She made it to the girls’ bathroom with three seconds to spare before she threw up everything in her stomach in several long, painful heaves. When she finally finished, when she had not one more drop of anything to expel from her system, she sat on the cold tile floor and let the emotion come.
She cried like a small child, unsure how she could possibly face anybody in that school again.
***
At the gentle rap on her doorframe, Easton looked up from her computer screen. Brandi White stood there, her face a canvas of forced neutrality.
Easton braced herself. Here we go. “Hi, Brandi. What can I do for you?”
Brandi cleared her throat and did a commendable impression of somebody who was a little bit nervous but trying to look like she wasn’t. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other and seemed like she didn’t want to step all the way into Easton’s office. “I just wanted to let you know that I emailed you the sales reports.” She glanced at the wood and brass clock on Easton’s shelf—whether it was intentional or not, Easton couldn’t tell—and Easton noticed that it was 11:45.
“Oh, my God, that’s fantastic.” Easton didn’t want to gush…mostly because this was the first time since she’d begun working in that building that the sales reports had come in when they were actually due. But she could hear Bella’s voice in the back of her mind, talking about being sure to praise your staff as often as you criticize, that it made for much more positive morale. “Thank you so much,” she said, shooting a smile Brandi’s way. “This is going to make people very happy. I really appreciate it, Brandi. Nice work.”
Brandi looked almost as surprised as Easton was by the entire exchange. Easton was pretty sure she’d seen a ghost of a smile on Brandi’s face. Which was crazy, as she’d decided a few weeks ago that Brandi, for whatever reason, lacked the ability to actually lift the corners of her mouth. At all.
With a quick one-nod of her head, Brandi said, “Thanks,” and disappeared back into the area of cubicles that housed the sales force.
Easton continued to stare at the doorway, smile on her face, slight disbelief still hanging out in her head. Dare she call that episode progress? Maybe. She couldn’t wait to tell Bella that night.
And there, she paused.
The night before, she’d found herself reflecting back on the whole sordid situation with Olivia. How it had started, how she’d felt when she’d fallen head over heels—which was harder to recall than the paralyzing pain she’d been saddled with once Olivia had decided to stay with the husband she didn’t love so that she didn’t have to deal with appearances. It was clear to Easton, when she got stuck in a rut of memories, that she hadn’t forgiven Olivia yet. She knew she needed to, for herself, not anybody else. But it was a tall order. She’d gone in blindly, trusting Olivia with her heart, and Olivia had simply dropped it on the floor where it shattered into a thousand agonizing pieces. It seemed like Olivia had merely shrugged, adopted an “oh, well” kind of attitude around them, and Easton had realized how misguided she’d been. How she’d let herself fall, convinced herself that this person she’d given her soul to loved her back the same way, with the same surety and intensity. It made her question her own judgment, and Easton didn’t need any extra help with that, thank you very much.
The point of all this reflecting was that it seemed to put up caution signs and bright orange traffic cones around her situation with Bella, around the things she was thinking and feeling. Slowing down, way down, was probably the best idea. Except all she wanted to do was kiss Bella again. God.
Easton braced her elbows on her desk, covered her mouth with the fingers of both hands, and let her breath out very slowly.
Okay. This didn’t have to be a big thing, right? She could just…take a step back. Not text every day. Maybe every other day instead. Good plan. She nodded to herself. Yeah. Good plan.
She was going to see Bella tonight, in a mere seven hours. The way her stomach fluttered made her roll her eyes at herself. God, I’m easy.
Seven hours. She’d get her Bella fix in seven hours and then be fine for a while. And they should maybe, probably skip the coffee tonight. For distance’s sake.
***
We’ll skip the coffee tonight.
That thought had been on Bella’s mind all day on Wednesday. She needed to step back. Monday night at the school had been a lovely surprise, had made Bella realize that any time she saw Easton when she wasn’t expecting to see Easton was a good thing. A great thing that set her heart to pounding and made her soul feel a little lighter. Things around Easton were confusing and wonderful and scary and she’d gotten texts from both Heather and Amy, each of them trying to be subtle—and failing—about reminding her to pump the brakes. And they were right. If Easton hadn’t had Emma with her, Bella might very well have dragged her to a darkened corner near the building and kissed her senseless.
So Bella did her best to hang on to those messages from her friends, to keep them in her head, as she entered the classroom Wednesday night and got ready for the conflict resolution class. Stepping back. Slowing down. Pumping the brakes. All good ideas.
How was it that any resolutions she had around Easton could evaporate so quickly at the mere sight of the woman? Easton was the fourth person to arrive, and she’d obviously come right from work, her sharp-looking black pantsuit giving her a sexy air of authority. Blond hair down and wavy, Easton strolled in, and when her eyes met Bella’s, everything about her seemed to…light up somehow. It was a vision of beauty.
“Hi,” she said softly, her expression nothing but happy to see Bella.
“Hey there,” Bella said back, and had to force her gaze away as Easton took her usual seat.
Class started, and Bella asked how they were doing, if they’d seen or felt anything they needed to talk about. She was surprised when Easton raised her hand.
