by Anne, Melody
Walking up to her brother-in-law’s house, Patsy took a deep breath, knowing the interrogation was coming. Then she let out a laugh. From the way her thoughts were going, people would think her family were nothing but tyrants. That was far from the truth. They were loving and loyal and she was acting foolish.
She opened the door and made her way into the living room where the entire family was waiting. Nicole looked up, her eyes sparkling as she jumped from the sofa, handing over the baby in her arms to her equally smiling husband.
“I’ve been waiting all day,” Nicole said as she ran and threw her arms around Patsy.
Why she’d avoided coming home she’d never know because she loved this woman with all her heart.
“I’m sorry. I’ve been so busy,” Patsy said.
“Just don’t ever be too busy for family,” Nicole scolded.
“I promise I’ll do better,” Patsy assured her.
“Good,” Ryan said as he walked up, baby Jesse in his arms. “Your sister starts to go stir crazy when she doesn’t get to see you or talk to you.”
“I’ve missed you guys,” Patsy assured him. She looked from Nicole to Ryan. Then she held out her hands. “Now give me my nephew.”
Ryan handed over the two-month-old baby and Patsy cooed at him. He smiled at her, and she knew he already held her heart in his hands.
“He’s growing too fast,” Patsy told them with a frown.
“Babies tend to grow when you’re not looking,” Nicole said with a chuckle. “And since this will be our last, we plan to enjoy him for as long as we can.”
“Don’t say that. I want a dozen nieces and nephews,” Patsy told her sis as she moved into the room and sat down with the baby in her arms.
Nicole laughed again. “I don’t think any of us can handle me pregnant that many times. I’m a bit of a diva.”
Ryan laughed. “I don’t mind middle of the night Taco Bell runs,” he assured her.
“Or me getting fat?” Nicole asked with a twinkle in her eyes.
His expression went serious. “You are beautiful, Nicole, pregnant, not pregnant, young or old, fat or thin. There’s nothing you could do that would change how I see you.”
Patsy’s eyes filled with tears at the pure adoration in Ryan’s eyes and voice. He meant what he said. He was so in love with his wife there was nothing she could do he wouldn’t consider spectacular.
“I love you, Ryan.”
“I love you, Nic,” he replied before giving her a kiss.
“Okay, for those of us who are single, this is a bit disgusting,” Patsy said.
Nicole’s head turned to the side as she looked at her sister, and Patsy squirmed in her seat. She knew that look well. She gazed at her nephew and hoped like heck Nicole wasn’t zeroing in on her.
“I know that tone of voice, sis,” Nicole said. “I also see the blush you’re trying to hide.” She moved closer. “Have you met a man at work?”
Patsy’s cheeks heated more as all eyes in the room turned to her.
“Oh, I should have popcorn right now. Nic’s on to something,” Jasmine piped in. She’d been silent so far.
Jasmine was married to Derek Titan, Ryan’s cousin. Though Ryan, Derek, and Drew were cousins, they were far more like brothers than cousins, and their families were always together. When the three wives got together there was no stopping them when they wanted to know something.
Derek was the one to chuckle now. “You might as well spill because you know they’re going to continue to grill you until you tell all.”
Patsy glared at the man she considered an uncle. They’d been in her life since she was a little girl when Nic started dating Ryan. Patsy had been devastated when they’d broken up. She’d been overjoyed when they got back together again. It hadn’t been an easy road for the two of them, but it didn’t matter. They were together now and more in love than ever before; at the end of the day that was all that mattered.
“There’s nothing to tell,” Patsy said. “I think Jesse needs a diaper change, though.” Hopefully they’d focus on her beautiful nephew instead of her.
“Don’t try to change the subject. We’re definitely on to something here,” Nicole said as she moved closer.
“I like a good grilling,” Trinity spoke up.
Trinity was married to the youngest cousin, Drew, and Patsy had always felt a special bond with her. She looked at her with a pleading glance and Trinity laughed.
“I can’t help you, kid, not on this one. I’m too curious,” Trinity said in betrayal. Patsy huffed.
“Okay, okay,” she said. “But Jesse really does need changed. I’ll take care of it.” She began to stand when Nic held up a hand.
Ryan laughed as he came over and took Jesse. “Looks like I’m on dad duty so your sister can get a tell-all from you,” he said. He looked at his son like he was the most precious thing in the world.
If Patsy could be with a man who looked at her the way Ryan looked at his wife and children, maybe she’d consider a real relationship. But even though Ryan truly would love his wife no matter what, Patsy was very aware of her internal scars from past trauma. She was worried a man wouldn’t see past that. Her college lover certainly hadn’t cared enough to see past a single thing, not even the small mark on her chest. That mark told her she was alive, but many men wanted utter perfection.
“There is a doctor I have a slight crush on, but it can’t go anywhere, so I don’t see a need to talk about it. It’s sort of why I’ve avoided you the past couple of weeks. You seem to have radar anytime a man comes anywhere near me,” Patsy said with a long sigh.
Nicole’s mouth gaped. “I just care about you and want the best,” she assured her sister.
