his foster parents and set up something.”
“I’d like that,” she said, and meant it.
“They’ll likely want me there, too, until they get to know you.”
“Shh!” someone hissed from behind them.
Riley’s face heated.
Justin laughed and gave an uh-oh look.
She turned back to the movie, intent on watching the space story and not being one of “those” people who talked all through a movie.
When Kyle reached over and grabbed her hand, lacing his smaller fingers with hers, Riley wanted to hug him for the sweet gesture.
When Justin took her other hand she smiled, but wasn’t sure if she wanted to hug him too or pull her hand away. Not because she didn’t want to hold his hand, but because of the heat zapping from his body to hers at the skin-to-skin contact.
Justin holding her hand made her heart pound. Her stomach twist. Made her want to hug him with nothing between their bodies. Made her very aware of how very domestic they appeared, with her in between Justin and Kyle.
She shouldn’t be doing this. So why was she?
Grimacing at her thoughts, she stared at the movie screen but could no longer concentrate on the alien life forms trying to take over the earth.
An alien life form was trying to take her over.
Or it sure felt that way.
She cut her gaze to Justin.
Popping a piece of popcorn into his mouth with his free hand, he was watching the movie with great interest. As if his holding her hand was no big deal and was not affecting him in the slightest.
At least one of them was enjoying the film.
Then, without looking toward her, he squeezed her hand, letting her know he was aware of her watching him. Maybe he was even aware of what was happening inside her, because his hand held hers a little tighter.
After the movie, they dropped the kids off at their respective homes. Jevon was their last passenger, and Riley’s stomach knotted more the closer they got to where they’d drop him off.
The boy had moved to the front row of seats in the SUV, preventing Riley from voicing her concerns about bringing him back home to Justin.
Fortunately, when they got to Jevon’s, although there were still several cars in the driveway, there was no sight of the creepy men. Justin walked Jevon to the front door, keeping his hand on the boy’s shoulder while he talked for a few minutes to a harried-looking pregnant woman, with a baby on her hip and another tugging at her shirt-hem.
Riley couldn’t hear what was being said, but saw the woman nodding a lot, then hugging Justin after he handed her something. Money, most likely.
How could Riley not like a man who did such good? Sure, he’d break her heart if she let him, but the man was one of the kindest people she’d ever met.
When he pulled the SUV into her driveway Riley didn’t hesitate, and nor did she question whether Justin would follow suit.
No one was at the house, so they let Daisy out into the backyard. Following the dog, Justin headed toward the bench where they’d spent hours beneath the eucalyptus tree and the fairy lights.
Riley hesitated, and then, heart pounding, asked, “Want to lie on the hammock with me for a while?”
“Absolutely. I’ve been waiting for you to invite me.”
They’d spent several evenings in her backyard, but for whatever reason she hadn’t asked him onto the hammock. Tonight she didn’t turn on the fairy lights, opting for the twinkling stars and lying in the hammock. With Justin. Large tree limbs would partially block their view, but there would be plenty of sky shining through to gaze upon.
“You first,” she told him when they reached the hammock, thinking it would be easier for her to get in if he was already there.
Justin climbed into the hammock, took Daisy from her, then patted the space beside him. “Your turn.”
Being careful not to flip him out, Riley got into the hammock and snuggled next to him. She became instantly alert at the feeling of her body against his. Over the past couple of weeks he’d held her hand, kissed her hand, even her forehead, but he’d never kissed her lips or pressed his body to hers.
She wasn’t sure why. Part of her appreciated it that he hadn’t pushed. Another part—well, that other part was sorely disappointed and tonight seemed to be taking charge.
Although usually the eucalyptus filled her sen
ses, Justin overpowered everything, with his long lean body, his spicy scent, his warmth...
“This is nice.” He laced his hand with hers.
“It’s one of my favorite places to be,” she admitted, wondering if she meant in the hammock or his arms.
“In my arms?”
Had he read her mind? “In the hammock,” she assured him, but wasn’t positive she’d told the complete truth.
Which was a little scary.
A lot scary.
There was a light breeze that put the slightest chill in the air, making the warmth of his body next to hers more appealing, and she wrapped her arm around his waist, holding him tight, pretending she didn’t notice the way his abs contracted beneath her fingers.
“Cold?”
Not really, but after moving nearer what could she say? That she was trying to get closer even though their bodies were already pressed side by side?
“I can go inside and get that quilt you keep on the back of the sofa if you want me to,” he offered.
“I’m fine,” she assured him, her fingers tracing a pattern over his stomach.
“Tell me about that quilt. It looks old.”
Did he really want to talk? Because she didn’t.
“It is old. It was my mother’s. Her grandmother made it for her.”
“You’ve mentioned your mother before—that she gave you the necklace you lost. I’ve noticed the photo you have of the two of you in your living area. What about your dad?”
Now she really didn’t want to talk.
“What about him?”
“What does he do? Where does he live? Why are there no photos of him?”
Riley fought the stiffening of her muscles and the urge to tell Justin to mind his own business. “I don’t know, I don’t know, and he left when I was four. Any photos that existed of him were gone long before I was old enough to know what they were.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be. I had a great mother and a great childhood. She worked hard. We were poor. But we never went hungry or without love. I feel blessed. It could have been so much worse—like with the boys in your Wilderness Club.”
“I’m glad your mom was able to take good care of you.” He paused. “What happened to her?”
Riley didn’t feel like talking about her mother or the past, but she answered him. “She passed in an automobile accident, not long after I graduated from university.”
“I’m sorry, Riley. She sounds like she was a great lady.”
“She was. She’d have liked you.”
She’d have adored him. Kindhearted, smart, handsome—what more could a mother hope for, for her daughter?