“I had a staff member turn in a report on time, which I’ve been asking her to do since I started working there. She’s either balked or been snide about it every time. Until today.”
“Yeah?” Easton’s obvious happiness around this occurrence brought a smile to Bella’s lips. “And?”
“And I think I handled it really well.” Easton looked around at her coworkers. “I heard Bella’s voice in my head, reminding me to be as positive as I could, to not focus on just the negative.” She turned back to Bella. “So, that’s what I did. Even though what I really wanted to say was ‘it’s about damn time,’ I thanked her instead. I told her the higher-ups were going to be thrilled. And I told her she’d done a good job.”
“That’s great,” Mara Watson said, and reached across to give Easton’s arm a squeeze.
“It really was. We both sort of stayed there for a bit, just looking at each other. I think we were both a little surprised.”
“And how’d you feel afterward?” Bella asked.
“Relieved. Glad. Hopeful.” Easton’s expression showed all of those things right there on her gorgeous face.
“I had a similar thing happen,” Paul Antonassio offered, then told his story of connecting with an employee he’d struggled with.
Easton’s words jump-started an enthusiastic conversation where everybody hopped on board to talk about some of their recent experiences.
Bella offered a word here and there but mostly just listened, nodded, and grinned. There was no feeling quite like the one where you realize all the things you’ve been trying to teach to your students are not only being put into practice but have worked for them. She’d never really had any desire to be a teacher, but these moments made her understand the draw.
They spent more time sharing stories and talking over a few situations that might have been handled differently, and the hour went so quickly that Bella wondered for a moment if the clock on the wall was wrong. Folks began packing up their things, still smiling and pumped up, and Bella felt accomplished.
“Perk?” Easton asked as she shouldered her bag and walked toward the front of the room.
“Love to,” Bella said automatically.
“Great. I’ll meet you there.” Easton reached out and gave Bella’s hand a squeeze before heading out the door.
What just happened?
Bella stood there and blinked. So much for determination. So much for willpower. She shook her head, knowing this hadn’t been the plan. Knowing this was not even close to pumping the brakes.
And she didn’t care.
The reality was, there was no place in the world she’d rather be that night than sitting on a comfy couch with a good cup of coffee, getting to know Easton even better.
And it wasn’t something she was going to apologize for.
Chapter Fourteen
Easton let a low, quiet growl escape from her lips when she saw that their usual love seat at Perk was occupied. The late-May weather was gorgeous that evening and had apparently brought people out of the woodwork. The whole block seemed to bustle with activity, which was unusual for a Wednesday evening.
There was a small, round table for two in a back corner, so she carried two cups of coffee over to it and set herself up so she could see the door, wave to Bella as she arrived. She got herself comfortable, took a sip of her coffee, let it slide down her throat, and felt it warm her insides like fuel. She didn’t want to think about how badly she’d failed her “we’re going to slow things down” plan, how the coffee invite had just flown out of her mouth before she had time to think. To shut that subject away for the moment, she studied her surroundings instead. The crowd was rather eclectic tonight, a mix of young hipsters and middle-aged yuppies with a smattering of college kids thrown in. The three guys to her right were having a heated debate about hockey while a group of seeming business professionals conversed about the possibility of layoffs coming to their company. Easton was so intent on her eavesdropping that she didn’t realize Bella was there until she spoke.
“Hi.” Bella pulled out a chair and pointed to the second cup. “Is that for me?”
“It is. Dark roast with a little cream.” Easton slid the cup to her, watched her blush prettily.
“You remembered.” Bella sat, her eyes sparkling. That pleasant little fluttering that seemed to only happen when Bella was near her started up in Easton’s stomach.
“I did.” Easton loved when Bella’s cheeks got rosy like that, and she reached across and rubbed her thumb across one, which made Bella blush harder.
It was a moment. An intimate one. They both felt it, Easton was certain.
“What did you find out?” Bella asked, voice lowered, and rolled her eyes first left, then right, indicating the other patrons.
Easton quietly filled her in on the conversations she’d heard and the conclusions she’d drawn. Bella smiled with gentle amusement the whole time. Finally, Easton shifted in her seat and propped her chin on her hand. “So, tell me about your day.”
Bella seemed to relax a bit, seemed to sink into her chair a bit, like some of the tension had left her body, and Easton loved that this was her reaction when they were together. She wanted to think she had a hand in Bella feeling comfortable. Happy. Bella’s face opened as she began to talk, and Easton had a sudden, unbidden vision of this conversation happening each night at the dinner table as they ate. She tried to ignore the image as Bella spoke about two clients she’d seen that day—always respectful of their privacy and never mentioning names.
“That’s the woman who wants to leave her husband, right?” Easton asked, to clarify Bella’s story.
“Yes.” Bella sipped her coffee. “She’s been building up to it for the past fourteen or fifteen months and I think it’s finally about to happen.”
“Is it the right decision for her?”
“In my opinion? Absolutely. I can’t tell her that, of course.” Bella held her hands up in surrender. “I am the Queen of Neutrality.”
