The rest of the group cheered and I found myself herded toward the back of the warehouse and out of the barn. It was dark outside, but my eyes adjusted quickly, able to make out more people outside. Two men were brawling near the woods, but Axel and his friends walked past like nothing was going on.
“I thought you were all pacifists,” I said, gesturing to the fighting men.
Axel shrugged. “They're just having a disagreement.”
I watched as one guy flipped the other guy under him and started pummeling his face with both fists. “It looks a bit more serious than that.”
Axel turned to face me. “I'm a pacifist and I won't let my pack fight with outsiders or anywhere we can be seen, but not everyone is as peaceful as me. As long as they follow the rules, I stay out of it.”
The guy on the bottom, the one getting beaten, shifted to wolf and flipped the other guy off him. He put his paws on his chest and growled down at him. The guy underneath swore at the wolf, but shifted, too, and the fight continued.
I shook my head and ran to catch up with the others. Even though I'd shifted a few times, I wasn't sure I'd ever get used to seeing humans become wolves.
Axel gestured me forward and climbed on a beat-up, muddy four-wheeler. His friends were on four-wheelers of their own. I climbed onto the back, having no idea what to expect, and got comfortable. I didn't wrap my arms around Axel's waist and I didn't press my cheek between his shoulder blades. We needed distance. Learning how to be a wolf had to take priority over a relationship, before I became any more dependent on him than I already was.
He started the four-wheeler and followed the others through the forest on yet another bouncy, dirt trail. I was sick of bouncing. I missed the smooth pavement of LA. We bounced up the side of the mountain for what felt like hours but was probably closer to fifteen minutes. We finally stopped and I hopped off before Axel could help me. I dodged his hand and joined the others at a set of rickety wooden steps.
Behind me, the four wheelers' engines revved and I looked back to see them now occupied by teenagers who whooped and drove at top speed down the mountain. “You wreck it, you buy it,” Axel yelled after them.
There was some more whooping in response and Axel shook his head. “We can't afford to keep replacing them. I'm going to have to ban those kids from any and all motorized devices.”
“Lighten up,” Freddie said. She handed both me and Axel harnesses, and we stepped into them and tightened the straps. “Where are the helmets?” I asked, looking around. I'd zip lined before, I knew the drill.
They all laughed like I'd made a ridiculous joke. I looked over at Axel and he smiled. “The kids wrecked whatever helmets we had doing stupid shit. It's safer not to give these people helmets. Makes them think a little harder about what they're going to do.”
“Right.” I thought I hung out with daredevils and risk-takers, but this pack had all my UFC friends beat. “I kind of like my brain. You sure you don't have a spare helmet lying around anywhere?”
“Nope,” Axel said. He didn't touch me, hadn't touched me, since we'd left the party. I was grateful for the space. I hadn't liked him touching me, anyway. “But the zip line is safe. Someone checks it out a few times a day to make sure.”
I followed the others up the rickety steps to a platform. There weren't many steps, so I figured we couldn't be up that high, but when I looked over the edge of the platform, all I saw was darkness below, the ground completely out of sight, even with my new wolf vision.
“How far does this thing go?” I asked.
No one answered me. Lara hooked herself to the zip line and hurtled down into the darkness. I watched her go, almost straight downhill, the trees so close to the zip line it looked like she could easily run into one of them if she got the slightest bit out of line. The others took their turns down the zip line, leaving me and Axel alone. I was happy to go last. Rationally, the zip line was safe and often used, but it was dark and I'd be zipping into a complete unknown.
“You go first,” Axel said. “I'll be right behind you.”
“Sounds good.” I bounced on my toes, taking comfort in the stance I took when I was about to fight, pushing aside fear and doubts and focusing on anticipation and excitement. I strapped onto the zip line, like I'd seen the others do, lifted my feet, and took off. I mean. I. Took. Off. I screamed at the sudden rush of air, at the way I seemed to be heading right for the trees, at the darkness all around and under me. I screamed once for surprise and fear and then I screamed for joy. I was flying through the dark forest, hurtling toward a complete unknown, but the ride was undeniably thrilling. Before I was ready for it to end, I saw the next platform. I lifted my feet and I landed. I unstrapped and hopped out of the way as Axel hurtled in behind me.
