I opened the door from the hall and his room door was open. He was standing in the middle of the floor, and Jan stood in his arms. As I stood in the dark bathroom, she leaned up and brought her lips to his, and while the knife in my chest turned, he kissed her back. I backed up knocking one of the glass candles over. His eyes shot to mine, and he pulled away with a look of abject horror on his face.
I spun and ran back to my room. “Bailey,” he called after me, but I ignored him, locking my room door and hiding in my closet as my tears fell. A second later my door opened and the light broke in. Coop sat on the floor and reached for my hand. I couldn’t figure out how he’d gotten into my room when the door was locked, but I didn’t want to even try to work that one out.
I snatched it away from him, and he looked down at his lap. “That wasn’t what it looked like, Bails.” His voice was soft, but he couldn’t look at me. My body shook and my heart pounded loudly in my ears as my anger threatened to overwhelm me.
“Really, Coop? You kissing Jan not ten minutes after you kissed me isn’t what it looks like?” my voice broke as I asked him.
His sharp intake of breath told me I’d hit my mark and when he lifted his eyes, I could see the conflict in his eyes. “She needs me, you don’t know what she’s going through, but please trust me?” His eyes swam, and he glanced down at the ground again.
“Trust you? How can I trust you? Maybe this… us isn’t a good idea.”
He sucked in a rough breath and his hands lifted to his face, and he looked at me completely destroyed.
“You don’t want me anymore?” he asked with his voice cracking on each word. “Please, please don’t do this, Bailey?”
His eyes spilled over, and I leaned back against the wall, watching him impassively, while my heart begged me to hear him out.
“Coop, I do want you, but this is so complicated. It hurts and every single thing is against us. Do you want me?” He nodded and moved over, wrapping his hand around my neck. His breath was ragged as he held me a millimeter from his lips.
“Bails, when I see you, all I want is you. I haven’t been able to think straight for the last year. You’ve changed everything and I love you so much, so I’m asking… no… begging you, please just give me a chance. Just one more chance and I’ll prove to you how in love with you I am…” His lips pressed to mine, and he kissed me hard. My breathing stuttered and as much as I wanted to give him a chance, I couldn’t risk him breaking my heart.
“Coop, no. I can’t.” I shook my head, and as he broke apart in my arms, he sobbed.
“I’m sorry, Bailey. I’m so, so sorry.” Every tear rubbed at me like salt into a wound and I wanted so much to let him in. I spoke again, my voice thick with tears.
“Coop.” Every word was an effort and speaking around the lump in my throat hurt. “I want to let you in, but every time I do, something happens to us. Our parents are so against us and what happened there…”
He pressed his lips to mine and tried to kiss me, but I held back and didn’t move my lips.
“I never meant to kiss her, and I’ve never kissed her like I kiss you. You’re it for me, Bails, and I know you don’t believe me right now, but I just want you to know I’m yours and I’ve been yours since we first met.” He kissed me again softly and his breath on my lips confused me and made me want him when I knew I should have been pushing him away. I moved closer and pressed my body into his.
He sighed in relief as I kissed him. His fingers ran over my neck, and he moved us, so he was lying on top of me, leaning on his arms. “Bailey, I have never loved anyone until you,” he muttered as he moved his hips in between my legs. He moved slowly and leaned down, hovering above me. “Please, believe me, I am so lost to you that I can’t be with anyone else. I didn’t mean to kiss her back, she caught me off guard, and I was about to pull back I swear when I heard the glass crack.”
He rocked his hips into me. I shuddered and moaned as he bent down, kissing my neck slowly. His tongue swirled around, and he pressed into me harder.
“It’s you. It’s always been you,” I moaned, and he growled at me.
“Bails, look at me.” I dragged my eyes up to meet his and I could see his feelings shining through in his eyes. “I love you,” he muttered meeting my eyes and when he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine, I decided to give him one more chance, but if he messed this one up, we were over.
I followed his lead and when he stripped me down to my blue underwear, his eyes were on fire as he took me in.
