by Logan Jacobs
“Creepy, but not a bad idea,” I said as our mat-trans tubes began to glow, and the portal to enter them opened like melted cellophane. “See who's gunning for her and take them out before they try to take us out. Then she thanks us by going all death from above on the rest.”
“I hope that you are right.” Nova sighed. “If we give up the chance to kill her, and she then slaughters us all later, I will be very displeased with you.”
“Thirty seconds,” Artemis said as she ran up to us. The lights above began to flash to count us down. Artemis placed a small kiss on my cheek. “Come back to me, okay?”
This was always the hardest part before jumping. I could feel the anxiousness that came off Artie, and even Grizz, like a wave. I would never know what if felt like to watch someone you cared about go off to who knows where to fight who knows what not knowing if they were going to come back or not.
“I’d move heaven and hell to get back to you,” I whispered to her before she stood back with Grizz and we hit the fifteen second mark.
“Right,” I said as Nova, Aurora and I stepped into our respective tubes. “Do you guys ever wish we could pick a song to walk onto the battlefield to?”
“No.” Nova said with a quick shake of her head. “The only sounds I want to hear when I step onto the battlefield are the screams of terror from my enemies.”
“Seconded,” Aurora added with a smirk. “Though their injured cries are fine too because then I can just sweep through the battlefield to suck the souls from their broken bodies.”
“I’m serious, guys! It’d be so badass to be like ‘Alexa, play Bodies by Drowning Pool or Immigrant song by Zeppelin’, and then walk onto the field all decked out in armor guns blazing,” I said excitedly. “Ahhh-ahhh-ahhh-ah!”
I began to wail in my best Robert Plant when the timer hit zero, and my atoms were torn apart, and I was beamed to my potential death.
Chapter Seven
“Hammer of the gods… holy shit!” I sang-yelled as my molecules reformed, and a mortar round went off ten feet away that showered me with coarse sand. So much for getting a second to figure out what the hell was going on. I dove for cover as another explosion threw up more dirt.
As the dust settled, I was able to take stock of the surroundings. I was in the middle of what looked like a giant Roman style colosseum that must have been three football fields long and two wide. The ‘stands’ that surrounded us were probably ten stories high and full of at least a hundred thousand screaming spectators. At the very top there looked to be private boxes for what I assumed were the wealthier, more important patrons.
I couldn’t see much else because another explosion erupted to my left and threw me into me the air. Thankfully I landed in a shell crater with some loose sand in the bottom that cushioned my fall. Still, the air rushed out of my lungs in a whoosh as I landed back first.
“Owww,” I managed to eek out before I had to roll out of the way as Nova dove into the crater, a fireball exploding in the air behind her. She pulled her dive at the last second and tumbled next to me.
“Hi, nice of you to drop by,” I joked as I spat sand out of my mouth. “Seen Aurora?”
Before Nova could even open her mouth, a purple sphere shot out of the sky and crashed into both of us. When I opened my eyes Aurora lay sprawled over us, and we were a tangle of limbs. The vampire’s butt was smashed into my face and her face lay firmly between Nova’s heaving breasts while the orange-skinned warrior woman straddled my hips, which in any other circumstance without clothes would have been awesome.
“That hurt,” Aurora said as she disentangled herself and lay beside me in our impromptu fox hole. “Any idea what the hell is going on?”
“We’re in a hole,” was all I could manage as I coughed up dust.
“From what I could see before I was almost blown to bits,” Nova said as she began to peek her head over the lip of the hole, “it looks like we are in some giant arena. There were some rocks to our left and some kind of caverns or cave openings on the right where teams had found cover and vantage points. We happened to be unlucky enough to materialize in the middle of no-man's-land right smack between them.”
“Sounds about right,” I sighed and joined her.
The constant barrage of explosions had stopped for a few seconds.
