“Yes. I would like to know now if I should be prepared for a battle of wills once we return to the farm.”
“You’re my bishop—”
“That is irrelevant. I am first and foremost your mate and as such, it is my personal duty to protect you. I need to know if you intend on opposing me as I decide how we will proceed.”
What was he asking? As her mate, soon-to-be husband, he of course would have complete authority to decide for their family. She had no right to oppose him on any decision. “I do not understand.”
“I want to know that I can depend on you once we arrive. I will be speaking on your behalf and I do not wish to misrepresent you.”
“I am sure whatever you decide will be appropriate.”
“That is not what I am asking. I am asking if you will agree with my decisions. I am asking for your point of view.”
Her point of view? “You are the bishop. It is not right for me to advise you.”
“For the love of God,” he mumbled. “Larissa, will you please, for one minute, forget that I am your bishop and think of me as only your mate. If things proceed accordingly I will soon be your husband. I am asking you, as my frau, if I can depend on your support.”
“As my husband, you will be my lord and master. Of course I would stand by what you decided right for our family.”
“Are you not the least bit curious what I propose?”
“I suppose I am curious, but my opinion means nothing in the grand scheme of things.”
“That is what I am trying to explain. Your opinion will never be meaningless to me. I want to know, as your partner, if you will be angry with the way I hope to proceed once we return. I find the idea of having you disappointed in me unpleasant and I would rather avoid such an outcome.”
He wanted her opinion? He didn’t seem to want it out of curiosity either, but because it would influence his decision in some manner. Her instincts told her to trust no man that pretended to view her as his equal, but Bishop King appeared completely sincere in his request. “I suppose I would first have to know how you plan to proceed.”
He smiled slow and proud, his beautiful face transforming into something breathtaking. “That’s my girl. Now you understand. Let us see if you can maintain such boldness and honestly share your thoughts on my proposition.”
“All right,” she agreed.
“There will be a small window of time upon our return where you will be my mate, but also Silus’s wife. While I am the rightful…male, shall we say, some may still protest my refusal to allow your husband time alone with you. Until we are either married or bonded, some may argue that Silus is entitled. I, of course, would not permit this, but it is naive to think Silus would silently allow any man to claim his wife. We must expect his opposition. We must never forget his ancestors dominate almost half of the Elder’s Council.”
“But you are the bishop.”
“Yes, but I also prefer to remain in The Order’s favor. I do not wish to turn our mating into a circus. My position helps as does the fact that both of your grandfathers hold a seat on the bench. Still, there will be protests from the Hostetler relatives on behalf of Silus.”
“What do you suggest?” She did not look forward to having her predicament evaluated by the entire council. She was an extremely private person. Some would see her situation as scandalous. No doubt she had already earned unfavorable labels amongst The Order for shrugging off her responsibilities and running away.
“We have the advantage of returning to the farm and knowing what to expect to some degree. We can anticipate any challenges and prepare for them accordingly. I feel that that is our best course of action, to return home with all of our ducks in order. Do you agree?”
She felt that yes, being prepared for any possible opposition was wise. She did not want to be forced back into her old home even for one minute, knowing the way her husband would likely greet her. “Yes.”
“Well then, I see only one way to outmaneuver Silus’s rights.”
“How?”
“We must bond before we return.”
Chapter 17
Eleazar saw the moment Larissa comprehended his solution. It seemed as if she had stopped breathing entirely. He had surprised her and for that he was sorry.
“You tricked me,” she whispered.
“No, Larissa. I am reasoning with you. This is our wisest choice. It will ensure my rights as your mate and allow me to better protect you.”
She looked at him, her expression one of a betrayed female who was just handed a lesson in life. “All men take.”
“Larissa that is not what I am doing here. I have not betrayed you or asserted unfair authority over you in any way. I am giving you a choice.”
She shook her head. “You have already made up your mind. You just said that you decided it best to return home prepared with all our affairs in order.”
“I also asked for your opinion regarding my solution.”
“And which opinion is that, Bishop? The one where I remain unharmed or the one where I am violated by one male or another. Oh wait, there were only two choices. Shall it be you or my husband?”
He wanted to shake her, but forced himself to remain calm. “No one will ever violate you again, Larissa. You have the choice to say no—”
“And possibly find myself at the mercy of Silus? I think not.”
“Regardless to how we proceed, I will ensure he does not harm you.”
“But there is that small window you mentioned. It seems to me this is a lose-lose situation.”
“This is what I was talking about earlier. You are so quick to play the martyr. I am giving you a choice. If you desire your independence as much as you claim, have the courage to take the responsibility that comes with it. All of you females complain about your lack of authority, yet here I am, offering you the opportunity to weigh in with your opinion and you continue to play the victim. I will not choose for you. I will not shoulder the blame for your unhappiness because you were too much of a coward to make the choice for yourself.”
“You have left me little choice,” she wailed.
“Not every decision is black and white, Larissa. Compromise is difficult. We must sacrifice in order to move forward. It is childish to simply pout about your lack of options. I have given you more than enough options, but I will not decide for you. If you truly wish to be treated as my equal, it is time to start acting like it.”
