by Nalini Singh
"During his recovery," Illium said into the quiet, "right at the start, when Keir was basically trying to put him back together, Aodhan didn't speak, didn't meet anyone's eyes." Such pain in his voice. "He'd just stare at whatever nightmares existed in his mind, a broken doll."
The use of those words, Elena grasped, had been deliberate on Aodhan's part.
"The person who described him that way was an angel named Remus." Illium's hand clenched around Elena's with such strength that her bones hurt.
She said nothing, just listened.
"Remus was Keir's assistant at the time." He released a breath, eased his grip. "I'm sorry, Ellie."
"I'm hunter-born, Bluebell. A little squeeze won't do me any harm."
Chest rising and falling in an uneven rhythm, Illium said, "Remus was a failed member of the Luminata." He shifted to walk in the direction of her greenhouse, tugging her along with him.
She went, the glass structure a beacon of light on that side of the yard. It was the heat lamps within, the ones that nurtured her plans. "Did Remus get kicked out of Lumia?"
Illium's satisfaction was in his voice when he answered. "I always thought he must've been kicked out, too, but Remus insisted he'd left because he realized he hadn't finished living his life in the outside world yet. He implied that he'd be able to walk back into Lumia at any point in time."
"This Remus guy, he's not Keir's assistant any longer."
"No." A word so razor-edged the air bled. "Remus had no business being in a healer's employ." Coming to a standstill beside the greenhouse, Illium looked back toward the open doors to the library. "He spent a lot of time with Aodhan while Aodhan was in the Medica. I was there, too, as were the others of us who were with Raphael at that time, as well as Raphael himself. My mother. His parents."
He swallowed audibly. "I would've lived at the Medica had Keir allowed it--I couldn't bear to have Aodhan out of my sight after what had happened." Wings shifting restlessly, his fingers clenching down on hers again. "But every so often, Remus would tell us that as a healer's apprentice, he could see Aodhan was growing strained at the constant companionship, that he needed a little time to find his own peace. We didn't want to hurt him--we never wanted to hurt him--so we'd leave."
Hairs rose on the back of Elena's neck, an ugly feeling in her gut. "And this Remus dude would be alone with him?"
Illium nodded. "I came back early one day. I planned to sit outside Aodhan's room until Remus said it was okay to go in again." He broke their handclasp to spin away, a sound of raw rage erupting from his throat. "But the door was partially open," he said without turning back. "Because it was, I went closer in case Remus had cleared visitors . . . and I heard someone whispering in there. It was Remus. He was telling Aodhan he was a broken doll and that broken dolls needed masters."
Elena's eyes grew hot with fury. "Bastard."
"I didn't need to hear anything else. It was obvious Remus was using his position to abuse Aodhan, break down anything that remained inside him so Remus could 'own' him." Rage and tears vied for space in Illium's voice. "Everyone wants to own Aodhan. He's a beautiful jewel and the world can't bear just to look at him and wonder at his beauty. They want to break him, cage him."
"What did you do to Remus?"
"I threw him out of the room then proceeded to attempt to beat him to death," Illium responded in a tone so cold it caused goose bumps over her skin. "I would've succeeded if Aodhan hadn't spoken at last. It was so quiet, so soft, but I heard him. He said, Bluebell." Illium blew out a harsh breath. "It was like a gunshot going off inside my head. I dropped the bag of broken bones that was Remus and rushed into Aodhan's room--"
He cut off his words, as if the memory of that moment was too much to bear.
Shifting to stand beside him once more, Elena ran her hand gently over his wing, his feathers silky and warm under her palm. In profile, against the light of the greenhouse, he was a granite statue, his jaw clenched with agonizing force.
When he spoke, each word was a jagged chip of flint. "Remus was lying bleeding and broken outside when Raphael came. He didn't ask me anything at that time, just threw Remus in a treatment room and alerted Keir that one of his people needed his assistance."
"He knew you must've had good reason."
"When I was finally calm enough to speak, after Aodhan fell into a natural sleep, I told him what I'd overheard." He thrust a hand through his hair. "To this day, I don't know what Raphael said to Keir, but Remus was banished from the Medica for the duration of his immortal life. If he's ever injured, he must wait outside and hope someone comes to assist him."
