by Peter David
“Indeed,” said K’hanq neutrally.
“Worf, however, recalled someone whom his future mother-in-law, Lwaxana Troi, had mentioned as being utterly dependable and discreet. A changeling named Odo, who is the resident head of law enforcement at the station which the Cardassians refer to as Terok Nor and Starfleet calls Deep Space Nine. They relayed as much as they knew at the time to Odo. Odo, in turn, tracked down Picard and came here to deliver the message in person. Seemed he was a bit concerned that any messages which would arrive on Qo’noS might be subject to scrutiny by Klingon authorities. A very suspicious individual, this Odo.”
“Perhaps we should have him on staff?” suggest K’hanq.
“Perhaps indeed. So imagine the surprise of both Picard and Odo when they were informed that a man purporting to be William Riker had arrived. Well, Picard knew instantly that this was none other than Thomas Riker. He was curious as to Riker’s intent, and engaged him in conversation, while the shapechanger hid on a nightstand, disguised—at Picard’s request—as a copy of an old Earth novel entitled A Christmas Carol. Picard, you see, felt that this Riker was a troubled individual. He said he was hoping that he could—you should find this amusing—redeem the fellow.
“When Thomas Riker returned to his quarters, Odo followed him. The changeling slid under the door in his liquid form. For a moment, he thought that Riker had heard him, but by the time Riker turned around Odo had already assumed a disguise as a sword on the wall. Odo eavesdropped on Riker, listened to him record a message that was to be delivered to Picard after what Odo believed to be an assassination attempt on me. Since Riker seemed to be carrying no weapons on him, and kept looking at the bottle of Romulan ale, Odo surmised that that was the instrument of intended murder. After Riker retired, Odo reported back to Picard, having determined the missing officers’ whereabouts from eavesdropping on Riker. Starfleet was informed so that a rescue ship could be dispatched. Odo rested himself for a time…and then took the place of the bottle himself. They were curious to see what Riker would do…but at the same time, they wanted to make certain that I did not come to harm. Most considerate of them, I think.”
“Very much so.”
“It turns out that Tom Riker had taken the place of Will Riker, whom the Romulans were trying to force to assassinate me…or, at least, so he thought. The bottle, when later scanned, turned out to contain…well, we won’t go into that. In any event, Riker was unaware of that and was prepared to drink the poison himself, under guise of insistence from me. In that way he hoped to save me, and avoid any accusation of Federation complicity. Obviously, if he drank it himself, the argument would have been made that he did not know the contents. That it was all some sort of horrible mistake. It all became moot, of course, but still…amazingly brave on his part. Do you not think so?”
“Unquestionably so. What happened with the Federation vessel and the Romulans?”
“A number of the Romulans were captured, although Sela and some of her personnel still managed to escape.”
“And Thomas Riker? Certainly the Cardassians wanted him back.”
“Yes indeed, they did. But you know, it was the oddest thing. Just before the Cardassians arrived…Thomas Riker escaped.”
K’hanq sat up, confused. “Escaped? How?”
“Apparently those who had been assigned to guard him were unaccountably lax. I have, of course, chastised them severely. Last Riker was seen, he was in his runabout fleeing the approaching Cardassians. It is possible they captured him…then again, there is a slim chance he got away. Oddly, no one seemed particularly upset about it…except the Cardassians, of course. But I think we can survive their wrath.”
“Yes, of course.”
“Interesting, isn’t it, K’hanq. Even the Starfleet officers who are in disgrace…still have enough strength of character to honor alliances. It hardly answers all of my concerns…but nonetheless, it is something to think about, is it not?”
“Most definitely, Chancellor.”
“So tell me.” Gowron leaned forward. “Does my information match with yours?”
“It is, in fact, far more detailed than mine, Chancellor. I am abashed. Perhaps it should be you who is in the intelligence-gathering business.”
