by Paige Tyler
My whole head feels like it’s swimming. This is the last chance I’m going to see Cash. If I was a braver girl, I’d tell him that I’d love to go for a ride on his motorcycle, that I think he’s the hunkiest man I’ve ever seen, and that when he was taking photos of me, I’d never felt more beautiful. But the words won’t form on my tongue.
No matter how hard I try, I can’t say a single thing.
Cash gazes at me for a few more moments before pushing off from the side of the car. He scoops up his helmet and flashes me one more gorgeous grin before sliding it onto his head. Just like that, his emerald eyes disappear. That’ll be the last time I ever get to bask in their emerald depths.
“I’ll see you around, okay?” he says.
I bite my lip, only able to come up with two simple words that fall far short of what I wish I could say.
“Goodbye, Cash.”
CHAPTER TEN
My feet drag against the ground as I make my way through the garage and into the beach house. After that abrupt goodbye from Cash, I don’t have the heart to unload my car now that I’m home. I’ll leave everything safely stowed away in the trunk. It can wait until tomorrow. Hopefully, by then, I’ll wake up feeling much better about everything that happened, but right now I’m so blue that the California sky could never even compare. At least I have my fashion launch to distract me from the fact that I’ll never see Cash again.
When I enter the house, I’m startled by a clattering of pots and pans echoing noisily from the kitchen. It sounds like a whole construction zone has opened up right in the middle of the house I share with my two BFFs. The raucous banging is punctuated only by an occasional, loud groan.
Even though it’s noisy as heck, the scent of baking cupcakes is heavenly as I hurry into the kitchen. There, Kali is rushing back and forth between numerous mixing bowls while Sutton slumps in a barstool at the granite island. Neither one of them looks happy. I guess their days have been as rough as mine. At least misery loves company.
“Oh no, oh no, oh no,” Sutton wails, running both hands through her long hair, pushing it back from her face.
Normally, I’d chalk Sutton’s loud whining up to her typical flair for the dramatic, but the fact that Kali is stress baking tells me that a serious situation must’ve arisen while I was at the photo shoot. Plus, Kali isn’t simply making any ordinary cupcakes. She’s whipped up homemade strawberry frosting to go with the vanilla cake, which she only does when she’s really trying not to freak out.
“What’s going on, guys?” I ask worriedly.
Sliding onto one of the kitchen stools beside Sutton, I pat her shoulder comfortingly. This meltdown can’t be anything Glossed & Glammed related, could it? Our latest posts had been uploaded without a hitch. I checked the comments earlier in the day and hadn’t seen anything out of the ordinary.
Kali slams down her cupcake tray with a defeated sigh.
“Boone and Grayson surprised Sutton and me with a reservation at an amazing resort in San Francisco,” she explains, tears welling in her bountiful blue eyes.
I arch a brow and glance at Sutton, who lets out another devastated wail.
I turn back to Kali. “I’m…sorry?” I offer uncertainly.
Why in the world would my two gorgeous besties be so upset over something that sounds so fun?
“We’re supposed to leave tomorrow!” Sutton whimpers. Springing back to life, she sits up straight and looks at me with pure devastation etched across her face. “Tomorrow, Liv! That’s when I scheduled a Glossed & Glammed live party across all of our social media platforms. We’re going to be announcing the upcoming launch of Franco’s fashion line. I absolutely can’t reschedule it. I’ve got a bunch of special guests lined up to help boost the post and everything. I can’t cancel on Kristen Bell and Dax Shepherd, Liv! That’s out of the question!”
She gives another dramatic cry and slumps over onto the counter. Kali scoops up a big glob of her strawberry frosting and plucks it between her pink lips.
“Guys, it’s going to be okay,” I say, trying to assure them, but my friends are having none of it.
“It’s not going to be okay. It’s the worst!” Sutton says pitifully. “Kali and I want to go on this little vacay so bad. We need it, even if it’s only a few days!”
