But the night of the event, about a week after his experience in Demeter’s apartment, when he came face-to-face with his calendar and realized that he must attend that affair whether he liked or not, he was not so much delighted. For one thing he was fatigued by the extra work of the week and the sickening length to which a certain legal affair had dragged itself out, and he wanted to get away by himself for the weekend and think things out.
But instead he hurried into his evening clothes after a final interview with his partner, which had lasted long beyond business hours, and made his way to the Bennington mansion, wondering just how soon he could decently get away and get some sleep.
He entered the throng of pleasure seekers and went the rounds, down a long receiving line, told Theodora how lovely she was, chatted with one or two of his mother’s old friends, a client or two, joined a row of men who were obviously bored with the scene and talking politics to kill time, refused numerous cocktails, and in due time drifted to the ballroom. His eyes wandered indifferently over the spacious place, selecting a few to whom he must show courtesy, calculating how soon he could courteously get away. There was no one here in whom he was especially interested, and yet he realized that it wasn’t long since he had enjoyed scenes like this. What had made the difference?
Then came Theodora, and he danced with her, among the first to claim that privilege. It was what her grandmother had intended of course, to start her off with men she felt were just right. And then he danced with Theodora’s debutante cousins, three of them—pretty, modern girls, not especially interesting, he thought. Or was it that he was growing older and could not appreciate young things anymore?
He was a good dancer and girls always enjoyed dancing with him. He said a few of the usual vapid things, but when he had done his duty by the third of the cousins until someone cut in on them and relieved him, he turned away, and there in the doorway stood Demeter!
He had not expected Demeter to be here. This was not her set, yet he knew that she must have the entrée here if she chose. And she had chosen, it seemed. Why?
She was dressed in some pale green shimmering stuff, with a glitter of stones around her neck, and a good deal of Demeter showing down the back, yet somehow she had managed to give a demure look to the gown in spite of its daring cut. It went up high to the jeweled throat in front and was held firmly together down the back by delicate lacings of jeweled threadlike chains from the shoulders down to a point at the back of the waist.
She stood cool and quite haughty there in the doorway looking straight at him, just as if nothing at all had happened between them. Just as if she were sure of him and herself, and he would welcome her coming as he had done many times before.
“Good evening,” she said. “You’re dancing with me, did you know it?” And as if he had taken the initiative, she stepped into position and placed her hand in his.
The dancers were crowding behind them, and they must move. There was nothing to do but fall into step, but his face was stern and his lips were set in a thin line. Now, what was she going to do? He wanted nothing less than a season in her company, and he had no intention of allowing her to take the lead, yet he must not make a scene of course, and she had known that and had taken advantage of it for some purpose of her own.
“It is good to see you back in your own environment again,” she said amusedly as they moved off with the music.
And suddenly it came to him that this was not his own environment. There was nothing satisfying here for him.
God, are You there? It was a cry his heart had been making again and again through these last days, and always there had been that sense of His Presence, that feeling that he would never be alone again. But now, as he cried, it was gone! He had lost that precious sense that had been with him since he first knelt and surrendered himself to the Lord! What was the meaning of it?
Someone touched him on the shoulder, and looking around he met the cold sinister eyes of the man who had entered Demeter’s house as he was leaving the other night. He had cut in on them!
The count!
What was he doing here?
He stepped off the floor into the shadow of the window drapery and watched them for an instant as they moved away in the dance. He could not be mistaken. It was the same man. Somehow they were planning something together! It did not matter! He had to find the Presence again. He looked vaguely around the brilliant scene. But God would not be here! Why had he come? He stepped through a side door into the wide hall and searched out his hostess, making his apologies. “Oh, must you go so soon?” she said in a disappointed voice. “Theodora will be so disappointed!” And he found himself saying, “I must go. I have lost something and must go and find it!”
Now why had he said that? She would think he was crazy!
“Oh, did you lose it here?”
“No, not here,” he answered positively.
“Was it valuable? I hope you will find it.”
“Yes, it was valuable,” he said, “but I shall find it. I am sure I shall find it, but I must go at once!”
He got himself back to his apartment with the greatest possible speed, and going into his darkened room knelt down and began to pray.
“God!” he said, “I have lost the sense of Thy Presence! I cannot do without it. I do not know what to do to get it back. God, why did Thy Presence leave me?”
He knelt there a long time, and by and by it was as if the Lord came and stood beside him, laid His hand on his head and spoke to him.
“You went into a place where I could not go with you,” He said. “You went into the world that crucified Me! They would crucify Me again if they could! If you want to find your pleasure with that world of the flesh you must expect to lose sight of Me!”
“But I don’t, Lord!” he cried out. “I care nothing about that world now. I cannot do without You! Oh, Lord, return to me!”
Years afterward he told Lance Devereaux of that experience.
“It was as if the Lord stood beside me again, and said to me, ‘I will never leave you, nor forsake you!’ It was as if He told me many things that night that I had not understood, nor even known before, but afterward I found them all in the Bible! And that’s how I learned separation from the world. It was as if He had said, ‘I died for you, did you die with Me? Well, then, we must live this new resurrection life together, you and I!’ You see, Lance, I was all new at it, and there was no one around who could help me then. I didn’t even know how to read His Word very well. So the Lord just had to tell me Himself.”
