Slowly, I walked out into the room and spun in a circle as I surveyed the damage. My mirror had been smashed, stuffed bears ripped apart, including the one from Louis. My tears fell unchecked when I saw the bear and I crumpled to the floor. I couldn’t understand why someone would do that to me. What had I done to deserve someone destroying my room like this?
I couldn’t stay in my room for another second. As I started to push myself up to standing, my hand slipped and hit a slice of glass. The glass burned as it ripped into my palm. I squealed in pain and stood up, watching in detached fascination as blood ran down my fingers and dripped onto the carpet. I needed to wrap up my hand, but as I looked across the floor, I knew it’d be hard to get out of the room without slicing my feet open. There was glass everywhere and I wasn’t wearing shoes.
My shoes were by the door and I managed to reach them a few moments later, cradling my hand to my chest as I carefully made my way through the glass minefield around me. I picked each shoe up and shook it out, watching as a cascade of glass fell from each one onto the floor. My thoughts were focused on the fact that someone really wanted to hurt me. I opened the door and made my way along the hall. I could hear the steady thump of music and voices as I calmly walked to get the first aid box in the kitchen.
I was scared, freaked out, and nervous about staying in the house knowing the person who had trashed my room could still be inside, but before I could react to any of the emotions that threatened to overwhelm me, I needed to stop my hand from bleeding. I thought about what we’d learned in first aid at school and knew I needed to pinch the skin together and put pressure on the cut to stop the bleeding.
The kitchen was packed with people, but I moved around them keeping my eyes on the floor. A hand touched my arm and I glanced up into David’s kind face.
“Hey, what happened, Bailey?” I didn’t know how to describe what had happened to my room, so I decided to give him a partial truth.
“I slipped and sliced open my hand.”
He nodded at me and muttered as the others in the kitchen left us alone.
“Yeah, I can see that. You want some help with it?” My smile was small, but as I nodded at him, he smiled back at me. “Hold on, I just need to let Lish know. Give me two seconds.”
He turned and walked down the hall into the family room. I stood waiting for him to get back, but a sudden gust of wind made me turn around and I shot backward. Phil was standing at the open door with a murderous look in his eyes. “Do you like your room, Bailey?” His glare was malicious, but as voices sounded in the hall his eyes darted nervously to the door, and he stepped backward. “Be seeing you, Bails.”
My stomach dropped. He’d called me by Coop’s nickname for me and it unnerved me. My hands shook and I closed my eyes trying to compose my expression before anyone walked into the kitchen. David arrived first followed by Lish and Selene. Both girls took in my hand and my pale face and smiled at me.
“Hey, Bailey, how’s it going?” Lish asked and I smiled.
“Been better, honey.”
Both girls laughed and David glanced between us frowning in confusion. I turned and walked to the pantry grabbing the first aid kit. I took a second to catch my breath before I went back out. Lish and Selene had gone back to the party and David was sitting at the breakfast bar. He turned as I walked back into the room.
My hand was still bleeding, but it was slowing which was a bit of a relief. David pointed at the chair beside him and I slumped over to him, sliding into the seat and placing my palm on the table, face up. David picked up my hand and brought it closer to his face.
“Bailey,” he began when a sound behind us made us both turn around. There was no one there, but the kitchen door was swinging and through the door, I caught a glimpse of Coop’s retreating back.
He hadn’t seen my hand and had to have taken what had been happening the wrong way, though why his hurting bothered me, I wasn’t sure, especially with what had happened between us. Even so, my body thrummed with tension as David cleaned out the remaining glass from my hand and helped me to bandage it up.
“My dad’s a doctor and I’ve been doing this since I was old enough to stand.” He explained as I watched him in amazement. “If it swells or burns, you need to go to the ER.”
“Sure thing, thanks, David.” I leaned up and kissed his cheek before starting for the door. Jan was standing there watching us with an odd smile on her face.
