Dramatic, since they were only walking back to Joshua’s house to let the movers in, but he went with it—Finn was fond of dramatic gestures and Joshua was fond of Finn. So he took his hand with a smile, surprised when Finn led him toward the front door instead of back, out across the gardens. “Wait, where are we going?”
“I thought we’d take my car.”
“But your car’s in—” He stopped when he realized the front door stood open, Dee and her girls loitering outside, grinning back at him. If Finn hadn’t spent weeks planning their road trip in minute detail, Joshua might have expected to see a limo waiting to whisk them off to JFK. But he knew Finn wanted to drive, that the journey itself was meaningful to them both, so he glanced over at Finn in confusion.
“Come and see,” Finn said, squeezing his hand as they stepped outside. And there, parked off to the right and sparkling in the morning sun, sat a vintage Mustang convertible.
The vintage Mustang convertible. The one they’d driven that long-ago summer, the one they’d borrowed the day they first kissed, the one they’d made love in under the stars.
“You’re kidding,” Joshua said, laughing. “You bought it?”
“I want to do this right, Josh. I want it to be perfect.”
“It will be,” he said, smiling into Finn’s sparkling eyes. “It already is.”
With a laugh, Finn swooped in for a quick, startling kiss. They’d never kissed in public before and it made Joshua’s heart soar in delight. Ali hooted gleefully while Finn went charmingly pink. And suddenly all Joshua wanted to do was drive, streak down the golden highway Finn had once seen stretching out into their future—just the two of them together, burning through the world so fast it couldn’t touch them.
* * *
Turned out, cruising across the country in a ’65 Mustang with the love of your life by your side was as close to heaven as it got this side of paradise.
They had two weeks on the road, the longest time they’d spent in each other’s company since the summer they’d fallen in love, and Finn was enjoying every damn second. Between his schedule and Josh’s commitments in New Milton, they’d only snatched a handful of weekends together since their miraculous reunion back in January and they both needed this trip. Hell, Finn had been aching for Josh every hour they were apart, and starting this new chapter of their lives at last—at fucking last—was a relief he felt in his bones. An actual, physical relief.
Today they were halfway between Lincoln, Nebraska, and the Rockies. Finn drove—he did most of the driving because Josh was, frankly, a terrible driver—and the road was straight, empty of everything bar the occasional truck. The mountains were only a blur on the horizon, crouching low under a bank of heavy cloud, but the sky above them was a pristine blue. Finn’s arm stretched along the seat back and Josh’s head lolled against it where he dozed. Even that made Finn’s stomach tighten happily and he had to fight the urge to take his eyes off the road and just gaze at him. He contented himself with curling his arm around Josh’s shoulders, letting his thumb brush the faint stubble on his jaw, and thinking about where to stop for lunch.
Neither of them had wanted to rush the trip, so they were taking their time—spending it with each other, talking, laughing, singing along to the radio or riding in silence with their hands linked together and the wind in their hair. Being with Josh was enough for Finn, driving this road with him like they’d planned all those years ago made him feel like he was finally getting his life on the right track. Josh would be living with him when they got to LA, which would be awesome, but Finn wanted them to buy their own place soon—somewhere they’d chosen together. Maybe not in LA, maybe somewhere farther up the coast. Some place quieter. Neither of them really knew where their careers were going now, but it didn’t matter. They were together and Finn didn’t care about anything else.
At his side, Josh stirred and Finn grazed his knuckles over his jaw. “Hey,” he said. “Good morning.”
“Ugh.” Josh sat up straighter, rubbing at his eyes under his sunglasses. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
“It’s okay, sleep if you’re tired. I don’t mind driving.” Truth was, he loved driving.
“Where are we?” Josh said, stretching his arms over his head to unkink his back. And fuck, but Finn loved the way he moved, that lean arch of his spine. He loved it so much he almost veered into the other lane.
“Eyes on the road!” Joshua yelped, laughing as Finn swerved the car back across the central line. “And you say I’m a crappy driver.”
