She pretended to think about that for a second. "Is the journey to the center of the labyrinth worth the trouble?" Not that she really cared because simply being with Adam was reward enough for the moment. Logically, she knew that she should put some distance between them, but her heart argued that she was merely having fun during her last social venture and that no harm could come of it.
This time when Adam smiled, the expression reached his eyes and transformed him, making him appear years younger. "Very much so, my dear Abigail."
"Let's be off then." She gestured to a small opening that was barely visible in the hedges in the dim light. In fact, it was marked only by a single lantern dangling from an ornate iron hook. However, given that the area was lit, she assumed that it was meant to explored, even in the dark. After all, she doubted that the duke and duchess would knowingly put their guests in harm's way. Even if the area had been used for far more scandalous purposes in the past, that was no longer the case.
And...well...she was with Adam. He would not allow any harm to come to her. In both her heart and her mind, she knew that without question.
With another bow, Adam led Abigail into the entrance of the labyrinth. He truly hadn't expected her to follow him, but he should have known better. She was not the sort of woman to back down from any challenge. Not even when she should.
Not that he really thought any harm would come to her. After all, he knew this particular labyrinth quite well. When he had been a Society darling, he had attended this same masquerade house party every year, including in the years before Enwright married, and the entire event was so scandalous that no one dared to breathe a word of it to anyone during the Season for fear of being labeled a libertine.
Back then, it was something of a mark of honor to bring a lady into the labyrinth and not emerge with her for an hour or more. To do so with her clothing mussed was an even greater claim to fame. To emerge with the lady well and truly tumbled in some fashion could sustain a gentleman's reputation for an entire Season - or longer, depending on the lady.
But that was when the house party was populated by willing widows and courtesans and the highest class of whores Covent Garden could provide for Enwright's coin. Back then, it was not unusual to stumble across a couple fucking any place that one could lie down - and even in many places where they could not. However those days were long gone, and while Adam himself had never indulged to quite that extreme extent, he had tumbled a widow or two within the depths of these hedges. He was a man, after all, and far from an innocent in such matters.
That was a long time ago, however, almost like another lifetime. And certainly, he would never have imagined using that knowledge of the labyrinth to escort a lady of good breeding into its depths in the future. But now he was. For truly, what awaited them at the center was worth seeing. Especially if Enwright had taken the time and trouble to make certain that the entire setting was properly lit. Given that there was a lantern hanging at the labyrinth's entrance, he suspected that was the case.
After all, even though the man was respectable and a father now, some old habits died hard. Adam knew that all too well.
So with Abigail's hand tucked firmly into his, Adam led her into the labyrinth and hoped that she enjoyed the journey. And that she might be willing to offer up a kiss at the very end. If he was lucky, that is.
It was so very dark inside the hedges. That was Abigail's first impression of the labyrinth. The hedge walls were so high that even the moon seemed to be shut out, though she knew that was likely a trick of the light or simply her runaway imagination once more.
However the sides of the hedge walls were neatly trimmed and very straight, indicating that the place was well cared for. Not that Abigail believed Lucy would allow it to be otherwise. However, the path was also extremely narrow, with Abigail and Adam unable to walk side by side without touching, but then, given the original purpose of the labyrinth that was not entirely surprising.
The longer they walked, the more she noticed little things about her surroundings. For instance, the path was made not just of some sort of crushed stone, but of what looked like seashells as well. The shell's iridescent colors shimmered every so often as Adam passed the lantern across them so they would not trip in the darkness.
She also noted that the air was redolent with night-blooming jasmine, the same sort of plant that was found elsewhere on the estate. Most notably along the terrace right outside of the library. However, here the slightly sweet and exotic scent was mixed with undertones of freesia and lilac, so she assumed that there must be another garden about somewhere. The main garden where she had stumbled upon Adam the other morning was far off to the left of the manor house while they, at present, were on the right side. Though the flowers were strong, she did not think that even the gentle night breeze could carry the delightful fragrances so far.
"Is there another garden somewhere nearby?" Abigail asked as she continued to stroll hand in hand with Adam down the winding paths. "I am certain that I smell one."
In response, Adam simply turned back to her and smiled secretively. "We shall see, won't we, my lady?" he replied cryptically.
For a moment, Abigail wondered how many other women Adam had brought down this same path over the years and for what purpose. Then she decided that she did not want to know. His past was his business and whatever he had done then, it did not define the man he was now.
Far sooner than she anticipated, the labyrinth made a sharp turn to the right, after which the path narrowed down so much that they could only proceed through one at a time in a straight line. If her dress had been any wider, she would not have fit at all - and she suspected there was a reason for it. So now, Abigail allowed Adam to lead the way and he gripped her hand tightly, as if he was afraid that she might run off. Not that she would do any such thing. In addition to the very real possibility of becoming lost, she would lose this time alone with him. And she was not about to risk that for anything.
Abigail was about to ask how much farther they had to travel like this when suddenly, she saw a dim glow just ahead of her, likely indicating that they were reaching the center of the labyrinth. Then, with one final and rather large step over something that resembled a small, narrow stream, she emerged from the darkness of the hedges into a soft, warmly glowing pool of light. And immediately she found that her breath was all but stolen from her chest.
