by Tanya Milne
Every day, I forced myself to think of Jet less, to try and forget my feelings for him. But in unguarded moments like these, Jet would appear from his hiding place and in an instant, I would remember everything. I would crave his solid presence.
‘You okay?’ Ezra asked quietly.
I nodded, no longer trusting my voice.
‘Come on,’ he said, taking my hand and leading me down the side of the church where there were no eyes and ears.
‘I don’t know if I can do this,’ I said when we were finally alone.
Ezra’s eyebrows scrunched together. ‘By this, do you mean getting married to me?’
We had only been a couple again for a short time, but despite everything, every day my feelings for him grew stronger. I sighed and placed my hand on the side of his face. ‘I meant pretending to be someone I’m not – hiding who I really am.’
A spectrum of emotions flashed over Ezra’s face. ‘I’m sorry. I wish it could be different. One day…our lives will be different.’ He removed my hand, leaned forward and kissed the tip of my nose. ‘And then you can turn full witch, okay?’
I smiled and the sun came out from behind the clouds, brightening up what had felt drab only moments before.
‘Try and stop me,’ I said, rubbing my hands together. Before I could think, before I could stop myself, flames released from my hands.
Ezra’s eyes opened wide and I put out my flames immediately. Ezra and I both turned to gaze back towards the congregation. There was Noah, his eyes wide, his mouth agape.
My skin prickled cold and then grew piping hot. Ezra started laughing and said loudly, ‘That’s some magic trick.’
My gaze flickered back to Noah, but he was gone, leaving behind a cloud of doubt that I knew would never, ever go away.
I tried to move, but the ground held me firm.
‘Do you think…he saw?’ asked Ezra finally.
I nodded, my words unspoken for fear of what saying them would mean, for me, for our future, for our lives.
‘I can’t believe how stupid I was,’ I said.
Ezra took my hands in his and whispered, ‘No one will believe him.’
‘They don’t have to believe him – they only have to doubt me.’
Ezra swallowed and gazed back down to the crowd.
‘The only opinion that matters is my dad’s. So long as he believes me, everything will be okay.’
I pictured Noah finding Orpheus, telling him I was a witch. Would he believe Noah or laugh at him, call him a bitter loser?
It was a question that I knew would haunt me, day and night, because if I was being honest, I didn’t know the answer.
Chapter Two
For the first time in as long as I could remember, my lungs filled properly with blessed air and my tension blew away with the wind. The sails were full and firm, and Ezra’s yacht danced steadily forward across the sea, away from Melas.
Ezra, who stood behind me at the steering wheel, pushed my hair back behind my shoulders and kissed my neck, sending chills over my skin. For once, there was only the two of us. Out in the open sea, we saw only the occasional boat bringing supplies into Melas or the coastguard, who took no interest in us. I didn’t have to worry about hiding who I was or about what might happen should Noah tell Orpheus that he saw me produce flames on Angela’s wedding day beside the church.
Ezra kissed the back of my neck again, his hands roaming.
‘If you keep doing that, I’m going to tip the boat over.’
Ezra laughed and pulled me close. ‘What about now?’
I giggled and put his hands on the steering wheel, then turned towards him. ‘I think you’d better steer.’ I placed my hands on his face and brazenly drew his lips down to mine.
He groaned, and it took a large gust of wind ripping across the sails to drag us apart.
‘I love it out here,’ I said, gazing beyond the white sails to the deep blue sky.
‘Me too,’ he said, then kissed me gently. ‘But not as much as I love you.’
The space between us suddenly felt charged with electricity. Every day in the last month since we’d gotten back together, he’d told me he loved me. Every day my feelings towards Jet dimmed, while my feelings towards Ezra grew brighter. But I had yet to take that next step and let him claim my heart.
I searched Ezra’s green eyes. In them I saw the ocean, the sky, the sun – and the man I loved.
‘I love you, too,’ I whispered.
Ezra smiled, his face flushing of joy.