He saw the way her jaw clenched and her lips pressed together, no doubt stifling a litany of insults she wanted to throw at him.
“Is it so awful, the idea of bonding with me? I would be gentle, Larissa. I would not rush you and I would make sure you enjoyed it.” She still remained silent. Eleazar lowered his voice, regretting his harsh tone a few moments ago. “It will happen eventually, Larissa. There is no avoiding your call. At least this way it is your decision, in your control. You will always hold the right to deny me. I will never, in all my life, take from you that which you do not offer freely, Larissa. I will never give you cause to hold me in the same regard you hold him. If you choose to do this now, I will be better able to protect you once we return. No one can interfere between bonded mates. It will always be stronger than any marriage.”
He waited. He had said his piece and now it was in her hands. He would not force her. He would not take this choice away from her. She was severely lacking confidence and he had promised to be a fair and encouraging mate if ever he were called.
If Larissa continued to be a pawn in a man’s world, then it would be because she chose it to be so. He would not have her or anyone else throwing it in his face that he never gave her the opportunity to be more.
He said not a word as she thought about what he had said. He felt he had explained his logic well enough and she was intelligent enough to make her own choice in the matter.
When she finally spoke her voice was low and uncertain. “All right.”
He looked at her and waited for her to meet his gaze. His pulse quic
kened at her agreement. She looked up and he said, “Your agreement pleases me.”
She licked her lips. “I suppose I should be grateful I can at least offer you that. How much time do we have?”
“I would like to say we have as long as it takes, but we need to be returning home soon.”
She nodded. “If you don’t mind I would like a few minutes before we begin.”
As anxious as he suddenly was, there was still a part of his mind urging his body to be patient. He was not sure if he could trust her acceptance just yet. “Take your time.”
“I will wait for you in my room. I should not need more than a few moments.” She stood and silently walked to her bedroom.
His heart pounded. Was it really that simple? He had always anticipated if he were ever to be called, that the claiming of one’s mate would require extreme finesse and patience. He was surprised that he was accomplishing the task by simply employing rational logic.
He quietly carried their empty mugs to the sink. He busied himself then by washing them. He wanted to give her the time she requested. He wanted her to be sure. If she changed her mind, he wanted her to have plenty of time to tell him.
Once the mugs were back in place, he sat and removed his shoes. Tucking them on the side of the couch, he stood. He did not hear any movement from within the bedroom, so he cautiously headed in that direction.
When he opened the door, the room was dark. His eyes adjusted and he saw Larissa’s form under the sheet. She had tidied the bed and then slipped beneath the covers. Her chest rose and fell with each breath and her eyes remained tightly closed. Only her shoulders were exposed, her arms remained firmly at her sides.
Eleazar shut the door and the quiet snick of the latch interrupted the silence of the room. He quietly undid the buttons of his cuffs and began to undo the buttons down his front. He wanted to say something, but feared his voice would jar her.
Carefully, he removed his shirt and folded it over one arm then placed it neatly on her dresser. He went to undo his pants and paused. Perhaps he should remain partially clothed for the moment. He looked down at the crotch of his pants and saw that he was already quite aroused. He did not want to come off too aggressive their first time, so he opted for modesty and kept his pants on.
He slowly moved to the side of the bed and sat gently on the edge. Larissa seemed to sense his proximity and her breath quickened. She was nervous. He expected as much. He softly caressed her cheek and noticed her body began to tremble. She was not relaxed at all.
He considered calling halt and changing his mind, but knew this was in their best interest. Slowly, he pulled the thin sheet off of her body. Her nipples pulled tight, not from arousal, but from the chill in the air. She still did not open her eyes.
He stood and removed the sheet completely, tossing it over the foot of the bed. Her body seemed stiff as a board. Her legs were firmly pressed together and he noticed her hands were drawn into tight fists. Still, she was beautiful.
He admired her form for a moment, enjoying the slow rise and fall of her breasts, the slight concave slope of her belly, and the soft patch of hair covering her sex. He moved beside her on the small bed and gradually lay down, carefully fitting himself in the empty space. Leaning up on one elbow, he touched a strand of dark hair hanging over her shoulder, brought it to his face, and breathed in her fragrance. Her heart beat rapidly and he was afraid she would hyperventilate if she did not relax.
He touched his thumb over one high-winged brow and followed the arch in a caress. “Shh, relax, my darling.” Eleazar leaned close and placed a chaste kiss on the corner of her mouth.
* * * *
The press of Eleazar’s soft lips touched the corner of her mouth. Her heart was beating wildly within her chest. The room was cold, yet the side of her body that touched his was burning up. He continued to touch her face. She wished he would simply get on with it. Dragging it out only made her more anxious.
He pressed his nose gently into the space above her shoulder and she felt him nuzzle a bit of her hair away from her neck. His breath was a strong and steady tattoo so close to her. Her belly pulled tight when he kissed her ear. No one had ever touched her ears. Chills ran down her spine and a fire began to burn somewhere inside of her as she felt him tug the lobe between his teeth.