And Lance, listening with misty eyes and rapt attention, said reverently, “That was a very precious way to learn. Most of us are so sure we know what is best that we have to learn by stumbling and falling, and even hurting others in our fall, before we know which way to walk!”
But that night Alan spent upon his knees with God! And when he slept he felt the Lord watching over him, and awoke to find himself rested as he never seemed to have been before.
It was about the middle of the next morning while he was busy at his desk that the telephone rang. It was Lance’s voice.
“That you, Alan? Well, we’re all coming down to the city Friday night to a meeting we want to attend. One of the greatest Bible teachers of the day is to be there, and we want to hear him. We’re staying at the hotel overnight, and we thought perhaps you’d like to take dinner with us and go to the meeting afterward. Is your calendar all filled?”
“It is not!” said Alan joyously. “I’ve just got done canceling every social engagement I had, and if there ever was anybody glad to hear a voice it is I to hear yours. But there’s nothing doing on that hotel business. You’re all coming here! Yes, I mean it! Dad and Mother, too! You’re my family, aren’t you? Didn’t I get adopted after the most approved fashion? Well then, say no more! I’m having you for company. Yes, I’ve plenty of room. There’s an apartment across the hall that I can get. It has two bedrooms and is vacant; plenty of room for Dad and Mother and the girls; and
you and I can bunk together. How is that? I expect to talk you to death all night, by the way. And say, nothing doing about that overnight business. This invitation is for the weekend! I need you, and I’m going to have you. You came just in the nick of time! Yes, you can. You can get Bud to come over and feed Chrystobel and the hens and keep up the fires. I’m going to have a visit from my family!”
There was a pause while Lance at the other end consulted with the family, and Alan waited with his heart beating wildly. Daryl would be there in his own apartment, and he would find out just how things had been going with her. Daryl! Daryl! Darling—!
“Yes? Oh, that’s good! What time will you get here? Yes, I’m meeting you at the station. Oh, you’re coming in the car? That’s better. You won’t be tied up to trains. Well, I’ll be home about four o’clock Friday, and I’ll be watching out the window, but in case I’m a bit late you come right in. I’ll leave instructions with the janitor! What time does Ruth get out of school Friday? Two o’clock? And you’re picking her up at the school? Oh, then you ought to be able to make it by four thirty at the latest, at least unless you take the roundabout way by which I first arrived at your house! Say, this is the greatest thing that has happened to me since I left your house! I feel like a four-year-old. I can’t wait for the time to come. Good-bye till Friday.”
He hung up and beamed around upon his secretary.
He didn’t explain what had made him so happy, but he didn’t need to. He had fairly shouted into the telephone, and she couldn’t help understanding. She smiled sympathetically. She hoped it was nobody related to Demeter Cass that was coming. She hated Demeter Cass with all her heart and hoped she never would come around or telephone again, snobbish little pest!
But Alan found it very hard to work the rest of that day. He was planning his house party, and a misty, dreamy look came into his eyes as it occurred to him to marvel that now that God had separated him from his old life and friends He was bringing something sweet and precious to take their place.
Chapter 17
It was a quarter to two on Friday afternoon when Harold Warner arrived at the farm again, drove up to the front gate and parked his car, and stormed the knocker and the bell together again according to his usual custom.
“Daryl!” called Mother Devereaux from the foot of the back stairs in a cross between a shout and a whisper. “There’s somebody at the front door and I can’t go. Can you? I’ve got to finish packing these mince pies and doughnuts, and I haven’t changed my dress yet. Father said that we ought to start in exactly half an hour from now. Can you see who it is?”
“Yes, I’m coming,” said Daryl, setting her hat on quickly at a becoming cocky angle and hurrying downstairs with her fur coat over her arm. She slung the coat on a chair in the living room as she passed through and opened the front door. It was probably only somebody to inquire the way somewhere. People often stopped to ask the way. Then she opened the door and there was Harold!
She must have showed her blank dismay in her eyes and voice as she said, “Oh!” for Harold immediately bristled.
“Oh!” he said contemptuously. “Is that all the greeting I get after all this long absence?”
“I’m sorry,” said Daryl. “I certainly didn’t expect to see you when I opened the door. And even now I can’t offer you a very cordial greeting because, you see, we’re just on the eve of going away for a few days. But come in just for a minute, won’t you? I’ve time to say a greeting at least.” Daryl was coming into good form by the time she reached the end of her sentence. She had lived through a good many stages of her fizzled-out romance since Harold drove away that Sunday morning after New Year’s, and she had come to wonder just why she had ever thought he was the only lover in the world. Yet she had rather dreaded seeing him again, fearful lest her first infatuation might return upon her and bring the whole matter back again.
But here he was and must be dealt with.
