He squeezed her tighter, unable to answer.
Madison screamed again as Donovan entered the room. ‘Help me!’ She twisted her head toward him. One eye was swollen shut and the rest of her face looked like so much raw meat with blood covering everything. ‘Please, please, help me.’
Four gouges down Jim’s face attested to the fact that Madison hadn’t gone down without a fight.
Rage flooded through Donovan’s veins and he rushed Jim. The man outweighed him by hundreds of pounds, but Donovan leapt onto his back. He locked his arm around Jim’s neck, intent on choking the life out of him. The smell of alcohol on him was overpowering.
Jim scratched at Donovan’s arms and got to his feet. He slammed their bodies into the wall behind them, bouncing Donovan’s head against the wood paneling. Dazed, Donovan lost his grip and fell to the floor.
“Sh-stay off me, boy,” he slurred, “unless you want the same treatment.” Jim loomed over him, swaying on his feet. “I’m tired of her bullshit. She’s got to learn a lesh-leshion.”
Jim jumped onto Maddie again, wrapping his sausage-like fingers around her throat.
She struggled for a few seconds, thrashing her legs beneath Jim’s bulk. Donovan lurched to his feet through his dizziness. He clawed at Jim’s hands, trying to loosen them so she could breathe. Maddie’s flailing arm hit Donovan in the stomach and his eyes met the one she could still open. The light in it already seemed to be fading. Before long, her struggles stopped.
‘That’ll teach you to sass me.’ Jim’s fingers relaxed around her neck. ‘Get up, girl. That’s punishment enough.’
Madison didn’t move, didn’t take a breath.
Tears splashed down Donovan’s face as he hugged his friend’s body. ‘I won’t forget our promises,’ he whispered to her still form. ‘I love you, Maddie.’
Donovan turned his head into the pillow behind him, crying into it.
Madeline moved his face toward hers with gentle hands, clearing away his tears. “You don’t have to tell me the rest, if you don’t want to.”
He shrugged. “There’s not much to tell,” he got out past the tears. “Jim strangled her, and I couldn’t stop him. At least he couldn’t cover that up. I ran away the next morning and hitchhiked into town. Once I found a cop, I took him to where we buried Madison’s body the night before.” He rubbed at the tears on his cheeks. “Jim’s rotting in jail now. He will be for the rest of his miserable life.”
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I wish that never happened to you.”
“At least the boys were safe—Madison would’ve wanted that. We all went to foster care. It didn’t seem so bad, once I had something to compare it to.” He sniffled, trying to hold back his tears and failing. “Bastards like Jim are the reason I became a cop.”
“And the reason you go after wife beaters and child abusers.” Madeline’s lips quivered. She kissed him deeply. Her body shook and her tears matched his.
Donovan didn’t know how long they lay there, crying together, but it was the first time he felt crying did any good. A healing of sorts, sharing this horrible memory with the woman he loved, knowing she empathized with him, cared about him.
After they calmed down, Madeline ran to the bathroom, coming out blowing her nose and handing him a wad of toilet paper. Once they had cleaned up, she snuggled back against him.
“Thank you for telling me.” She rubbed his chest while she talked. “I understand now why you dated around so much. You’ve been afraid to commit to anyone, haven’t you?”
He shrugged, once again feeling in control of his emotions. “I also hadn’t met the right woman yet.”
“And that’s me?”
“I sure hope so.” He paused and took a deep breath, half afraid to tell her what he needed to. “I have to know whether you’re willing to take on foster children. I can’t commit to someone who won’t.”
She folded her hands together atop his chest and rested her chin on them, meeting his eyes. “I understand. You want to help other kids who might have a hard life like you. We’ll help them, Donovan, don’t worry.”
“We will?” He smiled. It felt as if a heavy weight lifted off his chest. “So, you think you’re pretty serious about me, huh?”
“Just a tad.”
“I’m glad you’re willing. I have to do this. I made a promise to her before she died.”
“About the kids?”
