by Suzy K Quinn
Am I going crazy?
66
When we get home that night, I don’t ask Marc about being on set. Because I know what he’ll say.
I’ve already told you Sophia. I wasn’t there. Now drop it.
Either Marc isn’t telling the truth, or I’m imagining things. And the Marc I know isn’t a liar. So what the hell is going on?
Dinner at the townhouse is a little stilted. Marc’s deep in thought – probably about my sex scene. And I am too. I’m still wondering why I saw Marc on set. Can you get hallucinations when you’re pregnant? I’ve never heard of it happening but I guess anything is possible. Maybe I should talk to Dr Christian …
‘So what did you do today?’ I ask Marc, as Rodney serves us goats’ cheese and walnut salad.
‘I saw a new property in London,’ says Marc. ‘A good development opportunity. Maybe for a new college.’
‘Don’t you want to ask about my scene?’ I ask.
‘No Sophia, I do not want to ask about your scene. I do not want to know about you lying semi-naked on a bed of straw, with Leo Falkirk on top of you.’
My fork drops to the table. ‘So you were there.’
‘I beg your pardon?’
‘You were there. On set today.’
‘Sophia, we’ve already been over this. I told you I wasn’t there. Now if pregnancy is making you so tired that you’re seeing things, I really think—’
‘I wasn’t seeing things,’ I shout. ‘You were there. How else could you have known how Leo and I were arranged?’
‘It was a guess Sophia. I’ve read the script. Christ – you want to know what I’ve been doing all day? I’ve been imagining my pregnant wife with another man. I’ve been imagining every detail of the scene. The bed. The walls …’
My heart softens a little.
I go to him, dropping my arms around his shoulders. ‘I’m sorry. I’m tired. It’s been a funny day.’
‘For you and me both.’
‘The movie will be finished soon.’
‘Not that soon.’
‘Okay, so there’s another. But as far as Leo and I go, all the intimate scenes are done.’
‘I’m glad to hear it. Very, very glad to hear it.’
67
Two months later …
‘So what do you think?’ Jen holds up a flowing white dress with a high sweetheart neckline. It’s made from thick silk and has long lace sleeves.
Jen and I are wedding dress shopping in Chelsea. This is the fifth boutique we’ve visited today.
The funny thing is, I know that Jen has already seen her wedding dress. It was the second one she tried on in a boutique a few streets away. But she doesn’t know that yet. She’ll have to try on fifty more dresses before she realises.
‘It’s beautiful,’ I say. ‘But a bit Princess Kate, don’t you think?’
‘What’s wrong with that?’
‘Nothing.’ I choose my words carefully. ‘But … you want the dress to be you. It should suit your figure.’
Jen laughs. ‘I get it. You’re saying my big boobs and Kate Middleton’s willowy, slender figure are worlds apart.’
‘Exactly.’
‘So how about this one?’ Jen plucks another dress from the rail.
‘What about that dress in the first shop?’ I say. ‘You know – the second one you tried? With all the crystals?’
‘Oh I loved that one,’ says Jen. She fingers teardrop crystals on another hanging dress. ‘I’d almost forgotten – it was my favourite, wasn’t it?’
‘Yes.’
‘Tell you what – I’ll just try a few more shops, and then we’ll go back and try it again. Okay?’
I laugh. ‘Okay. So. How are things with you and Leo?’
‘Great! Really, really good. He is so hot. I mean just AMAZING in bed. The things he can do with his tongue—’
‘I more meant, you know, in general,’ I say. ‘How is it living with him?’
‘He’s a messy sod. But he pays for a housekeeper so it’s all good. I just feel content. I mean the sex is hot. But sometimes we spend all night just talking. I love being with him. We like totally different things but … it works. He’s my best friend. After you of course. How is he to work with?’
‘Good. How do you feel about him being around Sigourney these days?’
‘Fine. I did have a bit of a freak out didn’t I? So not like me. I’m over it now. What has this boy done to me?’ She giggles. ‘It must be love. Anyway. I think everyone’s allowed to get jealous of their boyfriend’s supermodel ex-girlfriend. I mean, I’m only human. And Sigourney is stunning.’
