by Eden Maguire
So now there was a boyfriend and a brother I didn't know about -
thanks, Arizona!
It was getting late but I left the diner and drove out to Foxton anyway. The first stars appeared in the sky, along with a new moon over the neon cross on Turkey Shoot Ridge. By the time I reached the end of the track and set off on foot towards the water tower hidden among the aspens, I couldn't even see where I was putting my feet.
'Shoot!' I tripped against a rock and scraped my shin. Next time, wear
jeans, I reminded myself. A short skirt didn't cut it in these conditions, neither did pointy shoes. And bring a flashlight, I added.
After a lot of stumbling, I reached the tower, glad of one thing - that
there was no force field set up by the Beautiful Dead to keep me out. 42
Tonight I didn't have the energy to battle the wings and the death-heads.
Instead, Hunter had sent the new kid, Lee Stone, to greet me. He stepped out from under the tower without speaking.
I jumped back in shock. 'It's good that I've developed nerves of steel,' I told him. 'Couldn't you give me some warning instead of springing out like that?'
'Hunter said to watch out for you,' Lee said. 'He knew you'd come.'
'Hunter knows everything,' I said drily. 'It's the one thing you can be sure of.'
Up there on the ridge, the stars and moon gave me just enough light to take a closer look at Lee, who was dressed in a dark T-shirt and a jacket I recognized as belonging to Phoenix most likely the one he was wearing when he was stabbed between the shoulder blades. 'Turn around,' I whispered. Sure enough, there was a jagged tear in the leather. I tried to cover up a smal gasp and the shudder that ran through me.
'Where are the others?' I asked.
'They're in the barn, holding some kind of meeting.' Lee looked like he stil hadn't got used to the idea of coming back from the dead. 'They said for me to keep a lookout.'
'Wel , here I am. Shal we walk down and join them?'
Lee shook his head. 'The meeting isn't for far-siders. It's some kind of ritual they need to go through.'
'What kind of ritual?' It was the first I'd heard of this. And I started to resent Lee blocking my path down the hil . 'I need to talk with Phoenix,' I explained. 'It's personal.'
Lee refused to step aside. 'Hunter said no.'
'Oh wel , if the overlord forbids it!' I turned on the sarcasm, even
though he didn't deserve it. 'Tel me, Lee. Don't you object to the
absence of free wil around here?'
'I'm sorry. That's the way it is.' He looked dejected and there was stil that edge of confusion in his voice. 'Hunter gives the orders.'
'It's OK, I know.' Closing my eyes for a second, I relented. 'Sorry. Sometimes it's hard to bear.'
'What is?'
'Obeying, keeping secrets, being left out of the loop. Did Hunter say when he would let me speak with Phoenix? If not tonight, then when?'
Lee shook his head. 'I have no idea. Sorry.'
'Don't be. It's not your fault.' For a moment I managed to put myself in Lee's shoes. 'Did they find time to explain things to you?' I asked.
' Some,' he mumbled. * 1 found out that I wait in line after Arizona,
Summer and Phoenix. Waiting's a tough ask, especial y since I know there's something here on the far side that needs an explanation.'
I nodded. 'They have a word - revenant. You're back here on a temporary basis, with al these crazy powers.'
Lee's puzzled grin of acknowledgement lifted his face and made me realize for the first time that he was a good-looking guy. 'I could zap your mind and wipe your memory clean, isn't that cool?'
'Yeah, but don't try it,' I said, quickly moving on. 'You have no heartbeat but you do have super-hearing, if that's any consolation.'
'I heard your car way beyond Turkey Shoot,' he confirmed.
So you're one of the Beautiful Dead.' I looked directly into his eyes
and the conversation slowed as I reached forward to put a sympathetic hand on Lee's arm. 'Don't worry. It'l make sense in the end.'
'Aah, sweet!' Arizona said, stepping out of the shadows. 'I'm sorry -
did I interrupt something?'
I withdrew my hand as if Lee's arm was red-hot.
