Pineapple Hurricane

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by Amy Vansant




  Pineapple

  HURRICANE

  A Pineapple Port Mystery: Book Eleven

  Amy Vansant

  ©2020 by Amy Vansant. All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form, by any means, without the permission of the author. All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

  Vansant Creations, LLC / Amy Vansant

  Annapolis, MD

  http://www.AmyVansant.com

  http://www.PineapplePort.com

  Copyediting by Carolyn Steele.

  Proofreading by Effrosyni Moschoudi & Connie Leap

  Cover by Steven Novak

  CONTENTS

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Other Books by Amy Vansant

  Chapter One

  Sheriff Frank Marshal guided his cruiser to the curb of a gray modular home located a few blocks south of his own in the Pineapple Port fifty-five-plus community. He hated getting calls about his own neighborhood. Even a simple robbery like a missing lawn ornament put him on edge for weeks. He’d start peering through his windows at intermittent intervals each night, scanning the darkness for the juvenile delinquents responsible.

  The missing lawn ornaments were almost always taken by juvenile delinquents. They liked to pose and dress them up for social media posts. His own fishing frog had been forced to wear a wig and perform lewd yoga poses in locations all over the county before the thief’s mother finally turned in the little brat.

  Lawn ornament molestation was bad enough. This time, instead of someone losing a stone alligator or a gazing ball, someone had found a person, possibly dead. In Pineapple Port. He held his breath, waiting to hear the address crackle over the radio. When it did, shoulders he didn’t realize he’d bunched, released.

  He didn’t recognize the address.

  No one I know.

  Frank flipped off his siren. A Hispanic woman stood on the sidewalk outside the home, pointing towards the house with increasing urgency as he folded himself out of the car.

  “Did you call an ambulance?” he asked, hustling as fast as his aging legs would move him.

  The woman shook her head, her eyes wide with what looked like both fear and confusion. “No. Es muerto.”

  “Marto who?”

  “Muerto.”

  “Okay. It doesn’t matter what his name is. Where is he?”

  “Alrededor del costado de la casa.”

  Frank perked.

  Casa. I know that one.

  “Ah, in the house, got it,” he said, pleased with himself for frequenting Taco Casa enough to pick up a smattering of the language.

  Frank entered the home through the wide open front door.

  Whoever Marto is, he’s going to be furious when he finds out someone let out all his air-conditioning.

  “Where?” he asked the woman who’d followed him inside. She seemed frustrated, waving her hands in the air, when she said, “No aquí.”

  “I don’t need a key, the door is wide open.”

  “No, over there,” she pointed while hooking her arm out and around, as if she were trying to hug a bear. Frank realized she meant around the outside of the house.

  “Outside?”

  “Si.”

  “Got it.”

  He trotted back down the front steps and around the side of the house to find a man lying on the ground at the foot of a tall ladder. The dead man lay on his stomach, his head turned away from Frank’s view, but otherwise straight and proper, every snow-white hair in place. If he’d been bare-chested and not stretched across his muddy, ant-ridden lawn, he could have been tanning, getting a little color on his back.

  Frank only needed to touch the body to know help had arrived too late. Even in the morning sun, the old man’s flesh felt cold. He wore what looked like work shorts, cargo-style, stained with multi-colored paint blotches, as if this pair had been his go-to outfit for home projects. Walking around the opposite side of the body, Frank saw the man’s lips were blue, his cheeks the color of a fish’s belly.

  Frank’s gaze climbed up the ladder propped against the side of the house and back down to the body.

  Cause of death seemed pretty obvious.

  “Hello?”

  Frank heard a familiar voice calling from the front of the house.

  “Around the side,” he shouted.

  Charlotte Morgan appeared, long brown ponytail swinging, their resident neighborhood orphan-turned-detective. As usual, she seemed unable to hide the spring in her step.

  The girl loves crimes. And a body… Boy, this is her lucky day.

  He’d let Charlotte shadow him during her private eye training and allowed her to help investigate the scene of a suspicious death. He’d never seen anyone so happy to poke around a dead guy. That case had been a little strange, and he’d assumed that was why she seemed so excited, but seeing her now, fighting to look somber—he had to wonder if any old body made her day.

  He also had to wonder if she’d bugged his cruiser. Every time he had a case more interesting than graffiti, Charlotte managed to show up moments after he did.

  “Hey, I heard the sirens—oh. Hm.” Charlotte’s gaze dropped to the dead man. Her lips curled into a tiny smile and then dropped as if someone had turned on the gravity.

  Frank chuckled to himself.

  Nice try. I saw that.

  He motioned to the ladder. “I hate to be the one to break it to you, but this one’s an accident.”

  Charlotte scowled. “Very funny. It’s bad enough a man died here, Frank. I’m not hoping it’s a murder.”

  “Uh huh.”

