by Ella James
I cup his nape and hold his head against me. “I forgive you.” I hold him close and tight and try to give him all my love. My poor friend. Before I know it, my mouth is on his temple. The one with the scar. I kiss him there, gently.
I feel his lips brush up against my throat. He inhales; then his forehead nuzzles underneath my chin. He rolls away from me, but pulls me with him, so he’s on his back and I’m above him.
He looks dazed.
I cup his face, stroking the light beard on his cheeks.
My mouth twists up on one side. “Hi, Bear.”
“Can you call me Barrett?”
“Sure.” I lay against his chest and wiggle a hand under his back.
“They called me Bear. Sometimes I miss it, but…”
He shifts his hips a little, and I look down and see a telltale tenting of his pants.
“I’m sorry.”
I draw away from him. I didn’t think about that, about how my rubbing up against him would make him react. Stupid Gwenna.
His eyes flip open, and he grabs my hair. His hand cups his thick erection.
“It would be…a terrible mistake—” He groans— “For me to keep this up.”
“Why would it be?”
His eyes squeeze shut; he grits his teeth. Watching his palm press against his lovely bulge, I touch his leg.
He moans. His hand closes around mine. “Gwenna, please.”
“Want me to move?” I can’t tell where he is, or what he needs. I scoot back.
He sits up. Stands up.
I take hold of his hand. “Everything’s okay.”
“It’s not.” He turns partially away from me; we’re still holding hands, but I can only see his profile now.
I whisper, “Why?”
“I want to touch you again. I’ve been wanting you. It’s a problem.” The word is whispered. “I fucked this up. I don’t know how to stop. I don’t know how to keep from telling you.” He rubs the base of his palm over his face.
“Telling me what?” I ask him gently.
He pulls me to him, rests his chin on my hair.
“I would never, never hurt you. Please believe me.” He pulls back; our eyes meet for a moment, then he pulls me back against him.
I reach my arm around his waist and run my fingers down the firm plank of his lower back. “I do.”
“I wish I could leave it there. I wanted to leave it there. But it came with me. It’s in here and I can’t get away.” He reaches in between us, tapping his chest. “It’s a one-time thing.” He moves his hand and rests his face on my head. “People should…fight and then die.”
“No,” I murmur.
“Every one of us—” His diaphragm expands, pressing against me. “Sometimes I think it would be better. I’m not the same.”
“No. I know. No one would be.”
He strokes my hair. He cups my body to his and hugs me tight. “You make things better. Too much better.” I feel his deep breaths under me. I touch his stomach: hard and firm. I stroke his ribs.
“Gwenna—”
“Shhh.”
ELEVEN
Barrett
“I can’t do this.”
Her fingers flatten over my lower abs, and I hold back a groan. My cock is so hard, it fucking hurts. Then her hand is cupping it, sending streaks of pleasure through my balls and down my legs. I swear, I can feel precum ooze against my boxer-briefs.
“I think you can.” Her voice is whispered. “I think you want to. Why can’t you? If you won’t give it to me, I want to know why I’m missing out.”
I blink and look at her through bleary eyes, trying to pull my thoughts together. My gaze wanders down to where she’s stroking me. I drag an unsteady breath in and speak in a rough voice.
“It’s been a long time…since I fucked. And you…” Her hand, warm and heavy even through my pants, drags up and down the length of my erection. “You shouldn’t…” I groan. “You’d regret it.”
Now I’m panting. Somewhere far away, I know I should do more to stop this, but she’s soft and warm and…touching me with tenderness. It feels so goddamned good.
Gwenna shakes her head, looking up into my eyes as she reaches into my sweats, revealing the thick hose of my cock covered in charcoal boxer-briefs. The sight of her hand closing over the head of me is enough to make my balls draw up.
“I like touching you.” She demonstrates by tracing the rim of my head with the pad of her thumb.
Her other hand wanders down my cotton-covered shaft and spreads out, pushing against the thin fabric until she’s stroking my balls.