“God, you are so beautiful.” A smile crossed his lips and he sat up onto his heels, pulling his top over his head and pulling down his jeans. His mild earthy aroma filled the room, and I licked my lips as I took in his heavenly body above me.
He watched me watch him and his gaze heated. As he leaned down there was a knock at my door and he groaned, ignoring it. His large erection pressed against me and I moaned. His lips covered mine and he swallowed my moan, panting as he moved over me. I ran my hand down his back and slipped my hands under his black boxer briefs.
He sucked in a breath and bit down gently on my neck.
“Bailey, do you want to?” He stopped there and I knew he was asking if I wanted to have sex with him. I moaned again as he pressed against my sensitive spot between my legs and he bit me again.
“Yes,” I breathed out and his answering smile was dazzling.
“I don’t have a condom, so I’ll need to pull out.” I shook my head. “God, Bails, please don’t say you don’t want to do this anymore.”
“No, Coop, it’s not that.” At my breathless whisper, he rocked his hips against me again and I could feel my body coiling like a spring. “In my cabinet, there’s a packet.” We’d all been given them at health week in school and I’d shoved them in there afterwards. He nodded at me and slowly pulled away from me, leaving me there as he sprinted out to my room. He was back within ten seconds with the unopened packet in his hand.
He dropped to his knees and gently ran his finger under the waistband of my thong. He slipped it down one-handed and smiled as he ran his finger over my most sensitive part. He pressed onto my clit and pulled one leg out of my pants, then the other with his thumb pressing into my clit. He then spread my legs. My breathing sped up, and when he slipped his index finger into me, I moaned and threw my head back.
“No, Bails,” his low voice whispered, and I opened my eyes and met his gaze. “Watch me as I show you how much I FUCKING LOVE YOU.” I watched him as he lifted my legs and put them over his shoulders. He lowered himself down and I squirmed wondering if I smelled, wondering if it was okay to let him do this and then wondering why I hadn’t let anyone do this to me before.
He pressed his tongue down gently and ran it up and down. I squirmed, and he used his hands to steady my hips. As he pressed his tongue down again, he pushed it further inside me and my body began to heat up. I breathed harshly, and he sucked a little on my clit, which elicited a low moan from me. He groaned against me and slipped a finger into me, pressing upwards as his mouth licked and sucked on my clit making me squirm harder.
The tightening in my abdomen grew and grew and as my body heated, I ran my fingers into his hair, curling his brown hair around my hand. My other hand was splayed on the floor and as he licked, sucked, and fingered me I came apart in a loud moan. My body shuddered over and over, and he smirked down at me. He leaned over me and his rock-solid erection pressed against me. My loud moan caused him to thrust a little.
He pressed his lips to mine and ran his cock up and down my slits as his tongue slid into my mouth.
“Coop,” I whispered, completely undone by him, “that was… that was... erm.” I couldn’t articulate anything. My thoughts were scattered, and my body still shuddered as he pressed his bare cock against me. He smiled and pressed his lips to mine more firmly, slipping his tongue into my mouth.
“Bails, I wanna have sex with you now. Are you sure this is what you want?” I nodded against his mouth, reaching o
ver and grabbing the condom packet off the floor, quickly pulling one out.
He kissed me harder and his breathing sounded harsh and loud in my ears. He sat back and watched me as I ripped the top from the condom wrapper. I was going to hand it to him, but I wanted to do this. I wanted to make our first time together memorable, so I scurried up a little, using my shoe rack to push me up into a sitting position. His eyes widened in fear as I moved away from him, but when I moved back towards him, the fear eased from his expression.
I reached out tentatively and ran my fingers up and down his cock. It pulsed under my touch and a little moisture rolled out of the top, so I leaned down and licked it off. It was salty and sticky, but I didn’t stop there, I lowered my mouth and covered the head of his cock, sucking gently. His sharp intake of breath told me he was enjoying it and I lowered my mouth licking and sucking the whole time.
His fingers closed over my hair, and he thrust gently upwards once.
“Bails,” he hissed out through his teeth, “you need to stop now, or I’m gonna come.” I continued, and he pulled on my hair. “Bails,” he groaned and thrust upwards again, “please, I wanna come inside you.” I sucked one last time and moved off his cock.
