Her bent head lifted to give him a rueful smile. “Yes.” Her blue eyes were clear.
She was such a beautiful lady.
“What did your father want?”
“I’m maid of honor for my best friend’s wedding, and he’s not pleased with the idea.”
“Security?”
“He just likes to be the one in control, that’s all. Her fiancé is the grandson of a former governor. There may be some press in attendance. He thinks it’s a bad risk.”
“What does Dave think?”
“It can be managed. There is no easy way to trace Sara Walsh to Sara Richman, and the picture will only make the local papers.”
“Get me a wedding invitation.”
“What?”
“I’d like to meet your best friend.”
Sara grinned. “I can guarantee Ellen would like to meet you, but I hardly think a wedding invitation is necessary.”
Adam gently squeezed her shoulder. “Then how about a quiet restaurant where you and I can have dinner with Ellen and her fiancé?”
He was surprised at her sudden stillness. She pulled away from him and rose to her feet, moving to the far side of the room before turning. “We won’t be seeing each other after tonight. It just felt wrong not to at least explain my reasons after what happened the other morning.” The formality was back in her voice. “Adam, you are a public figure. You are noticed wherever you go. I cannot afford to be around you.”
He got up. “There are many quiet places away from the public where security is not a problem.”
“We have no future. You have to accept that. I have no choice in this. If you continue to push it, Dave will simply take me from level two protection to level three, and not only will you never see me again, I’ll be stifled to death by their presence. At level four, not even my father will know where I am. Don’t make this difficult for me, Adam. Please.”
Accept it? Hardly. “Do you like me?” He moved away to pick up his coffee.
“What?”
He looked over at her. “It’s a simple question. Do you like me?”
“Yes.”
“Then quit being so defeatist before we’ve even explored our options. We’re going to get to know each other, Sara.”
“And if I don’t want to get to know you?”
He walked across the room to stand in front of her. The hand under her chin was infinitely gentle. “You do.” He leaned down and kissed her, felt her tremble. “Find a movie you want to watch from your collection. I’ll be back with more coffee and the required popcorn.”
He let the kitchen door swing closed behind him and stopped. He tried to collect his thoughts. It was hitting him too fast to absorb, like calling a play and realizing as the ball was snapped that he was getting blitzed by four defensive linemen.
Sara. What am I going to do with you? You are the most intriguing woman I’ve ever met, with a history so complex it’s going to take months to understand all the layers, let alone all the facts.
He would give anything at this point to be a decent psychologist rather than a former professional quarterback. There had been rules to that game; there were no rules to this one.
What had happened to her during those nine days? Did he dare ask her any questions? If he avoided the subject would she think he didn’t care? If he did, would he be reopening old wounds?
“I didn’t talk for two-and-a-half years.” Her simple statement covered a wealth of implications. She had felt so threatened she had withdrawn inside for two-and-a-half years. He didn’t know if he was ready to hear what had happened during those nine days even if she had the courage at this point to tell him.
He worked a little more on the timeline of events and hated what it told him. She had been kidnapped at age six, nine days later it had been over. Her parents divorced when she was seven, and by her eighth birthday, her mother had married Frank Victor, leaving her brother behind in London. Sara had not spoken a word from the time she was rescued until she was eight-and-a-half. She would never have been able to cry and talk and express the pain of all those losses.
Was that why she spoke with so much affection when she mentioned Frank? Had he been the one who finally gave her the courage to speak again? Was Frank the one who had finally made her feel safe? “Lord, I need wisdom. Desperately,” he whispered. He rarely felt this uncertain about what he should do.
He fixed the popcorn, cheating by finding a bag he could fix in the microwave, then refilled their coffee mugs.
“So what did you choose?” he asked, rejoining her.
She had two videos in her hand. “Your options.”
He tilted his head to read the titles. Star Trek or M*A*S*H.
“These are the early M*A*S*H episodes with Trapper John, and the Star Trek tape has the classics like the Tribbles episode.”