“Here we are folks!” Chi-Cheshire’s voice boomed and echoed in the arena to a deafening eruption of cheers. “This afternoon, your favorite champions will be battling in this Coliseum-style arena with nothing to cover them but the granite blocks you see to the north! Or maybe they’ll hide out in the caverns to the south. Hope there’s nothing in there that wants to eat them? Am I right? Time to see what strategies our champs come up with!”
There was silence for a moment, and then the sounds of blood and chaos began again. Bullets and energy beams blasted just above our heads. We were pinned down and sitting ducks if we didn’t come up with a brilliant plan immediately.
“Okay,” I started. I had no idea what the hell I was going to say or what we were going to do. Our placement in the field was god fucking awful. So much so that I wondered if Irrus had something to do with it. If we got out of this alive, which was doubtful, I was sure as shit going to have a little chit-chat with a kitty cat. “We gotta get out of this hole.”
Both Aurora and Nova looked at me as if to say “duh”.
“Hey, look, they can’t all be gems, okay.” I said rather defensively. “Aurora, can you create a dark matter shell big enough for all three of us?”
“We’ll have to get all nice and cozy again,” she answered as her tattoos pulsed with blue light. “And I’ll need to ‘replenish’ my resources not too long after.”
“Okay, if we’re inside can we shoot out?” I asked as I pulled the Eradicator up off its sling and flicked the safety off.
“Never really tried, but I’m pretty sure that’s a yes.” She replied as she gathered her will to create the dark matter shield.
“I think we should head for the rocks,” Nova added. “I do not wish to get eaten. Don’t you dare.”
She shot the last few words right as I was opening my mouth.
“Hey, I was just going to say good idea,” I quickly replied, although, that was not at all what I was going to say. “I concur one hundred percent. As soon as the shields up, Nova, you lay down a bit of cover fire with your SAW there. I’ll watch our six. As soon as we get to the rocks take cover and see if you can spot PoLarr.”
“Let the games begin!” Chi-Cheshire’s massive face cried, and as the sky overhead lit up with the faces of all the combatants, I felt a chill run through me. These were some seriously bad hombres and hombre-ettes.
“Marc,” Nova said as we got ready to sprint from the hole. “A crate just materialized in the center of the arena, look.” She gestured to a gray box that sat alone about a hundred feet away.
“Damn, they couldn’t have beamed that any closer to us? I’m Earth’s charming, underdog champion! That alone should get us a few favors,” I said with a sigh as I rubbed the back of my neck.
“All the champions are going to fight for control of the box. Whoever gains access to it will no doubt have a huge advantage,” Nova advised as she beckoned me to look over the edge with her as Aurora slid up beside her as well.
“What’s in the box?” I whined in my best Brad Pitt from Se7en.
“Loot of some kind,” Nova said. “Did you hit your head?”
“It’s from a movie,” I responded with a frustrated hand wave. “Never mind. So, scratch plan A,” I said. “We are now on a mission to get the box. Much like highschool. And keep an eye out for PoLarr.”
Now that I had a second to think about it and not being blown up, I found myself worried about PoLarr. It felt like my oldest and closest friend was at stake despite her and me spending minimal time together. I recalled her explaining that this sensation was one of the after effects of Soul Gazing.
It had been an amazing experience, and I was stil
l flattered that she would choose me for such an exclusive and special connection. I shared her memories, and she shared mine. So, essentially, she got to make ill-timed pop culture references while reminiscing about my awkward teenage sexual experiences, and I got to execute lethal battle tactics with badass guns. PoLarr got the better end of the deal, though, for sure.
I gripped the Eradicator tight in my hands and wished that Fallon had chosen to tell us about the plot against PoLarr before we’d geared up. I had a sudden yearning for the dual pistols she had given me as a gift the first time we trained together and the sudden rush of a memory of PoLarr’s father at his workbench as he used a strange alien lathe to shape the black, ebony like wood handles to the finest pistols the galaxy had ever seen: the GX72 Equalizers. I was young, maybe five or six as I watched each motion his strong, capable hands made with the lathe over the wood, and a swell of pride and love filled my chest until it almost burst. Then, as fast as the memory came it was gone. Such was the nature of the soul gaze. I shook its last remnants from my mind and gazed out on the battlefield with a new steely reserve.