Easton chuckled. “Right, right. Your job is to help her figure out her path on her own.”
Bella pointed at her. “Exactly.”
“And the other guy is the one whose girlfriend left him?”
With a nod, Bella said, “Yeah. About six months ago. He’s had such a rough go of it. I was worried about him for a bit there, but I really think he’s turned a corner.”
“That’s got to be a relief.”
“It is. It really is.”
They sat in silence for a beat, and Easton allowed herself time to study the glow of pride on Bella’s face. “You really like your work,” she finally said, and the way the smile blossomed onto Bella’s face made her glad she did.
“I love it. I really do. I feel like it’s what I was meant to do.” She sipped. “I mean, maybe not the teaching upper management businesspeople how to deal with their unruly staff, but…”
Easton laughed. “That’s got to be so lame.”
“You have no idea.”
“But the rest of it is good.”
“Yes. Very.”
Easton took a sip of her coffee, her eyes on Bella as she did. Eye contact with Bella was…intense somehow. A little bit electric. She was suddenly seized with the urge to know everything she possibly could about this woman who drew her so strongly. “Who’s your person?” she asked.
“My person?” Bella furrowed her brow.
“Yeah, like, the person you go to for anything and everything. When you’re depressed. When you’re happy. Who knows all your secrets?”
“Oh, my person. I see. I have two.”
“Yeah?”
“My suitemates from college. Amy and Heather. We got so amazingly lucky to find each other. We just clicked, and we still do. We tell each other everything.” Bella’s face lit up when she talked about her friends. She became more animated. Lighter. It was somehow uplifting to see it, and Easton basked. “What about you?”
“I have two as well.”
Bella’s grin widened at that. “Kindred spirits. Who?”
“My friend Shondra, who you met at Teddy’s that night, and like I told you at dinner, my grandpa.”
“Right. I remember that. Tell me more about your grandpa again.”
Easton felt her heart swell with love, as it did every time she thought about her relationship with him. “He’s the best. He just…gets me. My grandma, too, but him the most. They’re so far ahead of their time.”
Bella sipped her coffee, her eyes staying on Easton over the rim of the mug. “How so?”
Easton inhaled deeply and let it out, looked off into the distance as she thought about her grandparents, conjuring up their faces in her mind’s eye. “They’re just so…open. My family can be a bit tightly wound. Like I told you, they’re all doctors, so precision in many things is necessary. But it can bleed into parts of life that it doesn’t have to.” She pulled one corner of her mouth to the side in a half-grimace. “I’m kind of the black sheep, and I think my grandparents are the only ones who not only get that but are fine with it. I told you that my grandpa was the first person I told that I didn’t want to be a doctor, but I didn’t tell you that he came with me when I told my parents. Thank God, because I think it would’ve gotten way uglier if I’d told them by myself.” She took a sip of her coffee, then looked back up at Bella, who was watching her with calm interest. “He’s one of the few people who know about Olivia.”
“Your grandpa?” Bella asked, her surprise clear. “I know you said he knew about why you left your marriage, but I didn’t know he knew the details.”
Easton laughed softly. “He does. All of them, which was the first time I was ever ashamed to tell him something.”
“Why were you ashamed?” Bella’s voice was tender, her eyes soft and kind.
“Hey, Grandpa, I miss you. Just so you know, I’m leaving my husband. By the way, I’ve been having an affair with a married woman, too. Yeah, I like girls now. Say hi to Grandma for me.”
“Wow. That is…” Bella shook her head as she seemed to search for the right words, a small chuckle bubbling up from deep within her. “Okay, first of a
ll, stop beating yourself up like that. You’ve liked girls for a while. You’ve said so. And, unfortunately, it’s really hard to control who you fall for. As far as I can tell, you were just finally learning to accept yourself. You were deciding to live honestly, to be who you are. Olivia being married doesn’t have a whole lot to do with it. I’m sure your grandfather understood that.”
Easton took some time to absorb Bella’s words, to let herself feel the comfort of them. “He seemed to.”
“He seems like a super, super cool man.”
“He is.”
“I envy you.” Bella’s tone was tinted by…something Easton couldn’t put a finger on.
Their gazes held, and the level of absolute ease was almost palpable for Easton; she couldn’t remember ever feeling that way before. She let a beat of silence pass. Two. She used the little black stir stick in what remained of her coffee, swirled it around, and watched the little whirlpool it created. The words were there on the tip of her tongue. She wanted to say them but was hesitant. This was all moving so fast, and the way she’d found herself feeling about Bella was alarming. I shouldn’t say anything. That thought was prominent. And loud. At the same time, she thought about honesty and being forthright and how important that was. Olivia hadn’t understood that, but Easton did. “Can I ask you something?” Her voice was quiet, and she took a second before she looked up at Bella.
“Of course.”
“Do you think this,” she made a gesture between the two of them, “is moving too fast?” The laugh that burst from Bella’s lips in that moment was startling. It shot out like a gunshot, and she slapped a hand over her mouth, as if trying to contain it. Easton couldn’t help but laugh along with her. Once they’d calmed, she said, “Why is that funny?”
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