“Everything okay, Jan?” I asked her as I passed her. She smiled wider and nodded at me but didn’t say a word.
All I wanted was to go to bed, but I couldn’t, so I decided to go sit in my car. The front door was locked, and the key wasn’t in the door. Everyone in the foyer watched me, and as I turned around, they all went back to their conversations. I knew I had blood all over me, so I decided to go use one of the bathrooms in the guest room that had been mine while I’d broken my leg. I tried the door and it was locked.
Moving along the hall, I tried the room that had been Coop’s, and when the door swung open, I breathed a sigh of relief. I tentatively stepped inside the room, before twisting the lock at my back. My eyes darted around the room. It wasn’t the first time I’d been in it, but the décor had changed. The room had been painted a rich brown, with cream splashes of color. The carpet was a rich cream and was so thick that I thought my feet would sink into it.
My eyes moved around the room and I saw a figure standing beside the window. Coop was staring out into the garden and his profile was breathtaking. His sharp features stood out against the moonlight behind him. He turned to me with a smile on his lips that slipped as soon as he registered it was me standing behind him.
“Bailey,” his hoarse voice sounded like a gunshot across the quiet room. He dropped his gorgeous eyes from mine, and my chest thrummed. My heart was putty in his hands and my body began to move towards him almost without conscious thought. When his eyes lifted to mine again, there was a coldness there that stopped me in my tracks.
“You can’t be in here.” He spoke with a firmness bordering on coldness which made my entire body stiffen. I moved towards the bathroom, ignoring him, and he reached out. His hand closing over my arm almost painfully made me stop when a knock at the door sounded.
“Coop, you in there?” Jan’s voice called out, and he dropped his hand from my arm calling out to her as he stepped away from me.
“Yeah, babe. Hold on.” He moved towards the door and I flicked on the bathroom light, closing the door with my foot as Coop’s eyes met mine in the mirror in the cream tiled bathroom. His eyes widened for a second, but the door closed before I could read too much into it.
I started the faucet and glanced at myself in the mirror. Blood was smeared on my cheek and all over the top of my chest. I was a mess. Specks of blood were in my hair and I wasn’t sure how they’d got in there. I grabbed a cream washcloth and dipped it into the water before scrubbing at my chest.
My right hand sat uselessly on the counter, but I ignored it and rubbed at my skin, trying to get the blood off. With each rub of the cloth, my breathing increased until I crumpled to the floor. Everything was going wrong again. Phil destroyed my room and Coop hated me, again. He was probably screwing her right on the other side of the bathroom door at that very moment. My breathing sped again at the thought and my body shook as I sank down to sit on the floor.
A knock sounded at the door and after a second it opened. I didn’t look up to see who’d come in. In all honesty, I didn’t care. I was so tired, and I couldn’t see in the darkness. Warm arms pulled me up onto a lap and the scent of Coop hit my nose. He pressed his lips to my forehead and sat on the floor with me until my breathing mellowed out.
After a few minutes, the panic attack had passed completely, and my body shuddered with exhaustion as I sat on Coop’s knee. He didn’t speak at all and when I glanced up at him, he was staring straight ahead with tears swimming in his eyes.
“Coop?” I asked hoarsely. His eyes dropped to mine and
then continued until they landed on the floor.
Tears poured from his eyes and ran down his nose.
“I was jealous,” he muttered and breathed in jaggedly. “I know how much I messed up, but, Bailey, you need to understand I don’t want to feel like this for you. Being in love with you sickens me. I shouldn’t want you the way I do.” His words cut into me like knives and I struggled trying to get out of his arms.
He held fast and spoke again.
“No, you don’t understand what I mean.” My breathing was ragged as I struggled to get away from him. “Bailey, please let me explain.” I shook my head as my tears spilled over.
“No,” I whispered, pain lacing my voice as I spoke, “you’ve said enough. I can’t hear anymore, not today. Please, just leave, Coop.”
His sharp intake of breath and loosening arms told me he heard me.