“There’s no contest.” He met her eyes and saw the disappointment. “We’re watching both tapes.”
Her disappointment was replaced with a look of relief and a giggle…. A giggle.
“Do that again.”
“What?”
“Giggle.”
“I can’t giggle on demand,” she replied, her face turning red.
“It was a delightful sound. Try.”
“Adam, give me my coffee and go sit down,” she said, trying to hide what had become a grin.
With a sigh he did as he was told. She put in the Star Trek tape and brought back the remote with her.
She sat on her side of the couch, something Adam let last as long as it took for him to set down his coffee, reach over, and lift her to the middle of the couch next to him. “That’s better.”
She made a face at him. “Enjoy being the director for a night because we won’t be seeing each other after tonight.”
“Quiet, Sara. I’m watching TV.”
He heard her drawn-out sigh. A few minutes later she shifted her weight and made herself comfortable against him, trapping his arm behind her back. Adam didn’t mind a bit. She was light and warm and smelled of honey shampoo.
He reached back to shut off the end table light reflecting on the TV screen. She flung her hand across his chest to grasp his arm and stop him, scattering popcorn in her wake. “No, leave it on. Please.”
There was panic in her voice and certainly panic in her eyes. He slowly lowered his arm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think.”
She wasn’t afraid of the dark—she was petrified of it. Even in her own home with the TV and the hall light on, she still panicked at the thought of the light being shut off.
She buried her head against his shirt and fought to regain control. Hating the fear he had triggered by not thinking, he tentatively soothed his hand over her shoulder.
He felt when she accepted that she was safe, and he didn’t say a word as she carefully moved back and began to pick up the spilled popcorn. When she started to say something, he stopped her words with a finger to her lips. “No. No apologies. No explanations. I don’t need them tonight.” Her fear of the dark was something they were going to talk about in the light of a bright, sunny day, at the right time, and in the right place. This wasn’t it.
She hugged him. It surprised him, and from the look on her face, astounded her.
He put the cup back in her hand. “Finish your coffee.”
“So, have you two been good tonight?” A voice from the doorway made Sara lean her head back against the sofa to look behind her.
“Stuff a sock in it, Dave.” She had to stifle a yawn. She had never been so comfortable in her life. Somewhere at the start of the second tape she had cradled her hands against Adam’s chest and rested her head against his shoulder, turning him into a big, warm pillow. He had tugged a throw cover across her feet. There was no question she would love to enjoy more peaceful evenings like this.
She knew they couldn’t continue to see each other, but that fact had only intensified her desire to ensure she enjoyed the one evening she did have with Adam all the more.
&nb
sp; Dave laughed and walked into the room, dropping into the seat near the couch.
Sara watched Dave remove a holstered gun from his side and set it on the end table. Only one. Normally he carried a second behind his back.
“Did you and Linda have a good time?” she asked, feeling tired.
“Dinner was worth it.” Dave shared an amused look with his sister.
“If you’re going to date someone who loves the arts, you’ll have to widen your horizons a bit.”
She didn’t bother to move away from Adam’s side. She was too comfortable, and her brother could draw his own conclusions. She was sure she would hear his opinion later.
“All quiet tonight?” Dave asked.
“Yes.”
Adam could tell that Dave’s relief at Sara’s answer was genuine. It was plain the man didn’t trust someone else to protect her—and he immediately understood the feeling.
“I see she’s already got you watching her favorite tapes.” Dave met Adam’s gaze with a challenge in his eyes.
“Oh, I can’t say I’ve minded.” Adam watched Dave’s eyes narrow. Good. Her brother was more than playing games about this protection business. Sara did not need someone who was more words than actions.
Sara shifted in his arms to look up at him, a puzzled look on her face. She didn’t understand the byplay of two guys defining turf boundaries. That was okay; she didn’t need to understand. She still thought they wouldn’t be seeing each other after tonight.
