by Janice Lynn
“I didn’t do anything wrong,” she defended, although she wasn’t sure she was telling the truth.
“You didn’t do anything right or he’d still be here.”
“Well, if that isn’t the pot calling the kettle black!” she shot at her friend.
“You’re right. I’m calling Sam.” Cassie pulled her cell from her pocket and punched in Sam’s number. Scooting into a sitting position, she got up, then hobbled toward the house. When she reached the back door, she gave Riley a pointed look, then said into the phone, “Hey, baby, I miss you...”
No doubt her friend would make up with Sam and they’d act as if nothing happened. Until the next time.
“That’s not the life for me,” she said aloud, causing Daisy to lift her head in question. “Who needs all that drama?”
Not that her relationship with Justin had been filled with drama. It hadn’t.
She thought Cassie was crazy, but she envied her friend that faith in Sam. What would it feel like to be that loved?
Exactly the way Justin loved you before you pushed him away.
Oh, how Riley hated that nagging voice in her head.
Justin hadn’t loved her. He’d—
Why had he even spent the last few months with her? There had to be easier relationships for him than one with a girl who was jaded about love and had been jilted at the altar, like her.
Yet he’d stuck by her, showered her with affection despite her struggling to give him any back outside of their physical relationship.
Why?
He could so easily have been done with her after she’d left that first night. Instead he’d reached out to her, nurtured their relationship, tried to make her feel safe.
But she’d been as prickly as a briar bush for fear of getting hurt. And ultimately she’d pushed him away. And hurt him. Hurt herself, too.
She closed her eyes. What had she done?
She needed to tell Justin that she missed him so much she felt as if she’d lost a part of herself. Not going out with him and the boys today had hurt so much.
Cassie’s description ran through her mind. She did feel that way about Justin. All those ways. She couldn’t imagine going through life without ever seeing him smile at her again, without hearing her name on his lips, without placing her hand over his heart and feeling the strong beat there. The beat that was for her.
Because Justin cared about her.
At least he had.
She had to go to him. She didn’t know what would happen, but she’d tell him she missed him, that she was sorry she’d shut him out for fear of getting hurt. Tell him that being without him hurt. She didn’t have a plan beyond that, but at least it was a start.
She’d only taken a few steps when she stopped.
Sitting in her driveway was Justin’s Jeep.
CHAPTER TWELVE
FOR THE MILLIONTH time Justin asked himself what he was doing in Riley’s driveway.
He hadn’t had to bring the necklace to her tonight. He could have just given it to her at work the following day. So why had he gotten dressed and driven straight to her house? Better yet, why had he been sitting in her driveway for the past five minutes?
There was enough glow coming from behind the house that he knew he’d find Riley out back. Was she lying on the hammock where they’d made love? Or was she perched beneath the fairy tree she loved so much?
Bark. Bark. Bark.
Justin glanced through the windshield, made out Riley’s outline in the dim light. Riley was there, holding Daisy, but bent to let the dog free. Daisy immediately took off toward him, yapping frantically and jumping up into the Jeep.
“Hey, girl,” he greeted her when Daisy leapt up into his lap and began licking his face. Despite his tension, Justin laughed. “Yeah, I missed you, too.”
He loved on the dog for a second, then took a deep breath as he glanced back toward where Riley had been standing.
She was gone.
Great. Had she gone into the house, or around back again? He’d wondered if she’d let him in, or if she’d take the necklace and then tell him to leave again. He had Daisy. She’d have to talk to him long enough to get her dog back, to hear him out as he told her what was in his heart.
“Okay, girl, let’s go talk to your mom and hope she’s as happy to see me as you are,” he said, before moving her from his lap to the passenger seat. “What are the odds she’ll greet me like you did? Jumping in my lap and licking my face would be one heck of an icebreaker.”
“Is that what you want?”
Shocked at the unexpected question, Justin glanced up. Riley stood near the driver’s side.
“Me to jump in your lap and lick your face?”
Stunned that she’d heard his comment, that he’d not known she was there and had said something so stupid, he scowled at Daisy. “Don’t you know you’re supposed to give me notice when someone walks up to the car?”
“Apparently she was too busy licking you to notice.”
“Apparently,” he agreed, taking in everything about Riley.
She wore a loose T-shirt and yoga pants. Her hair was up in a ponytail and not a speck of makeup covered her face.
“You’re beautiful,” he said.
Not exactly what he’d meant to say, but true.
“Thanks, but I’m still not doing a Daisy impersonation by jumping in your lap and licking your face.”
Justin stared at her, not quite able to believe that she was teasing him. Or that she hadn’t told him to leave. It was what he’d been expecting.
Maybe—just maybe—she’d listen to what he had to say. If he could find the right words, that was. He sure hadn’t during the time he’d been sitting in her driveway, wondering what he was going to say now that he was here.