“I know you do, Nic. But everything in my life’s changing, and I don’t really know what to say about any of it,” Patsy told her.
Nicole looked as if she didn’t know what to say herself, a first for her sister. That made Patsy grin.
“I just want you to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
Patsy rose from her chair and crossed to her sister, throwing her arms around her as tears sparkled in her eyes. They didn’t say a word for several moments before Patsy pulled back.
“I know you do. You’ve done so much for me my entire life, sacrificed way too much. I would die for you.” She paused as she took a deep breath. “But you have to let me grow up and trust that I’m okay. I’ll make smart choices in life and dumb ones, but I’ll be okay either way.”
Nicole looked as if she wanted to argue with that statement, but Ryan stepped back into the room with a happy baby in his arms. He passed Jesse to Jasmine, who gladly took him, then placed an arm around both Nicole and Patsy.
“Your sister will work on letting you grow up,” he assured her.
Patsy laughed and he looked confused. “What about you, my sweet brother-in-law? Are you going to let me grow up?” she challenged.
He shrugged his shoulders sheepishly. “I’ll do my best,” he said. Then as if he was trying to act nonchalant, which he didn’t pull off well, he tried to make his next question casual. “Who is this doctor you’re speaking of?”
Patsy laughed heartily as she gave Ryan a big hug before pulling away. He waited and she kept him that way for a few long seconds.
“There’s not a chance I’m giving you that information. You’ll have his entire background and social security number within an hour,” she said. Kyle hadn’t done anything to deserve the Titan men coming after him—at least not yet.
“More like half an hour,” Drew piped in.
“Probably have his weight at birth by then too,” Derek said with his own laugh.
“You’re not helping,” Ryan said, glaring at his cousins.
“None of you are helping in any way. I know your meddling is done with love, but I’m a big girl now, and
if I choose to ever date again, I’m not telling any of you about it.”
That earned her scowls from all three men and laughter from their wives.
“You’ve grown up so much in such a short time,” Nic said, her tone proud.
“Because you raised me well,” Patsy told her. She had to wipe a tear away.
Their father had been an abusive alcoholic, and if it hadn’t been for Nicole, Patsy couldn’t imagine how her life would’ve turned out. She truly was grateful for her sister and all she’d done.
The smiles fell away and Patsy knew what was coming next. Her sister took a deep breath and brushed the hair behind her ears. This was what Pasty had hoped wouldn’t happen.
“Now that we got men and not enough visits out of the way . . .” Nicole began.
“I’m sorry, Nic,” Pasty said as she twisted in her seat.
“How in the world did we hear second hand that you were shot at?” Nic said, tears popping into her eyes.
Pasty felt lower than a sewer rat for hurting her sis.
“I wasn’t actually shot at and I didn’t want you to worry,” Patsy said. “It was a very unhappy husband with one of our doctors who had done nothing wrong. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. But I’m glad I was there because she made it through and is doing fine now.”
“A gun was pointed at you,” Nic said, tears falling down her face.
“I promise if anything like that happens again, I’ll call you immediately. I really am sorry, sis,” Patsy said as she sat next to her sister and threw her arms around her.
Nicole sniffled for a minute as she held tightly to Patsy. Then she leaned back and gave a wobbly smile.
“We’ve always told each other everything. Don’t exclude me from your life,” Nic pleaded.
“You’re my everything, Nic. It won’t happen again,” Pasty assured her.
They hugged for a long time and then thankfully Ryan saved the day from the emotional moment.
“Okay, we’ve got the grilling done, now let’s have some food and drinks,” he said with a sly smile.
Patsy laughed again, glad to feel the heartache dissipate. “If you think you’ll get me drunk so I’ll talk, think again,” she told her brother-in-law. She ignored his grumble as she made her way to the back deck where enough food to feed a small army was set up.
She was glad to be home. Even the interrogation was worth it. For just a little while her worries faded away and all was right with the world.
Chapter Ten
Life was about goals. Yes, there were struggles mixed in there, but at the end of the day, you wanted to be able to look in the mirror and know who you were and where you were going. People would come and go in your life, but there was no chance of outrunning yourself. There was no escaping your destiny—not ever.
Patsy was glad to remember those simple facts. Kyle wouldn’t be a permanent fixture in her life, so she was happy to get back to doing what she’d always wanted to do. She was even more grateful when he wasn’t hovering around her through the next week of her residency.
Because she wanted to focus more on emergency medicine, helping those rushed into an ER with a bite wound to the face, a nose slashed off, or a chemical burn, she got to know Dr. Kian Forbes a lot more, which was a bonus.
She liked him. He was so damn knowledgeable. But above that he was patient and kind, and she thanked her lucky stars he gave her the time of day and his expertise.
A lot of plastic surgeons wanted to move to a big city and perform ten-thousand-dollar breast implants since that paid so much more than fixing a jagged scar on someone’s face, but at the end of the day Patsy wanted to look herself in the mirror and be proud of who she was.
Of course, that’s what she’d always thought. That was until she had some good insight from a great surgeon. Maybe it was time to be less judgmental of which areas of medicine doctors chose to practice.