Elena thought back to her time in the Refuge, came up blank. "I've never heard of him."
"He's an outcast." Harsh satisfaction ran through Illium's voice. "People respect Keir no matter their political affiliation. That he banished Remus was enough for most to shun him; none of us ever spoke publicly about the reason he'd been banished." Shoving back his hair again, his hand rough, he said, "We refused to give that bastard the satisfaction of having others look on Aodhan with pity. He survived hell, Ellie. He deserved nothing but accolades for his courage. Never pity."
Elena connected the dots, hissed out a breath. "Shit. Aodhan's obviously been speaking to him again." She could see why both Illium and Raphael had reacted so badly to the idea. "You're not worried that Remus was successful in brainwashing him, are you?"
An immediate shake of Illium's head. "That day, when Aodhan first woke, he told me that Remus was nothing, a worm. Aodhan had blanked him out the same way he'd done the rest of the world until he heard me in a rage, beating Remus to death."
Illium's voice broke. "Aodhan was worried about me. He was shattered, his body and soul wounded to the breaking point, and he was worried about me. That's what brought him back to us, his worry about me. And he kicks at me because I'm worried about him now?"
His hurt was so deep and so violent that Elena felt her own heart ache. "He's waking up more and more," she said, fighting her own angry response to the idea of Aodhan exposing himself to harm. "It's been a long process for him." The angel had been locked inside himself for an eternity before he decided to come to New York, spread his wings again. "He's going to react badly to anyone questioning his ability to look after himself."
Illium's jaw worked. "So I'm not allowed to worry about my friend?" His wing sliding away as he turned to face her, he shook his head again. "Do you know what it did to me when we lost him? The nearly two years he was gone?"
Not saying another word, he spread his wings and took off in a harsh gust of wind that whipped Elena's hair across her face. So fast and high that all she could do was watch him disappear into the stars.
8
Raphael, Bluebell is in the sky--I think we need to let him go. He was in no mood to listen to anyone right now.
I'll warn Dmitri to keep a watch for him.
Returning to the house, Elena stepped inside the library to find Aodhan still in his seat. He didn't appear to have eaten anything in the time she'd been gone, and when she walked in, his eyes went immediately to behind her. "Where is he?" he asked the instant he became aware Illium wasn't about to appear.
Elena shrugged and pointed up.
Jaw going taut, Aodhan stared at his plate. "Is he all right?" The question sounded like it had been torn out of him.
Elena decided to be honest. "Angry and hurt in equal measures."
Face flushing, Aodhan pushed back his own chair. "Sire, I will take my leave."
"I will see you on the dawn, Aodhan. Thank you for the information on the Luminata."
A quick nod later, Aodhan was gone in a cascade of light sparking off his feathers. So extraordinary, so beautiful.
Everyone wants to own Aodhan. He's a beautiful jewel and the world can't bear just to look at him and wonder at his beauty. They want to break him, cage him.
Taking her seat as Illium's passionate words echoed through her mind, Elena threw back half a glass of wine before an
gling her body to face Raphael. "Illium told me about Remus." She had to fight to keep her voice even. "I can see why you both reacted badly to the realization Aodhan must've been speaking to him. Why didn't you kill the bastard at the time?"
Wings sweeping to the floor in a white gold fall, her archangel leaned back in his chair, his eyes difficult to read. "It would've raised too many questions about exactly what he'd done to deserve such a final punishment."
Exposing what the asshole had tried to do to Aodhan.
"Aodhan was correct," Raphael added after a long pause. "He is no longer who he once was, who we have so long been accustomed to thinking of him as. He did what was necessary in his capacity as the warrior who will accompany us to the Luminata's inner sanctum."
Elena frowned. "Why did you choose Aodhan for the trip to Lumia? You had to know it would bring up a bad time of his life."