'So how come you never told me you had a baby brother?' I chal enged. The same goes for the boyfriend with the muscles, Kyle Keppler!'
Arizona hadn't given me any answers, natural y. She'd body-swerved my big questions and told me that their ceremony was over and Hunter had given permission for me to go down and meet with Phoenix.
.
Boy, Darina, do you have some explaining to do!' she'd laughed,
turning the tables on me as she led me and Lee through the barn door.
The barn was lit with oil lamps that cast flickering shadows over the 44
wal s and floor. Most of the Beautiful Dead were stil there, though Hunter was missing, I noticed.
Phoenix sat quietly on the hayloft steps, with Eve and baby Kori. Seeing me, he stood up and came across, took my hand and walked me out into the dark night.
'We need to talk,' we both said in the same instant, then we smiled awkwardly.
He took me towards the house, where he picked up another oil lamp
before we walked on along the creek.
'What's happening?' I asked, hardly recognizing my own quiet, shaking voice. I felt smal under the vast sky. Phoenix's hand was cold as the icy stream. 'I told you I loved you and you didn't tel me back. Why
was that?'
He refused to look at me. You explain it to me, Darina.'
Speak your fear. Get it out in the open. 'I need to know am I losing you? Did you stop loving me?' If he said yes, my world would end.
Everything would come crashing down. But stil I had to know.
Phoenix let go of my hand and walked a little way ahead. 'What makes you say that?'
You're blocking me, you're not sharing. I never felt you keeping me at this distance before.' Hearing him take a deep breath, I caught up with him. 'I've thought of everything these last two days - maybe there was something I did wrong, I don't know. Or maybe it's you, Phoenix. Is this what happens to the Beautiful Dead? When you first come back to the far
side you have feelings the way you used to. You stil loved me. But gradual y, bit by bit, those human feelings fade and you can't do anything to stop it. Is that what's happening between us? If it's true, I can't bear it, but you have to tel me so that I understand.'
The light flickered over his lovely, smooth face, his eyes shadowed, a smal nerve in his forehead jumping. You think I don't love you?' he murmured, as if the words were spoken in a foreign language he didn't understand. The creek ran at our feet, shining silver under the stars.
My heartbeat quickened. There'd been some mistake. Everything was
going to be cool. 45
This isn't easy,' Phoenix confessed. The last time you came, I thought you were the one who seemed different. I couldn't get through.'
'You didn't try,' I recal ed. 'It was you. You weren't letting me in.'
'Lee arrived. Stuff was happening.'
'You wouldn't look at me. I was scared.'
'You seemed distant. I read what you were thinking and I saw your
mind was al on him.'
I sprang to my own defence. 'Lee was in pain. You remember that first journey back from limbo you said it hurt like hel .'
'He noticed you from the start. He liked you, Darina. I saw inside his
head too.'
'You're blaming me for that!' 'Arizona noticed it too.'
'You talked to her about me? You let her misread the situation and get to you!' Everything wasn't going to be cool after al . We were splitting apart, flailing our arms like drowning men.
Phoenix dropped the oil lamp and began to run up the hil .
I watched him go. What was he talking about - me, Lee, Arizona,
liking and loving? 'This is crazy. I thou
ght you people were Grade A mind-readers!' I yel ed after him. Not drop-out failures!'
Phoenix had broken free and was picking up speed. I began to fol ow. 'You imagine I have feelings for Lee?' I cried. 'How shal ow does that make me?'
He stopped running until I came within ten paces. 'What am I saying? What am I doing?' he begged through breathless gasps.
'You're crazy.' And my faith was shaking, my trust was being stretched.
'Darina, I thought I was afraid ... '
'Of losing me?' I realized in a flash. 'No way, Phoenix.'
He came slowly towards me. 'Every time you go away, I feel I can't bear it. It rips me apart.'
'Me too.'
Closer and closer under a mil ion stars. 'It's too difficult. Sometimes I
think I'l leave the far side just give in and go back.'
'Don't!' I pleaded. I caught hold of the col ar of his jacket.
