I shook my head. “Trust me, Lizzy, I’m still the same old boring Zara.”
Lizzy looked at me with what seemed to be a blank stare. “If you say so,” she said at normal speed, awful slow for Lizzy. The homeroom first period bell rang. Literally saving me.
Pointing to Mr. Bell’s room I said, “Time to get to class.”
Lizzy smiled, “Yes, I so love a math test in the morning!”
Lizzy raced into the room. The rest of us sighed and reluctantly followed.
Chapter 10: By The Numbers
We walked into Mr. Bell’s classroom and took our seats. I sat next to Maria. Ming and Matti sat behind us. Mr. Bell nervously paced back and forth in the space between his desk and the blackboard. Mr. Bell looked really old and his large round balding head was out of proportion with his skinny body. And he always seemed to be drenched in sweat. Several times a day he would wipe the wetness off his forehead. Gross!
“Settle quickly, class,” Mr. Bell said. “I’ll check attendance before I begin the test.”
The entire classed groaned, except for Lizzy, who happily clapped. Mr. Bell sat down behind the desk and started matching the kids to his seating chart.
I leaned slightly towards Maria, squinted with one eye and thought really hard, “Scan Mr. Bell’s thoughts.”
“Already have,” Maria thought back to me. “He’s wondering how many of us are unprepared for the test and thinking that he should have taken the day off and gone fishing.” She paused for a second then added, “You know, you don’t have to try to think extra hard. We have a mental link.”
“Scan the kids in the class,” I thought back.
“Really?”
“Yes, really Maria. See if any of them are thinking about ghosts.”
Silence. I assumed that meant Maria agreed with me.
“Done,” Maria said in my head, “but you know that was absurd!”
“You don’t know Maria, up until VERY recently I didn’t even know about ghosts. And that was fast.”
“People think fast,” she replied. “I don’t need or like to stay in their heads long. I picked up a thought and left.”
“So you could read everybody?”
Maria nodded. “Yeah and not a ghost thought anywhere. Lizzy is humming a Katy Perry song. Ming is hoping she can beat Lizzy in this test. Matti is wondering what’s on TV tonight. I can go on…”
“No, that’s cool. Hey, you can mentally give me answers to the test questions?” I thought, mostly kidding.
“Dream on and concentrate on your paper,” Maria’s responded bluntly.
I followed her advice.
Mr. Bell gave us twenty-two minutes to finish our test on simplifying common fractions and factors. All the while, he sat at his desk, looking anxiously at the clock while tapping both a finger and his foot. It seemed extra weird even for a math teacher. Fractions aren’t my favorite subject but I could figure out most of the questions.
After the allotted twenty-two minutes, Mr. Bell shot up from his chair and shouted, “Pencils down! The testing time is now over.”
Lizzy had finished at least five minutes before the end of the test time limit. Ming, Maria and a few others had also finished early. I had just answered the last question. I put down my pencil, and breathed a little sigh of relief.
Mr. Bell walked to the front of the first row of desks and started collecting tests. Suddenly he screamed, “Yikes!”
He leapt up on top of his desk in a move that I wouldn’t have thought possible for a man of his age. Sweating even more profusely than normal, he pointed to the floor and screamed in a high pitch voice, “A mouse! A mouse! A mouse!”
Looking in the direction of his pointing, sure enough, Hammy ran across the floor.
Lizzy reacted before I had a chance to. She bent down from her chair and scoped Hammy up. Showing Hammy to a shuddering Mr. Bell, she said, “Don’t be a fraidy cat, Mr. Bell. It’s not a mouse. It’s a hamster. I believe it’s Zara’s hamster.”
Lizzy started walking towards me, Hammy in hand. She had a huge smile on her face.
“It, I mean, he is, my, ah, hamster,” I said, slipping down in my chair, not thrilled to admit it. How did Lizzy even know I had a hamster? Lizzy really did know everything.
“He’s so cute!” Lizzy said, petting Hammy on the head. She proudly handed Hammy over to me, her face was beaming.
Looking at Hammy I said, “He’s cute, but a LOT of trouble.”
