At first, we try to look at our real nature as if it were an object. Then we understand that this attempt is doomed to failure. Next, we look at it as an absence of object, and at some point we understand that this search, too, is doomed to failure. Finally, we find ourself in a state of not knowing, a state in which the mind has exhausted all of its possibilities and has no further place to go. We reach the understanding that the mind cannot grasp this luminous awareness which enlightens it, and we become still. We have to make acquaintance with this not knowing, to get used to this new dimension, to discover that it is not nothingness. This silent presence is not a mere absence of thoughts. It is alive. It is life itself.
When I am in my garden I sometimes seem to experience what you were saying. Can this experience ever be conveyed through words?
It isn’t a concept, so it can’t be communicated as a concept, merely through words. I could communicate the concept of a differential equation through words, but we have to understand that our true nature is not a concept. Words can be used in two different ways. One way they can be used is to appeal to the logical, rational side of the mind. But, used in this way, all they can really do is to lead the mind to the understanding that our true nature is not a concept, and that the mind can’t reach it by its own effort. When we understand fully that this dynamic process is doomed to failure, that it can’t bring the happiness we are seeking, the mind becomes quiet. In the beginning, there may be some residual momentum in the thinking process, just as a motor keeps running for a while after its cord has been unplugged, but we are no longer a player in this game. This insight releases the energies that were used in trying to achieve happiness and allows them to flow back to their source. There is another way in which words can be used. My answer to you isn’t coming from memory, but from the now. It has within it certain ingredients which are the signature of its origin. If you listen to these words with a child-like innocence, they may resonate in you, and you may find yourself to be a welcoming presence. For that to happen, you have to be totally open. You have to set aside everything you have learned and everything you know, because the truth is always new and always appears unexpectedly. You have to be open multi-dimensionally, not just at the level of the intellect but also at the level of feelings and sensations. If you cannot, if thoughts or bodily sensations interfere with this openness, all you can do is take note of this interference. If you notice that you aren’t listening, you already are listening. If you notice that you aren’t welcoming, you already are welcoming. If you receive my words with the proper attitude, they will find the way to your heart.
How do you distinguish what you are talking about from meditation? Or are you talking about meditation?
I don’t know what you mean by meditation. Tell me, because it is a word that has so many meanings.
Sitting in silence with your mantra or your breath, so that your mind is quieted and you are open to whatever is coming in.
In some forms of meditation the mind is focused on an object. It can be a mantra, the breath, the flame of a candle, an idol, a sacred scripture, or an image of a deity with all its divine qualities. The intent in this case is to eliminate what is not the object of the meditation in order to find a rest in the object. At some point, there is an immersion in the object of meditation through elimination of what is not meditated upon. This union is called samadhi. The rejection of what is not the object of meditation creates an imbalance, so that the state reached as a result of this effort, however blissful or happy it may be, can’t be maintained. If you take a closer look at this bliss, it is, for all practical purposes, not really different from any other object-generated happiness, such as the happiness you experience when you get a long-desired-for red Ferrari. It has a beginning in time and an end in time. The earnest truth-seeker soon finds that such a time-bound episode of happiness leaves him dissatisfied. He is looking for that which is timeless and discovers that the samadhi which can be reached as a result of objective meditation is finally the same kind of happiness he thought he was immunized against. Once this is understood the door is opened to real meditation. Real meditation is spontaneous. It is pure welcoming, because there is no choosing of whatever appears in the field of consciousness. There is no selection. There is only choiceless allowing, be it of external perceptions, feelings, bodily sensations, thoughts, or their absence. Everything is equally allowed to come into existence, not as a practice, but because the mind has understood its own limitations. That is all the truth-seeker needs to do. No further spiritual practice needs to be undertaken.
In this openness we live in the now. There is nothing to gain, nothing to lose. Awareness is not something to be acquired at the end of a process. We already have all we need. We are fully equipped, without any missing parts. In the beginning, we may experience this total absence of problems, which has now become our new condition, as a neutral state. This is because the mind is still running like a motor whose cord has just been unplugged. When we become a little more acquainted with our new perspective, we feel the bliss of the now, which is causeless and absolutely non-objective. It is like tuning in to a new frequency and listening to a Mozart piano concerto after hearing several hours of garbage on the radio. Then we simultaneously live at two levels: the usual objective world in front, and a new level in the background from which the music, the beauty originates. This level is not a specifically localized place. It is a metaphysical space, the background of the mind, the core of our being.
When we live in listening, we will notice a change in our feelings, thoughts, the way we sense our body, and the way we interact with others. Welcoming is a universal law. The night is welcoming, the sky is welcoming, the birds and the trees are welcoming. When we are surrounded by welcoming human companions, we live in beauty. Our shared presence gives us a taste of what the lost paradise might have felt like.