  Charlotte seemed to notice the Hispanic woman for the first time and flashed her an empathic smile.

  “Are you his wife?”

  The woman looked offended. “No. House cleaning.”

  “She found the body,” explained Frank, before turning his attention to the housekeeper. “What’s your name, ma’am?”

  “Corentine Flores.”

  “Do you know him?”

  She shook her head. “No. First time here.”

  “He left quite a first impression,” mumbled Charlotte trying to peer around Frank to get a better look at the body. He stepped in front of her and grunted with disapproval.

  Frank continued his interview. “You found him like this?”

  “Muerto,” she said, nodding.

  Frank mumbled to Charlotte. “I think his name is Marty and she calls him Marto, near as I can
figure.”

  “Muerto means dead,” said Charlotte, ever helpful. She motioned at a square, canvas casing on the ground. “Looks like he was trying to cover his skylights for the hurricane.”

  Frank heaved a sigh. “Why these old people crawl up on their roofs like they’re still twenty, I’ll never know.”

  Charlotte used Frank’s attention on the ladder to move around him and squat beside the body. “I guess he thought he could do it. I mean, when do you know you’re too old to do something?”

  “When you fall and kill yourself,” muttered Frank.

  He turned back to the woman. “When did you find him? You called right away?”

  She nodded.

  “Do you have any idea when he fell?”

  The woman shook her head and her expression dropped, as if she felt guilty for being unable to help more than she could.

  Poor thing. She’s probably had quite a shock.

  “It hasn’t been too long. There’s no lividity,” said Charlotte. She wrapped her hand in her shirt and shifted the man’s arm. “He’s in rigor, so three, four hours?”

  “Can you not touch him please?” said Frank.

  “But I covered my hand, and you said yourself, it isn’t a crime scene.”

  “It’s still creepy. Just cut it out.”

  Another police car arrived and lanky Deputy Daniel soon strolled over to the group.

  Late and useless as usual.

  “Thought you might need some help,” he said. He was talking to Frank but his eyes were on Charlotte. Frank stepped into his frame of view.

  “You. Listen up. Call the coroner for me.”

  Daniel snapped out of his Charlotte-induced trance. “Huh? Oh. Yeah, sure...” He tipped his hat at Charlotte as she looked up and acknowledged his presence. Daniel beamed.

  Charlotte held up a hand. “Hold the phone. Stop the presses.”

  Frank put his hands on his hips. “I can’t let you play crime scene with this guy all day long. We need to call the coroner.”

  “It’s not that. I think it might not be an accident.”

  “What? Wishful thinking doesn’t make it so, sweetheart. He fell off the damn roof. He did everything but leave a note that said I’m going to fall off the roof now.”

  “But I think he did leave a note.”

  “That he wrote on the way down?”

  “Oh, I don’t know,” said Charlotte, looking smug. “I don’t know if he had time to do that and eat it.”

  Frank closed his eyes and prayed for strength. “Will you make some sense?”

  “Come here. Look.”

  Frank moved around to Charlotte’s side of the body and squinted toward where she pointed near the man’s mouth. He could see now something beige rested between his lips.

  “That his dentures? Popped out of his mouth maybe?”

  “Put your glasses on. It looks like cloth.”

  Frank felt inside his shirt pocket for his eyeglasses and slipped them on his face to peer again at the object pressed between the man’s lips.

  “What is it?” asked Daniel.

  “Make yourself useful and get me a pair of gloves out of your car,” said Frank.

  Dan jogged to his trunk and returned with two pairs of latex gloves.

  “I’ve got the gloves,” he announced, as if he’d just found the cure for the common cold.

  Frank shook his head and took a pair.

  I guess when you’re that useless fetching gloves is a win.

  “Thank you,” said Charlotte, reaching up for the second pair.

  Daniel’s chest puffed another inch.

  Frank slipped on the gloves and peeled open the man’s blue lips. Pinching the edge of the flat object he slid out a round, cloth disk with a stitched edge. At the top of its design, sat a yellow plus-sign, a blue house occupied the lower left corner, and the lower right sported what looked like green lightning.

  “What is this?” he asked aloud.

  “More importantly, how did it get in his mouth? Hold it still, let me get a picture.” Charlotte pulled her ever-present phone from her pocket and snapped a photo.

  Frank addressed Corentine. “Ma’am, I’m afraid we’re going to have to ask you to stick around. Do you understand?”

  The woman wrapped her hand around the waterspout and rested her shoulder on the wall, resigned to waiting.

  Frank returned to musing on the mysterious patch. “Maybe his hands were full and he needed a way to hold this while he was on the ladder.”

  “But why would he need a patch on a roof?” asked Charlotte poking at her phone.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I’m doing an online image search. Here it is.” She held the phone up for Frank to see. “It’s an emergency preparedness Boy Scout badge.”

