Eternity Now

by Francis Lucille

  Is this disappearance of the ego gradual or sudden?

  You already know who you are. Even someone in whom interest in the deepest reality has not yet awakened knows moments of joy. During these moments, the ego is not present. They emanate from our true being, which is joy itself. Everyone recognizes joy directly. That by which the Self knows the Self is the Self itself. Only being has access to being. Only joy has access to joy, eternity to eternity. What exiles us from the Garden of Eden and plunges us into a frantic search is the erroneous idea that this true being, this joy, and this eternity are not present. The reabsorption of the ego into beingness, which appears, from the temporal point of view, like a letting go followed by a sudden illumination, puts an end to this search and this frenzy.

  What brings about this reabsorption?

  There is no answer to this question on the level on which it is asked, since the effect is already in the cause and the cause is still in the effect. Like the beggar in the fairy tale and the magician from whom he learns that he is the king’s son, certain apparently fortuitous meetings can acquaint us with our true identity. At the announcement of this good news, this gospel, in the proper sense of the word, a profound instinct rumbles at the depth of our being and puts us on the trail which leads to the ultimate. This inner movement corresponds to a veiled recognition of our true being, and the promise of joyous serenity that accompanies it channels desire into an unknown direction. This recognition does not refer to an objective and temporal reality. It is not located at the level of memory or of time. Thus, this grace can’t be forgotten. It solicits us more and more often, and each new recognition increases our desire for the divine. Like the wanderer lost on a cold winter’s night who, detecting from the red glow through the window of an inn the presence of a fire within, pushes open the door and warms himself for a few moments by the hearth, we enter the sanctuary and rest for a moment in the warmth of the sacred light before setting off again into the night. Finally, when our desire for the absolute overcomes our fear of death, we offer the pretense of our personal existence to the sacrificial fire of infinite consciousness. Henceforth, nothing stands in the way of awakening any longer and it progressively unfolds its splendor on all the planes of phenomenal existence, which, little by little, reveal their underlying non-temporal reality, like the gaze of Shams of Tabriz that, “was never cast upon some fleeting object without rendering it eternal.”

  ***

  How can I overcome my fear of seeing the truth, which is an obstacle to knowing my true nature?

  In the first place, be happy that you are aware of this visceral fear, since most people repress and avoid it. As soon as it begins to show its face in a moment of solitude or inactivity, they turn on the television, go see a friend, or throw themselves into some kind of activity. Discovering your fear is, therefore, a crucial first step.

  I don’t know if I discovered it. Perhaps I simply sense its presence.

  Live with it, be interested in it, don’t repress it. Adopt a benevolent attitude toward it, an attitude of letting it come, letting it go. Take it for what it is, an amalgam of thoughts and body sensations. Ask yourself, “Who is afraid?” and you will see the fear-thought depart, leaving only some residues of localized anxiety, the fear-sensation at the somatic level. Basically, all of that is just a show of which you are the spectator. Contemplate that, and contemplate your own reactions, your flight, and your denial. The recognition of your denial is the beginning of acceptance, come what may. In this way, you take the stance of the contemplator, which is your natural stance anyway. So, everything unfolds spontaneously. Fear is your ego; the monster you cart along in your thoughts and body sensations; the usurper that keeps you apart from the joyous realm that belongs to you. See it in its totality. Don’t be afraid of it, even if its features are terrifying. Draw the strength to look at it from your thirst for the absolute, for freedom. When you begin to feel it, think, “Come here, fear. Show yourself to me. Make yourself at home. I am out of your reach.” The effectiveness of this method derives from the fact that fear is something perceived, therefore limited. The longest snake in the world ends somewhere. Once it is entirely out of the tall grass, seen in its entirety, you are out of danger because it can no longer attack you by surprise. Likewise, when you see before you the entirety of your fear, when there is no part of it that is hidden from you, there is no part of you that can identify with it. It is an object that has become unglued from you. The umbilical cord of ignorance by which the ego is nourished is no longer operational. This phantom “I,” no longer being fed, can’t continue to maintain itself. It dies in the explosion of your eternal freedom.

  ***

  Once we have recognized our deepest reality, a memory of that recognition remains with us permanently. We begin to be aware when the ego intervenes and we can train it to keep itself at a distance to allow us to be more and more open to what we are. Could you comment about this?

  It is useless to try to train or eliminate it. When you train or eliminate it, who is the agent of this activity?

  The ego eliminates itself.

  How could that be possible? This attempt, on the contrary, perpetuates it. The ego is an obstacle only insofar as we pay attention to it. Rather than address this search from the negative side, the ego and its elimination, start from the positive side. The recognition of which you were speaking leaves a memory of fullness in you. This memory refers to a non-mental experience. It does not come from the memory that can only record objective elements. If you allow yourself to be guided by it, if you respond by allowing your whole being to be absorbed by its call, the sacred emotion that it arouses in you will lead you directly to the threshold of your timeless presence. Live with this remembrance. Forget the objective circumstances that preceded or followed this recognition and stay with the remembering itself. Love it as your most precious possession and remember that the source from which it emanates is always present, here and now. It is the only place to find it, here and now: not in thought, before thought, before thinking of it. Don’t even think of it . . .