Mr. Bell stopped shaking some. He crawled down from his desk to the floor, where he stood up straight. Wrinkled and wet, it looked like he had just gotten out of a washing machine. He wiped his forehead with his sleeve. It didn’t help.
“Zara, bringing a hamster to school is wrong,” he scolded.
“I hope you’re not going to punish her, Mr. Bell,” Lizzy said.
Mr. Bell shook his head. “No, my job is to educate, not punish.”
I breathed a little sigh of relief.
Mr. Bell pointed towards the door. “Zara, report to Principal Charmer’s office now!” he ordered. “It’s his job to do the punishing around here.”
I stood up. Not worth arguing. Besides, I could use this to my advantage. Turning to Maria, I said, “See? I told you it was wrong to bring Hammy to school.” I gave her a little wink.
Maria snapped her pencil in half. “Thanks for including me,” she said in a snarky tone.
I waited. She didn’t return my wink. The rest of the class, except for Lizzy, all made a collective “whooooo….”
Mr. Bell’s eyes shot out of his head. “Maria is this true? Did you encourage Zara to do this?”
Maria lowered her eyes. “Yes,” she said meekly. “He’s just so cute…”
The class giggled.
Mr. Bell pointed to the door with his other hand. “In that case, you can join ZARA in Mr. Charmer’s office!”
Maria stood up. She glared at me. “Thanks, Zara.”
Some of the class started to snigger out loud. Maria glared at them and the snickering stopped. Taking my arm, Maria pulled me to a standing position.
“Come on!” she ordered.
Chapter 11: The Teacher, The Counselor, and The Charmer
The moment Maria, Hammy, and I got into the hallway, Hammy started to smile. I found it a bit creepy. With the hall being empty Hammy knew he could start blabbing away.
“Pretty great plan I had back there!” Hammy bragged.
“Oh yes, brilliant plan,” I said rolling my eyes.
Maria elbowed me hard in the ribs. “I especially appreciate you pulling me into this plan.”
I looked at her. “You know, Hammy’s brilliant plan would have been useless without you.”
Maria sighed. “I know…”
Giving her a weak smile I said. “At least this way we get out of Ms. Nina’s art class and probably Mr. Burns’ history class.”
“I like those classes,” Maria said. “Today Mr. Burns was going to talk about Ronald Reagan’s second term as president in the 80’s. I love ancient history!”
“So you’ll be missing Ms. Nina’s class?” a voice said from behind us.
We turned towards that voice. We saw Ms. Nina, the art teacher. She always looked amazing, young and totally cool. Most of the students in my school (both boys and girls) had a bit of a crush on her. My grandma called her a throwback to the “flower children”, whatever that meant. The kids always joked that she was Lizzy “secret” mother. Ms. Nina liked the students to call her Carolina, because she insisted “Ms. Nina” made her sound so old. Of course, none of us really did that.
“Ah, hi, Ms. Nina,” I said meekly. “What are you doing in the hall?”
“I’m first period hall monitor,” she said. Ms. Nina put her hands on her hips and smiled at us. “Why are you two in the hall? And, more importantly, why will you be missing my class?”
Maria poked me in the ribs. “Because of him…”
“What’s going on, Zara? Don’t you like art? Everybody
should like art. Art is life,” Ms. Nina said.
I produced Hammy, holding him out so Ms. Nina could see him. “I made a mistake, I was stupid and brought my hamster to school today.”
Ms. Nina smiled. Reaching out, she scratched Hammy on the forehead. I swear I heard Hammy purr. I think Hammy has a crush on her too!
“He’s so cute!” Ms. Nina said.
Lowering my eyes, I said, “He also got us a special trip to the principal’s office.”
Ms. Nina stopped her petting. “Well, I can’t blame you for wanting to spend time with such a wonderful creature. I’m sure everything will work out fine.” She turned and walked - really kind of danced - away.
“I like Ms. Nina, but she certainly is different,” I said softly.
“In a good way,” Maria added.
“Did you hear that?” Hammy said. “She said I was cute! Can I take art class? I always wanted to take art class!”