Lowering the condom over him, he rolled his head back and moaned loudly. “Jeez, Bails, you’re gonna kill me.” When the condom was on, he lowered me onto my back and gently positioned himself at my entrance. His body trembled and I held his ass, pulling him towards me. As he pushed inside, a burning sensation made my eyes water, and he looked at me open-mouthed.
He pulled back a little and pushed in again and I grimaced.
“Bails, is this the first…” I nodded and stuck my lips to his, cutting off what he was saying. After a beat, he whispered softly into my mouth, “God, I fucking love you, Bailey Walker.”
He kissed me again and thrust inside me again. It didn’t hurt as much this time, and he increased his speed a little. My body began to tighten again as he thrust in and up, and I exploded around him, clenching and unclenching. A second later Coop followed, and he collapsed down gently on me, his heart racing.
We didn’t speak for a moment, but as he pulled out of me it burned and my hands tightened on his ass.
“Did I hurt you, Bails?” His voice sounded tight and hurt, but when I leaned up and kissed him, he relaxed.
“No, Coop. That was incredible.” He kissed me back slowly and tangled his fingers in my hair.
“God, I fucking love you, Bails,” his low voice mumbled asking my lips as he kissed me.
“Coop,” I murmured, and he breathed,
“Yes,” kissing my lips, neck, and sucking on my tongue.
“I love you too.”
His body shuddered at my words, and he pressed his forehead to mine, gazing into my eyes.
“There’s no one else for me, babe. I’ll love you forever.”
His gentle kiss made me shiver all over and the love shining from him made my body pulse with desire again. He leaned down beside me and muttered, “Sleep with me?” I gave him a sardonic look and he laughed. After a second, I joined in, and he pressed his lips to meet mine. “I just mean sleep, nothing else.”
He moved away from me, taking the condom off and knotting it before he pulled his briefs and top on. I watched him with tired fascination as his muscles rippled, and he met my gaze with a cheeky smirk.
“Stop perving on me.”
I giggled and his answering smile dazzled me. As I sucked in a breath, he moved back towards me. “Bails, get dressed or I’m gonna come down there and make you come again.”
I smirked up at him, and he moved closer to me. The smile on his lips was incredible and relaxed as he threw me my sweats. I pulled them on, leaving my thong on the floor. His eyes widened as I pulled them up, and he moved towards me kissing me hard as his hand pressed against my back. After a second, he pulled back and handed me my tank, his fingers grazing my breasts.
My eyes widened, and he met my heated gaze with one of his own. We needed to get out of this closet before we combusted. I stepped back and grabbed my tank pulling it down, before slipping my fingers into his and heading out into my room. He led me over to my bed and kissed my head. “I’ll be right back, and Bails.” I lifted my eyes to his.
“I love you so much.”
He leaned down and licked my lip gently with his tongue before slipping his tongue into my mouth.
He walked to the door with a swagger and I laughed at how relaxed he was. I was feeling pretty sleepy myself and I relaxed back onto my pillows when Coop’s voice echoed along the hall. “What the actual fuck?” he shouted out, and I knew I needed to go to him, but I was cozy in my warm cocoon of covers and blankets. Footsteps sounded on the landing and I turned my head to see what was going on when Coop appeared at my door. His face was tight, and his anger was barely contained. He shook as he stood in my doorway and my eyes narrowed in confusion.
“Coop, what is it?” He shrugged and closed the door, leaving me even more confused than ever. I scooted to the edge of the bed and slipped my feet into my slippers. I moved towards the door and opened it slowly. Coop was standing outside the door and staring hard at Jan. She was facing away from me, but Coop’s eyes met mine and a defeated look crossed his eyes.
I heard what she was showing him and my stomach rolled. “Bails, I FUCKING LOVE YOU” played loudly and I heard our gasps and moans as we made love. My face fell and I knew what was going on. She was threatening to share our most intimate moment with our parents, unless… Unless what? My eyes lifted to Coop’s as a tear rolled down his cheek. He nodded once at me and turned his head to look at her.
