Before Gaia
Page 18
“Gun!” her father shouted, stumbling backward as the father named Oliver began firing off his gun again and again and again. So loud.
“NO!” her mother screeched, running to catch Gaia’s father.
“NO!” Gaia screamed, tugging on her mean father’s hand. But his face had turned evil. It was the ugliest thing Gaia had ever seen.
And suddenly some one or some thing began to pull Gaia backward, farther and farther from her evil father with the gun.
“No!” Gaia howled, desperately trying to flail her body around until she could break free. “Let go of me! Let go!”
There was so much noise all of a sudden. People screaming—everyone at the monument screaming. And explosions everywhere. Giant explosions. They had to be coming from the cannons. And even more cannons that Gaia couldn’t see. Cannons out on the river in big ships, and cannons sticking out from the columns of the stone monument, and cannons aimed down from the roofs of the buildings on Riverside Drive. It was a war. Gaia was in the middle of a war. And her dad was going to be the first one dead. And then her mom would be next. And then Gaia. The whole family. Killed in this war on Riverside Drive and Eighty-ninth Street.
And finally Gaia could see the armies storming in from either side. An army of men in black coming toward her, firing off their guns. And an army of men in gray coming up from behind, firing more guns. Gaia had never seen so many guns. All of them coming together in the center of the marble concourse.
But Gaia didn’t even care about the war anymore or all those explosions and armies. All she cared about now was her father. Not the evil father with the gun. But the father that he was trying to shoot to death. The good father. Gaia had to save the good father. She had to. If she could just break free…
“Daddy!” she screamed, trying to reach out to him. “Let me go!” she howled behind her. “Let me go!”
But a hand came around to her mouth, covering almost her entire face with its tight grip. She could barely even breathe. And all she could do was watch. She stood there, totally unable to move, and watched her evil father aim and fire, again and again, as bullets sprayed across her good father’s side, springs of red blood erupting from his arm as the orange sky seemed to swallow him up.
Save him, Gaia, she ordered herself. Like he would save you. Be a hero like him.
The sweaty hand over her face slipped for a second, but a second was all she needed. That was the moment when she stopped thinking. She stopped thinking and she bit down. Hard. Sinking her teeth deep into the flesh of the hand before her.
He screamed a high-pitched howl of pain straight into her ear, adding to all the unbearable noise, but Gaia didn’t care. She grabbed onto the wrist, stepped back, and flipped his entire body over hers, landing the blurry mass hard on the ground.
And then she took off. She took off like a rocket, launching her tiny frame straight ahead, pinpointing all her focus on that gun. Only that gun.
“Hai!” she screamed, straight from her center, smacking the gun from her evil father’s hand with her flying kick.
She landed on the ground with a roll, jumping back up into fighting stance out of reflex.
“Gaia, come!” her evil father shouted. “We can still make it out of here. Together…”
Gaia wasn’t moving. She only stared at him, narrowing her eyes. And then she relaxed completely, becoming aware of all that was around her, just like it said in the Go Rin No Sho.
“Sweetheart, let’s go!” He reached for her arm to nab her. That’s when she gave him the kick. Just exactly as he’d taught her.
His hand came close enough, and she latched onto his wrist, jabbing her elbow straight into his stomach with every ounce of strength her six-year-old muscles could give. And then like lightning, the right foot shot his chin straight up, snapping back his neck as the leg extended outward. And then she pulled back down on the wrist and threw him down hard against the ground, dropping to her knee with her clenched fist hovering over his face, watching as blood leaked out from his mouth across the cold white marble.
And finally, there was silence. Total silence everywhere.
Gaia stood up slowly and looked all around her. They were all staring now. With their mouths slightly open. All of them. The men in black. And the men in gray. And her mother and her father—her good father—who was bleeding from his arm but alive… and smiling at her with that gleaming look of approval that she loved so very much. That she lived for, really. Gaia had silenced them all.