We turned and continued towards the principal’s office. We managed to get about hundred feet closer to Principal Charmer’s office when we passed by guidance counselor…Ms. Vance’s office. Ms. Vance always kept her door open unless she had a student in there. So, of course, she saw us walk by. So, of course, she had to say something.
“Zara, may I see you for a moment?” she called.
Maria and I stopped walking. We backtracked a few steps to Ms. Vance’s office. I looked in.
“Hi, Ms. Vance,” I said.
“What are you and Maria doing in the hallway during class time?” Ms. Vance asked.
Ms. Vance a tall woman with long dark blonde hair and always professionally dressed, looked far too together to be working as a middle school guidance counselor. She wore red glasses and they looked great on her face.
“Ah,” I started. I always liked Ms. Vance. She seemed to always want to be helpful. I didn’t want to get on her bad side, but I didn’t want to lie to her either. Besides, I knew she would learn about my transgression soon enough.
Taking a step back, I held out my hand, showing her Hammy. I figured that his charm had worked on Ms. Nina, maybe his charisma would work here, too.
Ms. Vance smiled. “He’s cute. Only, this isn’t Take Your Pet to School Day. In fact, we got rid of Take Your Pet to School Day when Greg Sweet’s rabbit bit Mr. Thomas in the…well, you know where…”
I so remembered that day. I couldn’t help smiling. Turning my attention back to Ms. Vance, I said, “I know. I just wanted to show Hammy to some friends.”
“Hammy? You named your hamster Hammy? Hmmm, and your aptitude tests always show that you are so smart,” Ms. Vance said, raising her right eyebrow.
“I was a kid when I named him.”
Ms. Vance looked at Maria. “So, why are you here, too, Maria?”
Maria sighed. “It was sort of my idea, I guess. I didn’t think she would actually do it.”
“Maria, you’re old enough now and certainly smart enough to realize that you shouldn’t talk your friend into breaking the rules.”
“Yeah, my bad,” Maria said.
Ms. Vance’s looked at us. “As far as transgressions go, that is a very mild one. I am sure Principal Charmer will go easy on you.”
“I hope so,” I said.
Ms. Vance pointed to Principal Charmer’s office. “You better get going. Don’t want to add being tardy to the charges.”
“You hear that?” Hammy whispered as we were walking away. “She thinks I’m cute, too! Man, I should go to this school!”
“Calm down, Hammy. Trust me, it would never work out between you and my teachers,” I said.
Hammy nodded. “Well...we ARE all mammals,” he sighed, I could see he was thinking of arguments to come to school. “But you’re right. My mom wants me to marry somebody with four legs. She’s SO old fashioned.”
When we walked into Principal’s Charmers office, Miss Gibbs his assistant, greeted us with a sneer. Miss Gibbs always wore her brown hair up like a beehive shape. Apparently she never got the fashion memo that the hairstyle went out of style thirty years ago.
“Yes, children?” Miss Gibbs barked.
She had to know why we had been sent here. After all, Mr. Bell had to have called down to the office to tell them to expect us. Miss Gibbs just wanted us to say it out loud.
“We are here to see Principal Charmer,” I said.
Miss Gibbs looked down her nose at us. Which isn’t easy to do when you are sitting. She started waving one finger, “Tsk, tsk…”
“Ah, just go to sleep, you horrible old woman!” Maria ordered.
Miss Gibbs stopped waving her finger. Her eyes smashed shut. Her head dropped to her desk.
“Maria!” I exclaimed.
“I’m not in the mood,” Maria told me. “Let’s get this over with.”
Maria knocked on the door that to Principal Charmer’s office.
“Come in,” a strong gruff voice said from behind the door.
We pushed the door open. There sat Principal Charmer behind his big desk in the small room. Principal Charmer was bald, muscular man and he was large. So large, it looked like he could barely fit into his own cramped office. Kids say he use to be a Navy Seal; I can believe it. He had tired eyes, like a man who had been a middle school principal for way too long.