‘Not as stunning as you.’
‘Spoken like a true best friend. How is Leo on set? Is he good fun? Or does he get all serious when he’s working?’
‘He’s great,’ I say. ‘Funny. Considerate. I can’t believe how fast the time has gone. The movie is really coming along. I’m enjoying it, but I’ll be glad when we’re finished too.’
‘And you can put your feet up and be fat and pregnant.’
‘Yep.’ I stroke my stomach. I’m showing a little, which I love. ‘Although I feel great actually. Glowing. Totally not sick any more.’
‘So how are you and prince charming?’
I finger the lace on one of the dresses.
‘Okay.’
‘Just okay?’
‘Great. I mean we’re great, but …’
Jen lowers the dress in her hands. ‘But what?’
‘It’s just … ever since I thought I saw him on set that last time, things have been a bit funny.’
‘Funny in what way?’
‘I don’t know. I don’t know if it’s me or him. Or both. I’m sure Marc would never lie to me. But I just can’t help thinking … I thought I saw him twice. And both times he denied it. I mean, once I could have been seeing things. Tired. Stressed out. But twice …’
‘So if he was there, why would he say he wasn’t?’
‘Because I asked him not to be,’ I say. ‘And he promised to stay away. And do you know what – that’s another thing. The way he reacted when I asked him if he was there. It was … I don’t know. Not like he’d usually react. He was kind of angry.’
‘Marc seems like an honest guy to me,’ says Jen. ‘He might not do what you tell him. But I don’t think he’d lie about it.’
‘That’s exactly what I think. But since then … I don’t know. Marc’s been leaving the house at strange times. And being sort of secretive.’
‘Maybe he’s planning a surprise for you,’ says Jen. ‘Like Leo was for me.’ She hugs the dress to her. ‘I’m so happy we’re getting married! Sorry. What were you saying?’
‘Marc’s just not quite himself, that’s all.’
‘Could it be something to do with his sister?’
‘No. I don’t think so. I mean, everything seems fine with her. She’s with her son. Things are good. Although they were talking on our wedding day … about family drama or something.’
‘That was ages ago. I’m sure whatever that was about has blown over.’
‘Perhaps.’
‘Maybe he’s just stressing out. About the pregnancy. It’s a big change. And he really cares about you. Maybe he’s scared the baby is going to rip you in half when it comes out or something.’
‘Don’t say that. I’m worried enough about the birth as it is.’
‘Sorry. Your friend Jen has no sensitivity whatsoever. But then you’ve always known that.’
‘Yes I have.’
We both laugh.
‘So it’s the big scan today, right?’ Jen asks. ‘The one where they tell you if it’s a boy or a girl?’
‘Yes. This afternoon. And that’s another thing – you would have thought Marc would be excited. But he’s all kind of huffy about it. Whenever I mention the scan he changes the subject.’
‘He’s probably just scared.’
I put my hands to my stomach. ‘I’m scared too.’
‘You don’t need to be. You’re going to have a perfectly healthy baby.’
‘You’re right. It’s silly to worry. So – are we going back to the first wedding shop or what?’
Jen grins. ‘Yes. Let’s go back there and try that crystal covered dress again. Do you know what? I think that one could be the one, actually.’
‘I think so too.’
68
I stare at the beige ceiling as I lie back on the hospital bed.
This is familiar now – my t-shirt pulled up and gel on my belly. And the sonographer moving a plastic thing over my skin. Of course, my belly is a little bigger than when we did the last scan.
We watch the little black and white TV that will, any minute now, show us our baby.
‘Look Marc, there it is!’ I shout, pointing.
‘There he is.’ Marc turns to the sonographer. ‘Is everything okay? Is the baby healthy? And Sophia …’
‘From what I can see so far,’ says the sonographer, ‘your baby is very healthy. Everything in the right place. Nothing to worry about.’
‘Thank you,’ I say, feeling tears come. I didn’t realise I was worried, but I guess I must have been. Finding out our baby is still healthy is such a relief. ‘Oh Marc. Our baby. That’s our baby.’