“I’m sorry, Bailey, you deserve so much better than my half-assed attempt at loving you.” He kissed the top of my head and gently slid me back onto the floor. As he stood my chest burned, but I didn’t say a word to him, and he left closing the door gently.
That was the last time we spoke for almost three weeks. I didn’t need to explain my wrecked room to our parents because while they were at the hospital it was cleaned up and any damages repaired. Knowing it was him, I slipped Coop a note to say thank you and that was the only communication we had. We didn’t even look at each other and if we accidentally touched, it burned, and we snatched our hands back straight away.
I joined the drama club and spent my days with Lish and Selene. We were all in the school Christmas musical together and I joined the choir with them, finding that I loved to sing and dance, almost as much as I loved to read and look at art. If we weren’t at school then we spent our days going to different art museums and looking at paintings. I loved critiquing the art, but Selene was desperate to paint. We spent a lot of afternoons and weekends in the museums and I loved the peace and serenity of exploring art.
She even convinced me to join the art club because she was an incredible artist, but she wasn’t allowed to go to study art at college. Her dad was a lawyer and her mom was a physicist, so they wanted her to do something more academic. We talked about it at length in art club and on our museum trips and she often came with me to see Zane at the hospital.
If Cooper was there with Jan, we’d go to get a coffee or go to the gift shop and get Zane a crazy gift. We’d gone up to the ward and sure enough, Cooper was sitting with Jan by his side. She never left him alone and I tried to be around them as little as possible, so we’d left without going in.
“Why does Cooper always look so sad?”
I was browsing the candy, trying to get Zane a candy bar to eat and I paused, dropping what I was holding as I turned to look at her.
“I’m not sure. He doesn’t speak to me. Why do you think he looks sad?”
She faced me and I could tell she was struggling with what to say since she was worrying her lip between her teeth.
“He just… he always smiles, but his eyes…” She paused for a moment and turned to face me. “He never has any light in his eyes anymore. It’s crazy.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I turned away from her and chose a Snickers, before walking to the magazines.
“Oooh did you see Jennifer Lawrence is supposedly seeing Liam Hemsworth?” I changed the subject to try and ease feeling uncomfortable with our conversation about Coop.
She came over and stood beside me as I scanned the article. We didn’t speak for a few minutes as I read the trashy article claiming they’d been spotted out together.
Selene cleared her throat as I closed the cover and put the magazine back on the shelf, going instead for a book. One Hundred and One Ways to Live Free. I picked it up and was about to turn it over when she spoke again.
“Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you…” Her pause didn’t last long as she took the book from my hand. “Why do you always clam up when I ask you about Cooper?” she asked in a quiet thoughtful tone.
I met her hazel eyes and wished I hadn’t because she always seemed to be able to see right through me, so I decided to go with a partial truth.
“We used to be friends and then we fell out. Now he hates me and I don’t know how to act around him now because he doesn’t speak to me at all…”
I paused as she nodded and patted my arm sympathetically.
“I thought you liked him or something?”
My instinct was to turn away and hide my face, but I forced out a laugh and shook my head.
“No. Not at all. Don’t be gross; we’re practically related…”
Not really, but according to his dad, it was enough. That was one of the reasons why he blew hot and cold with me.
I heard a huff from behind me and turned to see Cooper storming away. Luckily Selene didn’t notice because she was caught up looking at the cover of a book, but things changed after that. He was even icier with me. He wouldn’t even stay in the same room as me and whenever I entered a room, he made an excuse and left.
Even when my mom got us together to put up the Christmas tree, everyone danced around each other, but no-one actually spoke to each other. My mom tried to get us into the festive spirit, but Shawn worked more and more and barely came home before ten pm and Cooper was either at practice or with Jan, who’d changed her hair color to her natural brown color which made her look more pixie-like than before.