He nodded, leaning forward to kiss her softly. “And about you.”
Her eyebrows drew together. “Me?”
He sighed, leaning his head back. He felt utterly spent, but in a good way. Maddie wanted to be his and she wanted the same things in life he did. “We once promised each other if Jim got to one of us, the other would go on to live a happy life. We promised to find someone else to love. Kind of one last ‘screw you’ to Father Jim.”
“That’s so sad you guys planned for that possibility.”
He rubbed her back. “It’s all okay now. Despite the murder charge, meeting you is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
Madeline laid her head on his shoulder without speaking. Her even breaths soothed him, drawing him nearer to sleep as she massaged his head, running her fingers evenly across his scalp. He couldn’t remember ever feeling this way with another woman. So content. Being with Maddie was like being home. The woman he’d always waited for.
He kissed her forehead before sleep claimed him. “Now that I have you, Maddie, everything is perfect.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Madeline woke as the darkness in the bedroom brightened to a soft gray. Donovan wrapped his arm around her stomach, holding her close to his warm body. It was nice, safe. If only she knew for sure she was the ‘Maddie’ he wanted to hold.
Of course, it was foolish to feel jealous of Madison. The poor girl had a wretched life and shame washed over Madeline for even letting the thought cross her mind. Still, she couldn’t help but compare the similarities.
Donovan said Madison was a feisty girl, a quality he admired in Madeline. They both had straight brown hair and dark-brown eyes. Madeline had agreed to give Donovan his and Madison’s dream: a loving home for foster children.
When he called her Maddie was he really thinking of her, or the young girl in that picture?
She needed that question answered before they moved their relationship forward. Last night it had been easy to tell Donovan she would give him his dream. This morning, things didn’t seem so black and white. She refused to be a substitute for the woman he really wanted.
Madeline grabbed Donovan’s hand in hers and kissed his palm before lifting his arm and slipping out from beneath it. She stood and put her robe on.
Donovan muttered in his sleep and patted the empty bed. “Love you, Maddie,” he murmured, rolling over and tucking his hands beneath his cheek.
She sighed and walked to the bathroom to brush her teeth. She’d make a nice breakfast for him first. After that, she and Donovan needed to talk.
***
The shadowy figure laughed and slipped the rope around Madeline’s throat. “You didn’t think I’d let you have her, did you, Donnie?”
Donovan yelled and squeezed his eyes tightly shut, heart hammering against his breastbone. It’s only a dream. He reached across the bed, searching for Madeline’s warm body to reassure him all was right with the world. His fingers encountered cold sheets. He opened his eyes to see the empty spot beside him.
“Madeline?” he hollered. “Where are you?”
When she didn’t answer, he climbed out of bed and walked to the bathroom. He tapped on the partially closed door. “Maddie? You in there?”
The door opened at his touch. Empty.
She’s in the living room. Relax. Everything’s fine.
Somehow, that rational voice did nothing to ease his irrational fear. After almost losing her once to Suzie, Donovan wasn’t willing to push aside the fear produced by the dream.
He rushed through the bedroom and open
ed the door to the living room. “Madeline?”
She walked around the corner, coming from the kitchen holding a spatula. “What’s wrong?”
He closed his eyes. “Thank God. I thought...” When he opened his eyes, she walked toward him.
Madeline placed her empty hand against his chest, face creased with worry. “What happened?”
Donovan wrapped her in his arms and drew her close, kissing wherever his lips landed—her mouth, her cheek, her neck. “I had a horrible dream, and when I woke up you were gone.” He relaxed his hold slightly. It was only a dream, but it seemed so real. “I’m just worried something might happen to you again. You nearly died, Madeline. I almost lost you forever.”
The spatula dropped from her hand, thudding against the floor. She framed his face in her hands. “You’re taking good care of me. Nothing bad will happen.” She kissed him softly before pulling away. “Besides, I didn’t miss the extra cans of pepper spray you placed around my house. If anyone gets in here again, I’ll take care of myself. And there are all those new locks on the door. I’m safe.”