Fuck Irrus, PoLarr was not going to die today.
“Look, there,” Nova said and pointed to the sky. PoLarr streaked overhead with her cool angel-of-death Valkyrie jet pack leaving a trail of exhaust behind her.
“She’s already got company,” I said as I watched a huge space troll burst from cover near the outcropping of rocks.
Whoever or whatever creative force ruled the galaxy really like trolls, ogres, and goblins, or their galactic equivalents, as a popular evolutionary solution because a surprising number of other planet’s champions were either trolls, ogres, or, you guessed it, goblins. Like a lot of the ones we saw in battle this ugly fuck had dark lime green skin that was as thick as rhino hide, stood about six and a half feet tall, faces that made pigs look like Jessica Alba, and had generally shit-tastic dispositions. Unlike most of them, this assface was decked out in gladiator armor from Thor: Ragnarok and swung a giant bow covered in spikes blindly around at anything that moved, so I guessed it was durable enough to double as a melee weapon.
PoLarr streaked above us on bright blue exhaust wings from her Val’Keerye jetpack. I could see her own set of Equalizers strapped to her thighs in their holsters and could almost feel them as they itched to be set free to spit red hot retribution.
The erstwhile gladi-troll from outer space had taken a keen interest in her and nocked three energy arrows into the bow.
“Should I take the troll down?” Nova asked as she readied her heavy machine gun and fixed her modified red-dot laser sights on the creature.
“Yeah--”
My words were cut off as PoLarr whirled midair, skinned her heaters, and fired. The sound of the Equalizers cracked through the air like thunder, and the entire sky seemed to rumble with each and every shot. High velocity heavy density rounds tore through the troll as if he were made from target practice paper. Huge chunks of flesh flew from his body and turned the ground around the creature into a swampy mess of blood, guts, and ichor, and yet, it didn’t seem to care because even though it was literally ripped to shreds, the wounds were healed before my eyes. I would have bet the farm that it was one of Irrus’ boosts at work.
“You die, PoLarr!” it cried as it fixed its eyes on the Val’Keerye, drew back its bow, and fired.
The huge arrows cut through the air like rockets. PoLarr sensed their approach and rolled left to avoid them. She fixed her guns on the troll once more, only as she pulled the trigger, thick black smoke burst from the back of the troll’s arrows, and they arced around to come back at her.
Gladi-troll, meanwhile, had already nocked another volley of arrows, and as it unleashed them at her, the first volley came back around. This time PoLarr managed to dodge by twisting her body into a pirouette that let her dance between the projectiles, but I knew it wouldn’t matter because the troll had already launched a third salvo of the heat seeking arrows. I knew a fourth and fifth would soon follow it, and PoLarr would be kept busy as she had to sky dance her way around them.
“Marc, look!” I turned toward Aurora and saw, much to my horror, that two more trolls had emerged from hiding and both were readying what looked like long-range weapons. One had a huge bazooka thing decorated with various skulls, and the other held a sling shot looking gun with circular saw blades designed in troll hell on the end. Slingshot-gun troll had about a billion more blades strapped to his chest making me think that his gun, did, in fact, shoot saws.
“I think that troll is out there to tank PoLarr’s damage and draw her attention.” I nodded to the two goons, “while those two focus on bringing her down.”
“Well, then we shall stop that then!” Nova growled, and before I could say anything, she pointed her MG at saw guy and held down the trigger. The machine gun bucked in her hands like a branded bronco but her aim remained true, and bullets tore through him. His body pitched backward across the sand but he miraculously got up, and I realized we were going to have the same problem because this bastard was healing too.
“I think I’m going to run out of bullets long before this hideous knave dies!” Nova shouted as the gun clicked empty, and she began the rather slow process to reload. The MG had a massive punch and a good cyclic rate but it was a bitch to reload and hard to do on the move.
