“I’m sorry,” Daniel mumbled, so quietly that I had to lean forward to hear. “I’m sorry he’s gone, and I’m even more sorry that you’re hurting when I could have stopped it.”
It looked like it killed her to fall into the chair beside him and wrap her arms around him. Her whole body was shaking.
He struggled at first, and he was big enough that he could have pushed her off if he wanted to, but he didn’t. He let her hold him and press his head to her shoulder, heedless of her own tears.
“It’s okay,” she said. “I love you, and it’s going to be okay. It’s not your fault.” Her gaze lifted to the ceiling. “It’s going to be okay.”
My fingers felt stiff when I pried them free of the banister behind me, and it wasn’t until she said, “I’m going to try to be okay, too,” that the tight coils of his body and mine began to loosen.
Adam:
How is it only Monday?
Jolene:
Because yesterday was Sunday?
Adam:
I was thinking maybe we could ditch school again this week. Your friend still dating that guy?
Jolene:
I honestly don’t know. We’re not talking.
Adam:
I know you’ve been trying to get through to her. That must suck.
Jolene:
I’m trying not to think about it.
Adam:
I don’t suppose you have any other friends we could bribe to drive us somewhere?
Jolene:
Not really.
Adam:
I might be able to hit up one of mine. Gideon, you met him at the dance, just got his grandfather’s old car. I could ask him.
Jolene:
My mom’s been home a lot so I’m not sure I could intercept the call from my school if I skip class.
Adam:
You’ll think of something.
Jolene:
Nothing’s coming to mind.
Adam:
Nothing?
Jolene:
Sorry.
Adam:
What about after school? Gideon might be okay with that.
Jolene:
I need to go to Gabe’s to finish the music video.
Adam:
Not every day though, right?
Jolene:
Then I’m at home working on the video of us.
Adam:
Right.
Jolene:
You okay?
Adam:
I feel like something’s been off between us.
Jolene:
Like...?
Adam:
You haven’t made fun of me this entire conversation.
Jolene:
I’m not being mean to you so you assume something is wrong?
Adam:
Is it?
Jolene:
You’re focusing on your family. I get that.
Adam:
I hate not seeing you.
Jolene:
How quickly he forgets Valentine’s Day.
Adam:
Trust me, I will never forget Valentine’s Day.
Jolene:
I loved that pastry thing.
Adam:
I know. I could taste it every time I kissed you that day. I loved that you’re reading LOTR.
Jolene:
See? We’re fine.
Adam:
It’s not always gonna be like this. I need things to get a little better with my dad, then we’ll have more time together.
Jolene:
Before or after I leave for my film program?
Adam:
I’m trying, okay?
Jolene:
I know. And I’m not mad.
Adam:
You can be mad.
Jolene:
That’s your thing, not mine.
Adam:
Then be something. You don’t hate this?
Jolene:
It’s not awesome.
Adam:
I hate not seeing you.
Jolene:
My dad’s apartment is in the same place it’s always been.
Adam:
I know. I hate that, too. You’re right there and I’m not.
Jolene:
Yeah.
Adam:
I guess I’ll see you in 11 days.
Jolene:
I guess so.
THIRTEENTH WEEKEND
March 12–14
ADAM
“Hey. Hey!”
It took Jeremy elbowing me to get my attention.
“Did you hear anything I said?”
I hadn’t heard much of anything since leaving our house twenty minutes ago. The sun was setting and Jeremy and I were driving his car to Dad’s since Mom had finally gotten hers fixed and no longer needed to drop us off.
“I said if you’re already going to be this miserable with me and Dad this weekend, then take a few hours and see your girl.”
“I told you I was in this. I promised.” And Jolene was acting like she couldn’t care less if we saw each other at all. Even her texts felt distant lately.
“‘In it’ doesn’t mean twenty-four hours a day all weekend. Show up when we eat and don’t be gone from the second you wake up to the second you go to bed. It’s called balance, moron.”
I didn’t feel like laughing—and I’d never laughed at an insult from Jeremy before—but one corner of my mouth lifted. I was still getting used to talking with him more. Sometimes it took days before I could force myself to tell him important things, but I still did. He’d been both pumped and pissed when I told him about Daniel coming over and talking with Mom. He was mad because he hadn’t gotten to see Daniel, but more than that, he saw the same potential in Mom’s last words that I had.
That afternoon when we were leaving for Dad’s, she’d even asked if we were going to go to the grief group with him again that weekend—they had a Friday night meeting as well as a Wednesday one—and when we nodded, she’d looked a little wide-eyed and nervous but said we could tell her about it if we wanted when we got home. It was a start.
It was so much of a start that I decided to take Jeremy’s advice and I gave him my bag when we reached our floor and went straight to Jolene’s door, ignoring the whipped sound effects he made as he let himself into Dad’s apartment.
I definitely caught her off guard. As she opened the door, she was talking.