“But I will hop in for a ride, if you’re okay with that?” She looked at him in question, waiting for his response.
Justin swallowed. Maybe he hadn’t really gotten out of bed and found her necklace. Maybe instead he’d just drifted off to sleep and was dreaming.
“Hop in.”
She started to climb in, then paused. “I’m going to put Daisy inside.” She looked uncertain. “Will you wait for me?”
Forever.
Forever?
Grateful he hadn’t said the word out loud, for fear she wouldn’t come back outside, he nodded.
She scooped up the dog, talked to her the whole way to the house, then let her into the screened-in side porch, closing the door and making sure the latch caught.
What was she saying to the dog? Probably warning her to send out a search party if she hadn’t returned within a reasonable amount of time.
He leaned back against the headrest, stared up at the sky, and tapped his fingers against the steering wheel.
Forever. That was what had echoed through him when she’d asked him if he’d wait. But she didn’t want the same things he did. Not just that, but she specifically didn’t want the things he dreamed of.
Would she ever?
If not, how far was he willing to go to keep her in his life?
How much was he willing to give up?
“You okay?” she asked, climbing in beside him and fastening her seatbelt.
“Not really,” he admitted, knowing he hadn’t been okay since their disagreement at the children’s museum. “Where do you want to go?”
“Anywhere. Just drive.”
Justin started the engine and took off down her street. The wind noise made talking impossible unless they wanted to yell at each other.
He drove them down toward the river, through several sections of town, and kept driving until he realized he’d circled back to near her house.
Rather than go into her driveway, he pulled into the neighborhood park and killed the engine near the bandshell.
They’d w
alked down here and sat in one of the carved-out seats in the natural amphitheater built into the hillside and listened to bands on more than one occasion. Tonight the only light shining was the moon, but it lit the path down the hill.
“Walk with me?” he asked.
She hesitated only a second, then nodded.
He met her on her side of the Jeep, and then, knowing he might be slapped down, took her hand into his.
She didn’t pull away.
Her hand felt small in his—small, warm, soft, and yet capable.
She’d been hurt so badly. He couldn’t imagine how she’d felt being stood up at her own wedding. No wonder she refused to give anyone the opportunity to hurt her again.
They walked down to the empty bandshell, and before he could suggest it Riley sat on the edge of the stage. Without letting go of his hand. Instead, she held on tight, as if she was afraid of letting go.
“I’ve missed you.”
Her softly spoken words were the sweetest music that had ever played on that stage.
Humbled by her admission, he lifted her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss there. “Not nearly as much as I’ve missed you.”
“I’m sorry.”
Her words sliced into him, ripping his insides to shreds. He remembered how he’d balked at her self-preservation on the day Mary had texted him. Shame filled him.
“I’m the one who’s sorry. You were right. I came looking to fight that night. I didn’t realize—not even after you pointed it out.”
Her hand shook in his. “It doesn’t matter.”
“It does,” he corrected, knowing that he couldn’t stop until he’d told her what was in his heart. “It mattered enough that it drove a wedge between us.”
“Because I let it.” She took a deep breath. “No, I did more than let it. I drove it as deep as I could.”
“Because I scared you?”
Her lower lip trembled, as if corroborating her next statement. “I’m terrified of you.”
“I don’t want you to be scared, Riley. That’s not how I want you to feel about me.”
He stepped close, wrapped his arms around her. She didn’t pull away. Instead she leaned into his arms, resting against him. Forever, he thought again. That was how long he’d wait for her. How long he’d fight for her. How long he’d be hers.
“I don’t want to be afraid anymore.”
His heart knotted at her sweet admission. “Tell me how I can help,” he said. “What I can do to make things right. I’ll do whatever it takes.”
Looking down at her hand in his, she gave a little squeeze, and said, “Then love me.”
* * *
Riley couldn’t believe she’d made the plea. That she’d let Justin guess at how vulnerable she was.
Guess? Ha. She’d pretty much spelled it out for him.
“That’s all?” He laced his fingers with hers. “I thought you were going to ask me to do something difficult, like slay dragons or thwart evil masterminds.”
“No evil masterminds or dragons. It’s just my own insecurities imprisoning me.”
“Then let me free you.” He squeezed her hand, looked into her eyes. “I love you, Riley.”
Riley’s heart leapt at his words. His very unexpected words. Johnny had tossed the phrase at her so freely, never meaning them. Justin had never spoken the words to her before. Not once. Until now.
Wanting to believe him, but unable to foil her fears, she pressed her forehead to his. “You’re sure?”
“You doubt me?”
Her hands shook and she held on to his tighter. “No, Justin. I don’t doubt you.”
She’d doubted herself—doubted that she could handle losing someone so precious. She almost had.
“You have no reason to doubt me, Riley. I’m yours.”
Hers? Was it even possible?