"I'm afraid your consort's memories let him down," Raphael said, a darkness in his expression that she could read very well; it was old, aged anger. "Prior to that moment when Remus rose to the forefront of my mind, I saw Aodhan only as he is now--a powerful member of my Seven who fought to save my city and who makes art full of quiet wonder. Remus was dealt with centuries ago--I had long forgotten him."
Elena nodded. "Yeah, I can see that. Aodhan's been so strong--he recovered from his battle injuries faster than anyone expected and he's far more sociable these days." Not in comparison to most people, but for Aodhan. "No wonder you forgot."
Drinking the last of the wine in his glass, Raphael placed the glass back on the table. "While you were outside, Aodhan told me that he was pleased to get the assignment, pleased at the silent acknowledgment that I didn't see him as too damaged to take on this task."
"Ah." Aodhan's coldly furious response to Raphael and Illium suddenly made even more sense. "Then you two spoiled it by bringing up his past." She shook her head. "How'd you fix that?"
"I'm not sure I did." Raphael rose. "Walk with me, Elena-mine."
Getting up, she slipped her hand into his. "Aodhan's still coming with us, right?"
"Of course. I made an error of judgment in questioning him, but I wouldn't compound it by changing his assignment when he remains more than equal to it."
"Good. Then we'll figure things out during the trip." Aodhan might be angry right now, but he was one of the most even-tempered of the Seven. He'd calm down . . . but then again, Elena hadn't known Aodhan before he was hurt, so she suddenly realized she might have no idea what she was talking about.
"Did he have a temper before he was taken?" While she didn't know exactly what had happened to him, she'd picked up enough to know he'd been kidnapped, held in captivity. The rest, as with Illium and his father, she had no right to know unless Aodhan chose to tell her.
Raphael's chuckle was a warm, rich sound in the night darkness. "He is a gifted artist, Elena, one of the greatest in angelkind, though he does not like it when we say thus."
"Artistic temperament? Okay, yeah, that I didn't figure."
"He rarely gives in to it. Illium was always the more volatile of the two, but Aodhan had his moments."
Elena worked through the idea of a hot-tempered Aodhan, began to smile. "Well, he might be pissed, but you know what?"
"What?"
"It means Sparkle really is coming back." Artistic temper and all.
"Yes," Raphael said with a slow smile, "you are right. Our Sparkle is indeed coming back to us." He raised his head to look up at the stars. "I wonder how long it will take your Bluebell to understand that?"
*
Artistic moodiness or not, Aodhan was in an even temper in the gray predawn light the next morning when he met Elena and Raphael for the flight to the plane that'd take them to Morocco. The baggage had already been sent forward, with Montgomery having taken full charge of that task.
"You will need gowns," the butler had told Elena. "The Luminata would be insulted if you stalked through their hallways in hunter gear."
Elena had scowled so hard her mother would've no doubt warned her that her face would freeze into that expression if she wasn't careful. "I am who I am."
"Even archangels respect the ways of the Luminata."
Well, that had shut her up. Who the hell was she to disregard rules the Cadre itself respected? "Damn it, what the heck do I pack?"
The butler's expression had been as restrained as usual, but she'd caught a glint of hidden laughter. "I will take care of it, Guild Hunter. I will also ensure that you have a gown on the plane that you can change into before you head for Lumia."
Elena had no idea what she'd do without Montgomery. Probably insult everyone around her without realizing it. "You have to wear formal gear, too?" she asked Aodhan now.
The other angel was currently dressed in warrior leathers of a beaten gold that suited his coloring so beautifully, she knew those leathers had been made for him and him alone. "Once we get to Lumia, I mean." Right now, she was in jeans, boots, a tee, and a thin sweater with leather straps that crisscrossed her torso.
"I am your escort," he responded. "I'm expected to be in leathers or other clothing suitable to a warrior."
"I hate you," Elena said without heat.
His eyes, those strange, hauntingly beautiful eyes of crystalline blue-green shards shattered outward from an obsidian pupil, warmed. "I'll let you hold my swords if you're nice."
"Very funny, Sparkle."
His eyebrows drew together over his eyes at her reference to the nickname he was trying to stamp out of existence. "I'm going to kill Illium," he said, not for the first time. But his eyes, they looked up, as if searching the skies for wings of blue and silver.