A moment more and the men in gray began to head back toward Riverside Drive, then the sound of cars screeching away could be heard from behind the trees. Gaia walked toward her mother and her good father as the men in black surrounded her evil father and scraped him up off the ground, but then…
“Gaia!” her mother screamed.
Gaia turned around, poised for another attack, but her evil father made no move to attack her. The only move he was making was to escape. He kicked two of the men in black off him and fell in quickly with the retreating men in gray, who got him past the trees and into one of those cars on Riverside Drive. The cars that were now all fading into the distance.
Gaia turned back to her parents and smiled. But as she looked at them, they began to disappear…. What’s happening? What’s happening to me?
Everything started to get really dim and dark, like God was turning down some big light in the sky.
“Mom…?” she uttered as her legs went wobbly. “Dad…?”
And then she had fallen to her knees. What’s happened to me? Have I been shot?
“Gaia!” her mother screamed, coming closer… touching her head… looking into her eyes. Coming closer but sounding so much farther away. “Mom…? Mommy?”
And then there was nothing but blackness.
2002
And as he looked up at her, his wrinkled face and his torso now covered in bloody bullet holes, her heart did go out to him. In spite of everything.
GAIA
So much of my life has worked in reverse. Most people in the world hate their lives because they’re so afraid. I hate my life because I’m fearless. Most people wake up from sleep and realize that the things they thought were real were just dreams. But I’ve just finally woken up and realized that this thing I thought was a dream… was real.
Not a dream. A memory. A goddamn repressed memory, all this time…
No, I hadn’t been shot. I was just experiencing a blackout for the first time. My father didn’t shoot himself. That was just the twisted way my memory rationalized the insane things I’d seen at age six. I didn’t even know I had an uncle. No one had told me. And those cannons didn’t fire anything. That was just how my six-year-old mind interpreted all that gunfire. And I wasn’t paralyzed. Somebody just held me down. For as long as they could, at least.
But I was right about one thing. The Soldiers’ and Sailors’ Monument might not have been a war zone… but I was standing right smack in the middle of a war. A civil war, not within one country, but within one family. The family that was created when young Tom met the even younger Katia. Jesus, that one day. October 16, 1990. That was the day all of our lives changed for good. And of course, being the idiot I am, I have just now figured out that these transcripts I’ve been reading… they both were recorded on that very same day—one at the CIA, one at the Organization—directly following that nightmare in the center of the Soldiers’ and Sailors’ Monument.
Correction. Not a nightmare. A reality. I’m going to do my best to never confuse the two again.
And now… with that entire repressed memory finally off my back, the rest of that day is finally coming back to me. Everything that happened after my blackout at the monument.
I remember waking up in my mother’s arms. She cradled me as she carried me into this huge metallic elevator. I could see the fear in her eyes. The poor woman had been totally traumatized. I wish I had been conscious enough to let her know I wasn’t afraid. I think that would have made her feel a
lot less frightened.
When we got out of the elevator my mother handed my semiconscious body over to two men in lab coats, promising me with tears in her eyes that everything was going to be all right. But I already knew that. I wasn’t afraid. She had to have known that by then.
The two men placed me on a huge metallic rolling stretcher and took me into a room with even more strange gadgets. They started to poke me and prod me with needles, and it was so damn boring that at some point I just fell back asleep.
So now I remember everything there is to remember. But that doesn’t mean I know everything there is to know. But there are only a few pages left in the transcripts Nikolai left for me. So I must be close.
CIA File # NIR-P4855J [Incident Report]
Rating: CLASSIFIED
Transcript Recorded—10/17/1990 03:42:06
Administrating: Agent John M. Kent
Reporting: Agent Thomas Moore
MOORE: I just hope these tests will finally tell us what we need to know about Gaia.
KENT: Well, we’ve got the best people working on her right now, Tom. The best.
