“You mean Guy, don’t you?”
I stilled, and my eyes started to sting, more than sting. “Please, just leave me alone.”
Her gaze flicked back and forth between mine and my eyes filled up faster. “Jo. If something happened, I need you to tell me so I can help you. Hate me again in an hour if you need to but right now...”
The suddenly soft tone of her voice sent a tear rolling down my face. The second it did, I decided to remember—just for a little while—that Shelly used to be my friend.
IN BETWEEN
Jolene:
Can I talk to Adam?
Jeremy:
Hold on.
Jeremy:
It’s Adam.
Jolene:
Was it you?
Jeremy:
Was what me?
Jolene:
Shelly told me somebody beat up Guy. Was it you?
Jeremy:
Yes. I was going to tell you.
Jeremy:
I wasn’t thinking. I should have waited and talked to you. It was right after you told me. I didn’t think.
Jeremy:
But he’s moving. You won’t have to see him in the hall.
Jeremy:
Say something.
Jeremy:
Are you mad at me?
Jeremy:
Jolene?
Jeremy:
I couldn’t stand that he hurt you. I wanted to hurt him. And I needed him to know that you weren’t alone. You’re not.
Jeremy:
I looked up some stuff online and there’s info about how to report people.
Jolene:
I don’t want to talk about it.
Jeremy:
He shouldn’t get away with what he did to you.
Jolene:
All he did was kiss me.
Jeremy:
He did something you didn’t want. That’s assault.
Jeremy:
On top of that you’re a minor.
Jeremy:
You wouldn’t have to do it alone. I’m here. I’m always going to be here. We can talk to my parents or Mrs. Cho or whoever you want.
Jolene:
Stop. First Shelly, and now you?
Jeremy:
You told Shelly?
Jolene:
I didn’t plan on it but yes. She wants me to report him.
Jeremy:
I can’t believe I’m saying this but I agree with Shelly.
Jolene:
I just want to forget about it.
Jeremy:
Okay. But I’m here if you change your mind. Bizarrely it sounds like Shelly is, too.
Jolene:
I don’t know right now.
Jeremy:
Okay.
Jolene:
And you need to delete these texts from Jeremy’s phone.
Jeremy:
I will.
Jeremy:
I just want you to know I’m here.
Jeremy:
I’ll do anything for you.
Jolene:
I know.
Jolene:
Thanks.
Jolene
I set my phone down, then curled my legs up, and rested my cheek on my knee. For once, I was glad that my bedroom at my mom’s felt like it belonged to someone else. As my gaze traveled around the room, there were few memories associated with the soulless space. Apart from Mrs. Cho coming in to clean, I was the only one who spent time there. I’d never wanted to have friends over, not even Cherry.
At the thought of her, I lowered one leg, then the other, and after a moment’s hesitation, I walked over to open my closet. Smashed in the corner of a shelf was the holographic gift bag I’d thrown up there over two months ago.
I gnawed on my lip and plucked it down. Crumpled white tissue paper floated to the floor as I revealed a hinged box at the bottom that was no bigger than my palm.
It creaked slightly when I opened it and inside was a necklace with a tiny film camera charm on the end. I lifted the charm in my fingers as a tear slid down my cheek.
* * *
Gabe and Cherry’s mom opened the door when I knocked twenty minutes later. “Hi, sweetie. We haven’t seen enough of you lately.” She reached for my hand and gave it a squeeze as I mumbled a vague excuse about homework. “You just missed Gabe. You want to text him and see if he can swing back for you? He and Grady and Dexter were going to grab something to eat.”
I shook my head. “Can you just give this to him for me?” I held out a flash drive. “It’s the finished music video for Venomous Squid.”
She smiled wide. “You’re such a good friend for helping them with this. Gabe says you’re a genius.”
I gave her a tight-lipped smile in return and my fingers trailed up to clutch the charm resting against my chest. “I was also hoping you might let me see Cherry. I know she’s grounded but—”
Their mom frowned and cut me off. “Cherry’s not grounded anymore. She didn’t tell you?”
The charm dug into my palm as I clutched it tighter. “We haven’t been talking, so...”
The frown smoothed and her eyes softened. “She’s in her room.” She backed up to open the door wider for me. “Go on.”
Upstairs, my footsteps halted a few feet from Cherry’s open door. I’d almost turned around and left when her mom told me Cherry was no longer grounded. That meant she could have tried to call me or at least text me to say she was sorry. But she hadn’t. Which meant maybe she wasn’t. My foot inched back from her door. Maybe all these weeks she’d been avoiding me as much as I’d been avoiding her.
But then I thought about Shelly and what I’d agreed to do the next day and realized that I’d never get through it if I backed away from this situation now.
Cherry’s eyes widened when she saw me. She clicked the TV off and swung her legs off the bed.
“Hey,” I said. “Your mom let me up.”
She nodded. “Gabe’s not here.”
“I know. I came by to see you. I mean, I did drop off the music video, too, but—”
“You finished it?”