My heart gives a little pang of jealousy, but I do my best to squash it down. It’s just that I wish I had someone to go on a getaway with, too. But I understand the reason I’ve been left out this time. Grayson and Boone had planned this as a couples’ retreat. I get invited to all of their couple outings. This has been the only recent exception. Besides, someone has to look after the animals and I’m much more of a homebody than any of them.
“How are we supposed to let the boys down easy? Any ideas, Liv?” Kali asks despondently. “Their deposit is nonrefundable and the resort won’t reschedule. Sutton and I already called the place and begged. We haven’t worked up the courage to tell the guys that we can’t go yet. You know Boone and Grayson. They’ll be understanding, of course, but this really sucks.”
“Well, how about you still go?” I offer without giving myself time to think too much about it. “I’ll host the live party. I’m the one who’s been spearheading this fashion line, so I should be able to handle this. I will be able to handle this,” I amend determinedly.
Both Kali and Sutton go completely still as they stare at me. Kali doesn’t even move when her oven timer starts to loudly beep.
I can understand their shock. This is the first time I’ve willingly suggested that I take over for a video, especially a live one where fans will be interacting with me in real-time. I’ve only ever taken over like this when I was left no choice before, but after totally failing to speak up to Cash about how I feel about him, I can’t disappoint my two besties the same way I’d disappointed myself. I managed not to totally screw up our business deal with Franco, so I think I can somehow manage not to screw this up, too.
I hope.
“Are you serious?” Sutton eventually sputters in surprise as she pushes herself up from the counter. “You really want to do this live, babe? I did mention that you’ll have to chat with the guests, right? And there will be tons of viewers.”
I wince but nod. “I’m serious. Let me handle this for you. Go on your getaway and enjoy your vacay with your guys.”
Squealing, Sutton and Kali throw their arms around me and hug me tight. I hug them back, and though I have to force my smile a little, I’m also really proud of myself for taking this leap of faith in my abilities.
After being unable to tell Cash how much I’m crushing on him, I need this kick in the butt to prove to myself that I’m not always going to be someone who will stay silent when something needs to be said.
This might be one little step in the right direction, but it’s the biggest one I’ve taken so far.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
“Thanks again for tuning in today, you gorgeous Glammers and fabulous Franco’s fans! We can’t wait for you all to get your hands on these clothes when they’re released. Keep an eye out, because it’s going to happen before you know it! It’s been so great spending time with you all today. Talk to you soon!” I grin and wave at the camera of my phone one more time before exiting the live feed.
I collapse backward on my bed with my arms and legs spread out to my sides like a starfish. When I stare dazedly up at the ceiling, exhilarated spots flicker in front of my eyes. I’m glad now that Sutton suggested hosting the strenuous livestream from the comfort of my own bed because it’s a great place to fall back on now.
I can hardly believe the hours-long stream is over now. It’d been looming over my head like a terrifying mountain all night long.
But I did it! I really did it!
Not only did I host a live Glossed & Glammed feed all on my own, but I actually ended up enjoying the heck out of it!
Answering questions and responding to comments in real-time turned out to be way more fun than I ever imagined, and I cou
ld tell the thousands of Glammers who’d popped in loved it as well. I’m definitely not the most outgoing of our influencer trio, and I could tell that our followers really appreciated being able to talk directly to me, especially given that this fashion collab with Franco is my passion project. I don’t think I’ve ever spoken this much to other people in one day. The whole time, my stomach was in my throat like I was on a roller-coaster twisting and turning and soaring, and by the time I left the feed, I was relishing the sensation.
My heart sings in my chest as a big smile spreads across my face. Adrenaline continues to pulse through my body. The exact details of the stream are admittedly a little hazy because I was so nervous at first, but the whole thing went without a hitch. I couldn’t have hoped it turned out better than it had.
Today has been a great day, one that I desperately needed after the rockiness of the past few.
From the corner of my bed, the phone trills again.