“God, Barrett…”
She smooths the fabric of my boxers over the fullness, gives me a Cheshire Cat smile, then pulls the boxer-briefs elastic to the side, and I groan loudly as my cock springs up. She drags the fabric over me, peeling downward, then hooking the elastic underneath my balls, creating gentle pressure in a sensitive spot behind them. Then she cups my sac, tugging it slightly away from my body so she can torture my poor, swollen balls by gently stroking each of them.
I bark a groan as her other hand glides up my shaft and cups my cum-slick head. My hips buck at the pleasure and my right hand wraps around her upper arm as I sway on my feet.
I hear her whispering to me, but blood is rushing in my ears. My breaths are hard. My limbs buzz as if I’m being stimulated by low-level electricity.
Gwenna pushes lightly up against my balls, rolling them inside my sac. She’s focused her stroking on the top half of my shaft, each upward pull tickling the sensitive rim of my cockhead. I can feel my eyes roll back as she keeps working me at both ends.
“Fuck…” I have the thought that I should sit down before I fall down, but then her jack-off hand glides down to grip my base, and as it strokes back up toward my head, one finger presses gently on the tender underside of my shaft.
I swear, I can feel the cum surge from my balls upward. I’m panting. Dizzy.
“Ohhh Gwen… I need to come. I need to fucking—” With a tortured groan, I pull my hips slightly away from her. I’m overwhelmed by what she’s doing, rendered mindless and about to fall the fuck over. But she is unrelenting, and my half step backward only makes her grip me tighter.
“Gwenna…”
My hand glides down to her elbow, lending me a feeling of control even as my body shakes. My cock throbs underneath her firm, fast strokes and my balls feel taut and swollen.
“Fuckkk. I’m gonna…blow.”
“Not yet.” Her husky voice makes goosebumps spread over my skin. I think I hear her naughty little giggle, then she’s tugging my sweats down.
I grab her shoulders, squeezing as I lose track of the world, except her warm hands, making my head spin.
“So big and hard.” She wraps a hand around my shaft, grabbing hold just underneath my head and giving it a gentle squeeze before she glides the fingers of her other hand over my tip.
“Look at this…” She spreads a line of precum down around the rim of my head, tracing around it while my knees threaten to buckle.
“Jesus Gwen…” I grab her wrist. Her other hand—the one that’s still wrapped partway around my cock—strokes down toward my throbbing balls. I suck a deep breath into my lungs, and the hand that’s holding my dick lets it go—so she can tug my boxer-briefs down my thighs. Even there, I’m sensitive. The fabric tickles, making my cock ache. I shut my eyes and focus on not coming. Even the slight movement of lifting my feet out of the briefs makes my balls tauten, has my dick stretched up toward my navel.
She strokes a finger over the sensitive notch on the underside of my head, and my clenching fist catches a strand of her hair.
“Ow.”
“Fuck.”
I start to let her go, but she says, “No—I like it.”
She leans down and licks me all around the rim of my head. I have to flex my toes to keep from pushing my cock into her mouth.
She strokes my balls, and I groan loudly. “Pull…” But she won�
�t. She just fucking tickles them, and I hear myself panting.
“Gwen…” I run my hand over her shoulder, down toward her chest, where I cup one of her breasts and grope in the direction of her nipple. I rock myself against mouth.
“Please…”
I think about her pussy, slick and pink; I can feel the silky tightness… Fuck, I’d hold her hips and shove my cock so deep—
Her hands leave me. My eyes fly open. When I blink, I don’t see her, but I hear her saying, “Come here…”
My imagination conjures Gwen on the couch with her legs spread, fingers dragging through her dripping pussy. So when I see her standing by it, fully clothed and nowhere near my tortured cock, I frown and feel my pulse throb in my temples.
“Come here.” When I don’t move, she comes to me and takes my hand. I catch her give my dick an indulgent little smile.
She leads me to the couch, and when I’m ready to fall to my knees and beg for her hands again—her mouth; her cunt—she rests her fingers lightly on my head and whispers, “Look at me.”