“For however long you’ll have me.” He swallowed. “Longer than that. Whether you’ll risk loving me, risk letting me be a part of your life or not, you are a part of mine and always will be. Because my heart is yours.”
Riley’s eyes stung. Tears trickled down her face as she admitted, “I love you, Justin. Kyle, too. But I—what if I can’t do this? What if I lock up every time we start getting closer and push you away?”
He kissed her hands, held them tightly within his. “Then I’ll love you through it.”
Was it even possible?
“I used to want children, a family, but then...”
“But then you got left at the altar and decided being alone was safer than risking that devastation again?”
Her insides quivered at what he was saying, at how exposed she was making her heart.
Then again, her heart was more than exposed. Her heart was Justin’s.
“I can’t believe I haven’t told you why I was in your driveway,” he said suddenly.
Confused, she watched him reach into his pocket and pull out a gold chain. Realizing what he held, disbelief hit her. Her breath caught all over again.
“My necklace!”
“I found it earlier tonight. It’s been beneath my bed.” He took her hand, pressed the necklace into her palm and closed her fingers around the chain. “The clasp is broken, but I’ll have it repaired.”
The chain had been in his pocket, and the metal was warm against her skin. Or maybe it was the warmth emanating from within her because he’d found her precious gift.
Oh, Mama, she thought, squeezing the chain. How I wish that you were here...that you could know Justin.
“I can’t believe you found it after all this time. I thought I’d lost it forever.” Her eyes watered as she looked up at him. “Even worse, I thought I’d lost you forever.”
His eyes glittered with the reflection of the moon. “You are my forever, Riley.”
Justin kissed her—a kiss not quite like any they’d shared. A kiss that was full of the ever-present heat, but also full of possessiveness and giving. Love, she thought. That’s what is there. It had been there all along, but she’d been too defensive to accept it.
Never again. Come what may, she’d lay her heart at his feet, risking him trampling it or lifting it high. She’d take his precious heart and cherish the gift of his love.
EPILOGUE
“HE’LL BE HERE,” Cassie assured Riley, rearranging her veil.
Understanding why her friend felt the need to reassure her, yet again, Riley resisted being annoyed at her friend’s repeated comment. Her friend’s unnecessary comment.
Justin would be here.
As long as there was breath in his body he’d be there for her and for Kyle and for any other children who came along.
Still, she did currently question her sanity at not insisting they just go to the county clerk’s office and say their vows there.
“You ready?” asked Cassie.
“Ready for this to be over.”
Riley looked in the mirror one last time. She’d not lost that fifteen pounds she’d meant to lose before today, but it didn’t matter. What mattered was how Justin’s eyes lit up when he looked at her...how when he looked at her what he saw was everything he wanted.
Cassie scowled at her answer. “This is the best day of your life. Enjoy it.”
Riley laughed. “Which means tonight is going to be the best night of my life, right? That I will enjoy.”
Catching on, Cassie widened her eyes, then giggled. “Now I understand your rush. Let’s get this show on the road.”
“Thank you,” she told her friend. “For being here with me today, and the last time I planned to do this, too.”
“I wouldn’t be anywhere else.” Cassie leaned in for a quick hug, taking care with Riley’s dress and makeup. “Who would have thought you’d be married before me?”
“Just by a few weeks,” Riley reminded her.
But Riley wasn’t walking down an aisle, per se. Just taking a car down to the bandshell, where their friends, all the Wilderness Group, and Justin’s family were waiting.
And Justin.
He’d be there.
Cassie helped Riley into her car. It wasn’t a long walk, but far enough that she wasn’t making the trek in a wedding gown.
A parking spot had been reserved for her near the top of the amphitheater, just out of view of the stage.
“About time you showed up,” Sam said as he helped Riley out of the car. “Your groom is nervous you’re not going to show.”
Riley shook her head. “He knows better. The only place I’m going is wherever he is.”
Simple traditional bridal music began playing. Sam leaned over, kissed Cassie, then kissed Riley’s cheek before going to take his seat.
Cassie hugged Riley one last time, then moved forward to where she would make her way to Justin. Riley couldn’t see the stage, so she waited until the music changed before moving forward.
She moved to the top of the hillside, where she looked down at her guests, all of whom had stood at the change in music and turned to face her.
A flashback of stepping out at her previous wedding hit her—that moment when she’d appeared in order to tell everyone that the groom had bailed and there would be no wedding.
But the rising panic died as quickly as it had come to life as her gaze settled on the wonderful man standing on the stage waiting for her, with a sandy-haired imp standing next to him in a matching suit.
Mine, she thought as she made her way to her soon-to-be husband, who was smiling back at her with his heart in his eyes.
Her heart. Her family. Today and forever.
And it was.
* * *
If you enjoyed this story, check out these other great reads from Janice Lynn
A Nurse to Tame the ER Doc
Friend, Fling, Forever?
Heart Surgeon to Single Dad
A Surgeon to Heal Her Heart