“If you can’t remember something as simple as taking your keys with you when you go to the store, then—oh. Hi. I thought you were Shelly.”
Her hair looked braided painfully tight, and she was slipping into her coat, but that first sight of me caused her whole face to light up.
“Hey,” I said, wanting to hug her, so I did. She smelled like cigarettes, and it made me laugh. “Smoking again?”
She shrugged and moved past me into the hall. “It keeps Shelly away, and that’s easier said than done these days.”
“She still opening your mail?”
Jolene shook her head. “No, she’s—I don’t even know. She’s trying to talk to me. Like, all the time.”
“Talk to you how?”
“Like an actual human being. It’s creeping me out.”
It looked like it was more than creeping her out. She was visibly unsettled and unsure, two things she almost never was.
“Maybe she’s trying to be a decent person again. I mean, you said she used to be your friend.”
Jolene’s spine snapped straight. “No, she pretended to be my friend in order to get close to my dad, so whatever she wants this time, she’s not going to get it.” Then she looked at me. “What are you doing
here anyway?” She didn’t sound mean or annoyed, just curious, and a little like she was shoring herself up for another drive-by visit.
“Things are maybe going better with my family.”
“Oh?” she said, her hand reaching to grab her braid. And there was no hiding how badly she didn’t want that to be true, though she tried. “Good. I mean, that’s good.”
We leaned against the wall between our apartments as I updated her on things with my mom. When her eyes went a little shiny, I couldn’t tell if that was for me or her. I thought a little of both.
She had her braid coiled around her wrist. “That’s what you’ve been wanting from her, isn’t it? For her to try?”
“It is.” It felt big, maybe bigger than I’d let on, because I didn’t want to make Jolene think we might lose our weekends any sooner than we already would. Also, because my mom admitting out loud that she wanted to try was something Jolene had little hope of her own mother doing.
“Anyway, I don’t have to spend the whole weekend with my dad this time. We’re going to grief group tonight but not until eight. And I really miss you. Like, it’s excessively pathetic how much. Ask Jeremy.”
She bit back a smile. “More than five minutes of Adam time. You’re going to spoil me.”
I took a step toward her. “Yes, ma’am.”
She laughed, and I would have kissed her except the elevator was finally being fixed and there were repair guys all over the halls and stairway. I would have taken her outside, but winter had sunk its claws into us and was still howling as it held off spring for another week. Watching each other’s lips turn blue most definitely would have been a mood killer.
I also wasn’t about to bring her to my apartment, where Jeremy would probably be running lines with Erica via video chat and Dad would try to make small chat.
“Do you want to maybe go to your apartment?” I asked.
“Shelly went to the grocery store, but she could be back any minute.”
“Right.” We’d moved closer to the stairwell, and I had to back up against the wall to let a maintenance guy past.
She chewed her lip. “I might have an idea.” She didn’t look thrilled by it though.
“Hey, anywhere is better than here.”
“He might not be home, so don’t get your hopes up.”
“He?” I moved closer toward the stairs, but Jolene didn’t follow.
“Yeah. You’ve met him, the film critic. He lives in 6-2.” She pointed at the door one down and across from mine.
“Right, the homework guy.” I paused, still poised to head downstairs since I still didn’t understand what she was suggesting. “Do you need to pick up his recommendation letter or something?”
She was still biting her lip and staring at the door to 6-2. “He hasn’t written it yet, but he’s been busy.”
I frowned. “So then...you want to remind him about it?”
She shook her head. “He might let us hang out, if he’s home.”
“How is that any better than my dad watching us from over his laptop?”
“Because he’s not your dad.” She half rolled her eyes in my direction. “Or anyone’s dad. And anyway, I don’t see you coming up with a better idea.”
I silently walked back to her. In point of fact, I did not have any better ideas, but that didn’t mean I agreed we should start randomly hitting up neighbors we barely knew.
Jolene hesitated when we both stood in front of the door.
“He might not be home.”
“You said that already.”
“Oh, and his name is Guy.”
“Okay.” She must not have liked the way I said that because she looked at me and frowned. “Okay,” I said again, then before she could stop me, I knocked on the door.
“What are you doing?”
“Knocking. Wasn’t that the plan?”
Jolene directed her frown to the door and swallowed.
“Hey, we don’t have—”
The door opened, and I didn’t finish. The guy—Guy—saw Jolene first, and the way he smiled at her made me think of the stupid look on Jeremy’s face the first time he saw Shelly. Or maybe I imagined it, because a second later he noticed that Jolene wasn’t alone and his smile looked normal. His expression was friendly but curious when he turned back to Jolene.
“Hey,” she said. “We weren’t sure you’d be home.”
He held his hands up as if to say we’d caught him.
“Um, you remember Adam, right?”
“Sure. Paul’s kid.” He nodded at me and shook my hand, all the while casting glances at Jolene, which made me cast glances at Jolene. I felt like I was missing something.