And as I watch, she takes off all her clothes.
Her body is a temple—unmatched in its beauty. Her nipples are dark pink and sweetly pebbled. Her pale, full breasts were made to press around my cock: just big enough to make me think I’d need both hands to cup one. My starving gaze roves down her stomach—tiny at the waist; soft and curvy below. I see the scars I remember from the other night and my heart skips a beat, but then she’s whispering, “I want this.”
With a wink and a wavering smile, she turns around, giving me my first view of her ass—and holy fucking ass it is. She has the kind of ass that could command its own Instagram account. The kind of ass I could get lost in.
My cock thumps against my abs. And that’s before she lays face-down on the couch and draws her knees up, presenting that big, round ass to me with fingers peeking in between her thighs.
She strokes herself, and my whole body pulses.
“What—”
I step back, feeling faint.
Gwenna peeks over her shoulder. Her brown eyes are glazed with want. Her hair tumbles around her shoulders. She says my name, and I blink, realizing I’m stroking my own dick.
I swallow hard. “You want—”
Her legs spread slightly as she whispers, “Yes. I want you in me.”
Her fingers part her pussy, and my cock throbs so hard I feel it in my thighs.
“Fuck.” I step over to her, pressing hard against my dick so I don’t come right where I stand. Gwenna watches with her lip between her teeth.
“It’s been a long time for me,” she whispers, “and you’re big…so just go slow.”
She means, It’s been a long time and I’m tight. My throat constricts as I move up behind her on the couch and stare down at her ass cheeks and her pussy. I can’t help myself. I have to touch her.
A wave of heat moves through me as I reach out. My fingers hover over her pussy for a few heartbeats, so close I can feel the heat of her. I squeeze one of her ass cheeks. With my right hand, I find her soft, wet folds and spread her gently.
“Fuck—you’re gorgeous.” My heart pounds as I shift a little closer on my knees and rub my tip against her wetness.
“Christ…”
It’s been so long…
Gwenna wags her ass.
“That’s right, babe.” My voice is rough and barely audible.
She wiggles back against my dick. That first brush of hot velvet around my head makes me jolt, and groan. I push against her just a little more, shaking from the effort not to shove my cock inside her heat and fuck her like a beast.
“Oh God…” My knees tremble. I wrap a hand around my dick and give a slow, steady push, until she moans; I feel her tightness give, and then her cunt is squeezed around my head. “Aghh, you feel so good…”
She moans.
“You’re beautiful,” I breathe.
I rock forward on my knees, gritting my teeth as I ease another inch or two inside her. Gwenna groans and starts to pant.
“Oh God…you’re big.”
“You’re tight.” I reach over her slim back and grab a strand of auburn hair. With the end wound around my fingers, I squeeze her waist and take a few slow breaths.
“You okay?” I rasp.
“Oh shit…Barrett…”
“You…feel…so good.” I shut my eyes so I can’t see her perfect ass, and grit my teeth as I guide more of my dick into her almost painful tightness. I feel Gwenna’s legs shaking.
“’S okay,” she murmurs. She rocks her hips back against me, groaning as she takes another inch. Jesus Christ, she feels like a fucking virgin. When sweat is dripping down my throat and my cock is throbbing so hard I’m worried I’ll come here and now, I slide my hand from her waist down to her hip, squeeze gently, and push myself in, balls deep.
She moans loudly, then starts panting. I grit my teeth to keep from shouting at how fucking good it feels—to look down on her back and ass and know that I’m inside her. She’s so perfect. “You’re so hot…and tight.” My voice cracks.
I feel Gwenna clench around me and I grip her hip, pushing further still, till I can feel her dripping on my balls and my cock is enslaved by her plump pussy.
“God…” I draw myself out slowly, inch by inch. She whimpers, and I want to slap her ass for being so damn hot, so fucking tempting. Instead I slam back in, and Gwenna shouts, and once I start, I can’t stop fucking her—the way I need it: rough.
With every thrust, I sink balls-deep, and Gwenna moans and shakes and falls down to her elbows on the couch.
