His face was furious, and he leaned over me. “Where. Are. My. Keys?” he asked, accentuating each word. I shrugged, and he hit the wall behind my head hard. My head rattled and my eyes widened. “Where. Are. My. Fucking. Keys?” he asked again, louder and more forceful. He hit the wall closer this time and my hair moved in the breeze.
Zane walked up the stairs and shoved Coop away from me. My whole body shook in horror and my plate slipped from my fingers shattering on the floor. Zane stood in front of Coop shouting at him, but his words didn’t register. I spun and headed for the stairs as Coop called after me.
“Bailey, shit. I’m sorry.” I didn’t answer him, just ran down the stairs and went out the back door onto the deck.
It didn’t matter that it had started to rain or that the wind was picking up. He’d never looked at me like that before; he’d scared me, and I wanted to be nowhere near him. Adrenaline thrummed through me and I couldn’t stop my hands from shaking. I paced around the gazebo watching the water and shaking my hands in front of me as I willed myself to try and calm down, to breathe normally, but nothing was working.
The image of his face as he stood over me, rigid in anger blew everything else out of my mind and my eyes started to water. I scrubbed my hands over my face as I heard gentle footsteps on the wooden path. My eyes shot over and when I saw it was Coop, I wanted to take off, but there was nowhere for me to go unless I went into the water. I considered it and he held his hands up as my face tightened when I looked back at him.
“Bails.” His voice was low and uncertain. I couldn’t look at him, it hurt so badly to meet his eyes, so I turned and stared out over the water. He moved closer to me and I moved away. His ragged breath told me that my reaction was hurting him. Great, serves him right, I thought.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t think and I shouldn’t have reacted like that.” I shrugged and stared out at the water. His eyes were on me and his gaze burned into me, but I didn’t want him anywhere near me. I was sorely tempted to push him into the water. “Look at me, please?” his voice begged, but I shook my head again, unable to speak through the lump in my throat.
I turned and went to move away when his hand shot out and closed over my wrist. “Let me go,” I managed in a broken whisper, and he dropped his hand instantly.
“Please, Bails, this is so unfair. I am so in love with you and I don’t want things to be how they are. Just let me explain. Hear me out.”
His words lit a fuse in me, and I spun around. “It isn’t fair for you. Are you serious? You’re a selfish prick, Cooper; have you considered for a second how much you’ve hurt me. You say you love me, but this isn’t love. This is a goddamn clusterfuck of a mess.” I sucked in a breath and watched as his eyes widened. “I get it that you think you love me, but if you really did, you’d never have slept with her… No, you’d never have let her manipulate you into having her… in fact, you’d never have tried to use her to get to me.”
I turned and ran into the house, bumping into Zane on the stairs. He took one look at me and pulled me into his arms. He held me as I sobbed and rubbed my back. As I calmed down, he pushed me towards the stairs.
“Go to bed, Bailey. You look exhausted.” I kissed his cheek, and he smiled at me as I rounded the stairs.
I went up to my room and instantly knew something was off. I moved around for a moment, but I couldn’t see what was out of place. As I stepped towards the dresser, I saw the carpet over my hiding hole was turned up. I moved towards it and glanced in to see a note. I opened it and saw a note from Coop.
It’s not nice when someone takes what doesn’t belong to them, is it?
I stormed from my room, and he was walking along the hallway slowly, with his face staring down. His eyes lifted when he heard me, but he recoiled at the fury that must have been evident on my face. I slapped him hard when I reached him and dropped his note at his feet. I spun away from him as he looked between me and the note at his feet. “Shit,” I heard him mutter, and he rushed into his room.
I grabbed clean pj’s from the dresser and stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door. My anger didn’t abate, I’d never have done that to him. I’d never have taken his mom’s photos from him. My anger led to tears as I realized we’d made a huge mistake. I should never have fallen for him. I’d given him the power to break me, and he’d broken me more times than I could count.