“Okay, good. I was telling Adam how we’ve met a few times—”
Guy raised his eyebrow at her.
“—and I remembered you said something about wanting to get to know your neighbors better, and I thought...”
I raised both my eyebrows, bouncing my gaze back and forth between the two of them. Jolene was obviously uncomfortable. She clearly didn’t know this guy at all. I should have just let us spend an awkward afternoon with Dad and Jeremy. Instead, we were going to spend an awkward afternoon with this guy. A prospect he didn’t look all that excited about either.
“Ah, sure,” Guy said after too long a pause. “You guys want to come in?”
No, but I followed Jolene inside.
“Wow, your apartment is really cool.” She looked at me with wide eyes like I needed to agree with her. It was fine, I guessed. Big TV. Massive movie collection.
“Yeah, it’s cool. Hey, it’s really cool that you’re writing Jolene that letter for her film program application. It means a lot to her.”
Jolene shot me a look like I’d said something wrong, but all Guy did was laugh.
“We need more minds like hers making movies. You guys want a Coke or something?”
We nodded, and when he stepped into the kitchen area, I tugged Jolene to my side. “What are we doing here?”
She didn’t answer me.
Guy came back with our Cokes, and the sound of three cans popping open in unison broke the tension somewhat. “So are you a sophomore like Jolene?” Guy gestured to her with his can.
“Yep.”
“Good times,” he said. “You play any sports?”
“Baseball and some ice hockey. I used to play soccer—not like Jolene, but I’m okay.”
Guy’s eyes lit up, and he looked at Jolene. “I didn’t know you played soccer. You probably end up with a bunch of bruises on your legs.”
That was maybe the strangest response he could have made. I tried to catch Jolene’s eye, but she was focused on her Coke.
“Yep. I totally bend it like Beckham.” She stepped forward to a ceiling-high bookcase full of movies, and quicker than should have been possible, plucked one from the shelf. “Hey, you’ve got it.”
“Of course.” Guy looked over at me. “Keira Knightley, am I right?”
I should have smiled or nodded or something, but I didn’t. The way he’d said her name was, I don’t know, wrong. I didn’t feel like agreeing with anything he said.
“So can we watch it?”
I raised my arm toward Jolene, as if I could get her to take her request back. I’d already been trying to chug my Coke as quickly as possible so that we could leave. How was she not picking up on how weird the vibe was? Asking if we could stick around for another couple hours... What was wrong with her?
“Be my guest.”
Jolene looked past Guy to where I was mouthing the word no and shaking my head.
“Oh yeah, that’d be cool another time.” I stepped closer to Jolene and set my empty Coke can on the coffee table. “We actually have to get going.”
Jolene put the movie back slower than was strictly necessary.
/> “That’s too bad,” Guy said. “You’re welcome over anytime. Adam, it was good to see you.”
“Yep,” I said, putting my hand on Jolene’s back and steering her to the door. “Thanks for the drink.”
“You, too, Jolene.”
Once we were back in the hallway and the door was closed behind us, I turned to Jolene. “Promise me we will never be that bored again.” Almost before I’d finished speaking, she was rounding on me.
“What was that?”
“What do you mean?”
“You were so rude.” She did a rather unflattering impression of me. “‘We actually have to get going.’ You practically shoved me out the door.”
A smile played at my lips. “Okay, first of all, is that really how I sound?”
Her answer was to push me.
“And second, shove is a strong word. I would say I motivated you to leave quickly.”
She pushed me again.
“Hey, what do you care anyway? That guy was weird.”
“He wasn’t weird. You don’t even know him.”
“He was. Maybe you were distracted by the wall of movies and didn’t notice.” My smile was fading as I picked up on the fact that she wasn’t feigning her irritation. “Wait, I don’t know him? So he’s like your best friend because you’ve waved at him in the lobby a few times and he’s writing you a letter? Look, let’s forget it. We can hang out at my apartment. I can’t guarantee that Jeremy will be any better, but at least we won’t have to talk to him.” I turned toward my apartment, expecting Jolene to follow, but she didn’t.
“Why couldn’t you have been cool?” she asked, her voice strangely quiet. “We could have watched a movie. I’m telling you, you would have liked him if you gave him half a chance. Then we could have hung out sometimes, the three of us. That could have been cool.”
I walked back to her, knowing I was making that face she hated, but I couldn’t help it. “Yeah, ’cause I love hanging out with my dad’s friends.”
“He barely knows your dad.”
“Who cares?” And then I fell silent, because she obviously did. I tried to smooth my face out. Maybe she was dealing with some stuff with her dad. She’d been acting off all day, more than all day.
“Okay,” I said. “Yeah, maybe I could have been smoother. You caught me off guard with the whole movie thing. Don’t you think two hours might have been a bit much for just meeting the guy? He’s already writing you the letter. You don’t need to hang out with him or anything, right?”
Every Other Weekend Page 32