‘I think this calls for autopilot,’ he said, then leaned forward and pressed a few buttons to start rolling the sails in.
‘Do you think that’s wise?’ I asked, a thousand wings fluttering inside me.
‘Keeping us upright and buying us some time together,’ he said, raising an eyebrow. ‘Absolutely.’
‘Oh,’ I said, my stomach curling up along with the sails.
Within minutes, the sails were in, the anchor was sunk, and we were very lost in each other.
When the sky turned dusty pink, we detangled ourselves from each other. Ezra flicked on the engine, raised the anchor and turned the boat back towards the mainland. I settled into a cosy nook beside him and gazed ahead to the town of Melas. Never had I dreaded the sight of it as much as I did in that moment.
‘What are you thinking about?’ said Ezra as he stood behind the steering wheel, looking particularly gorgeous in his navy rugby jumper and cap.
I gazed out across the sapphire sea. ‘I was thinking that I want you to turn this boat around and keep sailing – and never, ever look back.’
‘Ah,’ he said. ‘That would be nice – just the two of us.’
But there was never going to be the two of us. Ezra’s dad had made sure of that. We might have some precious space and privacy while we sailed on the weekends, but Orpheus monitored our every move and he never failed to remind me that my eighteenth birthday was only weeks away. And we all knew what happened when a girl from Melas turned eighteen!
I kept my gaze from Ezra. It seemed he could read my every mood and thought. This was not something I wanted to share or talk about again. We’d talked, ad nauseum, for weeks about what was expected of us – and how he had no intention of breaking his promise to me that we wouldn’t get married until I was ready.
What I didn’t want to talk about was that I was in no way ready to get married and that I had no idea when I would be. My gaze drifted further away and landed on the familiar shores where Jet lived in hiding.
My heart contracted and questions exploded in my mind as I wondered what he was doing, how he was doing, whether he thought of me. Elijah, who now did the regular food drops, gave me reports that Jet was indeed doing well, but he wouldn’t say any more. It had been a month since I’d seen Jet, since I’d told him we couldn’t be together – since I’d told him that my future lay with Ezra, and not with him.
‘Hey, what do you want to do for your birthday?’ said Ezra, bringing me back from the cove where Jet lived.
‘We’re having a family dinner at home.’ I turned back to Ezra. ‘Would you like to come?’
Ezra smiled, a small dimple appearing on his cheek.
‘Love to. I was thinking maybe we could go sailing in the afternoon.’
Space opened up inside me. ‘I couldn’t think of anything I’d like more.’
‘Is that so?’ he said, grinning in a way that made me imagine him as a young boy. ‘Well, I’d better make it a day you won’t forget.’
I swallowed the lump that suddenly appeared in my throat.
Ezra’s gaze flickered to me, his face unreadable. For the first time, I saw the underbelly of the pressure placed on him – trying to satisfy his father and keep his promise not to force me into marriage. But what about him? Was marrying me what he truly wanted?
A strong gust of wind arrived, filling the sails, thrusting the boat forward – and for a short time, we forgot all about what was expected of us, the future that waite
d for us, and let nature take us on a wild ride.
Chapter Three
As Ezra steered his yacht back alongside the dock at the marina I felt the strange sensation of déjà vu. It was two weeks to the day since I’d been on Ezra’s boat where he’d promised to take me sailing for my birthday.
‘I can’t believe it’s my birthday,’ I said.
‘So, how do you feel?’
‘Old,’ I said, realising that I was officially eighteen, a legal adult.
‘Yes, well, now you know how I feel,’ he said, then laughed as he jumped onto the empty dock.
I let out a long sigh. A year ago, I couldn’t wait for this day to arrive – the beginning of my adult life. But for some time I’d been dreading turning eighteen in a way one would dread getting every tooth pulled from their mouth.