‘And I can give you a pretty good picture of when your baby will be born too,’ says the sonographer. ‘You’re looking at a New Year baby. Around January 15th. Would you like to know the sex?’
‘Yes!’ I blurt out.
‘Sophia, are you sure about that?’ says Marc. ‘You said before that you wanted to wait.’
‘That was before we were in a room, having a scan, being told we could find out.’
‘You don’t want to act on impulse and be disappointed later.’
He has a point.
‘Okay,’ I concede. ‘Maybe we should wait until later to decide.’
‘We’re never completely certain about the sex,’ says sonographer. ‘But we get it right around 95% of the time. Would you like me to write my best guess on a piece of paper and seal it in an envelope? That’s what some parents do. Then you can decide to open it or not whenever you’re ready.’
‘I like that idea,’ I say.
‘I’ll look after the envelope,’ says Marc, raising an eyebrow. ‘The excitable state Sophia is in right now – I don’t trust her not to rip it open before we leave the clinic.’
I laugh. ‘I’m not that bad.’
Marc kisses my forehead. ‘You’re not bad at all.’
As we leave the clinic, I clutch Marc excitedly. ‘Oh Marc! Everything’s okay with our baby. And it’s growing. It’s healthy. Are you sure you don’t want to find out if it’s a boy or a girl?’
‘I’m sure that you don’t want to know,’ says Marc. ‘I seem to recall you saying something about opening your Christmas presents before Christmas day. Or had you forgotten?’
I laugh. ‘Trust you to throw my words back at me.’
‘Do you want to phone your father? And Jen?’
‘I should, shouldn’t I—’
But as we walk out of the clinic, my words fall dead.
An army of photographers are waiting, circling the entrance in a big, black mass.
Marc’s lips set into a thin line. ‘Low lives.’ He puts an arm around my shoulder.
The photographers snap away and yell questions.
‘Sophia! Is it a boy or a girl Sophia? Marc – do you have any names yet? Do you know where the baby will be born?’
Marc steers me through the crowd. ‘OUT of our way,’ he barks.
The crowd widens, leaving a path for us.
I see the limo ahead, banked up on the curb.
As Marc ushers me inside, the photographers close in again.
I hear a photographer shout, ‘Are you sure the baby’s yours Marc? And not Leo Falkirk’s?’
There are a few murmurs of laughter.
Marc’s fist is so quick I don’t even see it. I just hear a smack and see a photographer sink to the floor.
The other photographers back off again.
Marc shakes out his fingers. ‘Tell him if he takes me to court, I’ll counter sue for slander.’
He climbs into the limo and slams the door.
Keith pulls back the driver window. ‘I’m sorry Marc. I tried to ring the clinic to warn you they were outside. But no one picked up.’
‘I told the clinic not to take calls while we were being treated,’ Marc growls. ‘I didn’t want press fishing to see if we were there. But someone must have tipped them off anyway.’
‘Cockroaches the lot of them,’ says Keith. He pulls the car out onto the road. ‘Could the clinic have told them?’
Marc shakes his head. ‘Impossible. I know the people at that clinic. They’re professionals. They would never tip off the press. It would ruin their reputation.’
‘The press always turn up at the worst moments,’ Keith speeds the car through an amber light. ‘When people are emotional. It was a good visit, I take it?’ There’s a note of concern in Keith’s voice.
‘Yes,’ says Marc. ‘The baby is healthy. That’s the main thing.’
‘That’s a relief. I thought with you knocking out that photographer … maybe … well thank goodness. Did you find out if it was a boy or a girl?’
Marc laughs. ‘You’re worse than Sophia.’
‘I’ll leave you two to talk about your visit in private.’ Keith slides the driver’s glass closed.
‘Marc,’ I say. ‘I’ve never seen you this way. So angry. It’s … sort of scary.’
‘You’re scared of me?’
‘No! I know you’d never hurt me. But I’ve never seen you punch anyone like that before. For no reason …’
‘No reason? He was muddying my wife’s name—’
‘I don’t care.’