I tugged at my hair and braided it into two side braids. My eyes were wide, but the pain was evident in them. I stood in my underwear shaking with fury and hurt. I didn’t know which emotion was stronger, but I hated him at that moment and I’d never forgive him for making me feel like I did then. I yanked my top over my head and pulled on my shorts.
As I opened the room door, my eyes swept the room and I didn’t see him anywhere. I moved into the room, and he appeared at my side. He took my hand into his and I spun around, wanting to slap his stupid face, but the pain in his eyes stopped me.
“Bailey,” he whispered and dropped to his knees. His shoulders shook as he held my hand. “I’m so fucking lost. I don’t know which way is up. I shouldn’t have been with her at all. I made a mistake and now you’re paying for it.” His pain was my pain and I crumpled to the floor beside him. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I swear the look you gave me as you ran towards the stairs will haunt me forever. I am so, so sorry about everything. I bet you wish you’d never met me now.”
He paused there and when I didn’t correct him, his shoulders dropped lower. He nodded and kissed my hand gently. His kisses always burned me, but this one was something different. “I know it’s not an excuse, but I love you and I’ll never be sorry I met you, Bailey.” He paused and breathed me in for a second. “Sorry for how I treated you, sure, but I’ll never ever for falling for you.”
He stood and moved towards the door. “I can’t do this to you anymore. I’m gonna stay away from you until I get my shit sorted out. She’s gone, Jan. She left today. Her parents dragged her out of here this morning.” He leaned on the door and glanced back at me once. “Bails, I know how much you hate me right now, but I swear I didn’t do anything to Louis’s things, they are all back and I shouldn’t have taken them.”
I went to bed, a mixture of emotions whirling through me. On some levels, I felt better since we’d talked it out and the fact that Jan was gone, but the stabbing feeling of betrayal when I thought about the fact that she was pregnant by him came over and over. Eventually, I fell asleep, waking after only a few hours. I walked by his room and purposefully stared straight ahead because I couldn’t cope with seeing him.
As I walked by the family room, heading to the kitchen, the boys were sitting on the sofa talking softly and Coop’s eyes shot to mine. His gaze heated, but after a second, he dropped his gaze and Zane turned to face me.
“Bailey, we have pizza if you’re hungry and there are sodas on the counter.” I nodded and moved towards the kitchen, grabbing a soda and some chips out of the bowl.
Coop came in at my back and moved around me, grabbing a few beers from the counter. He nodded at me and walked out as I tilted my head back pouring the chips into my mouth. His huff of breath surprised me, and my eyes shot to his. I caught the look of hunger in them before he turned and moved into the hallway.
A few seconds later I went into the family room and Zane was sitting in the middle of the couch, with me on one side and Coop on the other. We began chasing zombies on the Xbox and around four a.m. Zane went to bed, leaving Coop and me alone. I was relaxed around him, more relaxed than I’d been in a while, and we sat shooting the heads off zombies. Eventually, though I decided to call it a night. He watched me walk to the door and smiled as I turned catching him watch me.
I gave a small wave and he nodded at me. He leaned down and picked up his sixth beer of the night and swallowed it down. As I moved slowly up the stairs, I paused on the first floor, hearing Zane snore and I continued up the stairs to my room. Coop was coming up at my back, but all he did was nod at me as he walk
ed into his room.
The next few weeks passed in the same way, playing games on the weekends and avoiding each other all week at school.
On the night of Prom, I’d gotten dressed in a black and silver dress, with my hair pinned up in curls and my make-up done. I’d gone downstairs just before my ride was due to arrive, but my mom made me stay for photos.
Cooper came down in his rented tux and he was breathtaking. I tried not to look at him, but my mom made us stand together for a few photographs. Copper stood stiffly beside me and when my mom left us alone, he turned to me. His eyes blazed as he took me in and I watched him run his hands up through his hair.
“Bails, you look stunning.” His low whisper sent shivers through me and I almost stepped towards him, but before I could move my mom was back. As soon as my mom was back he turned and walked to the window.