'I think of you back in El erton, living your life. Al I want is to be 46
with you.'
'Don't!' My voice broke down completely.
'I don't want anyone any other guy to come near you.' 'I won't let them,' I promised.
He held me too tight. 'I love you and I can't have you.'
I eased free and took his hand, placing it over my heart. 'Don't speak any more,' I pleaded.
It was only then that we noticed smal yel ow flames on the hil side where Phoenix had dropped the lamp. They licked at the dry grass and thorn bushes, darting across the ground in quick, flickering fingers.
Then Hunter came running out of the darkness below, taking off his jacket and using it to beat down the fire until it died in a shower of red sparks and a cloud of smoke.
Hunter stood astride the burnt patch of ground, arms folded. There was so much anger in his face that I had to take a step back to protect myself.
'Did you ever see a forest fire take hold?' he asked us. 'Do you know how fast it travels?'
'We're sorry,' I stammered. 'I'ns sorry. It was my fault.'
Phoenix came and stood between me and Hunter. 'Don't listen to her. It was me - I dropped the lamp.'
'You think I care about the details?' Hunter's voice stayed threateningly calm as he walked slowly towards Phoenix. Stil I expected his rage to explode. 'There are more important things here. Did I say that you could bring Darina out here?'
Phoenix shook his head. You said to talk with her in the house, but
we needed space so I decided to walk by the stream.'
'You decided?' Hunter turned the phrase around on his tongue. 'Since when did you get that kind of choice?'
I was shaking now he was stil stony calm but the anger burned like those flames, deep inside him.
Phoenix didn't answer. Power seemed to be seeping from his body.
'Man, I ought to finish this,' Hunter sighed, walking towards Phoenix. 'What's to stop me zapping you out of here, right back where you belong?' 47
'No, don't!' I cried, rushing forward to seize Hunter's arm, only to find myself swept back as if I weighed no more than a feather. I fel into the warm ashes on the ground. Phoenix made as if to run towards me, but his legs buckled and he fel to the knees.
'I gave the order,' Hunter reminded Phoenix, summoning up a storm of invisible wings to reinforce what he was saying. 'Word for word, I told you, "Take Darina to the house. Talk with her, find out what her problem is." Simple enough, even for you.'
Phoenix got back on his feet, his head raised and chin jutting out, like a condemned man determined to look death in the face. 'It turned out it wasn't her problem, it was mine. I wasn't thinking clearly.'
'I told you - spare me the details.' Hunter had never looked so unforgiving. ' You overrode the order, came up here, lost control of the situation and started a fire that could have brought the whole county fire service down on us. So tel me, Phoenix, what is it about this story that should make me want to keep you on the far side?'
'Don't send him away,' I pleaded. 'If you do, I won't help any of
you!'
There was no reaction, except Hunter turned to me with a look of mild
curiosity. 'You have too high an opinion of your own value, Darina.'
'You need me,' I insisted. 'I'm your link to the far side the only one you can trust.'
'Tel that to Arizona,' he muttered. 'I gather she's stil waiting for your so-cal ed help.'
'That's not fair. Arizona hides things from me.' I changed tactics and now I had Hunter's ful attention. He became extra alert and his eyes stared into mine. 'It's almost like she doesn't want me to succeed.'
Hunter frowned, then told Phoenix to walk down the hil ahead of us. 'Arizona's future is on the line,' he reminded me. 'Her eternal future. So what is she holding back on and why?'
The 'what' I could explain on that dark walk under the stars - namely
Raven Taylor and Kyle Keppler, but not her reasons. 'I don't understand 48
the way her mind works,' I told him.
He stopped short of the old truck parked for ever beside the decaying house. 'You're too simple,' he sighed. 'And Arizona's way too subtle.
That's part of the problem we're dealing with here.'
'So why the big secrets?' Arizona and I were sitting in the cab of the old truck, staring up at the stars when I chal enged her head on.