Today was the day Orpheus expected me to get engaged to his only son. All afternoon I’d been on tenterhooks, half expecting Ezra to raise the subject or at least tap-dance around it. But so far, he’d said nothing and had kept us busy tacking up and down the shores, finding only moments for kisses. There was certainly no time for important conversations. And with a family birthday dinner starting the moment we arrived home, the chances of talking about getting engaged appeared slim.
Soon we were back in his car, heading home. I pictured my little family waiting for us. Mum and Dad would be tucked up together on one couch with Elijah and Anna on the other. No doubt they would be talking about what they always talked about these days – Anna and Elijah’s wedding due to be held in three weeks tomorrow.
The thought of their impending marriage felt surreal, yet regardless of whether I was ready, their plans were proceeding full steam ahead. While getting married was the last thing I desired, Elijah and Anna wanted to be married more than anything in the world. There was no forcing those two down the aisle. In weeks, Anna would be living with us as my sister-in-law.
We pulled up out front of my house, which was gently lit from the lamps that warded off the approaching night. Ezra turned off the engine, plunging us into silence.
‘Ready?’ he asked, the strain of nerves in his voice plucking at my skin.
I dared not fathom a double meaning to his words.
‘I think I can manage my family,’ I said, smiling.
He kissed my cheek before jumping from the car. In seconds, he’d opened my door, taken my hands and helped me to stand, his palms as sweaty in mine.
‘You okay?’ I asked, my skin prickling.
‘Yes, I’m good,’ he said, then bent down and silenced me with a kiss that left me breathless.
‘You know…’ I said, pulling away, suddenly brazen. Maybe it was me becoming an adult, or maybe it was the early spring air that edged the breeze tonight, but for the first time in a long time, another part of me surged back to life. ‘I’m eighteen now – legal age for…certain activities.’
Ezra’s skin flushed in the dying light.
I ran my finger down the side of his face. ‘Don’t tell me you’ve gone all shy on me.’
For weeks, we’d taken it further and further, but stopped each time – something preventing us from making the final physical commitment to each other.
‘Is that what you want?’ he asked quietly, his eyes blazing.
Until that moment, I hadn’t been sure when I would be ready. Jet was still in the periphery of my life, my feelings for him coming to the surface at the most inappropriate times. But right then, in that moment, under a new moon, in a new season, there was only me and Ezra and needs that had grown beyond both of us.
‘That’s what I want. I want you – tonight,’ I said.
Ezra swallowed and before I knew it, his lips were on mine, telling me how he felt.
‘After dinner, come back to the boat,’ he said, pulling away.
Anticipation that had been simmering away bubbled to the surface.
‘Besides, I have a present for you,’ he said, little creases filling up the corners of his eyes.
‘Do you now?’ I stood back from him and straightened my clothes. ‘Even after I said “no presents.”’
‘Especially after you said “no presents.” Anyhow, you’ll have to wait and see.’ He raised an eyebrow and took my hand.
Together we walked down the path to my house and up the stairs.
‘It’s very quiet,’ I said, putting my key in the door.
‘Maybe they’re hiding,’ said Ezra.
I giggled, pushed the door open and stepped inside – where a roomful of friends and family jumped from hiding places and screamed, ‘SURPRISE!’
I turned, wide-eyed, to Ezra, who kissed my cheek. ‘Happy birthday, sweetheart!’
‘You should have seen the look on your face,’ said Elijah, mimicking what I must have looked like when I walked through the front door not long before.
‘Well, what did you expect?’ I said, sending my brother the hardest stare I could muster, which he copied. We both laughed. ‘And anyhow, I’d like to know how you got out of it?’
‘Good question,’ said Anna, who stood behind me attempting to pull my just-washed-and-dried hair into something respectable before we joined the party that was in full swing downstairs.
‘It was hard enough getting you out of the picture for a few hours,’ said Elijah, his face shining with a happiness I’d never seen before. ‘I mean, thank goodness for that boyfriend of yours, taking you sailing.’
‘Knock, knock,’ said Ezra. He pushed open the door, champagne bottle and glasses in his hands. ‘Did someone mention me?’