“Bailey,” he spoke in a clear voice. “Your ride is here.”
My mom tittered and captured a few more images of me as I left and went to the limo with David, Selene, Lish, and Grayson. Just before we left I saw Cooper standing at the window. The light framed his back and he looked like a work of art, but I couldn’t make out his expression, so I shrugged it off. The ride was fun and it was nice to see how gorgeous the gym hall looked thanks to all our hard work.
When Coop arrived on his own he told everyone he didn’t want another complication, but only his closest friends knew what had gone on, so rumors had begun to circulate that he was in love with someone else. I ignored the rumors and stayed with my small group of friends.
I tried to ignore him, but every so often I’d catch myself looking around for him and occasionally I spotted him. He was standing with Pete and Ollie drinking punch, one of the times and he caught my gaze and smiled at me for a beat before he turned his back to me.
I saw him a few more times while I was on the dancefloor and almost bumped into him on my way to the bathroom but his friend shoved me out of the way. Coop didn’t seem to notice. His eyes were glazed over and he looked wasted as he passed me. I almost went after him, but then I realized he wouldn’t want that, so I let it go and ignored him completely for the remainder of the night.
I’d gone to stay with my grandparents a few times over the next few weeks and they’d set me up with their neighbor’s grandson. We’d gone on a few dates, but I’d quickly realized I wasn’t his type; I was the wrong sex for him, and he was only “dating” me to stay in the closet until he was given his trust fund at eighteen, he couldn’t tell his parents or grandparents the truth.
On our first date, we went to an old-fashioned Italian restaurant, and then to the movies. Jay was tall, Jamaican with shoulder-length dreads, and he was gorgeous. His toned abs were good enough to eat off of and his ass was tight, but his looks came second to his ridiculously warm personality.
He was vibrant, full of life, and sweet as sin, so even though we weren’t dating, he still kissed me and hugged me. He knew all about Coop and the mess that was us, and he gave me some sage advice about the whole saga during one of our dates.
It was our third date and I’d just figured out Jay wasn’t attracted to me or the female populace at all. He hid it well, but as we sat, he had noticed the busboy cleaning the table opposite us and his eyes kept darting to the table and away again.
“Girl, what ya watching me for?” His smile was dazzling, and his bright white teeth shone out against his dark skin beautifully. His brown eyes crinkled in amusement, and he smirked as I watched him. I put my hand over his and smiled at him.
“Jay, are you, you know… erm.” It was harder to get those words out than I’d thought. “Are you gay?”
His eyes narrowed on mine, and he pulled his hand away from me, breathing hard. He stood up and shoved off from the table storming to the bathroom just as the bill arrived. I paid the bill and waited for Jay to return, but after ten minutes he didn’t come back and I left the table and walked outside.
He was standing outside the doors, laughing with the busboy. I smiled and hid beside the door and when they exchanged numbers, I walked over towards them. He smiled at me and nodded down the sidewalk. I kept walking and within a few minutes he caught up to me.
“Girl, how did you know?” I shrugged at him, and he shoved me gently, his eyes were wary, and he swallowed. It was really bothering him, and I smiled, kissing his cheek gently.
“I saw you eying up the busboy.” His shoulders dropped and I linked my fingers with his. He glanced down and then back up at me.
“And it doesn’t bother you?”
My face broke out into a smile, which fell when I saw how hard he was taking it that I’d figured out his secret.
“No, it doesn’t bother me at all. Does it bother you?” He clenched his fingers and shrugged. I stopped and pulled him round to face me. He wouldn’t meet my eyes and I leaned into him. His eyes swam with tears.
“I tried,” he whispered, “I tried really hard to feel something for you, but I just don’t. You are gorgeous and amazing, and I’d be lucky to have someone like you, but I just don’t feel like that for you.” He breathed harshly and pressed his fingers to his nose.