He pressed his forehead to hers and tried not to smile. “Are you implying I went a bit overboard with security measures?”
“No, no.” She shook her head, but her eyes sparkled. “I’d never accuse you of that.”
“Good, because I’m teaching you how to shoot a gun soon.”
She shuddered in his embrace. “I’m terrified of guns. I’ll leave those to you.”
He wanted to argue further, but she kissed him again, effectively stopping any further discussion.
“Now, Mr. Andrews, I’ve worked very hard cooking for you.” She took a step back and looked down. “As charming as I find your outfit, I don’t think it’s considered proper breakfast attire.”
Donovan contemplated his lack of clothing. “We could institute our own dress code.”
She laughed. “I’m not cooking bacon naked, no matter what kind of sick little fantasy you have going on.”
“Fine. Have it your way. I guess I’ll go cover up this magnificence.” He kissed her cheek and headed for the bedroom.
“Oh, wait. Could you do me a favor?” she called after him.
He turned to look at her. “What’s that?”
“Bend over and grab my spatula?” She winked. “I want to admire the view.”
***
Madeline set the platter of pancakes on the table and sat across from Donovan. The smell of slightly burned bacon permeated the apartment and the open window didn’t help matters any.
“I take it you’re the one who did the grocery shopping?” she grumbled.
“How’d you guess?”
She shook her head and spooned eggs onto her plate. “My parents know better than to trust me with bacon.”
Donovan grabbed a piece off his plate and popped it into his mouth. “I love it crispy.”
“There’s a fine line between crispy and...this.”
“It’s really good,” he insisted, eating another piece.
Madeline shrugged as she buttered a pancake, her mind only half on the food. She had so much fun with Donovan that it was easy to forget her concerns while he flirted with her. Plus, flirting was a lot more fun than worrying about the past.
All through cooking their breakfast, she’d tried to talk herself out of bringing up the Madison subject with Donovan. Although she wanted to know the truth, a part of her was afraid. What if it was Madison he really wanted?
They ate in silence for a while, Madeline too afraid to ask.
I might be a coward, but I’m a coward getting hot sex from a man who at least says he loves me. Is that enough?
“I forgot to tell you about my meeting today,” Donovan said, pulling her from her thoughts.
“Meeting?”
“The DA’s reconsidering moving forward. Jeremy’s been working hard to point out the inconsistencies in the evidence they have against me. With Suzie’s attack on you and the rope...” He shrugged.
Hope flared in her. “You think he might drop the charges?”
“Might at least put things on hold.” He reached across the table and squeezed her hand. “Maybe I won’t go to prison, and I can have the life I want.”
She swallowed hard and looked at her plate. “What’s the life you want, Donovan?”
“My job back. Kids. A home. Good times with the woman I love.” He lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed the back of it. “A partner who cooks perfect bacon.”
He grinned, but Madeline pulled her hand away. She drank some tea and leaned back in her chair, watching him, wishing she knew how to start the conversation she needed to have.
“Something on my face?” Donovan finally asked, rubbing the sides of his mouth.
“I was just wondering...” She shook her head. “No. Never mind.”
“You can’t do that. Tell me.”
Her palms were suddenly sweaty and she wiped them against her robe. “Could my twin cook good bacon?”
“Your twin?”
“Madison. Could she...” Madeline stopped talking. “That’s not what I want to ask.”
His hand caught her under the chin and stroked her jaw line. “Tell me what’s going on inside your head, ‘cause I’m lost out here. Why are we talking about Madison?”
“You said she was like me, that I remind you of her.” Madeline stared into Donovan’s eyes. She had to beat back her fear and ask him. She’d never be happy unless she knew for sure. “How do I know if you want to be with me because I’m me or if you’re hoping I can somehow replace her?”