“Perhaps,” smiled Gowron. “Perhaps.” Then he slapped his legs and stood. K’hanq did as well. “Go, K’hanq. Continue to keep your ear to the ground. Let us know what you hear.”
“I will, Gowron.”
As K’hanq was about to leave, Gowron turned to stare out the window of his sanctum and he said, in a sort of offhand manner, “By the way, K’hanq…I spoke to Worf in some detail as well. He told me something rather curious: that this Sela seemed to have detailed knowledge of the concerns I had expressed in regards to the Federation.”
“Hmm,” said K’hanq. His hand was already straying to his belt, where he had a small disruptor tucked away. “Well…that was hardly a secret, Chancellor. I wouldn’t be concerned about—”
“It was a secret, K’hanq…at the point where Sela related the information. The only ones who knew were me…and you.” Gowron had still not turned to face K’hanq. “The implication is rather clear…and unpleasant…?”
“Yes. I see.” K’hanq leveled his weapon at Gowron.
Gowron, however, already had his weapon in his hand and he shot backward at waist level. The disruptor blast caught K’hanq dead center, lifting him up and smashing him squarely into the wall. K’hanq hung there for a moment as if defying gravity, and then tumbled to the floor.
Gowron turned his head slightly so that the lens mounted on the back of his collar could properly pick up K’hanq’s unmoving body.
“I know you see, K’hanq,” said Gowron as if he were still alive. “But some of us see…more than others.”
Twenty-six
When Lwaxana opened her eyes, Deanna was waiting for her.
“Ohhhh, Little One,” she said, her voice just above a whisper. “Am I dreaming?”
“No.”
“Would you tell me if I were?”
“Yes,” Deanna assured her with a laugh.
“He came for you? He did?”
“Yes. Yes, he did. He said you helped. Thank you.”
Lwaxana shrugged as she settled back more comfortably into the hospital bed. “All I did was build upon what you already taught him…and what you had together. The rest was entirely the two of you.” Then she remembered and her eyes filled with tears. “Mr. Homn…he…is he…”
“He’s fine, Mother. At least, he’s going to be fine. I had no idea…there are mountains that are more vulnerable than he is. The doctors say he’ll be up and around and mute in no time.”
“That’s good to hear. And me…?”
“You’re mending. Should be out of here about the same time as Mr. Homn, actually.”
“Oh, thank God. I wouldn’t want to have to worry about cooking.”
“I’ll take care of it, Mother. I’ll take care of both of you. The captain has arranged for my staying here awhile.”
“Ah, Jean-Luc. I knew I could count on him.” Then she said, “Mr. Worf fought like a madman to protect you, didn’t he.”
“He did, yes.”
She sighed. “I…suppose I could be wrong about him. Perhaps…well…it’s miraculous, really. You have two men who love you. I think I’m rather jealous, when one gets down to it. How are you going to choose, Little One? Things can’t stay as they are, they—”
“Mother…” She patted Lwaxana’s hand. “Don’t worry about it. The biggest problem people have is that they choke-hold life and don’t let it happen. Everything will sort itself out if we just let it.”
“I taught you that, didn’t I. Many years ago.”
“Yes, Mother.”
Lwaxana closed her eyes and let out a contented sigh. “I’m a very wise woman.”
“Yes, Mother.”
When Deanna went to the inn, Worf was waiting for her.
She looked around. Everythi
ng of his was already packed. Her things were not. Worf was sitting very still in the middle of the room. At first he didn’t even seem to notice her when she came in. She looked at him in curiosity and said, “Worf?”
“I was thinking about…when Admiral Riker came back from the future…to save you.”
“Why were you thinking about that?”
For the first time there actually seemed to be a touch of resigned admiration in Worf’s voice. “He reordered the universe for you. That was how much he loved you. And yet I…could not find it in myself to save you from Sela….”
“Because of your honor. You did what was right for you.”