Real Life Has No Purpose
Does life have a purpose?
Real life has no purpose. Real life is pure joy, pure freedom. Now, if by life you mean this existence between birth and death, it could be said that its purpose is to know the truth.
Some people feel that the purpose of this existence is to contribute to the greater good, help other people, do the best they can in their circumstances, and help their family. When you say that the goal is the single one of knowing the truth, how would you explain to them that this goal is more important than the ones toward which they are working?
First, there is no incompatibility between knowing the truth and being a good husband or wife, a good father or mother, a good citizen. On the contrary, only in the absence of the belief that we are a separate entity, an ego, a person, can we be open to real love, to real beauty, and live a happy, creative, and harmonious life.
If someone wants to pursue the truth while raising a family, earning a living, and dealing with his own private unhappiness, how is he to do this?
Through intelligence. Understanding doesn’t require any material change in our way of living. We start with what is at hand, with an interrogation about who we are, our perceptions, feelings, and thoughts. This investigation into our own reality is not merely conceptual, but includes all aspects of our life.
Can such a pursuit be carried on in the midst of a hectic life?
Certainly, and it is the only way you can be sure that your happiness belongs to you, is your own treasure, that it doesn’t depend on any external circumstances. If your happiness depends on external factors, such as harmonious surroundings, then your beautiful experience vanishes when you are at the post office, or when there is noise outside. So this experience was not really your own happiness, it was merely a happy state.
I understand that happiness itself can’t depend on anything external . . .
A great maturity is already required to reach this understanding, because most people think that happiness lies in some kind of object.
Does one require circumstances in his life that are conducive to such an investigation, o
r can it be carried out in the midst of a busy professional and family life?
No change is required. The only requirement is to be totally open to situations, to face them without any prejudgment, without any intervention of personal memory, because they are always new. If we face a situation without any intention, free from fear and desire, this openness paves the way for an intuition that will lead to a decision or an action in total harmony with that situation. Such a decision may bring about an apparent change, but this change is not an escape from or an avoidance of the situation, because it doesn’t originate from the person. It emanates from intelligence.
When you say that a person should face the situation without memory or intention, this isn’t how people usually enter into business or social situations. They are there for a purpose, with an intention. They enter into the situation remembering whatever is necessary to carry out their intentions. Why should they change their approach to their everyday situations, given that some kind of memory and some sort of intention will certainly play a role?
Some “know-how” is necessary to carry out professional tasks or daily life activities. For instance, as a physician, you have acquired knowledge and skills that belong to your profession. When required in a given situation, in the presence of a patient, this knowledge comes back to you effortlessly. There is absolutely nothing wrong with such functional concepts or actions that apparently arise from memory. But, if I go about my daily work struggling, full of fear and desire, I have to ask myself, “What are my motivations? Who am I doing that for? What is my ultimate goal?”
We often assign ourselves goals in life (sometimes our parents and teachers have preassigned these goals), and never question them again. We go on with our life, totally programmed, totally conditioned. It would be wise to pause, and find out what we really want, what we really need.
Are you suggesting that there should be no psychological memory, and no psychological intent, when a person enters a business situation or a social situation, but that practical, functional memories that arise from the situation are perfectly fine?
Yes. I am amazed by the amount of energy executives and professionals in the business community devote to struggling with themselves, and against each other, in order to achieve personal goals. Most of their energy is spent in this fruitless struggle, and only a small part of it is left for the efficient fulfillment of their duties. This constant state of conflict generates suffering both in them and in the people around them. Why does this happen? How can we stop this war? We first have to see the situation, because when we see it, maturity and intelligence come in. When we inquire deeply into this conflict, we discover that it originates from the ego, and that all this mess has a single purpose: the survival and happiness of the individual entity we believe we are.
So, to pursue life’s main purpose, the truth, and to do it with less suffering, we should continue to enter into everyday situations, but less personally or even not personally, not as a person.
Yes. We should develop a new way of approaching the situations, an impersonal way. If we try to escape from a situation by avoiding it, we will have to confront it again, sooner or later. Therefore, it is absurd to postpone facing it. We have to deal with the facts as they appear, but not from the vantage point of a personal entity. We should face them from a more “scientific” or experimental perspective: without prejudging, without projecting any conclusion, simply seeing the components of the situation as they actually are. We should let the facts tell the story. When the situation is allowed to unfold, then, at some point, clarity appears and the action or the non-action that comes out of this clarity doesn’t leave any traces behind.
***
You say that this world is an illusion. How did you discover that?
