He pressed his lips to mine once more, softly this time and his tongue whispered against mine. He spoke once he pulled back, “God, I really love you.” He left, and I was left standing in the bathroom feeling numb and confused but elated too. My body was full of adrenaline, but there was fear in me too. Fear of being discovered, fear of how much I loved Coop, and how hard we’d need to work to hide our feelings for each other.
If only my mom hadn’t married his dad, we could have dated normally and had a normal relationship. I went to bed grumbling about how unfair it was that he was my stepbrother and I fell asleep dreaming of his lips caressing mine. I missed him being beside me and I’d miss seeing him as I climbed into bed and in the mornings when we bumped into each other as we went downstairs.
As I drifted off a text chimed on my cell. I opened the text and smiled at the contents.
This room sucks. I wanna be beside you. Remember what we talked about. Love you xxx
I typed a quick reply and closing my cell as I drifted off to sleep with his scent surrounding me and dreamed of him, his warm arms around me, his lips caressing mine and his fingers stroking the fire in me.
I woke up with a start, early in the morning and rushed downstairs for a coffee. As I passed Coop’s new room the door opened, and he came out, earphones in, and moved towards me with his head down. As he passed me, his face down and shoulders slumped, I breathed in a whiff of his delectable scent and my mouth watered.
His warmth washed over me as his eyes lifted to see me standing almost at his side. He started to move towards me, shook his head, and then walked on into the kitchen. I followed after him feeling confused and as the kitchen door swung shut behind me, I glanced around, but Coop was nowhere to be seen. I made my way over to the pantry and walked inside to get something for breakfast.
The door closed behind me and Coop appeared out of nowhere, his lips pressing on the back of my neck. His fingers slipped up my tank and splayed across my stomach, giving me butterflies. He pulled me against him, pressing his firmness against the crook of my ass. His lips firmly kissed my neck and I mewled against him. His low voice sounded in my ear, “Shh, Bails.”
As he spoke, one of his hands roamed upwards and I leaned into his touch as he cupped my breast with his hand. He ran his hand over my breast and squeezed my nipple as I turned my head, capturing his lips and feeling his desire for me. As he slipped his finger inside my pants, lowering them and pressing one finger between my folds while his other hand continued to tease my nipple, I slipped my tongue inside his mouth, exploring the warm depths.
Voices sounded in the kitchen, and he stepped back from me, breathlessly. He grabbed my hand and pulled me around to an alcove, hidden behind the shelves, shoving me down to a dark space behind the shelves as the pantry door opened and the light came on. We were hidden and trying to breathe quietly as Zane walked into the pantry whistling. He was followed by Clara, and they kissed for a second, before grabbing some supplies for breakfast.
As soon as they left, Coop kissed my neck gently and I knew our moment was over. He stood up, brushed the dust from his legs. His cocky smile reached me in the semi-darkness, and he tilted his head at me, moving to the pantry door. He listened hard for a moment and then rushed out.
I continued sitting in the pantry for a few minutes, trying to calm my racing heart. Once my heart rate was back to normal, and I was sure my face wasn’t flushed, I began to think about moving, but I wasn’t sure I was ready to face my mom and have her continuously watch me. As I sat contemplating how to get out of the pantry, I heard her and Shawn moving about the kitchen.
The pantry door opened, and I shrank back into the shadows as my mom walked into the pantry, speaking over her shoulder to Shawn. He stood by the door, and I was glad he couldn’t see me. I was pretty well hidden in the darkness and by the shelves.
My mom spoke again, her voice low and I strained to listen. “You think that they are together?” she asked in a worried-sounding voice and Shawn’s gruff voice answered.
“I’m almost sure they are, but we need to stop them. It’s not right.”
I knew he was talking about me and Coop and I almost missed his next word as he spoke again, “She’s a young girl and the last thing we need is her to get pregnant and trap my son.” My mom’s back stiffened, and she turned towards Shawn.
“Yes, well, I certainly don’t want to be a grandparent yet and I’m sure you don’t either. Are you sure this is the best way though?”