I scoop it up, accepting a Facetime call from my visibly buoyant friends. Kali and Sutton are seated side by side in the back of Boone’s cozy truck. The phone rocks and bobs as they roll down the highway toward San Francisco, though I know they should be getting there any minute. They’d left bright and early, but not before giving me two giant hugs and wishing me the best of luck with the stream. I’d barely slept a wink last night because I was so anxious about making my BFFs proud. Now, I’m almost delirious from both exhaustion and joy.
“Babe!” Sutton said excitedly. “You absolutely rocked that livestream! All the fans’ comments were so excited and happy. I bet the engagement rate was through the roof! I’ve never seen that many comments pour in so fast. Kali and I kept checking to see how it was going. We thought we might have to figure out a way to join in if it was dead, but you kept the conversation flowing like a pro!”
Kali pushes into the shot to nod eagerly, her long, sleek blond hair tumbling over her slender shoulders. “We’re always impressed by you, but you really knocked this out of the park!”
I blush and give them a big smile. “Thanks, guys. I really tried my best!”
“We can tell,” Kali laughs. “You know this means you’re going to have to join in our videos more after this. The Glammers are going to want to see so much more of you now that they got a little taste.”
“I thought about that and I think I’m actually okay with it,” I say, surprising even myself.
“Yay!” my besties both cry exuberantly.
Dragging her sunglasses a little lower on her nose, Sutton’s green eyes gleam playfully. “The real question is, did you enjoy yourself, babe? Because it looked to us like you were having the time of your life.”
“Honestly? I had so much fun,” I say. Sincere enthusiasm ripples through my words and makes my smile widen even more. My cheeks are starting to ache, I’m grinning so much. “I was always so scared of being on camera and saying the wrong thing or coming off plain boring, but it felt a lot more natural than I expected. I was a little flustered in the beginning when I saw how many people were joining in to watch the feed, but I was fine after that.”
“Well, you looked like a natural,” Kali says. She’s always warm and kind, but I really appreciate her assurance right now after doing one of the bravest things in my entire G&G career. “That’s why our Glammers adore you so much. You’re so special, not only to us but to them, too. Sutton and I know how to put on a happy mask even when we’re feeling sad or stressed, but your emotions are genuine and authentic all the time. Our fans pick up on little things like that. They love you, Liv, and so do we!”
“Us, too!” Grayson calls from the front seat suddenly, earning giggles from both Kali and Sutton.
“What Grayson said! Great job, Liv!” Boone chimes in eagerly. “We’ll celebrate the minute we’re back in town in a few days.”
I let out a delighted laugh. “You got it! Anyway, I’ll let you guys go. Enjoy your vacay. Love you guys!”
“Love you, too!” Sutton and Kali respond simultaneously.
After hanging up the phone, I sit up on my bed. Chanel’s gray, fuzzy ears lift and she hops off the oversized pillow where she, Coco, and Georgie had all snuggled up for the duration of the livestream. As soon as the little bunny moves, both the other pets rouse, too. Realizing that I’d finished working, George gives a cheerful bark and climbs to his four paws. Coco leaps gracefully up onto my bed to nuzzle her soft face against my arm. I scoop the sleek kitty up along with Chanel and slide off the bed to plant a kiss on the lab mix’s wet snout. George licks me, tail wagging, while Coco purrs and Chanel snuggles deeper into my arms. Whenever Kali and Sutton leave town or go out for the night, the three pets and I get a whole lot of quality cuddles in.
It’s one of the best feelings in the world, comparable only to the evening when Cash and I had our photo shoot on the beach. I’ve never felt as beautiful as I had in that one moment where he was looking at me through the lens of my camera. Sure, I had to be the center of attention for this G&G livestream, but when Cash’s eyes were my spotlight, I felt like I never wanted the performance to end.
My heart begins to beat faster as I think about the unexpectedly sweet biker who’d taken the time to truly see me. All of those tender things he’d said to me, and I couldn’t even work up the courage to say anything back.
I swallow hard, tears suddenly springing to my eyes.