Donovan stood from his chair and walked around the table, pulling Madeline to her feet. His hands wrapped around her shoulders and his eyes never left hers. “I’m not going to lie. I was attracted to you because you reminded me of her.”
Madeline tried to stuff down her disappointment. “Yes. Of course...I should have realized—”
His mouth pressed against hers. Lord help her, but she wanted him so bad, even if she was just a substitute. She opened her mouth as his tongue traced her upper lip. His hand trailed down her body, caressing the small of her back lightly and kicking her heart rate up a few notches.
“In the beginning, I felt I knew you because of that connection.” He pulled her tight against his body. “But I want to make something perfectly clear.”
“Wh-what’s that?” she asked, a bit breathless.
“Madison and I were friends, only friends. We loved each other more as brother and sister, not lovers. Our dream was to help the children. Madison was practical. We could best accomplish that goal by getting married and becoming Mommy and Daddy. So, Madison said we should get married. That was all it ever was. Me and my best friend.”
“But you said she was your first love.”
“And so she was, the first girl besides my mother I ever loved. Who knows what would have grown from that, had she lived, but we were just kids. Friends. Not lovers.” He moved his hands across her rear and then slid them around her hips.
Madeline shivered with excitement as goose bumps broke out across her skin.
He took her hands in his. “You are the first lover I’ve ever had who I also love. I don’t want a relationship born out of convenience with you. I want to be with you. I want you.”
He walked backward, pulling Madeline along with him as he walked through the kitchen. “I hope you got enough breakfast,” he said.
She nodded. “Where are we going?”
“We need to get ready to meet Jeremy. I seem to remember someone telling me she wanted to shower together.” A grin lit up his face. “I’m a man with needs, darling, but fortunately, they can be taken care of in the shower.”
Madeline took one hand out of his, loosened the sash on her robe, and winked. “I guess we both get what we want, Mr. Torturer.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Donovan paced the confines of the small room while Jeremy and Madeline sat at the table. He couldn’t help but feel jumpy. If Jeremy was convi
ncing enough, conceivably all his problems would be over. If not, he would be facing a pretrial hearing next week.
“You’re wearing me out,” Jeremy said. “Come over here and let me talk to you.”
Madeline held her hand out to him. “Please, sweetheart. I want to know what’s been going on. I missed so much.”
After grabbing her hand, Donovan sat in the chair next to her and faced Jeremy. “Do you have anything new?”
The older man nodded and pulled a folder from his briefcase. He opened the file and slid a paper across the table. “That’s a signed statement from Chris Tatum—”
“He owns the hardware store,” Donovan whispered to Madeline.
“He says you always left your phone lying around,” Jeremy said. “He’ll testify that there were many times he locked it up in the back room because you forgot it on a counter in the store.”
Madeline picked up the paper and looked it over. “He says he remembers Donovan setting it down the last time he was there, but can’t remember who picked it up.” She passed the paper to Donovan. “How does this help us?”
“It helps because I am really pressing the issue that someone’s setting him up,” Jeremy answered. “This establishes a pattern of him leaving it, Chris says Donovan did place it on the counter, and no one can testify as to who picked it up. I also have statements from people swearing it is common knowledge Donovan keeps his car unlocked so anyone could have returned the phone.”
Donovan read the statement over and handed it back to Jeremy. “But that doesn’t prove I didn’t make the call.”
“No, but it places doubt.” Jeremy put the paper back into the file. “All we have to do is provide reasonable doubt. Your hatred of cell phones is well known. Many people can testify to the fact that you left it everywhere. Honestly, is there a business in town you haven’t left it?”
Donovan shook his head. “I doubt it.”
“Exactly. Then, there’s the case regarding Maria.” Jeremy blinked a few times in what Donovan had come to find was a telltale sign he was trying not to cry. “The only DNA they could find was one strand of your hair on her blouse. Since you don’t deny you were there and you hugged Maria, this is very weak evidence to go on. There was no blood or saliva or anything. Unfortunately, she didn’t scratch the killer and leave us any clues that way.”
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