“I’ve never said that.”
“No? Well, you say it with your eyes.”
Finn suspected that his eyes, currently hiding behind his sunglasses, were saying something very different right now. “It’s not my fault you’re so hot.”
“It’s not my fault you’re so insatiable.”
“Hey, it wasn’t me doing unmentionable things in the shower this morning.”
Josh grinned, putting his feet up on the dash. “I’m pretty sure you were there too.”
“Yeah, well, you started it.”
But Finn had finished it. Oh, how he’d finished it, with Josh’s hands braced on the shower wall, head thrown forward and spine flexing as water ran between his shoulder blades, Finn fucking him easy and tender, one arm wrapped around his waist and their hips moving in slow, synchronous rolls.
Fuck, he was getting hard just thinking about it. Josh’s hand sliding across his thigh didn’t help matters. “Yeah,” Finn snorted, “I’m the insatiable one.”
They ate lunch at a bar in a place called Brady, which had great food for a town that was nothing but a speck on the map, and took care to keep their hands to themselves just in case. Although Finn doubted any red-blooded homophobe would mistake the heated smiles they shared over their remarkably good burgers, or the way Finn’s eyes lingered on Josh’s slender hips when he headed out to the car while Finn settled up. Like a dazzled teenager, Finn couldn’t keep his eyes off Josh. He couldn’t stop smiling either.
Storm clouds welcomed them into Denver, brooding over the city and the gay-friendly inn Finn had booked. The wind picked up while they unloaded the car, and on their way back from dinner the heavens opened with a thunderclap. Laughing, they ran through the rain, but outside the inn Josh stopped and flung his arms wide, face tipped to the nighttime sky. “God, I love the rain!”
Finn’s heart lurched, swamped by memories of another rainstorm half a continent and a half lifetime away. He’d been a kid then, just coming to understand his feelings, but he was a man now and he knew exactly what he wanted—who he wanted. Taking Josh’s face in his hands he gazed into his lovely eyes, watched the tiny raindrops sparkling on his lashes. “I love you,” he said. “I love you, Josh.” And he wanted to shout it to the world, wanted everyone to know. Heart thumping with a new, unrestrained joy Finn leaned in and kissed him, right there in the street for the world to see. Josh tasted of rainwater and the beer they’d been drinking, his lips cool and mouth hot as they kissed and kissed until they were soaked to the skin.
When a passing truck honked, Josh pulled back with a rueful smile. “Maybe we should go inside.”
They stripped, laughing, out of their wet clothes as soon as their bedroom door closed behind them and fell into each other’s arms on the bed’s crisp white sheets. But then they slowed, Finn propping himself up on one elbow to gaze down into Josh’s face, overwhelmed by a flood of tenderness. “I can’t believe we’re here,” he said, stroking damp hair back from Josh’s face.
Josh lifted an eyebrow. “Among the bright lights of Denver?”
“You know what I mean.”
His eyes softened. “Yeah, I know.” He reached up to touch Finn’s face, running his thumb over his lips. “I can’t tell you how happy I am, Finn. How happy you make me. I don’t have the words.”
And because Finn didn’t have the word
s either, he leaned down and pressed their lips together in a deep, languorous kiss. No need to hurry when they weren’t counting the hours until they parted, no need to hurry when their time together stretched out into the boundless future.
Josh was still sensitive from the morning’s tryst in the shower, so he happily let Finn take him apart with his mouth, his lips, his tongue. Stretched out on the bed, eyes closed, Josh was all feline grace and soft gasps, and it didn’t take long for him to climax with a wordless cry, fingers knotting in Finn’s hair and back arching off the bed. Then, with hooded eyes, he pulled Finn up into his arms and kissed him thoroughly as they tangled together, whispering Finn’s name into his skin like a prayer. Finn came like that, in Josh’s arms, with swift and unexpected force, muffling his shuddering groan against Josh’s shoulder, their slick and sweaty bodies entwined, hearts hammering.