  Simply let what is be . . .

  Don’t speak of it. Don’t formulate it. Don’t evaluate it; the intervention of thought distances you from it. Don’t even try. You are still making too much effort. It is useless. Surrender and be what you already are, absolute stillness.

  ***

  I want to be here today, and I have chosen to be here, but what can I learn in the presence of a master that I can’t learn by myself?

  Everything you learn, you learn by yourself. I can’t learn for you. Every circumstance, every event in you life teaches you. What you can learn by asking this question is that there is no master in the personal sense to which you are referring. On that level, I am not your master. I am simply happy to be your friend. The true master isn’t a person. It is our Self, the Self of all beings. Surrender to it, love only it, be interested in nothing but it. I feel its presence vibrating in those who come to me with the pure intention of knowing it, and they recognize this presence in me. One could say that this presence recognizes itself in the apparent other by a kind of sympathetic resonance. The divine in me recognizes the divine in you in the same instant and by the same movement through which the divine in you recognizes the divine in me. Under these conditions, who is the master and who is the disciple? Who is you and who is me?

  I am not sure if this is a question. I was sitting here methodically trying to be calm. As soon as you came in, everything suddenly became very still. I felt like a dying person desperately trying to catch my last breath. My first thought was a marvelous feeling of astonishment. Then, I had the impression that each subsequent thought was an effort to escape the silence that was spontaneously invading me . . .

  When you are invited like that, you should surrender completely. Don’t try to know where you are in all of this. Don’t try to control the situation. It can’t be done. Even the first thought that takes note of this experience is already too much. It prevent
s a complete letting go. It is not enough to receive the royal invitation; you still have to go to the palace and taste the banquet that is your destiny. The truth-seeker in you is continuously involved in controlling your thoughts, feelings, and actions. At a certain point, even he will disappear, since he is only a concept, a thought. He isn’t you. You are that freedom, that immensity in which the seeker appears and disappears. You are what you are looking for, or, more precisely, that immensity looks for itself in you. Abandon yourself to it without reservation.

  To what extent are we free to determine our lives?

  As individuals or as what we truly are?

  As individuals.

  In that case, we are entirely conditioned. Therefore, there is no free will. It appears as though we exercise free choice, but we are only reacting like automatons, running through the same patterns of our bio-sociological heritage without respite, and invariably having the same old reactions, like a vending machine dispensing soft drinks in a train station. As individuals, our freedom is illusory. On the other hand, at the level of our deepest being, everything flows out of our freedom. Every thought and perception appears because we want it. We can’t understand this at the level of thought, but we can experience it. When we are totally open to the unknown, the personal entity is absent. We then realize that the tangible and intelligible universe arises out of this openness in the eternal present. We want, create, and are at every moment, everything in the unity of awareness.

  You speak of being totally open to our thoughts and perceptions. How can we receive everything that presents itself to us in the midst of the frantic rhythm of modern life? Is it possible?

  Actually, you haven’t the choice, because whatever you think, perceive, or do, you are open to it moment by moment. For example, when a thought arises, this thought is spontaneous, isn’t it?

  I don’t see what you are getting at.

  You didn’t take any action in order to make the thought appear. Even if you made such an effort, this action itself would be another spontaneous thought. In fact, all things appear by themselves in consciousness, which is always in total openness. Consciousness never says, “I want this” or “I don’t want that.” It doesn’t say anything because it continuously receives everything that arises in its field. When you say, “I want this” or “I don’t want that” it is not consciousness that is talking, it is simply a thought arising from within itself. Then you say, “I wasn’t open” and that is an upwelling of a new thought. The background of all this mental agitation is consciousness, always open, always welcoming. From the moment you are alive, you are open. Openness is your nature. This is why it is so pleasant to find it; one feels at home, at ease, natural. You don’t have to do anything to find yourself in openness, aside from understanding that it is your true nature, that you already are there. As soon as you establish yourself in witnessing consciousness, mundane agitation no longer has a hold on you. You understand the process by which it takes over, and through that understanding, you escape it. You leap into another dimension. Familiarize yourself with it. See the impact of it on your mind and on your body. My words may seem to you mere ideas at the moment, but the day will come when they dissolve in you, and become a living understanding. The question of how to meditate, be open, or be happy will no longer come up because you will realize that you already are meditation, openness, and happiness.

  But we aren’t aware of it!

  Inquire, find out for yourself. See if it is true that you are continuously aware. See if it is true that what you know yourself to be, fundamentally, is awareness. Don’t take my assertions as established facts. Question them, and question your own beliefs as well. Also question the notion of a limited, personal consciousness. Live with these questions, and above all, live in the silent openness that follows each question, in the creative “I don’t know.” Into this openness come answers that modify and refine the initial questions little by little, making them more and more subtle, until they are cannot be formulated any longer. Let this residual dynamism exhaust itself in your welcoming attention, until the ultimate answer suddenly springs forth in you in all its splendor.