MOORE: I think if we can understand it, then we’ll know better how to protect her. Not just from all the sick twisted criminals of the world… like my brother. But from herself. Although she sure did an incredible job of protecting us. Gaia saved my life today.
KENT: You’re a lucky man, Tom. And I wouldn’t worry too much about your brother. I’m sure the Organization will be sending him away for a long, long time after today’s disaster. Hopefully at least another six years.
MOORE: You know… once we’re finished with all of Gaia’s tests… I think it’s time to move my family out of the city for a while. Maybe to the Berkshires. Someplace quiet. Someplace where I can just focus on my family. Focus on keeping Katia happy and keeping Gaia out of trouble.
KENT: I think that would be a very good idea, Tom.
MOORE: Maybe my brother has finally had enough of this war. Maybe now that Gaia has finally rejected him, he’ll leave us alone. Maybe we’re finally safe.
END OF TRANSCRIPT
ORG File # POCC-95547
4Z RESTRICTED
Recorded—10/17/1990 4:27:24
NO ACCESS FOR SUB-3-LEVEL PERSONNEL
MOORE: I’m telling you, Yuri. If Nikolai didn’t have such goddamn sweaty fingers! If he had just held on to her a little longer, we would have her right now.
NIKOLAI: This is nonsense! I already told you, Oliver, I knew you were training the girl, but you did not make it clear to me what she was capable of. How could I possibly have been expecting anything like that?
YURI: Yes, Moore, I do not understand. You haven’t been clear in your reports. Explain to me how a six-year-old girl jumps directly into a hail of gunfire without the slightest hesitation.
MOORE: I don’t know yet, sir, but believe me, I am going to find out.
YURI: You will find out nothing, Moore. Because I am officially removing you from this operation, do you understand? I am sending you back to Russia, where you will be unable to completely sabotage yet another operation.
MOORE: What? What are you talking about? Why?
YURI: Why? After today’s pathetic failure you need even to ask why? Because you have been an utter disappointment, Moore, that’s why. The CIA was right to demote you. You are worthless! I send you in to terminate Enigma and retrieve my daughter and granddaughter and instead you nearly get my entire family line killed?
MOORE: No! Absolutely not. I refuse, Yuri. I refuse to be reassigned. Gaia may be your granddaughter, but she is also my daughter.
YURI: You don’t even know this for sure!
MOORE: Yes. Yes, I do. I know it, Yuri. I know it in my heart.
YURI: Well, you are still off this operation, Moore. Your ticket to Moscow is waiting for you. I’m not giving you any more chances to accidentally kill my daughter.
MOORE: No. You can’t remove me from this operation. You don’t even see how futile your mission is! Katia is never going to love you again. She doesn’t want to have anything to do with you, don’t you see that? But I still have a chance to win back Gaia. I still have a chance to win back her trust.
YURI: You’re a fool, Moore. An utter fool. You always have been, and you always will be. We knew it from the moment Nikolai fished you out of that tragic little bar. You were only meant to be a pawn, you idiot.
MOORE: You are the fool here, Yuri! And quite honestly I think you have outlived your usefulness. In fact, I think I will be taking over your entire operation, Yuri. All of it.
YURI: What on earth are you talking about…? What the hell are you doing, you fool? You would dare to point a gun at me?
NIKOLAI: Oliver, for God’s sake put the gun down. Have you lost your mind?
MOORE: He’s the one who’s lost his mind. I believe it’s called senility.
NIKOLAI: Put it down, Oliver.
YURI: Pathetic. This is your most pathetic display to date.
MOORE: Yuri, I’ve grown so tired of listening to you! I’m taking over this operation as of today. And you. I am putting you out of your misery!
NIKOLAI: Oliver, don’t—
[Shots disrupting sound signal—tape time delay]
NIKOLAI: An ambulance! We need an ambulance!
MOORE: More like a hearse.
NIKOLAI: What the hell are you doing, Oliver? What the hell—
MOORE: Nikolai, I need to know now. Are you with me or against me?