“Alexander has…requested some time away from me. He desires to return to his grandparents. I have…given him permission to do so. He has already left. I would have thought he would understand, that I had taught him well. Obviously I did not. Is that the pupil’s fault…or the teacher’s?”
At first Deanna didn’t believe it. Naturally Worf had no reason to lie, but nonetheless it was hard for her to grasp. But it was true; all of Alexander’s things were gone. She just hadn’t noticed it before.
“I…have been concerned that you do not love me as you do…Will Riker,” Worf said slowly. “I realize now that my priorities have been…misplaced. My concern should have been…that I do not love you as he does. You deserve that measure of love, Deanna. And I deserve…”
“What? What? Nothing, Worf? Is that what you’re going to say?” She took one of rough hands in hers. “You’re tearing yourself up over this. It’s not right.”
“No…it is not. Nor can I hope to find peace in my current frame of mind. For you see…despite all of it…I still believe that I did the right thing and Riker the wrong. And yet I realize that what he did was right…but I cannot understand why. I must learn, Deanna. I cannot be him, nor should I want to be…but in a way I do…but it conflicts with what I have been taught.”
“So…so what are you going to do?”
“Learn other things.”
“You can learn them with me, Worf. We can learn together.”
He looked at her bleakly. “I am doing this…for you, Deanna. It—we—will never work. Never. Deanna…look at me. I am nothing like you. Look…your eyes are tearing up. Mine are dry. They are always dry. I will never, truly, make you happy, nor you me. You and Riker belong together. The thought that you and I can never have that measure of love…that I am incapable of giving it to you…angers me. I must deal with this anger…with that which I lack…with all of it. I will be returning to Qo’noS shortly, to serve in whatever capacity Gowron needs me. But I will ask him to release me to the clerics of Boreth. I suspect he will do so, as in many ways it serves both our purposes. There I will study…and learn…and, very likely, stay.”
“Stay.” She felt infinitely sad. “And that is how you’re going to deal with difficulty loving, Worf? By running away from it?”
And Worf stared at her in a way that she had never seen before. The Klingon warrior, who had fought battle after battle…who had thrown himself into all manner of physical punishment…who had taken pleasure in flaunting just how much pain he could take…said four words she never thought she would hear him say:
“It…hurts…too much.”
It was as if he had spent every last bit of energy getting out that sentence. And then, everything that could possibly be said having been said, he gathered up his belongings and left the room. Deanna sat there, alone, staring at the emptiness, feeling as if all the energy in the room had left with him.
When Deanna went to the Troi mansion, Will Riker was waiting for her.
A cleaning crew had already been through and put much of the house back in order. The walls had been rebuilt and replastered. Most of the objets d’art and such had not been replaced, since that was awaiting Lwaxana’s personal touch. Indeed, the only thing that seemed to have survived, miraculously, was a vase over in the corner. Riker had placed the vase on a table and was fiddling with it when she walked in. He smiled at her.
“Will! What are you doing here?” Then she brought herself up short, folded her arms and said, “Two pair.”
“Four of a kind,” Riker replied immediately.
She relaxed slightly. It was the new signal they had developed for each other, just on the off chance that there was the slightest reason to suspect that Thomas Riker had unexpectedly shown up. “So…so what are you doing here?”
“Well, I did bring a few things with me when I came by here the first time. I came planetside to get them…which I have.” He indicated a satchel near him.
“And I…wanted to find out how Lwaxana is. And Mr. Homn.”
“She’s fine. They’re both going to be fine. What about Starfleet? Are you in trouble for…?”
“Well, I’m hardly on Jellico’s top ten list, but the fact that we helped to capture a number of known Romulan terrorists and busted up a conspiracy to commit genocide on the Klingons certainly weighed heavily enough in our favor that Starfleet is willing to overlook the little matter of my being AWOL.”
“That’s certainly a relief.”
He took a deep breath and said, “Deanna…I’ve been doing a lot of thinking…about us.”