My ears strained to hear what was being said.
“Yeah, we need to catch them so telling them we’ll be out of town and placing cameras around the house should work. Once we have them, we can order them to stop seeing each other. It’s disgusting.” I clenched my hands closed and dug my nails into my palms to stop me from shouting out at Shawn.
As they turned and left, my eyes watered, as my thoughts centered on our parents. They were really against us. How could we do this? It wasn’t fair. We weren’t actually related, and because they’d selfishly thrown us together, this was where we were. After another short while, I heard the kitchen door close and I left the pantry, grabbing a coffee.
I wandered out to the deck and walked towards the water, sipping my coffee slowly as I considered how to go forward. I was in love with Coop, but I had to ask myself some serious questions about us.
Was he worth it? Yes.
Did I really love him? Yes, I was sure of it.
Could we make it work?
That was the question that had me stumped; we were both so young. He was seventeen, and I was almost seventeen, but the way I felt about him was indescribable and I wished my mom and I had never moved in, so we could see where things would go on their own.
His dad’s disgust and my mom’s compliance with Shawn’s wishes meant that no matter what, our relationship was doomed. I sat on the edge of the deck, hidden from view by the chairs and the table and I stared out as the sun hit the water, shining on it like a mirror and sparkling like a diamond. There was a low breeze, but the day was going to be bright and clear.
As I gazed out, I saw a figure running and my heart sped up at the sight of Coop. He lifted his top and I could see his abs from my seat, as he rubbed his face with his shirt. He glanced around and continued running around the opposite side of the water. The breeze ruffled my hair and I watched him till he was out of sight.
I sat a while longer and enjoyed the early morning sunshine. When I stood and headed back to the house, my mom was sitting in the kitchen and Shawn was standing speaking to Coop. Coop’s face was half-hidden, but I could make out the miserable expression on the little of his face I could see.
As I approached the door, a hand closed over mine and I spun around. Zane moved me over to the chairs on the patio and I went without a fuss.
“Don’t go in there now,” he slurred at me and I stared at him in surprise at the state he was in. He reeked of alcohol and swayed as he leaned towards me, putting his hands on my shoulders. “My dad thinks you were together, have a seat. You may as well sit out here while Coop gets it in the neck.”
Zane slumped down beside me and I watched him. I didn’t say a word, there was nothing to say. I couldn’t go in because, in their eyes, that would confirm that we’d been together. After half an hour Zane leaned back and tapped an irregular rhythm on his leg as we sat there. The silence was almost unbearable and as I sat there for another while, Zane began to shake. It started with only his hands, then his arms. His face was slack, and I watched in horror his body slump towards the table.
I tried to stop him hitting the table, but his chin bounced off the edge as his body tremored. I moved as his body shook more violently and I shouted for help. Coop arrived a second later, followed by my mom. My mom took in my terrified face and motioned for Coop to lift Zane. Together they placed Zane flat on the floor and tilted his head back as his body thrashed violently.
My mom looked at me and said something to me, but my ears were clogged and I
shook my head, as Shawn appeared behind me speaking. Shawn stared down at Zane as his body moved without consciousness. My mom spoke to Shawn and Coop glanced around open-mouthed with fear and in that moment, I didn’t care about my mom, Shawn, or their suspicions.
I moved towards Coop and placed my hand gently on his shoulder. He lifted his hand, squeezed my fingers gently once, and moved my hand, dropping it as soon as it was off his shoulder. Another few minutes passed and we stood there watching Zane intently. Shawn was trying to speak to me, but I couldn’t hear him. My head clouded as I watched Zane. Shawn shook me and sounds came back to me, the siren on the drive and the flash of blue lights in the distance.
“Bailey, what happened?” Shawn asked and I shook my head, opening my mouth to speak to him, but I didn’t know. He’d been out of it when I’d arrived, so I didn’t know why he’d began shaking. Shawn’s hand hit my cheek as I stared past him and the sound of the slap echoed around the area. “Bailey, what happened to my son?” My hand lifted to my burning cheek and I moved backward, almost tripping over Coop as I backed away from his dad.