“Miss Johnson, Miss Lopez,” he said slowly. “I understand you had a problem in Mr. Bell’s class…”
Drooping my head trying to seem both guilty and full of sorrow at once, I said, “Yes, I slipped up and brought my pet to school.”
Maria just stood there. I elbowed her gently in the ribs.
“Yes,” Maria said in a freaky monotone voice, obviously using her mojo on Principal Charmer. “You should punish us by making us clean the basement now.”
Principal Charmer shook his head. “You both realize that bringing an animal into the school is in violation of safety code 13XZ. Never know what exotic diseases pets can be carrying. So, I will have to punish you by making you clean the basement.”
“We understand,” I said.
Principal Charmer pointed a big meaty hand towards the door. “Now. Go. Now!”
We turned and walked out.
“This better not go on my record,” Maria said.
“I do not carry any diseases,” Hammy said.
“Big picture people. Big picture,” I said.
“I’m not a people!” Hammy protested.
“Big picture, person and hamster,” I said, putting hammy in my pocket.
Chapter 12: Basement Blues
On our way to the basement we stopped at Janitor Sheri’s office. I figured if cleaning the basement was our cover, we should have brooms. Janitor Sheri had been the school’s janitor for, I don’t know, forever. Not to sound rude, but she freaked me out. She had long gray hair, parted in the middle, her hair ran all the way down her back. She was tall and boney, so boney her fingers looked bent. She also had one glass eye. Rumor had it she smiled exactly once in her life, after some kid slipped in his own barf.
Janitor Sheri shared her tiny broom closet sized office, with all her cleaning equipment. She stood there, back to the door, organizing something. We approached her slowly, on her good eye’s side.
“What do you kids want?” she demanded, voice cracking, not bothering to turn around.
“We’d like to borrow two brooms,” I said, mustering as much courage in my voice as possible.
“Why?” she squawked, still not turning around.
“We need to clean the basement,” I said.
“Why?” she asked.
“Principal Charmer ordered us to,” I said.
“Why?” she repeated, still not looking at us.
“It’s our punishment for ZARA being dumb,” Maria said.
“So, doing my job is a punishment for you kids,” Janitor Sheri said, looking over her shoulder.
“Well, uh…”
Janitor Sheri turned around and handed over two brooms. “Don’t sweat it, Zara. I know I have a terrible
job. I’ll take any help I can get.” She smiled, which I never thought I’d see. She had a gap where one of her front teeth should be.
Maria and I took the brooms and headed towards the basement.
The basement wasn’t much more than a long, dimly lit hallway. The walls and ceiling were lined with old pipes and boxes of stuff placed along the walls. It smelled damp, like wet socks mixed with something that smells worse than socks. We saw a door down at the far end of the hallway.
“I don’t see any ghosts,” I said as we crept down the hall.
“Give it a second,” Maria said. Pointing to the ceiling she shouted, “There!”
I looked up and sure enough a man was walking upside down on the ceiling, pushing a broom, sweeping the ceiling just like a regular person would sweep a floor. He wore a jumper that you could still tell was dirty grey even though he and the jumper were transparent. He appeared to be pretty average looking (apart from the transparent thing), average height, average built, hair not too long. About the only striking feature he had was a long thick mustache and I had to look twice to see that.
“He’s a janitor,” I said.
“Yep,” he answered sweeping away. “Been cleaning up the dirt in this place for a long time now.”
“Can’t we leave him? He seems harmless enough,” I said.
“Yep, cleaning this place for a good twenty years,” the ghost janitor muttered. “And it still keeps getting dirty. That’s why when I am done cleaning down here, I will clean up there.” He pointed to the floor, which was the ceiling. “All those stinking, rotten kids that infest this school. They keep making my clean school filthy. I need to teach them a lesson!”
“Okay, not quite so harmless,” I said.
He stopped right above us. “Of course, I’m not harmless! I’m a ghost. First chance I get I’m going to scare them into being clean!” He stopped sweeping in order to start cackling.
“Just exactly how do you plan to scare people?” Hammy asked.
Zara, The Ghost Zapper Page 5