“Hey, it’s okay. I’m not in love with you either.” He visibly relaxed as he glanced at me.
“Oh yeah, why not?” he joked playfully as I smiled at him as I contemplated my answer.
“It’s complicated,” I told him with a sigh as we crossed Main Street and headed towards the outskirts of town. We walked in silence for ten minutes and reached my grandparents’ land.
He walked me up the path but put his hand on my arm before we reached the halfway mark. He nodded into the field and turned to walk that way. I followed after him feeling confused, but I trusted him and if he wanted to talk, that was completely fine with me. We sat on the old treehouse, hidden from the farms on both sides and it was dark until he turned on a flashlight sitting nestled in the branches.
I smiled because the place brought back some happy memories of playing with Louis. Jay smiled at me and spoke softly.
“So, what’s so complicated about your love life that you’d let a Greek god-like me slip away?” I laughed at his face, but he put his hand over mine. “Bailey, you need to talk about this. I can tell something is bothering you, but if you don’t talk about it, it’ll weigh on you until it drives you mad.”
I swallowed and stared outside, watching the clouds rolling across an almost clear sky as I thought about opening up to him about everything that had happened. It was tearing me apart; I could barely see Coop without feeling like my soul was shattering. After what happened when I’d returned home after I ran away, he was being careful with me. He couldn’t be around me either, and when we were alone, he was careful to try not to touch me.
I opened my mouth a few times, my hair blowing in a gentle May breeze, and Jay put his fingers through mine and his touch gave me the strength I needed to spill my story. “One thing you have to promise is that you won’t judge me or be mean about what I’m about to tell you.” He nodded and kissed me on the cheek.
We sat long into the night and I gave him the whole story from the beginning and his face became colder until it looked as though it had been carved from ice. As I told him about the pregnancy, he snorted, and I stared at him. He glanced at me and spoke, “Sweetie, she’s not pregnant. She wanted to fuck with him one last time, and he fell for it hook, line, and sinker.”
I shrugged and continued right up to telling him about how Coop lost it when I arrived back after taking off. His snort of surprise and laugh as I told him I’d taken off in Coop’s car made me smile and his words gave me comfort.
“He couldn’t really blame you for that, douche needs to get his shit together.” He pulled me into his arms and hugged me tight, whispered in my ear, “Girl, you better keep me away from him or I won’t be responsible for my actions.”
I turned and kissed his cheek, and he smiled down at me.
“Can I keep you as my friend?” he asked in a small voice an
d I stared up at him.
“Course you get to keep me, Jay, I’m going nowhere.” He relaxed, and we spent the remainder of the night talking about all the ways I could get back at Coop, but as he led me to my grandparents’ two hours later, he kissed me softly on the lips and told me that he’d be there for me whenever I needed him.
We spent a lot of time texting over the next few weeks, but we were both busy studying, so we didn’t see each other much and I didn’t care. I went to sleep thinking of how nice it would be when all our classes were over, and I couldn’t wait to get some time off.
Coop was taking his finals, so he was studying really hard and I didn’t really see him much, but on the day his results came through, he came to find me before opening them. We sat on my bed, and he took my hand in his as he opened the envelope. His fingers tensed in mine as he pulled the letter from the envelope.
As we both took in his results he turned and captured my lips in a soft kiss. “Thank you, Bails.” I looked at him completely confused and he elaborated. “Thank you for still being here. I know it’s not been easy over the last few months and I couldn’t bring myself to be with anyone, especially you.” With that he stood and left, and I didn’t see him for a few days since his dad took him out of town to celebrate.
I saw Jay a few more times, but we didn’t discuss Coop again, nor did I tell Coop about him. I didn’t want to have to explain that there was nothing to worry about there or tell anyone he was gay without Jay’s permission. I sat with Coop and Zane the following Friday, as they killed zombies and caused explosions, but I wasn’t joining in, I was reading a book and my face heated as some of the content made me blush. It was about a rich guy and an innocent girl succumbing to his charms.
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