“Really. Well…so have I.”
“And I…”
“And I…”
They laughed, both having spoken at the same time. “Can I go first?” asked Will.
“Of course.”
“Deanna…I should never have tried to come between you and Worf.”
Her face fell. “What?”
“It was…it was wrong of me. Perhaps one of the most wrong things I’ve ever done. I had no right. Worf was correct when he said I had my chance. I did. I was angry at him for taking you away, and I had no reason to be because I let you get away. You and Worf should be with each other, and…I know that ‘I’m sorry’ doesn’t begin to cover it. But…I’m sorry. And that’s it, that’s what I came here to say.”
“Worf has gone off to a monastery.”
He stared at her. “What?”
“He broke off the engagement. We’re not getting married. He says”—she folded her arms—“that he can never love me to the depth and degree that you do.”
“He said that?”
She nodded.
“I…see.”
“ ‘I see’? Will,” and Deanna almost had to laugh, “you went through heaven and hell to find me…even my own ex-fiancé says we’re meant to be together, and the most you can muster is ‘I see’?”
“I mean, I don’t know how to react.”
“Well…you could take me in your arms. You could hold me, kiss me, tell me you love me. Those are acceptable approaches. That’s what you came here to do, wasn’t it?”
“Yes, but…” He started to pace the room, looking more and more uncomfortable. “But it’s not…it wouldn’t be right somehow.”
She looked at him as if he’d grown a third eye. “Wouldn’t be ‘right’?”
“Deanna…let’s say that I say all that to you. And you tell me you love me, too. That you want the two of us to be together forever.”
“I don’t know if I would say that, but would that be so terrible if I did?”
“Well…yes…”
“Yes?” Deanna felt as if someone had just knocked her world forty-five degrees to starboard.
“Look at it from my point of view….”
“I’m trying!”
“If I said and did all the things that I’d been thinking of doing…and you told me you loved me and so on…how would I know it’s genuine? Worf just dumped you.”
“I wouldn’t say ‘dumped’…”
“All right, he called off the engagement. He broke it off. That…that must be shattering to you. You’re probably still in shock, still trying to deal with it.”
“I’m dealing with it fine, Will. It’s you I’m getting impatient with.”
“But if I attempt to put together a relationship with you now, I won’t
really know if it’s what you genuinely want…or whether you’re just on the rebound from Worf and looking for any emotional port in a storm. It would be disrespectful to the relationship you just had with Worf. You’re one big walking exposed nerve….”
“I’m not an exposed anything!” Deanna said. “What I am is a woman who just had a fiancé step aside on behalf of a man who is now saying that he doesn’t want me out of respect to the man who stepped aside for him! I’m starting to feel like a leper!”
“It’s not like that, Deanna,” and he took her in his arms, holding her tight and rocking her back and forth. She found herself melting into the warmth of him and moving with the swaying. “I…do love you. I do. You know that.”
“And I love you, Will.”
“I just think we should give it time.”
She stopped rocking and took a step back to look up at him. “Time,” she said, her voice flat.
“Yes, time. That’s all. And during that time we’ll be working toward a—”
“Time!?”
“Yes. Time until it feels right…”
And she stalked him. Riker backed up apprehensively. “Deanna…”
“You know what? The only time you seem to want me…is when you can’t have me! But when I’m available, suddenly you run in the opposite direction!”
“That’s not true,” Riker protested, running in the opposite direction. He snagged his satchel and said, “I think what we should do is discuss this when you’re less emotionally worked up. This is for your own good….”
“I am sick of people doing things for my own good, and I can assure you, you have not even begun to see me get worked up.”
“Wait…I know.” He held up a cautioning figure and put on his most charming smile. “I know…what you like to hear.” He cleared his throat, straightened his shoulders, and, sounding more romantic than he ever had, started to recite…
“I hold you close to me.
Feel the breath of you, and the wonder of you
And remember a time
Without you