“Jan,” he whispered seductively, “I needed to fuck her so I could fuck with her mind. I don’t love her; I was just using her to make you jealous because since you dumped my ass, I’ve been a mess. I wanted you back, but I didn’t know how to tell you.” His shoulders were stiff, and he slipped his arm around her, leading her away from me as my world crashed around my ears.
He turned back to face me at his room door and at that moment, I knew he’d lied to her to protect me, but then his eyes hardened, and he moved into his room, closing the door. My stomach rolled and I retched, running to the bathroom just in time. As the contents of my stomach poured out, my sobs began.
Later that night, he appeared at my door. I was a puffy mess. I knew what he was doing and why, but it hurt so badly that he’d had to choose her; she didn’t give him a choice. His face was pale and his eyes dark as he opened my door and let himself into my room.
“Bails,” he whispered when my eyes fell from his, “please believe me, I had no idea.”
He moved towards the bed and I stiffened watching as he froze. “I know what you did and why, but I can’t be around you right now. Please leave.” My throat stung as the words ripped from me. Tears dripped from his nose, and he backed up towards the door.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered as he opened the door.
As the door closed a dark cloud swam over me and swallowed me whole. I didn’t surface for days and when the snow cleared enough for Zane to come home from Clara’s, I spent time sitting with him, watching TV, and avoiding Coop and Jan. Zane knew something had happened with Coop and me during the snow day, but he didn’t ask and I didn’t say.
The next few months were tough; I’d cut myself off from my friends and hid out in the library during lunchtime. I studied hard; it was the only thing that distracted me from the constant ache in my chest. An ache that got worse every time I saw Coop and Jan together. She looked smugly at me whenever she saw me, and I did my best to ignore her completely.
One day at the end of May, I was hanging lights in the gymnasium for the senior prom when Jan arrived. She moved towards me and my stomach rolled. I really hated her and I wouldn’t even look at her.
“That one’s uneven,” she spoke to me, pointing at the light I was working on. It wasn’t, she was just trying to mess with me, but I ignored her doing my best to concentrate on hangi
ng the lights. She followed me around the gymnasium and criticized me at every opportunity. Just as I was about at my wit’s end, Coop came in. His eyes widened as he saw her speaking to me, and he walked over. She didn’t see him and as I jumped down from the stage, she opened her mouth to speak to me.
“Bitchy Bails, it must really sting you to not be able to have Cooper. I mean when he chose me over you, that had to have hurt.” Her eyes narrowed maliciously, and I glared at Coop over her shoulder, losing my temper for the first time, even though she’d been saying that kind of shit to me for a while.
“No, Jan, it doesn’t sting. You two deserve each other but think about it this way. I’ve never had to blackmail a guy to want to date me.” I barged by them and saw the raw agony in Coop’s eyes as I moved away from them. As the door swung closed, my hands shook, and I marched away from the gymnasium. It took a few minutes for me to realize that I had headed in the wrong direction and I had to turn around and walk back down the hall.
The lights were all out and the school looked eerie in the darkness, but I knew I was going the right way when I heard voices coming from the parking lot. Jan was standing facing Coop who had his back to me.
“My dad’s been offered a job in DC. We’re leaving at the end of the week.” Jan told him and Coop just stared at her for a moment before he glanced around. I hid behind one of the bushes and listened as they spoke.
“I’m sorry about what I said to Bailey, apologize to her for me.” Coop shook his head no and as his head moved I could see his profile and could see the sadness etched there.
“She won’t speak to me, so I can’t tell her anything.” The pain that laced his voice as he said those words almost undid me. Two months of no contact was tough and pretending in front of our folks was harder when we had to sit and make small talk.
After a few minutes, they moved away and I stayed sitting behind the bush. Jan was leaving; she was actually leaving. Eventually, I knew I had to go home. As I walked to my car, I saw that the door had been keyed, and the window smashed. I knew Jan had done it as revenge, but I didn’t care. I dialed Zane, but his cell went straight to voicemail. He was doing that a lot, not answering calls, and disappearing for days at a time.
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