“How was it?” he asked.
“That was amazing. Can we do it again?”
His grin was immediate, his earlier hesitation gone. “Of course.”
So, we went back up the mountain and did it again. There were zip lines all over the mountain and Lara and the others joined us in finding them and trying them out. As the sky pinked toward dawn, we shifted to wolves and ran together in the fresh mountain air.
We returned to the party, human and dressed, as the sun rose. The crowd had thinned, but not as much as I'd expected. “You want to mingle some more, or do you want to go home?” Axel asked. He was standing a few feet from me, still giving me space. I couldn't, in that moment, remember why I'd wanted space.
I yawned and stretched. “I need some sleep. When is the meeting to discuss the valley wolves?”
“Not until three.”
“Then sleep sounds good.”
We walked together back to his house, but he hesitated on the porch. “I asked around and Lucinda has space for you if you'd like to stay there. Her roommate is hiking the pacific coast trail, just left yesterday, or I would have suggested it sooner.”
I hadn't believed him when he'd said no one had space for me. I'd thought it was just a trick, a little white lie, to have me stay at his place, but I'd been wrong. There really had been nowhere else for me to stay and, now that he'd found a place, he was ready for me to leave. Which was good. I needed space. “Great. When can I move in?”
His smile didn't slip, but his jaw tensed the smallest bit. “Today. She's looking forward to you staying with her.”
“That's so sweet,” I said, my enthusiasm forced. “I'll just grab my bag and be out of your hair.”
He nodded, but he didn't move, so I walked past him, my bare arm brushing his, my hand bouncing off his. I tried the door, only to find it locked. He pressed against my back, a whisper away from contact, and fitted the key in the lock. He twisted and pushed the door open. I hurried inside. I needed to get away. I didn't want to leave. I wanted to throw myself in his arms and kiss him until I forgot all the reasons I needed space, but I couldn't do that. Everything was happening way too fast, way too soon, and I needed to use my brain. I needed to remember to protect myself.
“Lucinda's place is two doors down from Krista's.” He was behind me again, so close his words caressed my skin. “I can drive you.”
I was exhausted, ready to drop, but I couldn't be in the car with him, smelling him, having him so close, and not touch him. “It's not that far. I can walk.”
I grabbed my suitcase. It was already packed. I hadn't left anything out, hadn't wanted to make a mess, hadn't wanted to get too comfortable. I rolled it to the door, but Axel blocked my path. There were dark circles under his eyes and his hair was sticking up in every direction. He hadn't shaved since we'd gotten back to town and he was looking every bit the mountain man I should not be attracted to, should not want. But I did want him, more than I'd wanted him before. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and kiss his neck, taste his saltiness. His lips moved, lips I wanted to taste, and I realized he'd spoken and I hadn't heard a word he'd said.
“What?”
I expected a cocky smirk, expected him to call me out on watching
his lips and not listening to him, but he just looked sad. “You can't lug that suitcase all the way to Lucinda's. Let me drive you.”
“What are you doing?” I asked, too tired to pretend I didn't want to know.
He didn't pretend confusion. Maybe he was too tired for games, too. “I've made it clear how I feel, Julie, but I'm not going to force you into anything. You want space and I'm giving you space. I won't push, won't ask for anything from you, until you come to me, until you decide you want me.”
“I won't see you at all?”
“Only in my capacity as alpha or a coincidental meeting around town.”
My eyes burned. Why did I feel like I was being dumped? This is what I wanted. I shook my head, trying to clear it. I wasn't thinking straight. Couldn't think straight around him. “Thank you,” I said. Because it might feel like I was being dumped, but what he was doing, giving me space to make my own choice was huge. It was one more reason to trust him, to trust he'd never hurt me or try to control me.