NIKOLAI: [Pause] Put… put the gun down. Please, Oliver. Put it down.
MOORE: With me or against me, Nikolai? It’s a simple enough question.
NIKOLAI: With. With you, Oliver. Of course.
MOORE: Good. Then it’s official…. [Pause] Attention, all Organization agents and employees. I am hereby running this underground organization. Full and complete command. A monarchy of sorts. If Tom thinks that he is the goddamn king of the world, then I will happily take on the role of king of the underworld. Call me whatever you wish. Satan, Beelzebub… [Pause] No… Loki. The Norse god of the underworld. You can call me Loki for now. But know this: In the end, after all is said and done, even my worst actions, even my most despicable deeds… they will all be performed for one reason and one reason only… to set things right.
END OF TRANSCRIPT
World of Pain
THE TRANSCRIPTS HAD ENDED. GAIA wasn’t sure how long she stood there just listening to air until the disc stopped altogether. She was sick now. So very sick to her stomach.
She had never quite been able to tell tell just how deranged her uncle had become, but now… now she knew for sure. Now she had the discs to prove it. When she thought about it for another moment, she realized just how terribly sad this all really was. Yuri and Oliver. Two tragic men, destroying everyone and everything around them—causing such a world of pain just to regain some kind of loving family that they’d never have.
Well, on second thought, it would have been sad. If they hadn’t been such sick murdering sons of bitches.
There was still one last note at the end of the Organization transcript. A piece of white notepaper even smaller than the last. Because Nikolai’s note was so simple this time:
in the tomb. Now. We’ll only have minutes.
Yes. Yes, finally! This was it. This was Gaia’s prize for enduring this excruciating journey through her past. It was just as he’d promised in his very first note. Once he was confident that he’d shaken Loki’s surveillance, he’d deliver her all the remaining information in those dossiers. All of it.
Gaia was already sprinting for the ominous monument, leaping the cannons just like she’d done as a child, taking the wide marble steps in one leap, and then she was there. Standing at the large black steel door of the monument itself—the door she’d never even wanted to look into. But as she peered through the filthy old window of that door, she could see him sitting on a dark wooden bench on the far left. An old and weathered man, with graying red hair and a tattered old
tweed jacket with suede elbow patches. He patted a dirty handkerchief to his forehead again and again. He looked so old. Absolutely exhausted. Spent. But it was what sat next to him that interested Gaia the most. A thick black duffel bag.
There it was. Everything. All the missing truths. All the missing facts of Gaia’s life that were still to be learned and understood. She’d made it to the promised land.
She creaked open the door and stepped inside.
Not knowing how to react to seeing the redheaded weasel in person. He’d meant so many different things to Gaia. He’d been such a menace to her mother, but he was also the reason her parents had met. He was practically responsible for turning her uncle against her father… but then again… all of her uncle’s worst crimes were the things he had done on his own, against all the Organization’s wishes. Most of all now… he was just the man who had given her back her past.
And as she walked closer to him, he actually began to smile in spite of his obvious exhaustion and supreme anxiety.
As soon as Gaia opened her mouth to speak to him, gunshots began to sound off like two tons of firecrackers inside this reasonably small echo chamber.
Nikolai’s eyes widened with terror as Gaia dropped and rolled to her left, trying to spot the hidden gunman. Before she’d had another thought, Nikolai had taken off out of the monument, sprinting for the concourse in spite of his old age and the heavy black duffel bag dragging at his side. Gaia rolled to the door and jumped up, leaping down the marble steps and following him.
“Nikolai, wait!” she hollered after him as his jogging became more and more labored toward the center of the marble concourse. “Wait for me. I can protect you! Just stop running!”
Nikolai froze at the center of the concourse, doubling over for a moment and laboring to catch his breath. He was simply too old for a chase.
“Gaia!” he called to her, gasping. “Now. We must do this n—”