  ***

  Last night you used the adjective “uncolored” to qualify awareness. Where does love and compassion appear in this picture?

  The words we use to describe the indescribable have to be absorbed on the spot. If we use them out of context, they lose their flavor and we end up in apparent contradictions. A story regarding this comes to mind. A Ch’an master contradicted himself (seemingly) a good twelve times in the space of an hour. Exasperated, a disciple laid bare the succession of contradictions before the amused and benevolent gaze of the master, whose entire response, simply said, without trying to justify himself in any way, was, “Really, how strange and marvelous! I’ll never understand why the truth is always contradicting itself!”

  I agree. Awareness is inexpressible. Is compassion equally beyond words?

  My remark concerned the first part of your question. First we have to find in ourselves the uncolored center that is perfect freedom and absolute autonomy. When, from that center, from that knowing, we cast our gaze toward the beings that surround us, not only do we see their bodies and perceive their minds, but we fly beyond psychosomatic boundaries directly to that uncolored, limitless place that is our common essence; there, where there is no other. From this uncolored center, action can unfold or not, depending upon circumstances. Action that follows from the understanding that we are, fundamentally, one being is full of compassion, beauty, and intelligence. It can manifest other qualities, but it can, when circumstances require, also don the color of compassion. Always in harmony with the current situation, it leaves no traces and frees those it touches. True compassion defies the preconceived ideas we have of it. It can seem strange, inappropriate, even brutal, but it is free, and that is its beauty. It is a tornado of freedom that blows where it will, erasing in its passage ephemeral attachments and false ideas, until only the indestructible remains: the true, the eternal.

  ***

  What can you tell us about intelligence?

  Ordinary intelligence is a cerebral function. It appears as the faculty of adaptation and organization. It allows complex problems to be handled by bringing into play a large quantity of givens. Linked to heredity and to acquired conditioning of the brain, it operates sequentially, in time. This kind of intelligence is responsible for performing math calculations, formulating logical arguments, or playing tennis. Operating like a super-computer, it excels in accomplishing repetitive tasks and may one day be surpassed by machines. Its source is memory, the known. Intuitive intelligence appears as understanding and clarity. It is responsible for seeing simplicity in apparent complexity. It strikes directly, in the moment. Always creative, free of the known, it is at the heart of all scientific discoveries and great works of art. Its source is the supreme intelligence of timeless awareness.

  When intuitive intelligence turns upon itself, trying to grasp its source, it loses itself in the instantaneous apperception of supreme intelligence. The recognition of that higher intelligence is an implosion that destroys the illusion that we are a personal entity.

  Does this recognition occur independently of someone’s level of general intelligence?

  Yes. The presence of an intense desire for awakening is a sure sign that this recognition has taken place.

  Is the destruction of the ego induced by a gradual or a sudden awakening?

  The first moment of recognition already contains in it the germ of its fulfillment, in the same way that the seed already contains the flower, the tree, and the fruit. For a little while, the ego, stricken by the still partial vision of this intelligence, retains a semblance of life. At this stage, habit still maintains its old identifications, but an irreparable breach has slipped into the belief in our separate existence. One’s heart is no longer in it, one could say, in all senses of the word. Intermittent recurrences of this recognition widen this gap even further
until the moment when the ego, which is a perceived object, becomes completely objective, prior to dissolving before our very eyes, making way for the invasion of the ineffable. Following this awakening, we find ourselves free of fear and desire. Free of fear because, having reintegrated our immortal self, the specter of death leaves us forever. Free of desire because, knowing the absolute fullness of being, the old attraction objects held for us ceases spontaneously. Old physical and mental habits that derived from the former belief in a personal existence can manifest for yet a while, but all identification with objects perceived or thought is impossible henceforth.

  When contemplated in the amazing neutrality of awareness, these habits die, one by one, without their occasional recurrence triggering a return of the illusion of the ego.

  What are the signs by which we can recognize higher intelligence?

  Thoughts, feelings, and actions that flow from higher intelligence refer to their source, the self. As they fade out back into their source, they leave us on the shore of the absolute, like the foam that a wave deposits on the sand. The thought that thinks truth proceeds from truth, and brings us back to truth. This thought has many different facets. It poses apparently diverse questions like: What is happiness? What is God? Who am I? All these questions originate from a common source: from eternal joy, from the divine, from our self. When these questions, permeated by the fragrance of truth, invite you, make room for them, make time for them, surrender to them, let yourself be carried by them. These thoughts are like the footprint of God in your soul. Let it proceed where it will. The one in whom these thoughts have awakened is very fortunate. No obstacle can prevent him access to the truth. Once the desire for the ultimate has grasped you, the entire universe cooperates in the fulfillment of this desire.