Christmastime was fast approaching, and I distracted myself from everything Coop with caroling, painting the set for the school Christmas talent show, and visiting Zane. Two days before school finished for Christmas break, I was out shopping with Lish and Selene when I spotted a shirt featuring Cooper’s favorite band. I picked it up and decided to get him it to try and bridge the gap between us.
“Who’s that for?” Lish asked as I walked over to pay for it.
I glanced at her as her eyebrows rose while she waited for me to answer. I wanted to tell her the truth, but I was worried that she’d overreact, so I lied.
“It’s for Zane; he really likes this band.”
She nodded at me and I could tell she didn’t really believe me, but I went ahead and bought it anyway. Selene joined me at the counter as I picked up a studded belt buckle that I knew Zane would really like.
As I paid for my purchases, I noticed both Selene and Lish looking out the window. My eyes followed theirs and I spotted Jan and Cooper standing across the street, with Shawn and my mom. I wanted to run and hide, but there was nowhere I could go. It was either go out the door to face them or hide in the store until they were gone.
Lish and Selene began walking towards the door, but I stood rooted to the spot as I watched Cooper slide Jan’s hair behind her ear as he leaned down to whisper something. I couldn’t make my feet move and I watched as my mom and Shawn climbed into the SUV, leaving Cooper and Jan standing at the curb.
I watched a moment longer, able to see them clearly despite the small flurries of snow that were falling. Just as I was about to move, Cooper looked across the street and right into the store. His eyes widened slightly as he saw me standing frozen and, for a moment, he just stared at me in what looked like longing. Jan tugged on his arm and he turned away, walking along the sidewalk without looking back.
I closed my eyes and gave myself a mental shake, before walking to the door and out into the flurries of snow with my two best friends. We began walking in the same direction as Cooper and Jan and I was praying hard that we wouldn’t meet up with them, but I had a gut feeling that we would.
As we waited to cross the street, I fidgeted with my bag and took out my cell, seeing a text from David to our group chat. He was bringing a friend, Marty, to the dance on Friday and he wondered if I wanted to be Marty’s plus-one since the other girls were taken.
I quickly replied that I’d be delighted as the crosswalk changed and the girls walked ahead of me. I was still replying as I crossed the street when a body slammed into min
e, shoving me back a few paces as a car screeched through the stop sign. I stumbled to the ground, My back slammed hard into the curb and I winced as my head hit a metal pole causing me to see spots.
“JESUS, BAILEY, ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL YOURSELF?” Cooper yelled at me as he pushed up from the ground next to me. Lish and Selene appeared by my side while Jan stood next to Cooper. I stared up at him confused before looking at the floor and saw my cell, which had slipped from my grasp as he slammed into me, crushed to pieces on the street.
“You broke my cell!” My mutter caused him to glance back as he stood up and he glared down at me.
“Yeah, but you’re alive, so you’re welcome!”
He stepped over me and was about to walk away when a police officer stopped him and began speaking to him. Another officer appeared at my side and asked me what happened, but when it became clear I didn’t know, she checked me over, dismissed me, and said that she would give me a ride home.
“Cooper is her stepbrother,” Lish informed the officer and she nodded at me.
“Righto. Two seconds.”
She walked over and spoke to her colleague who leaned close listening to her as I stood and gathered up my shopping bags. I was shaking as I glanced around. As I waited, I noticed my legs and ass were freezing from where the snow and icy water had soaked through my jeans.
“Come on. We’re going to take you and Mr. Christie home.”
“What, together? Doesn’t he have his car?”
The officer must have thought I was an idiot, but the thought of sitting in the back of a police cruiser with Cooper filled me with so much dread.
“Yes, together. We need to speak to your mom and stepfather, explain what has happened.”
Selene and Lish nodded as I told them that I was okay and would be going home, but my heart sank and my knees shook as they led me to their squad car. Cooper and Jan walked behind me, and I could hear them arguing about us getting a ride back together. Eventually, the female officer, Officer James, turned to Jan and told her off.
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