I nodded. “A while ago. I just—”
“—didn’t want to come over.” I saw her swallow and her hands made fists in the comforter on either side of her. “Jo, I—”
“Wait, okay?” I took a step into her room, still clutching my necklace. There weren’t enough deep breaths in the world for what I had to say but I took one anyway. And when it wasn’t enough I took another. I was mad at her. More than mad, I was broken by her. But standing in her room with its hand-me-down furniture and the collection of stuffed animals nearly crowding her off the bed some of that fell away, not all, but a lot.
I took a few more steps and then lowered myself to sit on the opposite corner of the bed from her so I could pluck up a flamingo—her favorite animal—that I’d given her for her last birthday. I’d sewn a soccer ball to its hand and used markers to recreate our school’s mascot on its belly. It turned out awful, and I’d wanted to chuck it but Cherry had insisted it take a place of honor on her bed.
And it was still there.
My heart ached as I looked at the flamingo, and it ached more when I glanced at Cherry.
“I know you’re not grounded anymore. You could’ve tried to talk to me.”
Her head slumped further.
“I don’t get it. I thought eventually you’d come over and we’d fight it out and be okay again. But you didn’t.” My voice broke. “And I know you don’t want me to talk about Meneik—I don’t want to talk about Meneik, but I’m going to because I don’t care if you hate me for it. I don’t like him. I don’t like the way he treats you or the way he forces you to act to keep him happy. Whether
you want me in your life or not, and whether I’m mad at you or not, I care about you. I don’t want you to look back in five years and regret your life.” My heart lodged itself in my throat when I remembered Shelly telling me that she’d lost everything because of my dad. “I’ve seen that, and I don’t want that for you.”
Cherry glanced down at her knees, her shoulders hunching as though she was bracing herself. “Are you done?”
“No.” I tossed the flamingo down. “I’m not done. Cherry, I—I’ve been going through some stuff.” My throat closed off so my words came out choked. “I could’ve used a friend to tell me the truth when I was lying to myself.” I thought about all warning signs with Guy and how maybe if I’d told someone, they’d have helped me see him for what he was long before that final night in his apartment. “Because it turns out it’s a lot easier to point out somebody else’s mistakes than recognize your own.” My eyes were threatening to start swimming, so I bounced my gaze all over her room, her closet, her window, her dresser.
And I stopped.
Standing, I walked to the dresser and stared at the mirror hanging above it, the one that had been so crammed with photos, concert tickets, and notes she and Gabe always left for each other. I’d been in her room enough times to have them memorized, but even if I hadn’t, I’d have noticed the glaring gaps.
All the photos of Meneik were gone. Whenever they’d broken up before, she’d never get around to taking them down before they were on again.
I spun to face her and didn’t need to ask the question when the answer had been staring me in the face.
“Turns out I didn’t need you to see Meneik,” Cherry said, her voice less flat and more empty. “Do you know what he said when I showed up at his door?”
My stomach turned over.
“It was my fault for getting grounded, that if I really loved him, I’d have figured out a way to be with him sooner, even if that meant leaving my family. And I don’t know if it was all the time I’d spent away from him or thinking about the horrible things I’d said to you and everyone else—things he was yelling at me—” I heard her voice thicken. “But I finally realized that you were right, all of you.”
I pressed my lips together to steady them. “It’s over?”
She nodded. “And I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. It was awful and heartless.” When she lifted her head, her eyes were swimming. “And it wasn’t true.”
My chest felt too tight as I stared at her. I didn’t need an apology. I’d repeated that to myself the whole way over, but I know that part of my heart would have broken if she’d let me leave without saying those words and meaning them.
“After Meneik, I told myself I waited too long, that it was too late to say sorry and—” She broke off when she saw my necklace and then her face crumbled and we were both moving toward each other, meeting in a hug that felt like we’d never gone a single day fighting.
“Never,” I told her.
“I missed you.”
“Me, too.”
“Promise you’ll always tell me when I’m messing up?”
“If you’ll tell me.”
She nodded. “But you saw through Meneik from the start. You’d have never let some guy manipulate you like I did.” She felt me stiffen and drew back. “What?” she said, taking in the way my face had gone slack.
I sucked as much air into my lungs as I could, hoping to make the next part easier. I even tried to smile but it broke before my lips could lift.
* * *
Shelly let the two officers into Dad’s apartment and, after introducing everyone, she sat next to me on the couch and didn’t move for the next two hours while they questioned me.
If I hadn’t had my hands clenched tightly in my lap, I think she’d have tried to hold one as I relived not only the last time I was in Guy’s apartment, but every interaction we’d had since the first time we met.
To her credit, Shelly never once reacted. She didn’t gasp or sigh or so much as twitch while I spoke, my voice growing softer as the unbelievable stupidity of my actions hit me all over again.
The officers were kind, too. They never acted like they thought I was lying or embellishing. They wrote down my answers, asked questions that didn’t feel nearly as invasive as I’d been expecting, and they were straightforward with me about what was going to happen when I asked.