Just because someone wanted to change something about their body didn’t make them vain, didn’t make them a bad person. She was beginning to realize no one was ever truly happy with who they were. That was what made people want to be better. And it wasn’t her place or anyone else’s place to decide on what someone chose to do to themselves.
Who was she to judge anyone when she had her own demons?
“You’ve learned a lot. That’s what will make you great at your job,” Kian told her as the two of them observed a mother on the operating table with a deep laceration in her chest from a drug deal gone wrong. She had stabilized, and the internal wounds had been dealt with, so it was time to fix the outside. Sometimes it was easy to cast blame on the life a person had chosen to live. That wasn’t Patsy’s job though.
“I’ve been pretty judgmental,” Patsy admitted.
Kian shrugged, giving her a kind smile. “We’ve all had those days. I’ve had people on my table high on meth with their foot hanging halfway off because they decided to play with fireworks or an ax. I’ve had pregnant mothers with wounds in their stomachs because they were so drunk they fell down a flight of stairs. I’ve had my moments of outrage and entitlement thinking I was too good a doctor to treat someone who didn’t care enough to take care of themself. But I learned that I don’t know their story. I don’t know what got them to that point in life. All I know is I made a vow to help everyone, not judge them. And if I show kindness to someone, it might change their life in a better way. Maybe not, but it’s not my place to choose who is worthy of care and who isn’t. We’re all human, and we all make mistakes.”
“I guess I still have a lot to learn,” Patsy admitted.
“We all do,” Kian told her.
Patsy felt a certain tingling down her spine before looking up. She told herself not to do it, she was being foolish. But as she held a scalpel in her fingers, she couldn’t stand the feeling anymore so her eyes were drawn to the observation windows.
And there he was.
As much as she wanted to tell herself she didn’t like Kyle Armistead, she was drawn to him so much that she could feel him before seeing him. He was standing there, his eyes fixed on her as she worked.
She had barely caught glances of him through the week after the shooting, and the sight of him was enough to take her breath away, enough to make her mess up her surgery. She had to look away quickly before Dr. Forbes and the rest of the staff saw how affected she was.
But even as she focused once more on her patient, she couldn’t help the image that had been burned in her brain. He looked so damn good in his green scrubs with his soulful eyes looking at her with what appeared to be approval.
He was new to this hospital just as she was, and there seemed to be a hint of unease in his eyes as if he wasn’t quite sure of his own journey. Were the two of them lost souls seeking each other? Had they already bonded in a way that couldn’t be broken?
That was absolutely ridiculous, she chided herself.
“Is everything okay, Dr. Lander?” Kian asked.
She had to push back the tremor wanting to wrack her body. This wasn’t the time or the place to think of Kyle. He was just another doctor, one of many who’d come and go in her life. He didn’t matter.
“Of course. Sorry for the delay,” she replied, refusing to look up again to see if Kyle had noticed her distraction.
Patsy focused on her patient, trying to ignore the bruising on the woman’s face and remembering she was a person, a daughter, a mother, possibly a sister, a niece. No one chose to live a life like she’d chosen. Maybe bad choices had led to her decision, but she still deserved the best medical care, and she deserved respect. She was a human. Maybe it would change how she saw herself if they saw her as a good person. Maybe she’d choose to go down another path from this day out.
Maybe she wouldn’t. That wasn’t for Patsy to decide. There were a lot of stitches needed and she was grateful for the staff in the r
oom with her, teaching her, standing by with compassion without judgment. Patsy had a lot to learn in this line of work she’d chosen.
Thankfully she had good teachers. She pushed thoughts of Kyle from her mind and worked alongside Kian as they tried to make their patient as good as new. The hours flew by and she became lost in her job.
When the surgery was finished, exhaustion filled Patsy, but a sense of pride outweighed it. The smile making her cheeks ache was also rewarding. As she began stripping her surgical garments, she knew she was where she belonged.
“You have a true gift for this,” Kian said as he scrubbed his hands in the sink next to her. She was glowing at his praise.
“I’ve wanted to do this since I had my own surgery,” she admitted, telling this man more than she had told any other medical staff.
“We all have a story about why we want to do this. If you ever want to share yours, I’m here,” he said. She liked that he offered but didn’t push. She was glad she’d come to this hospital.
“Thank you. I appreciate it,” Patsy told him. As she finished scrubbing up she couldn’t help but glance at the empty observation window for what seemed like the millionth time. Kyle had been gone a long time.
Kian’s knowing gaze missed nothing. He smiled at her, and she had to fight the guilty blush wanting to steal over her. It was foolish to be crushing after one of the attending’s—especially Kyle Armistead.
“Kyle hasn’t been here long, but I don’t often see him watching emergency surgeries,” Kian pointed out, making Patsy squirm.
“I’m sure he wants to learn all the ins and outs of the hospital,” Patsy told him, hoping she sounded nonchalant.
“Or he’s keeping an eye on one particular doctor,” Kian said with a grin that didn’t try to hide what he was thinking.