My mom’s reprimand to Shawn was loud and after a few seconds, the paramedics arrived. Shawn hissed to Coop, “Take her inside.” He didn’t even look in my direction as he spoke and only Coop’s gentle pressure on my arm made me move. We reached the kitchen and my knees gave way. I almost crashed to the floor, but Coop had me and his fingers tensed as he held me up.
Coop half carried, half dragged me to the island, and sat me down just as our parents raced inside. My mom stopped and spoke to us, as Shawn raced away. “Kids, we’re going with Zane to the ER.” She opened her mouth to say something else and then closed it again, turning and following Shawn. My breathing was becoming dangerously close to hyperventilating and Coop was glaring at me as I struggled to control my panic levels.
“Bailey, cut it out,” he hissed as I sat rocking back and forth, trying to focus on the motion to stop the panic as it threatened to overwhelm me. I ignored him and a cold sweat ran down my spine. Coop grabbed my arms and shook me hard. My teeth chattered and I met his gaze, taken aback at the vicious grip he had on my arms and the hatred in his eyes. My mind longed to shut down as images of Zane shaking forced their way into my mind.
I shrugged out of his grip and pushed away from him. His face hardened as I tripped and fell back, catching my ass on the leg of a chair. He stood over me watching me impassively as I hissed in pain, and he didn’t move as I scurried away from him. I rubbed my eyes and sat as far away from him as I could get.
His dad rushed back into the kitchen and spoke harshly.
“Has she stopped freaking out yet?” Coop didn’t answer and both he and Shawn left the kitchen. After a few minutes, I decided to go back to my room and stay there. As I made my way unsteadily upstairs, I realized that I needed time away from Coop, from this house and from our parents.
I rushed into my room and grabbed some jeans from the dresser, before running into my closet and grabbing a few tops. I rushed into the bathroom and closed and locked the door. A flashback to Louis washed over me and my body buckled, hitting the floor hard as I remembered being in the room as Louis seized. Tears clouded my vision as images of Zane replaced Louis and I worried about him. Tears ran unchecked down my cheeks and after a few minutes I stood up, washing my face.
My breathing was still erratic, but I knew what I needed to do. I needed to get as far as I could from this house; I needed to escape. I rushed back out into my room and began blindly stuffing things in my backpack. As I threw my cell and cable into the bag, there was a knock at the door. I didn’t answer as I glanced around wondering what else I would need.
The door creaked open gently and Coop walked in, taking in my backpack and my wild eyes. I didn’t look at him for long, but it was enough to see the pain cross his features.
“Bails,” he whispered and my eyes shot to his. I shook my head as he moved towards me, stepping back until my legs hit the bed. His eyes widened in horror and pain as I moved away from him shaking my head in his direction.
“No,” I whispered, and he nodded, turning and leaving. As the door closed. My heart rate slowed and I shoved my feet into my sneakers. I made my way downstairs and rushed out into the garage. Coop was standing at his car watching as I flew into the garage.
“Bailey, I’ll drive you. You can’t drive…” He sucked in a breath and swallowed as I shook my head at him. “Please, Bails? Let me drive you.” The pain in his voice as he spoke almost destroyed me, but I couldn’t focus on him.
I moved towards my car and he caught my wrist as I passed him by.
“Please, Bailey. Just let me take you. You can call me in a few days or whatever to pick you up.” Fire licked up my arms and I turned meeting his desperate eyes. He stared into my eyes with moisture-filled eyes and I nodded slowly at him.
He let go of my wrist and went to move away from me. I moved towards him, putting my hand on his back, stopping him moving, and he turned a little towards me.
“Bails,” he murmured breathlessly, not quite meeting my eyes. His back was tense and his shoulders stiff as he watched me.
“Cooper,” I muttered, and he turned fully to face me. I let my hand fall and glanced towards the floor. He stepped towards me and pulled me into his arms.