She startled when his hand touched her belly. It was as if he knew what she was feeling. He pressed his hand upon her lower abdomen exactly where the fire had started to burn.
“Relax for me, sweet Larissa,” he whispered into her ear.
She whimpered, but tried to do as he asked. He nudged her jaw to the side and she understood. Tilting her cheek away from him and down to her shoulder, she allowed him better access to her throat. Perhaps he wanted to exchange blood and then begin the other parts of the bonding.
His lips gradually kissed down the column of her throat and she felt his fingers comb through the fine hair covering her sex, yet he did not force her legs open. She waited for him to take her blood, but he did not. He simply continued to lick and kiss her neck.
His fingers reached lower and tickled the valley between her thighs. When she was certain he would wedge her legs apart so that he could climb on top of her, he did not. Rather, his fingers traveled back up her belly toward her breasts. He rested his palm just below her breasts. The contact had her reflexively breathing in and holding her stomach tight.
“Breathe, bellissima,” he reminded and her breath left her in a whoosh that had her feeling somewhat dizzy. She was grateful she was lying down.
Her breasts felt full, uncomfortably so. She squeezed her eyes together more tightly and shifted her shoulders, trying to find some sort of relief. Larissa felt as if she were balancing on a thread and needed to adjust her grip someway, but did not know how to let go. She stopped focusing on her aching breasts when his mouth pressed over hers.
His touch was gentle at first, teasing her lips, barely touching her. Her mouth slightly opened and she tasted his warm, rich breath across her tongue. She fought the instinct to lick at his mouth. She must not overstep. His kiss slowly nudged her lips farther apart and her toes curled at the contact of his warm tongue. Once he began exploring her mouth, she reflexively shut her lips. She had never been kissed in such a way. He seemed to be reaching for a part of her being and would not cease his probing until she surrendered whatever he was searching for.
With each stroke of his tongue, the fire in her belly grew hotter. Unable to tolerate any more, unsure how she should receive such attention, a slight whine escaped her, and she turned away from him. The moment Larissa denied him she regretted it. She shook her head and apologized quietly. Turning back to him, she took a deep breath and attempted once again to submit.
He smiled against her lips. “Do you not like my kisses, Larissa?”
She wanted to open her eyes to better read his expression, but was still too frightened of what she might see. The scent of his arousal was quickly filling the room. She made a sound in the back of her throat, but he did not appear to think that a valid answer. He seemed to be waiting for her response before he would continue.
“That is not kissing, what you do,” Larissa admitted.
He chuckled and whispered against her lips, “A kiss is not defined in action, but by the reaction it causes. It is meant to heat the body from within. A kiss between lovers should be savored and tasted. Are you not curious about my taste, Larissa? I find yours intoxicating.”
She was shocked by his words. He was her bishop and speaking in such a manner was not Christian. She was torn. If she kissed him back, would he judge her later, accuse her of having loose morals? He continued to tempt her with his tongue. Her senses grew more and more overwhelmed. She found herself very much wondering about his tastes. Although she had kissed him once before, she had not done it in a thought-out way. She had simply meant to pillage him, the same way he had pillaged her. Now, however, she wanted to taste like he had said.
She grew restless beneath
his toying mouth. He seemed to sense her struggle. His coaxing became more demanding and her mouth trembled as it began to move beneath his. He pulled her lip between his teeth and she felt as though he was pulling off a layer of her soul. How had he learned to kiss in such a manner?
“Kiss me back, Larissa. Take from me what you want.”
Shyly, her tongue pressed against his. His lips then sealed tightly to hers, the pressure causing her head to settle more firmly into the pillows. His tongue probed deeper and he groaned as if he were pleased when she moved her tongue further past his lips. The hand that had been resting over her ribs moved higher and sifted through her hair. The contact seemed to tie an invisible thread from her lips to her belly, with every lick of his tongue, the thread pulled tighter and tighter until she needed to arch into him so she might relieve the tugging sensation.
His grip in her hair was constricting, yet she did not find it uncomfortable. They kissed for a while longer, each movement causing her to feel a bit bolder. Her thighs began to rub together, causing her mind to imagine the crickets that came out on the farm at night. He was turning her into a cricket.
Suddenly she felt the presence of something warm and wet seep between her thighs. She stilled. When more moisture released there, she began to panic that he might notice. She pressed her thighs together and prayed whatever was happening to her down there would stop. Incredibly self-conscious, she tried to shift away from him.
“Larissa.”
She could not bring herself to answer him. He would expect her to explain what was happening and such humiliation would be unbearable.
“Larissa, look at me.”
She shook her head. She could not face him.
He pulled her face toward him and held her to him. His hard chest pressed firmly against her soft bosom. She felt as if she had run a mile, yet she had done nothing but lie beneath him. She was ruining everything. “I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry for?”
“I cannot do this. Please, just finish so that we may be done.”
Calling for a Miracle [The Order of Vampyres 2] (Siren Publishing Classic) Page 19