“What should I do?” I sigh, looking down into Chanel’s beautiful, dark eyes. Her tiny nose twitches one way and then the other as George ducks his head and barks like he’d understood exactly what my predicament was.
“You’re right!” I say.
Setting the animals down, I leap to my feet.
I’d already pushed myself far outside my usual comfort zone by hosting that G&G live. Now it’s time I do something even crazier.
I have to track Cash down before he leaves LA and tell him exactly how I feel.
Life is too short to hide my emotions and thoughts anymore. I’m turning over a new leaf, and it’s one where I wear my heart on my sleeve for all to see.
I only hope it isn’t too late.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Lush palm trees and golden sands fly by in a blur as I drive toward Franco’s Burgers. When I spot the restaurant in the distance, I push the pedal to the metal a little more. I don’t know what I’ll do if I don’t get this last chance to spill my feelings for Cash before he leaves. He might be going away, but I still want to take this opportunity to be courageous. I’ve spent so much of my life hiding how I feel that right now, I’m about to burst at the seams.
Careening into the parking lot, I throw the car into park and leap out. People turn curiously to look at me, some of them gasping in surprise, eyes going wide as I run headlong into the restaurant. Some of the people sitting at the tables snap pictures on their phones and start whispering, and it’s only then that I realize they realize that I’m one of the G&G boss babes. This is the first time that I’ve been recognized on my own without Kali or Sutton by my side.
“We’ve got a star in the house, everybody!” a tall, buff middle-aged man at the counter announces. Franco grins at me as I hurry closer, his dark eyes gleaming.
Nearby, a table was stuffed with leather-clad bikers cheering and whistling.
“We’ve been watching your feed all morning,” Franco explains jovially. Dark haired, he has a full beard and mustache to match. “By the way, I’m thrilled about how you, Kali, and Sutton have been handling this business venture, Liv. You’re topnotch business owners.”
I blush and wave at the crowded tables where everyone is applauding before turning back to Franco.
“Thanks, Franco. We’re just as elated about how it’s turning out, I promise.” I stop and take a deep breath. “Is Cash around? I really need to speak with him. It’s urgent.”
Franco tilts his head and one dark brow lifts up toward his hairline. “Sorry, Liv. My boy has flown the coop.”
My heart plummets.
“He�
�s gone?” I echo feebly.
“Yep. Left a little while ago. Can I give you some vegan chili cheese fries instead?” he offers sympathetically as soon as he notices the shock contorting my face.
Shaking my head, I stumble back and head toward the front door of the restaurant. Instead of making my way to my car when I get outside, I find myself standing there staring down the road instead, like if I look hard enough I can somehow magically teleport the hunky green-eyed biker back.
After finally working up the courage to say what’s in my heart, it’s too late. Cash has left LA and who knows when—or if—he’ll ever be back.
Frustrated tears sting the corners of my eyes. I wipe hard at my face, sniffling once, before I remember that I’ve got his number. I wanted to be able to talk to him face to face, but this will have to do.
I slide my phone from my pocket and quickly pull up Cash’s number in my contacts. I barely lift it to my ear when the line clicks.
“Hey!” he says, sounding surprised. Wind crackles through the line, distorting his speech. “Sorry, I’m on Bluetooth so it might be noisy. Everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine—great actually—except that you’re not here,” I babble before I can help it. I feel myself blush bright red, but I don’t let myself fall into embarrassed silence. “I’m at your dad’s restaurant. I came out here to catch you before you left LA.”
For several throbbing heartbeats, the bike-riding bad-boy is completely quiet. I start to think I’m going to have to suffer the shame of repeating myself but when he finally says something.
“You did?”
“Yes, I did. Listen, Cash, I’ve never been good with words or speaking my mind. Even when it comes to G&G, I always let Kali and Sutton call the shots because I can’t ever convince myself to speak up, but I’m tired of that. I’m tired of being quiet. And I’m tired of being complacent. I have feelings and they deserve to be spoken aloud and heard. I get that now, and I get it because I met you.”