‘Yes they did,’ I said.
I turned around to take in Ezra. He’d changed into dark pants and a pale blue button-up shirt. With his sandy-blond hair tousled from sailing and his green eyes sparkling, he looked ridiculously hot. Before I could stop myself, I imagined myself unbuttoning his shirt.
‘Earth to Eva,’ said Anna from behind me. I glanced at her in the mirror in front of me. My lovely friend looked stunning in her strapless black dress.
‘Sorry, what?’
Anna laughed. ‘I said, I think my work here is done.’
‘Huh,’ I said, glancing in the mirror, blinking quickly at the reflection of the woman before me.
Anna kissed the top of my head. ‘Yes, that’s you, my beautiful soon-to-be sister.’
I placed my hand on top of hers. ‘I can’t wait to become your sis.’
‘That makes two of us,’ she said, her gaze finding my brother, who was already ogling his fiancée.
‘This calls for a toast,’ said Ezra. He placed the champagne on my dressing table and poured four glasses.
‘To Eva and Elijah,’ he said, raising his glass. ‘Every day I feel like the luckiest guy in the world to have met you both – and to be your boyfriend, Eva. Happy birthday! And congratulations again, Elijah and Anna – I’m so happy for you both.’
‘Cheers,’ we cried, clinking our glasses together and then sipping our champagne. As Anna and Elijah became embarrassingly lost in each other, Ezra slipped his arm around my waist and pulled me close to him.
‘Happy birthday, darling,’ he said before lowering his lips to mine, sending sparks of electricity through me.
Time lost its ceaseless march forward. It took my brother’s voice to bring me back into the room.
‘We’ll see you downstairs sometime soon, hey,’ he said, before he and Anna made their way outside and downstairs to where the party was pumping.
‘I suppose we’d better make an appearance,’ I said, walking over and checking my make-up, which did nothing to cover my blazing skin.
‘Before we go down…’ said Ezra. He paused to clear his throat.
Something in his tone made me swing back around.
‘What’s wrong?’ I asked, my mind skipping through the numerous possibilities.
Ezra stepped towards me, took my hands.
‘Eva, there’s something I need to ask you.’
Oh no!
‘Ezra…’
> ‘Please, hear me out,’ he said, so sincerely that I became quiet, watchful, terrified. ‘We both know there are certain expectations of what might happen today.’ Small beads of sweat appeared on Ezra’s forehead, but he didn’t wipe them away. ‘But you need to know that those expectations play no part in what I’m about to ask you.’
My sure, steady breath deserted me, leaving me gulping air that was faint and insubstantial.
‘The thing is, Eva, I love you – and not in a first-crush kind of way, but in a forever kind of way. From the moment I met you, I started falling for you. And now…I am so deeply in love with you that even though we’re living in a crazy world where nothing else makes any sense, you make sense, you and I – we make sense. Our love…it’s the only thing that matters to me now. I want to be with you, today, tonight, forever.’
Ezra watched me, his heart, his tender heart now ripe and ready for me to take it, hold it close…forever.
He cleared his throat and continued. ‘I know that my question might seem too soon. You might think we’re too young. You might think I’m asking so no one else can have you. But you would be wrong – on every count. Even if we lived in a world where we had free choice, I would ask you.’
I gasped. Not once had I imagined that I might meet my partner for life and settle down when I was eighteen. It was impossible, wasn’t it?
‘So when I ask you, Eva, beautiful Eva, all I want is for you to answer me, not from a place of fear or from a place of what you think you should or shouldn’t do. All I ask is that you answer me from your heart. Can you promise me that?’
I tried to swallow, to speak, but my mouth felt as though it were full of sandpaper.
‘Eva?’ he asked again, bringing my hand to his lips.
I nodded, and his eyes widened as he fished around in his jacket pocket. As though in slow motion, he pulled a small box from his jacket, dropped down to one knee and gazed up at me. He opened the box, revealing a sizeable emerald engagement ring the same colour as his eyes.