His expression lightened a bit. “You can come here and use the gym any time you want. I won't read anything into it. And you can come here to see me any time you want. You're calling the shots now.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “Anything you ask, I'll give it to you if I can.”
I just stared at him, not understanding how he knew what I needed, how he understood that I needed to have control. “Did you hear my thoughts? Did you read my mind?”
“No,” he said, smiling. “I pay attention to what you don't say as much as to what you do say because I want to know you, all of you.”
And I realized I wanted to know him, too. As soon as I'd figured out this wolf thing, as soon as I got my feet back under me, got my confidence back and found my place in the pack, I wanted to get to know him. I wanted to meet him on equal footing and learn his interior as thoroughly as I'd learned his exterior. The realization should have scared me, but I trusted him. I believed he'd never hurt me. He'd proved that to me repeatedly.
“Okay,” I said, unable to bite back my smile.
“Okay?” he asked, his own smile open, if somewhat vulnerable.
“Okay, you can drive me to Lucinda's house.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
A woman in a tie-dyed maxi dress, stepped onto the porch as Axel and I walked up the front walk. The house was a mirror image of Krista's place, except it was yellow instead of blue.
I stepped up onto the porch and held out my hand. “I'm Julie.”
I try not to stereotype or make assumptions, but the woman was dressed in tie-dye, with flowers in her hair and a tiny stud nose ring, she had delicate features, short dark hair, and enormous blue eyes, and I assumed she'd be the laid-back flower child type. She grasped my hand in her own, squeezing hard enough to hurt, and shook. “You're an idiot is what you are.”
I looked back over my shoulder at Axel, who smirked. Was that whole thing about setting me free to see if I'd come back a joke? Had he known Lucinda would be like this. “I'm sorry,” I said. “Have we met?”
“You want to live with me, rather than stay with Axel, right?”
“I've only known him a few days. It doesn't seem unreasonable to want a place of my own.”
She sniffed, her tiny nose wrinkling in an adorable way. “This is my place. You want your own place, you should talk to Herbert and have him build you one.”
“Luce,” Axel said. “Like I told you, I've already talked to Herbert and he's going to work on it.”
I glanced back at Axel again, more than a little annoyed. He chuckled. Damn him. “He's not going to build anything until he talks to you about what you want, Julie.” He stuck his hands in his pockets and turned to go, leaving my suitcase on the porch. “I'll see you at three. At the barn.”
I turned back to Lucinda. “Herbert's building me a place. Can I stay here for a bit?”
She sniffed again. “You can stay until Brooke gets back, but not a moment longer. I don't care if Herbert's done or not, you'll have to find somewhere else to stay.”
“That won't be a problem,” I said, even though I suspected it might be a huge problem.
Lucinda narrowed her eyes like she knew I was full of shit, but she opened the door and gestured me inside. “I like a clean house and I don't cook for anyone. You want to eat, buy your own food and cook it yourself. If you make a mess, steal my food, or make too much noise I will send you back to Axel.” She glared at me over her shoulder. “I don't care if he is the alpha, I'll send you back.” She couldn't be that much older than me, but she acted like she was my superior in every way.
The house was impeccably clean. So clean there were no pictures on the walls and no knick-knacks on the tables, not that there were a lot of tables or available spaces for knick-knacks.
“I understand,” I said. “I'm exhausted and I really just want a place to sleep.”
“This way.” She led me through the narrow house and pointed out a room with a twin bed and not much else. It suited me, I didn't need much else. “Don't let me know if you need anything.”
“Why are you letting me stay here?” I asked, too curious not to. “You clearly don't want me here and—”
“If I didn't want you here, you wouldn't be here. I don't know what things are like where you're from, but in Mule Creek we help each other out when necessary.”
Having fully insulted me, she spun and walked back to the front of the house. I rolled my suitcase into the bedroom, shut the door, and dropped onto the bed. I set the alarm on my phone to wake me up in three hours and was asleep before I'd taken my shoes off.