“Oh? Tell me more.”
“She liked handsome men who talked a good game.”
He strained his neck the better to look at her. “You think I’m handsome?”
She rolled her eyes. “You know you are, Justin.”
“How would I know that?”
“A mirror?”
He laughed. “I don’t think much about the way I look.”
“Beautiful people usually don’t.”
“I’d argue with that. Some of the most beautiful women I know obsess about how they look. They pick themselves apart, seeing flaws where none exist.”
“A lot of not so beautiful people do that as well.”
“We do tend to be our own worst critics. Usually because someone has torn down our belief in ourselves.”
She considered his comment and couldn’t argue. Hadn’t she been a wreck after the end of her involvement with Johnny?
“For the record, you have no need to pick anything. You’re perfect as you are,” he said.
“You’re saying that because you want to date me?” she ventured.
He shook his head. “Because I am dating you.”
* * *
Justin felt Riley stiffen in his arms and wondered if he should have kept his thoughts to himself. They’d had such a great time, the last thing he wanted was to put her on guard.
“Are we dating?” Riley asked.
Choosing his words carefully, he took her hand into his. “Yes, Riley, we are dating.”
She lay in his arms for a long time, not saying anything, just holding his hand and breathing softly as they swung in the hammock.
“I never meant for that to happen.”
“I did.”
She didn’t look at him, just stared upward at the sky peeking through the tree limbs. “But you’ve barely touched me the past few weeks and you sure haven’t tried to have sex with me.”
Her words were a mix of breathiness and accusation. He hugged her closer to him, wanting to calm the demons that made her doubt herself. “Not because I haven’t wanted to touch you or have sex with you. Believe me, I have.”
“Do you think you’ll still want to date me after we have sex again?”
The uncertainty in her voice had him turning onto his side to face her. “Do you think I won’t? Because that’s a pretty easy theory to disprove.”
“By our having sex?”
“Obviously.”
“Is that a proposition?”
“Is it working?”
“No.”
“Then I need to try harder.”
With that, Justin rolled so that his body covered hers. He supported his weight on his elbows and stared down at her, giving her a minute to tell him to get off her if that was what she wanted.
Instead, eyes wide, she smiled up at him. “I don’t know how you did that without toppling us out of the hammock, but I’m impressed.”
“You only just now figuring out I have skills?” he teased, waggling his brows and trying to remind himself to take things slow. Easier thought than done, with his body stretched out over Riley’s.
Daisy jumped down from the hammock.
“Hmm...” Her gaze lowered to his mouth. “I don’t think Daisy was nearly so impressed.”
Fighting the urge to flex his hips more fully against her, Justin replied, “Daisy needs to learn who’s boss.”
Riley’s gaze lingered on his mouth. She had to feel his reaction, had to know how she was affecting him.
“I suppose you think you’re an expert at teaching females you’re the boss?”
What he thought was that Riley was an expert at shooting his temperature through the roof.
“She’s a good dog...just needs the right encouragement.”
“What did you give my dog?”
He grinned down at her. “The right encouragement.”
“You’re good at that, aren’t you?”
“Giving the right encouragement?” he asked, knowing they were no longer discussing her dog.
“Getting females to do what you want them to do.”
Riley lay still beneath him on the hammock. Their bodies were pressed together and he was propped up on his elbows so he could see her face. Good thing, otherwise he’d have missed the swirling emotions in her eyes. Emotions that conveyed the way he affected her, making her want to draw nearer and back away at the same time. He’d been patient, given her space, but maybe she needed the right encouragement too.
“Maybe. Let’s see,” he told her, his voice low, husky.
His gaze went to her lips, then back to her beautiful eyes. He wanted her to kiss him. He waited, wondering if she’d hold out for him to make the first move, or perhaps push him away. She stared at him, clearly warring with the voices in her head, then seemed to come to a conclusion—a good conclusion.
She wrapped her arms around his neck to cradle his head and she arched up from the hammock to kiss him.
Her mouth was warm against his...soft. Sweet. Promising so much more than a quick peck. Making him want to forget patience and take control.
But he wouldn’t.
Riley needed to do this—to be the one in control as her mouth explored his.
Her fingers curled into his hair, cradling him, holding him close as their kiss deepened.
When she lay back she stared up at him, with wide eyes and plump lips. He’d never seen anything more beautiful than the sight of her beneath him, staring up at him in awe.
“Thank you,” he whispered, bending to kiss the tip of her nose. He let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, in the fear that she’d tell him to leave. “Thank you for kissing me, Riley.”
“You’re welcome.”
Her gaze met his, darkened with what he could only describe as passion.
“Do you want me to kiss you again?” she asked.
Was that a trick question?
“More than anything,” he said.
Riley kissed him again and again.
* * *
Justin was the best man Riley had ever known. In so many ways. Kind, patient, tender... Even now, when she could feel how tense his body was, how every sinew was strained tight, his lips were gentle against hers, as if she was fragile and must be handled with care.
Perhaps she was.
Not physically, but emotionally.
“What I’m about to do may not work, and you may not forgive me,” he warned.
Before she could do much more than register what he’d said, much less wonder what he planned, Riley gasped as Justin rolled them so he was on the bottom and she lay across him.
“I’ve no idea how you did that without us falling out,” she admitted, holding on to his shoulders as if she thought they might still topple.
“That was the part you might not have forgiven. If we’d ended up on the ground because of my miscalculation.”
“You calculated well.”
“Apparently,” he agreed. “As I have you against me.”
“It’s where I want to be,” she admitted, wrapping her arms around his neck.
“Riley...” he groaned, his body contracting beneath hers, his hips arching upward.