Later, rain pattering against the window, Finn drifted toward sleep spooned around Josh’s back, one arm draped over his waist to keep him close. Their room was dark, thick curtains keeping out the lights of passing cars, and his body felt heavy, sated. Content.
With a sigh, Josh closed his hand over Finn’s, threading their fingers together as he pressed deeper into Finn’s embrace. “Promise me something?” he whispered into the dark.
“Anything.”
“Don’t let go.”
Finn’s heart squeezed as he hugged Josh tighter, pressing a kiss to the nape of his neck. “I’ll never let go, Josh. Never.”
* * *
They chased the sun into Los Angeles.
By the time they reached Finn’s waterfront house—mansion, really, Joshua supposed—the sun was low on the horizon, its golden light spilling across the water and gilding everything it touched.
This wasn’t the first time Joshua had visited Finn’s house. He’d flown out a couple times over the last few months, but those had just been visits—now he was coming to stay for good. He couldn’t suppress a flutter of excitement as he climbed out of the car, stretched out the kinks in his back, and gazed up at his new home, his home with Finn.
He’d have been just as excited had it been a studio apartment.
Finn held out his hand with a smile, his own anticipation as eager as a child’s. “Come on in, then.”
It was a beautiful house, all terracotta floors and pale stucco walls, although it had never felt very lived-in on Josh’s previous visits. He thought that would change now he was here, now they were making it their home. Strange, though, not to have any of his own belongings around him—what he’d wanted to keep from the cottage would arrive in a few days, but for now he felt like they were still on vacation.
His first stop was the bathroom—it had been a long drive from Vegas—and after that he found Finn in the kitchen, exploring his well-stocked refrigerator. The joys of having a housekeeper! Finn turned with a smile when Joshua padded in barefoot on the cool tiles.
“We made it,” he said, offering him a bottle of beer.
They clinked their bottles together and drank deep, then eyed each other in the silence of the kitchen. Here they were, together—it was almost too much to believe after all this time. Joshua didn’t know what to do next.
“Come on.” Finn set his beer down on the counter and took Joshua’s hand. “Let me show you around.”
Joshua took another pull on his beer, then left it with Finn’s. “I’ve been here before,” he reminded him.
“Yeah, but I’ve made some changes.”
They started with the bedroom, where Finn had cleared out half the large walk-in closet for Joshua’s use. He laughed—he wouldn’t need even half so much space for his clothes!—but Finn’s excitement was so endearing he was obliged to stop and kiss him for quite some time, fully intending to make use of the newly cleared-out bedroom. But Finn had other ideas. “There’s more,” he said, and led Joshua to an empty room that could be his office and then downstairs to the back of the house where a long deck opened out onto the private beach. But they didn’t go outside. Instead, Finn led Joshua to the room he used for storing all kinds of beach junk.
“What in the world...?”
With a triumphant smile, Finn opened the door and gestured for Joshua to precede him inside. He did, and then stopped dead. “Oh my God.”
The room had been transformed. Golden sunlight streamed through the blinds on the floor-to-ceiling windows, falling in stripes across the warm terracotta tiles. Pale walls were decorated with several framed album covers—he noticed Physical Graffiti and Led Zeppelin IV among them—but the room itself sat empty save the single object at its center: a piano. His mother’s piano.
“I always imagined you playing in here,” Finn said from behind him. “This room has great light and I thought you’d love the view over the ocean.”
“It’s...” Joshua shook his head, one hand pressed to his mouth in a vain attempt to keep his emotions in check. “Finn, it’s too much.”
“No. It’s yours, Josh. Always has been.”
“But...” He turned around, voice shaking. “What about the school?”
Finn’s lips quirked. “The school?”
“You gave the piano to the school, to Liz...”
He gave an awkward shrug. “Well, turns out you can get a very decent upright piano for a couple thousand bucks, so.... Josh”—Finn took both his hands, fixing him with a steady look—“I never bought your mom’s piano for the school. I bought it for you. Always you. I was just too damn stupid to admit it.”