“Okay, plan C,” I said as I glanced at Aurora. “Babe, you and I are going out there. Nova, sweetie-pie, you have to keep the trolls from killing us until we’re close. Keep that machine gun pounding them until Aurora can suck out their souls. Let’s see them heal from that!”
“Good plan. One problem!” Aurora said as I readied the Eradicator. The trolls were only a hundred yards away, and I knew we could get there quickly. “What if someone shoots us?”
I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and reached out with my feelings. Like a Jedi I imagined and as soon as that image came to mind I felt the flutter of PoLarr’s consciousness on the edges of my brain. There was a brief instant of shock on her part and then it was like our thoughts were one. I opened my eyes and flicked the fire control on the Eradicator to full auto.
“PoLarr will take care of that, trust me.” I winked at Aurora, pointed my rifle in the air and let out a perfectly timed six round burst.
“What was that?” Aurora asked as PoLarr let out a similarly timed burst from her own guns. Only her bullets slammed into bazooka troll and flung him backward across the sand. It was amazing to say the least because she’d responded to me while she dodged nine arrows.
“That was the Val’Keerye signal for the cavalry has arrived, baby,” I said with a blood thirsty smile as I darted from cover and began to sprint across the sandy floor of the arena. Just like I’d thought, no one attacked me because they were all too focused on PoLarr to bother with silly old me. After all, the final blow for her was worth money. I was just some schmuck from Delaware.
“If you get me killed, Marc I will haunt you for a millenia,” Aurora said as she burst from cover to follow me. “To our left!”
I spun on my heel, but before I could even pull the trigger, PoLarr rained down death on the left side of the arena.
“Guess she’s got it covered,” I said and turned toward the troll Nova had pinned. “Let’s go.”
The troll was still on the ground when we reached it. It tried desperately to get to its feet but every time it got a leg or arm underneath it Nova would blow out the joint with a blast of the MG. It was a good strategy. She may not have been able to put it down for the count but sure as shit kept it down.
I spun on my heel and signaled for Nova to stop, and as her rain of metal death ceased, the silence in the arena was profound. I’d always forgotten how quiet a battlefield could be in the wake of gunfire.
“Aurora, do your thing!” I cried, as I baseball slid in behind the troll and actually used him as a shield and sighted down the barrel of the Eradicator. I focused my attention on arrow guy. He was still only concerned with PoLarr, and now th
at I was closer, I could see that he was using some kind of keypad on his bow to control the arrows.
“Your soul is mine!” I heard Aurora cry from behind me, a second before I heard a scream of abject terror erupt from the troll. I didn’t need to watch, and that was a good thing because bazooka troll was finally up, and unlike the leader, he seemed concerned about Aurora’s new dinner date.
I was just about to open up with the Eradicator when, I heard the chug-chug-chug of Nova’s heavy MG, and the bullets tore through the troll who danced under the impact of rounds going three thousand feet per second. It was sort of strange to see up close because as the rounds punched through its flesh, I could see the meat start to knit back together.
“Marc,” Aurora said from behind me as she dropped the troll’s lifeless head back on the sand. Her voice dripped with power, lust, and specter like violence as she spoke. “Nova and I will take care of buzzkill there. You help PoLarr with arrow boy since she’s too busy dodging his arrows to annihilate him!”
“Right!” I said, only as I turned, the ground around the dead troll and I exploded from below like a sand geyser, and a fucking honest to goodness sandworm burst from the ground beneath my feet and swallowed me whole in its mandible like jaws.
Chapter Eight
“And I thought you guys smelled bad on the outside,” I cried in an effort to keep myself from freaking the fuck out.
Keeping a lid on my emotions was difficult because I was sliding down the throat of a massive sandworm who had just eaten me whole, like it was some kind of nightmare waterpark ride, and as I tried to halt my fall, my hands scrabbled uselessly over the slimy interior of the creature.
It was dark, smelled like used gym socks filled with chicken shit, and the air was heavy and wet. My body was covered in slime from head to toe, and from the way it burned my exposed skin, I had a feeling that if I reached the bottom things would get way worse before they got better.