***
I was still exhausted when I woke up three hours later, and my mouth tasted like cotton, but I forced myself to sit up and get moving. My empty stomach, growling at me like a hungry lion, helped to motivate me to walk into town to the diner. It was only eleven in the morning, so I figured most people would still be sleeping, but the diner was packed. I was about to turn around and leave when Clarissa shouted my name and waved me over to her table, which was in the back corner.
I made my way over there and saw that she was with another woman, tall and thin with a face like a supermodel, but dressed like she'd just rolled out of bed, and two dirty men in shorts and t-shirts. I couldn't really make out their faces because there was so much dirt on them. And because they both sported bushy beards and long hair. They looked even more mountain man than Axel had looked when I met him.
“Hey everyone, this is Julie,” Clarissa said. “Julie this is Rowan, Herbert, and Doug. Do you want to join us for brunch?”
“Sure.” I pulled out a chair and sat, careful not to stare at Herbert and Doug. Was that dried mud in their hair or…?
“Don't mind them,” Rowan said, gesturing at the guys. “They started a mud wrestling tournament as the sun came up this morning.”
“No time for a shower?” I asked.
“This mud,” Doug said, “is a badge of honor. We beat every person who stepped into that mud pit with us.”
“Plus,” said Herbert, “mud is excellent for your pores.”
Doug slapped him on the back of his head. “Dude, spa mud is good for your pores, not the shit you dig out of the ground.”
Herbert seemed unbothered by the slap. “I don't have spa mud and my pores feel great.”
“You're supposed to rinse off the mud after the mud bath,” I said. “If you leave it on too long, it can clog your pores and cause breakouts.”
“Really?” Herbert asked, sitting up straighter. If he were in wolf form, I swear his ears would be standing at full attention.
“Sure. My best friend owns a spa in LA.” Her spa didn't have a mud bath, but dried mud was flaking off those guys and onto the table. It was just gross.
Doug and Herbert exchanged a look and stood in unison. “We'll see you later,” Herbert said. “Nice meeting you, Julie.”
“You, too,” I said to their retreating backs.
“You're my new hero,” Clarissa said, to the accompaniment of
Rowan's laughter. “We've been trying to get those guys to leave for the past fifteen minutes.”
I shrugged. “No problem. What's good here?”
Clarissa and Rowan exchanged a look. “I wouldn't say good is exactly the right word for brunch,” Rowan said. “And there's no options. Pretty much the whole town shows up the day after a barn party and Morris just cooks a shit ton of the same stuff, scrambled eggs, bacon, and hash browns.”
“Sounds good to me,” I said.
“Jelly said you moved in with Lucinda,” Clarissa said. “How's that going?”
“It's great. I'm grateful to her for taking me in.”
Clarissa smirked. “Really? You wouldn't be lying because you don't want to admit you'd rather be living with Axel, would you?”
“Can you smell a lie?” I'd read that in a book once and I didn't really believe it was possible. If she couldn't smell sex, how could she smell a lie? But it seemed like a safe way to change the subject.
Clarissa laughed.
“It's not such a crazy idea,” Rowan said. “People tend to sweat when they lie and we can smell that.”
“Sure,” Clarissa said. “But sometimes people sweat because it's an uncomfortable subject, or it's hot out, or they're under stress. It's not definitive.”
“But it's a clue,” Rowan said.
Clarissa sighed. “You are not going to convince me you can detect a lie well enough to infiltrate the Aspens Whiten pack and find out who stole the spirit stick.”
The waitress appeared by my elbow and set a glass of water in front of me. “The usual?” she asked. “Or extra?”
I looked at Clarissa for help. “How hungry are you?” she asked.
“Starving,” I said.
“Extra,” Clarissa said to the waitress.
The waitress scribbled something on her pad and hurried off.
“What's a spirit stick?” I asked. “Isn't that something you use at summer camp as a reward for team spirit?”
“No,” Rowan said. “It's a six-foot stick that's carved by the master craftsman, Herbert, and represents the virility of the pack. It contains the seeds of our future and the strength of our past.”
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