‘Well I do.’
‘Marc. Since the pregnancy … you haven’t been yourself. Are you planning on telling me what’s going on?’
‘No. I’m not.’
‘But Marc—’
‘Now’s not the time Sophia.’ His voice softens. ‘Now should be a happy time.’
‘It is a happy time. I’m so happy. I can’t even tell you. Who cares about the press? The only thing that matters is our baby.’
‘I know.’
But Marc’s still frowning.
69
Filming Rapunzel takes us all the way through spring and summer, and some extra filming days are added in September too.
By then I’m pretty big. All my shots have to be from the neck up.
Luckily, Nadia arranged the schedule so that my body shots were taken early on. I have a body double to help me now.
My Rapunzel dress needs to be specially altered, and Marc insists I go shopping with Jen for maternity clothes.
The last day of filming ends up being on the September 5th – much later than we thought. But apparently that often happens with movies. I know it’s because Nadia wants to get everything absolutely right and shoot something amazing.
It’s sort of special – the last day. Because we all know we won’t see each other in a while. Not until the première, which is scheduled for next year.
I waddle onto the set at 6am, fanning myself and wishing the air conditioning worked better.
Ruby and Leo are already in the communal dressing room wearing their costumes.
‘Happy last day, mamma,’ says Leo. ‘Bet you’ll be glad to put your feet up, huh?’
‘You can say that again,’ I admit. ‘But it’s been fun. I’m glad I did this movie. I’m so lucky to be working with you again, Leo. And Ruby, it was great to have met you.’
‘Likewise,’ says Ruby, grinning and pulling on her fairy wings.
‘What are your plans when filming is finished?’ I ask.
‘Back to Australia,’ says Ruby. ‘To the loving arms of my boyfriend.’
‘Boyfriend? I didn’t know—’
‘I keep him quiet,’ says Ruby. �
�I don’t want the press bothering him. And anyway, it’s fun reading about all my so-called hook-ups in the magazines. The latest is that Leo and I have been going at it. Isn’t that right big boy?’
‘That’s right,’ Leo winks. ‘They seem to have forgotten I’m engaged to be married.’
We hear raised voices from the corridor, and know that Baz and Sigourney have arrived.
‘Are those two still arguing?’ says Ruby. ‘You would have thought they’d have run out of material by now.’
‘Sigourney?’ says Leo. ‘Never.’
‘I get the feeling Baz doesn’t mind the fighting,’ I say. ‘I think it leads to a lot of making up.’
Ruby laughs.
We fall silent as we hear Sigourney shriek, ‘Well, if you haven’t slept with her, why the fuck does she have your number?’
‘She’s my agent for crying out loud!’ Baz replies. ‘What – you want me to only work with men now?’
‘Just because she’s your agent, doesn’t mean you haven’t slept with her,’ Sigourney shouts.
‘Christ, give me strength.’
Baz and Sigourney appear in the doorway.
‘Good morning all,’ Baz says, giving us a tired smile. ‘I’m guessing you heard our little love-in, just now. Serves me right for going out with this crazy bitch.’
‘Oh so I’m crazy now?’ says Sigourney, marching past us to one of the dressing rooms. ‘Crazy is as crazy does.’
‘Jesus Christ,’ Baz shakes his head. ‘Sigourney. Darlin’, it’s the last day of filming. Can’t we just go one day without an argument?’
Sigourney doesn’t reply.
‘Great.’ Baz rolls his eyes. ‘The cold shoulder treatment. I wonder how long she’ll manage it this time. Probably until the party tonight. Then she’ll get drunk and start hitting me.’
‘What party?’ I ask.
‘The last day of filming party,’ says Leo. ‘Oh right. You’ve never worked with Nadia before, have you? She always has one, on set. So it’ll be right here as soon as we wrap up filming.’
‘Always,’ Ruby agrees. ‘A big show-stopping fabulous party to say bon voyage.’
‘It sounds great, but I need to tell Marc,’ I say. ‘He’s … pretty protective of me right now.’