The question behind this question is, “You say that this world is an illusion. How can I discover that?”
Absolutely!
When I say that this world is an illusion, I don’t mean that this world doesn’t exist. I simply mean that this world doesn’t exist as an object that is separate or distinct from awareness. In other words, this world is not autonomous as classical physics would like us to believe. It can’t be denied when perceived, as a perception, but can’t be proved to exist when not perceived.
But, will you agree that an illusion exists as what it is, namely an illusion, an appearance?
Yes. An illusion is comprised of two elements: an underlying reality and a superimposed illusory concept. When you see a rope in the dark, you may mistakenly take it for a snake. But, when you turn on the light, you see that the only reality of the snake was the rope. There was never a snake in the first place. The snake was a complete illusion. An illusion is nonexistent. The snake never existed. The reality of the snake was the rope.
This is difficult to grasp because, although you are saying the snake never existed, I may not only have seen the snake, I may be able to tell you what color it was, how long it was, and so on. So, it can’t be said that there was absolutely nothing. Furthermore, I didn’t see the rope.
Of course. The color and all the other characteristics of the snake were a bunch of concepts bundled together to form the illusion. However, your claim that you didn’t see the rope is false. You saw nothing but the rope. You simply didn’t recognize it for what it really was, and superimposed the notion of a snake onto it. In the same way, the notion that there is a world out there, separate from us, is an illusion. What we perceive is reality itself. Most people don’t recognize it for what it is, and superimpose onto it the notion of an external and independent world.
The world is in the position of the snake. It seems to be there, but is not.
Exactly. It is an alleged world. Now, what is in the position of the rope? Before the presence of the snake, after the presence of the snake, and during the presence of the snake, in reality, there is the rope. Before the presence of the world, after the presence of the world, and during the presence of the world, there is awareness. Thus, the only reality is awareness.
***
You said, on another occasion, that there is a continuous background of awareness both behind and between mentations. Why is that important, and how can I know that it is so for sure? How can I be certain, based on my own experience, that this is actually so?
The mind is made out of thoughts and perceptions, what we could call mentations. Nobody would challenge the fact that there is awareness during the presence of a mentation.
No.
So your question is, “How can I be aware of the fact that there is awareness between two mentations?” The mentations are the mind. This interval between two mentations doesn’t belong to the objective mind. It is beyond the mind, totally out of reach. We can’t perceive it through our five senses, we can’t conceptualize it.
How is it that we are here discussing it, if we can’t think it or conceive it? We seem to be talking about it.
What we can conceive is the fact that it is inconceivable. Conceiving that it is inconceivable brings about a purification of the mind. As a consequence of this understanding, our mind leaves the old patterns, the old belief that what we are is something that can be conceived or perceived as an object, such as a mind or a body. When the mind comes to the understanding that it has no access to this awareness which is present during and between mentations, it becomes quiet. But, the conviction that there is consciousness between two mentations never comes from the mind, from logical reasoning. It can only come from the experience of reality. When we ask ourselves, “Who am I?” and understand deeply that what we are is not perceivable and not conceivable, we remain as awareness. It is not a verbal answer, not a concept, not a perception. It is a living answer that brings with it its own conviction, its own certainty. We can also experience it at the end of a thought that refers to our true nature. Such a thought is not centrifugal; it has no other place to go than to the inwardness of the heart. And when the thought about our intimate reality dies in its source, there is a moment of g
race. In a single experience, beyond time, we are splendor, eternity, and love.
I love my desires. They make me feel alive. I don’t see why I should renounce them.
Love your desires. Don’t try to fight them. Welcome them. If you struggle against them, there is no way open for you to understand their origin. Intelligence starts with love. Love your desires, and understand what your deepest desire is. Whenever you find yourself desiring an object, ask yourself, “Will this object bring me the happiness I really want?” If the answer is, “Yes” then go ahead and learn from the experience. By loving your desires, by inquiring about them, you will come to understand that they all are superimposed onto the desire for peace and happiness, the desire to find your own nature, your real home.
If we welcome our desires, and even love them, aren’t we actually indulging them? Is your suggestion that we welcome our desires any different from indulging them?
Yes. You can indulge in desires only if you think that the acquisition of the desired object will bring about the kind of happiness for which you are really looking. Once you have been informed, once you have acknowledged for yourself that the happiness you are seeking is not and can never be produced by any object, you are open to a new dimension. Then a detachment is born in you that is a spontaneous by-product of this understanding. This detachment allows you to maintain some distance between you, as awareness, and the emerging desire in you. You are no longer “stuck” to the desire. There is some space, some room for change, understanding, and learning.
Eternity Now Page 6