Guy would be interviewed next, but I already knew that his version of the events was going to contradict everything I said. And it turned out Guy was very clever. All his insistence on keeping our “friendship” secret meant there were no witnesses who’d ever seen us together. There were also no phone records, no inappropriate texts or voice mails. His kissing and groping hadn’t left physical marks on me, and I’d waited weeks before reporting him. There was nothing to prove my story over his.
“Okay, so what if he denies everything?” Shelly asked, scooting forward so that she was barely sitting on the edge of the couch as her gaze darted back and forth between the two officers. “You can arrest him based on what Jolene told you, right? I mean, right?”
“Unless he admits to kissing or touching Jolene, I’m sorry, no,” said one of the officers, a young blonde woman with striking blue eyes. She turned to me. “You’re the first person to make allegations against him, so unless he says something happened or we find a witnesses or evidence—”
“It’s my word against his,” I said, feeling hollow and small.
“Jolene, I believe you’re telling the truth, and whatever else happens, there is now an official record documenting your story. That report is going to follow him for the rest of his life.”
She told me I was brave and important and that because I’d come forward, any other girl who reported him would have my story to stand alongside hers.
I nodded, feeling more numb than anything as they left and Shelly shut the door behind them. She stayed there, leaned her back against the door until I realized what she was doing and my face went hot.
“Right,” I said, pushing to my feet and grabbing my bag. “It’s not my dad’s weekend and you probably have stuff you need to do.”
Shelly bit her lip. “I want to tell you I’m proud of you, but I’m betting I’m the last person you want to hear that from.” She took a step toward me. “I also want to tell you that it’s wrong that your dad wasn’t here.”
I couldn’t keep my eyes from glancing at the kitchen counter and the note Dad had left me.
Can’t make it today. I’ll make it up to you next time. Knock ’em dead, champ.
I wasn’t sure if he was confusing the events of the day with a soccer game or he really meant he’d try to make it to my next sexual assault police interview. Honestly, neither one changed how I felt about him.
Shelly had read the note over my shoulder, and for a second I’d thought she might throw up.
But then the cops had shown up, and we’d had to forget about the note. I’d try at least. There was an ugly, dark part of my brain that had it memorized though.
“And while I’m sure I know the answer, I’m going to offer anyway.” Shelly sucked in a deep breath and held it before saying, “I’ll go with you if you want to tell your mom. Her lawyers are going to be notified, but if you want to tell her yourself...”
Mom’s lawyers were going to be out for blood and they were finally going to have cause given that this had all happened on “Dad’s watch.” I didn’t want to think about that so I let myself imagine Shelly’s offer, what that meeting might look like, and the injuries and indignities that my mom would inflict on her if she came with me. For some reason, it wasn’t as fun to think about as it used to be.
“She’d probably try to run you over with her car,” I said.
Shelly didn’t react. “I know.”
“And you’re still offering?”
“Yes.”
Some
thing stung the back of my eyes hearing that. “I think I’ll let the lawyers do the honors.”
Shelly started to take another step toward me, and I could tell that if I let her take that one, she’d take another, and another, and she wouldn’t stop until she was right in front of me. And then she’d push me into a choice I could never make. It was one thing to let her hug me when I was breaking apart and crying on the floor, but when I was standing and feeling...not brave, exactly, but not weak anymore either. It would be something very different.
“Shelly, don’t.” She halted mid-step. “Please don’t.”
Her teeth dug into her lower lip before she nodded. “I know.”
She did know; we both did. Whatever she did for me now couldn’t undo what she’d done. Dance dresses and holding me while I cried and letting her shoulder press into mine while I relived one of the worst things that had ever happened to me, those were good things. But we were tainted by a past and present that I couldn’t forget. At least, not while I was still living it every other weekend. Not while she silently read my dad’s notes and reported to his lawyers.
I couldn’t.
“Can I...?” She pointed past me to her bedroom. “I need to show you something, and I promise that will be it, okay?” She barely waited for my wary nod before crossing the room. I heard the closet opening, and a moment later she was back and holding a bag that was nearly as big as she was.
A packed bag.
I frowned.
“I’m leaving.” Shelly grunted under the weight of the bag and I felt the reverberation in the floor when she dropped it. “I don’t want to live like this anymore. I don’t want to be this person, not for myself and not for you either.”
I kept frowning, but only because I was afraid of the expression my face would make if I stopped. “When?” I glanced at the bag.
“I bought the bag the day after you told me about Guy. I’ve been packing slowly ever since so your dad won’t notice.”
My heart started beating faster when I processed what she was saying. “Why didn’t you leave then?”
“Because of today,” she said in the softest voice. “I wasn’t going to leave you to go through this alone. I know you think you’re tough and you don’t need anyone, but I think that’s because you’ve never really had anyone. And you should, Jo. You deserve to have so many people. People better than me.”
Every Other Weekend Page 36