Simply put, the scene before her was completely breathtaking. Somehow, Lord Enwright had managed to create a miniature Vauxhall Gardens in the center of the labyrinth.
That was when she realized that the small running stream she had stepped over was meant to mimic the Thames River and the floral scents she had smelled earlier were from a riot of plants the lined the edge of the garden. There was even a small Moorish tower and several chaise-style lounges that were spread about so that those who made it this far could recline and rest in comfort.
Additionally, various statues were scattered about and a carved marble archway framed the back of the entire area where she could just see another opening that was barely visible, even though the entire area was bathed with light.
"That leads to the far side of the lake and the old summerhouse." Adam pointed in the direction of the arch. "Several years ago, it was popular to go for a midnight swim in the lake if one dared. However there was always the risk of being caught by others, especially if one decided to swim in the nude. So Enwright had a second path to the center made from the opposite side that bordered the lake. Easier to sneak back to the house that way."
On any other night, Abigail might have been scandalized, but not tonight. Instead, her imagination flared to life and images of what might have gone on at those long-ago parties danced through her mind - most of which would be enough to give Miss Cutwright another fit of the vapors.
Abigail nodded in approval. "That was rather clever of him. I can only imagine what sorts of activities went on here back then."
Adam cleared his throat. "Not everythin
g was so scandalous, I assure you. Some times, it was simply a chance to speak freely with another person without the watchful eyes of the ton upon you."
She nodded in understanding. "That makes a great deal of sense, actually."
For long minutes, she simply stood there drinking in the fine details of the setting. Someone had taken great care and effort to create this place, and a part of her believed that it was for more than simply carnal pleasure. There was love here and perhaps a desire for something greater in life. If all one wanted was a place to take a lover, all of the details, right down to the small scrollwork on the carved walkways, would not be necessary.
In that moment, Abigail understood that even back then, Enwright was still dreaming of a woman to love. The woman he had found in Lucy.
The mere fact that Adam had brought her here knowing full well that she would not allow him to have his way with her this evening also spoke directly to his character. He too, wished for something more. Not that she thought he would ever admit such a thing, of course. Or that she could even dream of being that woman for him.
"Do you like it?" Adam finally asked as he led Abigail deeper into the miniature pleasure garden. "While it is not perfect, it is a very good recreation."
Reaching out to run her hand over a Chinese lantern that was exactly the same as one she had seen earlier in the Season at Vauxhall itself, she nodded almost stupidly. "It is lovely. I wish that I could think of a better word to describe it, but I cannot." Abigail turned to Adam, knowing that her eyes were shining with emotion and not caring. "Every detail is so precise. And so romantic."
He smiled then. "I am not so certain that Enwright intended it to be romantic. At least not at first. In fact, I think rather the opposite."
"Men," she sniffed playfully. "That is how little you know of matters of the heart. For you, it is all about the physical."
To her relief, Adam did not become angry, but rather laughed as she hoped that he would. "As you know, my dear, I am not exactly an expert on matters of the heart. I did throw over a young woman when I fell into a blind panic over the idea of marriage and was later almost nibbled to death by hedgehogs in an attempt to defend my sister's honor. So perhaps I am not the best one to judge whether or not Enwright intended for this place to be romantic."
"Trust me. He did," Abigail assured Adam as she sat down on the bench and tugged him down beside her. "He might not have realized it at the time, but it was his intent. His heart knew what his head did not."
When Adam finally settled beside her, he gave her a quizzical look. "You truly believe that it is that easy? That if we allow the heart to lead our heads, all will be well."
Abigail shook her head. "You misunderstand me, Adam. Hearts often know secrets that our heads do not recognize. Often times, it is up to the head to figure out a way to rationalize something that the heart already knows, so that one does not appear a fool. And sometimes, the head will never catch up to the heart. Nor should it, I suppose, because often times, our hearts are wrong or they do not take into consideration all the things that our heads do."
"Such as?" he prodded when she fell silent.
"Such as physical attraction is all well and good, but if the man beats his wife or spends all of her dowry money to pay off his debts, then no matter how attractive he is and no matter how much the woman fancies herself in love with the man, it is still a poor decision to wed him. Even if she is forced to do so. However, that is something that the head must figure out before the heart takes over, if it is at all feasible."
Abigail sighed and waved a gloved hand in front of her. "But those are extreme examples, I will grant you. Like your sister. In the case of this garden, sometimes our heart sees beauty where our head cannot. And in those cases, where the head and heart are in agreement and it is a good thing? Then that is when magic happens."
Adam didn't think that Enwright had really given the garden's design that much thought, but then, what did he know? Women and love were among the things he understood the least in this world. Obviously.
"Well, whatever the man's motivation, the place it exquisite," he finally offered. Then he decided that it was time to make a confession of his own. Abigail deserved it for revealing a bit of her own heart to him just now. "When I was younger and attending Enwright's masquerades, I would often come here at night when most of the other guests were already inside."