With a catch in his throat, Joshua could do nothing but throw his arms around Finn and bury his face against his shoulder.
“It belongs here,” Finn whispered, his voice as shaky. “Just like you do.”
It took Joshua a while to recover from that, but eventually he pulled himself out of Finn’s arms and went to examine the piano. Far too emotional to play straightaway, he contented himself with running his fingers lovingly over the keys and trying to absorb the fact that this piece of his past wasn’t lost. That Finn had restored to him that which his father had taken away—and in so many ways more profound than this piano. It made his heart ache with happiness.
They were both hungry so they made sandwiches and took them onto the beach to watch the sunset. Unlike New Milton Bay, this was a featureless stretch of pale sand that rolled out into the distance on either side. There were no cliffs and no dunes, but the golden sun sank slowly below the horizon, splashing gilt across the water, and the hazy air hung heavy around them, charged with possibility. Although it seemed strange to watch the sun set instead of rise over the water, Joshua liked the difference. This was his new life, after all, his new world.
Finn had brought a blanket, so they spread it out and sat down side by side to eat. Since the beach was private, there was nobody there but themselves and, a little farther down, a couple of older ladies power-walking on the firm sand of the foreshore. Joshua envied them, realizing suddenly that he wanted to feel the Pacific on his toes before the sun set on his first day in California. “Let’s go down to the water,” he said, standing up and holding out a hand to Finn.
He grinned as Joshua pulled him to his feet. “Race you?”
Finn was off like a shot, but Joshua soon caught him up and overtook him as he went splashing into the warm water. “This is beautiful!” he said, laughing, spinning around in a circle. The breeze caught his hair, his T-shirt fluttering against his skin and he spread his arms wide, as if he could catch the wind and fly, closing his eyes and smiling into the setting sun.
Finn splashed up behind him, catching him around the waist, chin coming to rest on his shoulder. “You look like the king of the world,” he murmured softly, a smile in his voice.
Joshua laughed, covering Finn’s arms with his own, holding them around him. “You make me feel like I am.”
“You’re the king of my world, dude.”
He laughed at the silly joke, but loved it anyway.
“Josh, can I ask you something?”
The shift in Finn’s tone, the minor uptick of tension, was enough to make Joshua turn to look. “Of course. What is it?”
Finn smiled and held him tighter, settling them so that they were both looking out to sea again. “It’s, ah—It’s only this,” he said, the words quiet against his ear. “It’s just—would you marry me, Josh?”
“Finn...” He squirmed around in Finn’s arms, needing to see his face, to make sure he was serious. And he was; it was all there in Finn’s hopeful uncertain expression, the banked light in his eyes, the way he bit his bottom lip. And suddenly Joshua couldn’t speak, choking on emotion as he nodded and watched Finn’s slow smile.
“Is that a yes?”
“Of course,” Joshua managed. “Definitely. One hundred percent yes.”
Finn let out a bark of delight. And then they were both laughing and hugging so tight Joshua thought he might crack a rib. Maybe they were crying a little too, because when they kissed Finn’s lips tasted salty.
Eventually, they made their way back to the blanket and sank down together, the sand warm beneath their bare feet as they kissed until they were smiling too much to carry on. Joshua lay there, breathless and grinning, as Finn ran tender fingers through his hair. “I can’t believe it.” Joshua reached up to touch Finn’s face. “After all this time.”
“I’d have asked you back then, if I could.”
“I’d have said yes back then, if I could.” He felt a pulse of regret but let it go. Would-haves didn’t matter, all that counted was the glorious now.
“This is the start, Josh. Can you feel it?” Finn traced the line of Joshua’s jaw, his cheek, threaded his fingers into the hair at his temples. “Man, I can almost taste it, I want it so bad.”
Joshua pulled him down next to him, touched their foreheads together. In the deepening twilight, Finn was all soft shadows and warmth. “I can feel it too,” he said, heart soaring like a kite on the breeze because he could feel it—and this time there were no storm clouds on the horizon. “Finn, I want it too. I want everything with you.”
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