Hunter had left us there with strict instructions to engage in some plain talking. I felt pretty sure he was now with Phoenix, handing out the punishment for the fire incident. What if he did zap him back into limbo and never saw Phoenix again? Hunter was definitely powerful enough to do it. Focus! I told myself. Listen to Arizona's excuses.
'Which secrets are we talking about here?' As always, she was in
control, pushing the question back at me, testing me out.
'Let's start with Raven. Tel me about him.'
'What's to tel ? He's nine years old. He likes to sketch in a notebook.
Period.'
'Why is he so scared?' I cut through the crap and the winding mind game she was playing.
Arizona drummed the hol ow dashboard with the fingers of her right hand. 'He thinks the world is a dangerous place for people like him.'
'What do you mean people like him?'
'People who don't come out of the womb the same as everyone else, whose brains are wired differently - that's supposing that there is such a thing as a normal brain, which I doubt.'
'Stop. Don't go weird and theoretical on me. We're talking about your brother here. I saw him in your garden. What's he afraid of?'
Arizona turned her head towards me. 'Everything,' she said quietly.
I waited for more.
'Watch me,' she said. I watched.
Arizona narrowed her eyes and frowned deeply. 'What kind of mood am I in right now?'
'Cut it out. Answer my question.'
'I am.' She switched off the frown and replaced it with a smile. 'Now, 49
am I happy or sad?'
'Answer the question!'
'The point is, you know - you can read my face, right? Wel , my brother can't do that. He can't tel you what a smile means, or when you're about to get mad with him, or if you plan to be kind. His brain
can't work it out. So he plays safe and decides to suspect everyone al of the time.'
'That's crazy,' I breathed. The superior, arched-eyebrow look Arizona dealt me made me regret my choice of words. 'I mean, what's that about? Is it an il ness?'
'Only if you don't understand it.' Her tone changed and she was softer. 1 never think of my little brother as sick. He's just the way he is mad at the world, and who can blame him?'
'But your parents they've decided he needs treatment?'
'Yeah. Ever since Raven was little they've taken him to specialist brain doctors in practical y every state. He's been through al the therapies
- conventional, alternative, experimental, cutting edge, plain crazy you name it.'
'And?'
She shrugged. They each stick another label on
him and send him back home. Or they keep him in a hospital, or lately they send him to autism school. And al Raven wants is to be able to draw his sketches and be left alone.'
'Wow.' The picture she'd painted was pretty painful. What must 'home' be like with a problem like that going on? 'How about your parents?
What do they want?'
Arizona's fingers tapped more slowly against the dash. 'For it not to have happened,' she murmured. Then tap-tap upped the tempo. 'Which is why they send him away to school.'
'Raven - is he ... lonely?' I tried to get my head around the situation, remembering the dark-haired, dark-eyed, good-looking, terrified kid in the Taylors' summer house.
Her sigh went on for a long time. 'Sure,' she admitted. 'Now that I'm
gone, Raven has no one in the world to root for him.
'So now you know.' Arizona's defences were back up and we were out of 50
the truck and walking on to the porch, looking up at the dark sky. There was stil no sign of Hunter or of Phoenix. 'That's why I came back to the far side. I need Raven to know I would never - never do what they said I did at Hartmann Lake.'
'You mean, you wouldn't deliberately leave him.' I understood this
much at least.
She nodded. 'Especial y not now.'
I waited on the porch for her to explain. 'Why not now?' I had to prompt.
'Now that Dad's final y filing for divorce.'
The new information slammed into my brain. 'So when they split, who wil get Raven? - Is that what you mean?'
Another nod and the longest of sighs. 'Who wil even care?' she
added, disappearing into the house and closing the door behind her.
Hunter found me alone on the porch.
'I had no idea what kind of problems she was dealing with,' I told him.
'What - Arizona doesn't come across as a victim?' he asked, smiling without any humour in his eyes. ' But with her family history I guess she is.
'Her parents seemed so together. Her dad teaches music in col ege, her mom works as a broadcaster in TV.'
'Did you ever meet them?'