Adam made it a point not to mention what they had been doing inside, for he felt certain that Abigail took his meaning. She was no fresh-from-the-schoolroom miss, after all. "I would sit here for hours listening to the night birds and generally enjoying being alone. This was one of the few places where I could simply be Adam and not the Duke of Hathaway. Particularly in my younger years when I was still very new to the idea of being a duke and having a fiancée I did not know or even want thrust upon me all at the same time. Back then, few people ventured here because the back entrance had not yet been cut in the hedges and it was admittedly difficult to find one's way through the labyrinth."
"Here you could simply be yourself," Abigail guessed softly.
Adam nodded slowly. "That is it precisely. Here, I was just a man. I could think and not be disturbed. I was just Adam Reynolds." Unthinking, he drew Abigail's hand into his own. "My mother wasn't here making demands that I plan to be wed in a few years to a young girl I had never even met and had the feeling would be entirely unsuitable for me anyway. I was all of twelve! I was still enamored of tree forts and frogs, and had no use for something as far-fetched as marriage."
"That is why you rebelled against the idea of wedding Lady Diana, is it not?" Abigail guessed. "Because all of your life you had been forced to accept the idea whether you wanted to or not?"
"Something like that," he agreed quietly, amazed at how quickly Abigail had guessed the truth when even those closest to him never could. "My mother had my life all planned out for me, but I did not always like the path she chose. Especially as I grew older and I could see for myself that in some cases, like the proposed marriage to Diana, she had chosen...incorrectly. I was not always the son she wanted either, obedient to her every whim."
Abigail scoffed a bit. "I cannot think of any man who would be, unless of course he possessed no will of his own. Respecting one's mother is proper, of course, but my brothers would never allow our mother to dictate their lives. They are too strong-willed for that."
"As was I. Back then." Adam shrugged. "Even when I first came here, I knew what I wanted and what I didn't. I knew that I would make Diana miserable, and in time, I was proven right. Ironically, jilting her was the best thing I could have possibly done for both of us. Even though it just about ruined my life. But back then, in those early days here at Fairhaven? I couldn't imagine doing such a thing, even though I was desperate for a way out. I didn't like her, at least not in that way, and I knew it. Then again, I didn't like myself all that much either. I also didn't much care for people as a whole and wanted to be left alone. After all, I was a duke and in my mind back then, I did not have to obey anyone save for our regent."
Around them, the night began to calm and a stillness began to settle over the small garden at the center of the labyrinth. To Abigail, it seemed as if they were the only two people in the world and for a moment, she could well imagine how a young Adam, who did not really know how to be a proper duke, would find solace here. He likely still did, though she doubted that he would admit such a thing any more.
Still, he continued his story, much to her surprise. "But my mother believed differently," he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "As did my friends. And my sister. And my extended family. They all had this vision of what sort of man, more importantly what sort of duke, I should be. And over time, I stopped doing what I wished to do and simply went along with what was expected."
Abigail squeezed his hand tightly. "Because it was easier. Or perhaps because you didn't want to hurt them."
Adam thought about that for a long moment. "Probably. Then, when I
did finally figure out how to be a duke and what sort of man I wished to be, it was too late. I was trapped in this role that had been defined for me so long ago. And I didn't know how to break free without hurting those I loved the most. My mother and sister lost so much when my father died. I did not wish for them to lose that light in their eyes, that hope I saw in them each time they looked at me and proclaimed me to be just as great of a man as my father was." He shrugged. "But I disappointed them anyway when I jilted Diana.
"It would not have been fair of you to wed her. Nor would have been fair to you," Abigail countered. "I am not approving what you did, but in the end, the choice was a wise one. For both of you. While you may be vilified now, in the end, both of you would have been miserable. You did her a favor by setting her free before the two of you ended up destroying each other." Abigail had seen that scenario play out all too often and her heart ached to think that had almost been Adam's fate as well.
"Thank you for that." Ever since that fateful day at White's, Adam had never once had anyone tell him that his decision had been the correct one. After all, arranged marriages were common among their set. But in this case, deep in his heart, he knew he would have been sentencing Diana to a life of misery, and while he had not been able to find a way to say that so as not to cause scandal, he had felt it in the very depths of his soul. Even if it hadn't come out quite that way. Much like women, he was not always good with words either. "Everyone assumes that I did what I did merely to be an ass." He shrugged. "That was true afterwards. But not before."
Abigail snorted. "You are many things, Adam, but you are not an ass." She glanced at him slyly, feeling the need to lighten the conversation a bit. "If you were, I would have simply allowed those hedgehogs to feast upon you and been done with it."
She had meant for the comment to make him laugh and it did a bit, but then he sat there and simply looked at her in silence. High above them, the moon darted in and out behind clouds, casting his face partially in shadow, making him a man half of the darkness and half of the light. It was apt, for Abigail had the impression that was the way he saw himself. Neither completely good nor completely bad but rather somewhere in between. She wished she could see all of him now so that she might know what he was thinking, but all she could see were his eyes, glittering in the night like diamonds and their slate gray hue accentuated by the shadows.
The Kiss of a Rogue Page 13