  “Huh,” said Frank. The badge on Charlotte’s phone did look exactly like the one in his own hand, but for the traces of watery blood on his version.

  “How did they solve any crimes before the Internet?” she asked no one in particular.

  “No Internet and we were all so busy hunting dinosaurs,” said Frank, rising. He gazed up the ladder. “You think he was going to award himself a patch for putting on the hurricane covers?”

  “You’re suggesting he’s the world’s oldest boy scout?”

  “I dunno. People are weird. Nothing surprises me anymore.”

  “I think it’s more likely someone left a message.”

  “Oh you and the murderers.”

  She shrugged and Frank looked at Dan. “Skip the ambulance. Call in the FDLE.”

  Dan nodded and jogged back to his cruiser.

  “Florida Department of Legal Eagles?” asked Charlotte.

  Frank chuckled. “So, you don’t know everything after all. It’s Florida Department of Law Enforcement. They’ll need to take a look. Sheriff’s department doesn’t have the resources for a full-blown investigation.”

  “But you have me.”

  “Right. My mistake, cancel that order.” He threw out an arm and pulled Charlotte to him for a quick side-hug and she giggled.

  She’s so adorable.

  Frank stretched his back with another, deeper groan and by the time he’d looked back down, Charlotte had the corpse’s head in her gloved hands, lifting it to peek underneath it.

  “Hey, put that down. I’ve officially declared this a suspicious death.”

  “Sorry.” Charlotte set the dead man’s head back down and stood. “It’s definitely suspicious.”

  “Man’s got a Boy Scout patch in his mouth. Of course it’s suspicious.”

  “And that other thing…”

  Frank sighed. “Fine. You already cost me a ton of paperwork finding that patch. What other thing is going to complicate my life?”

  Charlotte’s eyes lit with excitement. “I thought you’d never ask.”

  Frank tried not to laugh. If he ever revealed how much her quests for the truth amused and impressed him, she might end up twice as tenacious.

  Charlotte pointed at the man’s head. “It looks like he has a massive cut on his skull.”

  “That’s your big reveal? He fell off a roof.”

  “But look.” Charlotte jumped up and down as if she were on a trampoline, stopping to look exasperated by his befuddled silence.

  “Look at how springy the grass is,” she said.

  Frank found himself distracted by a different oddity.

  All that jumping and she doesn’t sound winded.

  Frank couldn’t remember the last time he did something that active without collapsing into a chair afterwards.

  “So?” he asked.

  “So, it’s too soft for him to have the deep smashy mess he has there.”

  “Smashy? Is that an official detective word?”

  “It is now. It looks like there’s bits of masonry in there. Red like brick...”

  She drifted off, and Frank felt certain she was accessing some sort of gravel database in her brain, trying to find a match
.

  “I’m sure there are bits of rock down there under the grass,” he said, pointing at the ground.

  “Yes, but it isn’t that kind. It’s more like—” She looked around before wandering toward the back of the house.

  When she didn’t immediately return, Frank sniffed.

  Okay. Nice talk.

  Hearing footsteps behind him, he turned to find Daniel returning.

  “Where’d Charlotte go?” he asked.

  “Who knows.” Frank turned to the housekeeper, who was still standing at the corner of the house, wide-eyed and watching.

  “You know a little Spanish, don’t you, Dan?”

  Daniel grinned as if he had a secret no one else knew. “Un poco.”

  “Okay. Could you un poco her statement from her?”

  “Sure.” Daniel pulled his notepad out of his belt as if every page said Deputy Dan is Super Cool! and swaggered over to the woman.

  That’ll keep them busy until FDLE gets here. Now I just have to get Charlotte out of here before—

  “Brick!” called a voice from the back yard.

  Frank took a cleansing breath and strolled around the house to find Charlotte pointing triumphantly at a brick lying in a muddy corner of the yard.

  He licked his lips and stared down at the brick. “Dare I ask?”

  “Blood.” She leaned down to point at a brown stain marring the edge of the brick.

  Frank pulled his glasses from his head and lowered himself to a squat to inspect the stain.

  “Could be dirt,” he said.

  “Could be blood.”

  It does look like blood. Still…

  “So you think he fell on the brick and then made it as far as the ladder before he collapsed?”

  Frank knew the chances of his fanciful scenario being what Charlotte suspected were about as likely as him standing back up without his knees cracking like Chinese New Year.

  “No. I think someone hit him with the brick and tried to make it look like he fell off the roof.”

  He sighed. “Anyone ever tell you you’re a pain in the neck?”

  She smiled and Frank held up a hand.

  “My knees locked up.”

  Charlotte helped him to stand straight, and they headed toward the front of the house.

  “Why couldn’t you take up mahjong like the other ladies? Why do you always have to make my life so difficult?”

 

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