“Come in? Of course I’ll come in, Daryl,” he boomed. “You certainly wouldn’t think I’d come all this way without coming in, would you? Sure, I’ll come in, and stay, too. I planned to stay over Sunday. Brought my togs and I’ll go out sledding with you, if that’s what you want. We’ve got a lot to talk about, baby, so you’d better take that hat off and stay awhile yourself. You’ll have to change your plans, for I’ve come on important business, and I don’t mean maybe, Darrie.” He stopped and tried to take her in his arms and kiss her.
But Daryl wasn’t there! She slipped back and looked at him remorsefully. Here he was taking things for granted in his important way, and Lance was already backing the car out of the garage ready for starting!
“Please don’t, Harold,” she said steadily. “I’d rather you didn’t try to kiss me. I told you that, you know, when you were here before.”
“Oh yes, I do remember something like that,” he said goodnaturedly, “but I knew you didn’t mean it. I knew you were only bluffing till you’d get your own way. Take off your hat and sit down and we’ll get this thing all cleared up. I came up just to have an understanding, and believe me, I’m going to have it if I have to talk from now till Monday morning!”
“Well,” said Daryl, suddenly dropping down into a chair and looking at her former beau, “sit down. It won’t take long to have a thorough understanding! I’m perfectly willing to be friendly, and put aside all the things you’ve said and done, but we’re not engaged—I’m not sure we ever really were—and you have not the right to kiss me any more familiar than friendliness permits. I am not expecting ever to marry you. Is that clear?”
“Mad yet?” asked Harold, grinning at her, admiring her spirit and her pretty brown suit that was so becoming, thinking after all she was a pretty good-looking girl.
“No, I’m not mad!” smiled Daryl. “I never was mad. I was only hurt. But that’s gone now. I discovered that I had been mistaken in a lot of things, and I’m not even hurt anymore. Of course I’m sorry that you feel as you do about some things, but it hasn’t the vital bearing it had a month ago on my future. So you needn’t think I have any hard feelings toward you.”
Harold studied her a moment thoughtfully. He hadn’t expected exactly this line.
“And now, I’m sorry,” she went on as Lance honked the horn and she glanced at her watch, “I’ll have to say good-bye. We’re leaving immediately. If you only had taken the trouble to telephone this morning you would have been saved all this long journey.”
Harold’s mouth and jaw grew stubborn.
“I’m staying, I told you,” he said, “and so are you, little lady! We aren’t going to have any more of these tantrums. We’re going to get this thing settled up. Let them go on without you. We’re staying.”
“Oh, but that’s impossible!” Daryl said, laughing. “The fire has been banked, and there isn’t a thing left in the house to eat but dry cereals. You’ll have to come some other time when I am at home if you want further conversation with me, for I am leaving now.”
“Where are you going?” he demanded, suddenly angry.
“Why, I am going to a house party,” she said sweetly.
“A house party! Where?”
“At a friend’s,” said Daryl quickly, her cheeks flushing prettily.
He studied her with narrowing gaze.
“You are going to a house party when I am here and you might stay with me?”
“Seems to me you went to a house party not long ago when you might have been here with me,” she said. “But the case is quite different now. There is absolutely no reason why I should want to be with you anymore.”
“That’s nonsense!” he said. “People don’t change as quickly as that. Where is this party? Can’t I go, too? I invited you to mine.”
“I’m afraid not. I’m afraid you wouldn’t enjoy it any more than I would have enjoyed yours. We shall be attending religious meetings most of the time, and I know that’s not in your line. But anyway, Harold, it’s useless for us to talk anymore. I’m done, and I think yo
u’ll discover it’s for the best when you consider everything.”
“Daryl, where are you?” called Lance.
“Coming,” called Daryl. “I’m all ready except my coat.”
“Well, hustle up, Daryl! I promised Ruth I’d be at the school exactly at half-past and we’ll barely make it now. What in the world is keeping you?”
Lance appeared in the doorway and suddenly discovered Harold.
“Oh, I beg your pardon, Warner. Say, that’s too bad! You picked a bad time to come, didn’t you, with us just leaving. Sorry, but those things will happen once in a while. But you must come around again when we can give you a warmer welcome. You see the fire is banked and the house isn’t really warm enough for comfort. Anything we can get for you, a cup of tea or anything? Mother might manage that if you haven’t had your lunch. I could drive down for Ruth and come back and pick the rest of them up.”
“Thanks! I have had my lunch,” said Harold curtly, and he swung sullenly out the door without a look back and drove away into a world where Daryl did not belong.
Daryl wondered at herself as she sat in the car and watched him go. Just a few short weeks ago her heart would have writhed to have him go this way, and now she was only anxious to have him gone! Was that because she had a fickle heart? No, she was sure it was not! Oh, suppose she had married him and then found out how ruthless and bad tempered and unloving he could be! Even apart from the drinking, which to her mind was unspeakably dreadful, he had not been loyal to her or thoughtful of her in any way. He had just lived for his own pleasure and convenience, and now he expected her to give up everything and stay at home and argue with him. Oh blessed escape! Even if she were not on her way to a delightful time, which included meeting the very nicest friend that could be—only a friend of course, but still a wonderful friend—she was cured of lovers, and she wasn’t ever going to think again of that little incident in the cellar; that had been too trifling for a second thought. She was cured of romance forever now. She was going to be heart-free and happy!
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