“Barrett!”
I grasp her hips and fuck her harder than I’ve ever fucked before, angling myself so I can rub her G-spot with every thrust. When she starts to slide out of my grasp, up toward the couch’s arm, I lock an arm around her hips and press her back against me while I’m buried in her.
“Fuck!” I pant.
I feel her shaking, hear her gasping.
“Oh God!”
I brace my right knee and thigh against the couch and balance with my right hand on her hip, and then I reach around her narrow waist and find her wet slit with my index finger. I stroke between her lips. It makes me throb, finding she’s dripping everywhere.
“Who’s full of my cock?” My voice trembles.
“I- I am.”
“That’s right.” I pump in and out a few times, then I stop again and stroke her little swollen clit.
“You’ve been wanting it, haven’t you?”
“Yes!”
“You think I didn’t see you watching me? I watched you too,” I grunt, and push inside her, holding while I stroke her dripping pussy. “I saw you wanting this. I tried—” I drag out back— “tried to let you be. But you wouldn’t let me, would you?”
“No,” she rasps.
I punch back in, and she lets out a low sound like a sob.
“You needed me inside you. You’re so tight, I can barely fit, but you like that, don’t you?”
She pants and bears down on my dick so I can bury myself deeper—and I’m not surprised: the way she grips me when I pull it out and how she shoves her tight cunt back against me as I slam inside.
I hear myself, from somewhere far off, moaning, “Babe…ahh, Gwen—” until I feel the tension tightening my balls and thickening my cock.
“I’m gonna come…” I reach around and stroke her clit once more as she rocks back toward me. I slam in…draw out…slam in…and as she starts to quiver around me, she rasps, “On the pill.”
My cock thumps deep inside her as her pussy clenches, her muscles squeezing, milking, as my balls throb and I fill her up, and then I hold there deep inside her body: warm and spent; my hot balls pressed against her taint and throbbing with their own heartbeat. I find my body feeling light and empty. I can’t think at all, can only feel and smell and stroke her ribs as chills race over her smooth skin.
“Holy fuck…you feel so fucking good.” A shudder rips thro
ugh me. I let my head hang over her for just a second as I try to get my breath.
Then I pull out slowly; cum spills as I leave her empty…dripping…such a perfect fucking sight.
I’m still half hard. Just looking at her, freshly fucked, makes my shaft twitch.
“Gwen?”
She looks back at me. Fuck, she’s sweaty and her lower lip looks raw, like she’s been biting it.
“Are you okay?” I whisper. Fear flares somewhere distant in me.
“Holy hell.” She laughs. “Amazing.” She squeezes her thighs together and grins. “Are you? You look like you just ran a marathon.”
It’s probably true. My eyelids are heavy and I feel sleep blurring my edges even as I stroke her hip one final time and make myself get up.
“Wait here a minute.”
I walk into the kitchen and get a warm cloth for her. I come back to find her curled up on her side.
When I kneel beside the couch, she yawns, then smiles.
I can’t help smiling too.
“You’re fucking beautiful,” I murmur as she takes the towel from me. I grab a blanket from the other end of the couch and toss it to her, then I disappear into the kitchen for a minute. When I return, she’s got the blanket wrapped around her shoulders. She looks half asleep.
I remember last time she was here, she did the same thing: crashed right after. I only hesitate a second before I bend down and scoop her up.
She giggles as I climb the stairs with her, and rests her cheek against my chest as I open the door to my room. I’m glad the lights are off so she can’t see how messy this place is.
I peel the covers down—at least the bed is clean—and lay her on the king-sized mattress. I tuck the covers up around her shoulders and walk over to the armchair where my .338 is.
She doesn’t need to see it…or the pile of Red Bull cans. I lay a throw pillow over them.
“Barrett?”
I step over to the bed and find Gwenna’s eyelids drooping. Fuck, she looks like heaven naked in this bed. I blink as she leans up on her elbow.
“You okay?” she whispers, reaching for me.
Warmth spreads through me.