Those wings hadn't appeared by the time they took off from the Enclave. And despite Aodhan's teasing, Elena did have all her weapons. Raphael had told her that as a warrior-consort, she was expected to have weapons on her. "If Hannah turned up armed to the teeth, that would raise some eyebrows, but everyone is aware of the fact that my consort was and is a hunter."
That had cheered her up. Especially since Montgomery had made it a point to come out and tell her that the gowns he'd packed were such that she wouldn't be hindered in a fight should such a fight become necessary.
It was a good thing she'd made herself practice in gowns over the past two years. Her hunter friends found it a hoot to spar with her while she was glammed up, but the lunatics had helped her refine her technique. It was Ransom with his skin of copper gold, eyes of Irish green, and skill as a streetfighter who'd given her a tiny switchblade. "Even if you can't wear any other blade openly, you can hide this somewhere, use it to cut slits in your dress so you can run, find a weapon."
Elena had shown the dangerous weapon to Raphael. "Don't get worked up about another man giving me a blade," she'd ordered. "Ransom is very happily married, and I like this beauty."
Her archangel had said nothing--but Ransom's switchblade had disappeared mysteriously two days later, to be replaced by an even deadlier version.
Her archangel really didn't like it when anyone but him gave her a blade, she thought with a grin as all three of them lifted off, Elena flying off the cliff and down to the Hudson before sweeping up to join Aodhan and Raphael.
Waving to Montgomery when she saw the butler standing perfectly suited on the lush green of the lawn, she luxuriated in the cool air that ran over her wings and tugged at the small strands of hair that had escaped her tight braid. Aodhan had gone high, as he preferred, but Raphael was flying nearby. And his wings, they were dangerous white fire.
He could've outpaced her in a heartbeat, but he stayed on the same drafts, and when she looked over to him, he glanced back with a smile that was for her alone. They didn't speak; there was no need for it, the two of them in perfect harmony as they dipped and angled and rode along the winds. It felt as if they arrived at the airport far too fast.
Landing first, Raphael waited for her to join him, then the two of them watched Aodhan descend. He was a fracture of light, so bright
even in the pale dawn sunshine that Elena had to slide on sunglasses to continue to watch. Every part of him seemed to shimmer as he landed in front of her and folded back his wings.
The captain descended the steps of the plane at that instant. "Sire." The vampire inclined his head.
Elena had been around the Tower long enough to have caught on to the subtleties in the greetings Raphael received. Dmitri never bowed his head, his and Raphael's friendship far too deep, their trust too cemented to need it. As slight a bow as the captain had offered meant the other man was a powerful vampire who held Raphael's trust and respect.
Elena smiled at the medium height male built like a tank, all muscle and power. "Hey, Mack."
Dougal Mackenzie gave her a quelling look. "Consort."
He was such a stick in the mud. It put paid to all her ideas about Scottish lairds. Okay, fine, she hadn't actually had any ideas about Scottish lairds before meeting Dougal, but it just seemed wrong that he was so by-the-book. Maybe he was still sore that his clan had said he couldn't be laird for any longer than the span of a natural human life. Not fair to the coming generations to have a vampire laird who could live for thousands of years.
Of course, she was just speculating since Dougal had never deigned to satisfy her curiosity. Today, he met Raphael's eyes, said, "We're ready to take off on your word."
Dougal headed back inside after Raphael acknowledged the statement, while Elena raised her eyes to the sky once more. Come on, Bluebell. You know he needs you. Aodhan might be getting ever stronger, but he still permitted only Illium to touch him freely.
He wouldn't shrug off Elena's touch or Raphael's, but he wouldn't welcome it, either. It was more that he'd learned to bear it--no, that wasn't right. He'd held on to her hand when she needed it, given her comfort. It was better to say he could break through his trauma to make contact. Only with Illium was that barrier nonexistent.
That told Elena a lot about how far Aodhan still had to go.
"Raphael, you know what happened with those two last night?" she asked when the other angel removed his dual swords and harness and took them to store inside the plane, where they would be within arm's reach.