“I’m sorry” he breathed, sounding relieved as he held me, and I stiffened as his words from earlier shot into my mind. He pressed his lips to the top of my head and just held me for a moment, but I didn’t move my arms. I couldn’t forget about how he’d been with me. His dad I expected nothing less from, but he was supposed to love me, so I didn’t hug him back and the sound of his heart speeding reached my ears. A splash of water hit my forehead and ran towards my nose.
I pushed back and took a step away from him.
“Bailey,” his broken voice whispered as I moved towards the passenger seat of his car. As I opened the door, he rubbed at his face and after a second followed me into the car. The drive was silent, only broken as I gave him directions.
I didn’t look at him, I couldn’t, but as we reached the gate of the crematorium I spoke harshly.
“Stay here.”
I climbed out into the warm sun and climbed the hill. I reached Louis’s grave and I sank to the ground by his headstone. I leaned my head on the stone. It was black and in the shape of a heart. The stone was warm to touch and for a few seconds, I sat staring out at the rows and rows of loved ones buried in the crematorium.
I closed my eyes and a warm hand closed over mine.
“Bailey, I didn’t… please… I didn’t mean…” Coop’s soft voice broke as he tried to find the words to fix us, but I was angry at him, at how he’d behaved and how once more he’d been a dick to me.
“Coop, leave me alone, I can’t do this anymore.”
His pain lapped at me as he sucked in a harsh breath. “Bailey, you can’t mean that. Come on, I was freaked out too. D-don’t… please… I l-l-love…” He sucked in a breath and I turned my eyes to his face. It was his desolation that got to me and I moved closer to him. He pulled me into his arms and tightened his arms around me.
“I was so scared,” his voice muttered, “you were completely lost, and I couldn’t reach you; and Zane, god, I’m so worried about him. He’s my brother.” As he spoke his voice shook, but as he said brother another flashback hit me and I remembered being in the room with Louis as he took his final breath. My dad wasn’t there. He couldn’t make it, and my mom was sitting, watching Louis as his breathing slowed.
My hand held onto his and I watched his chest rise and fall, counting the breaths until there was nothing more to count. My mom began sobbing and the nurses came in and ushered me out to my grandparents.
I came back to the present and Coop was looking down at me with fear in his expression.
“Bails, what is it?” He turned and glanced at the headstone we were sitting at. “Louis,” he mouthed as his eyes turned to me in horror. “Your brother’s grave?” he asked
softly, and I nodded.
“Bails,” he muttered, “I’m sorry.”
I wasn’t looking at him. I was looking at Louis’ gravestone as memories of that awful day played behind my eyes.
“A few days before Louis died,” I murmured, staring down at the green grass we were sitting on, “I was in the room alone, while my mom tried to reach my dad when Louis had a seizure. The doctors and nurses all rushed in and I moved to stand by the door as they tried to save him.” I closed my eyes as images of that day rushed back and Coop’s fingers tightened on mine. “They brought him back and told my mom that he wasn’t showing any signs of brain activity. I was only nine.” Coop kissed my head and rocked me back and forth and for a while, we just sat there.
“Bailey,” he spoke softly and I glanced up at him, meeting his gaze, “perhaps you should stay at your grandparents’ for a few days…”
“I couldn’t agree more,” a recognizable voice said from behind me and I turned in Coop’s lap to see my dad standing there. His eyes were narrowed at Cooper and when his eyes flashed to mine, they showed disgust.
“Dad, what are you doing here?” I asked as Coop stiffened. He shifted me from his lap and stood, holding his hand out to my father.
“Hi, sir, I’m…” he began, but my dad cut him off.
“I know who you are.” He turned his gaze to me and glared down at me as I sat stunned on the ground. “Give me a minute alone with my daughter.” Coop glanced down at me and I nodded numbly at him. He turned and walked away leaving me and my dad at Louis’s grave.
“Bailey, what on earth…?” he began as he paced back and forth, with flowers in his hand.
“Dad, why are you here?” I asked again and he turned to glare at me.
“He’s my son,” he said and pointed to the headstone. “I always visit when I’m in town. Lex and the kids are at your grandparents’.” I grimaced at the sound of my stepmother’s name.
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