There would be time to correct that impression another day.
“It’s time for me to leave and time for you to go to bed properly,” he told her, enjoying the way she blushed. If Dave wasn’t sitting there, he bet she would’ve been willing to come back with a one-liner of her own and put him in his place, but for now she simply pushed herself off him, covering a yawn she couldn’t prevent. “Sorry, Adam. I don’t know why I’m so tired.”
Dave chuckled. “I do. You were working until 4 A.M., remember?”
“Would you believe I actually forgot that book for a few hours?” She rubbed her eyes. “I don’t think that has ever happened at this late stage of editing.”
“When is it due to the editor?” Dave asked.
“I told Helen she would have it in her hands by Tuesday afternoon. I’ve already got plane tickets for Judy to hand deliver it.”
“Sara, are you crazy? That’s only another four days.”
“I want this book finished and out of my hands. I know what I committed to.”
“Do you normally hand deliver your children’s books?” Adam asked.
“Sometimes.” Sara and Dave exchanged a look.
Something was not being said. Adam didn’t push. “Come on; walk me to the front door.”
Sara escorted him to the front door and deactivated the ground’s security. “I’m glad you came for dinner.”
He brushed back her hair. “I enjoyed it a great deal. And if you ever change your mind, all you have to do is call. My invitation for coffee or dinner is still open.”
She tentatively fingered the lapel of his jacket. “I’m sorry, Adam. It’s not possible.”
His fingers entwined with hers. “Someday it will be. Think about it. We can work something out.” He bent and kissed her. It was something he rarely did on a first date, but the possibility of its being the last one was lingering too close in the back of his mind. “Good night.”
The beach was deserted. Adam walked along the shore, deep in thought. His dog loped ahead of him, exploring.
The night was comfortable. The moon was full, casting a bright trail across the lake water. Adam typically enjoyed the view. Tonight it barely registered. He had a problem to solve.
His normal approach was not going to work in this situation. Sara wasn’t going to accept an invitation for a date; she wasn’t likely to be more forthcoming with details of her past. She didn’t know him well enough to trust him.
Adam picked up a shell on the beach and rubbed it with his fingers. Trust was going to be hard to earn. The complexity of Sara’s past stood like an insurmountable mountain. Like the fine lines in the shell he held, her past was layered deep.
Her past had made a pearl. Rather than break her, the pressure had made something beautiful.
He sighed.
He could walk away. It was what she wanted. He certainly understood her reasoning. The complications her security needs introduced could destabilize any hope of having a relationship.
He had never been one to walk away from a challenge. He liked her. She had a class about her that was much more than just her appearance; it went deep into her character. He liked how she expressed herself, how she related to her brother.
There was complexity to her. He was tired of shallow people. Over the last decade he had seen all he wanted to of fame, the gloss, the surface. He didn’t want that for his future.
Sara held the promise of something real. Her life forced her to live with carefully chosen priorities. She couldn’t afford to live at the surface in her relationships. As he had listened to her talk about her brother and her friend Ellen, he had heard the depth she had established in those relationships. He wanted to be part of that circle. He wanted a chance to really know her.
What did he have to offer her? Others were attracted to his fame, his accomplishments. To Sara, they were real obstacles. His wealth, which might help with the security, was not a plus either. Her family came from old wealth. She didn’t lack for what money could buy.
He knew she would gladly trade that wealth for what she didn’t have: a relationship with her father, freedom.
Adam paused.
Besides her brother, she didn’t have any close family. She didn’t have freedom of movement. She didn’t have the luxury of taking a dog for a walk on the beach late at night.
He had a great family. The fact he had lived in the public eye for so long had also taught him some invaluable lessons about how to ensure privacy when he needed it.
Sara didn’t realize the extent to which her life would be better with him in it. So how did he convince her to take the chance?
Dave.
Adam’s eyes narrowed. Yes, Dave would be the key. Nothing happened around Sara without his security coverage.
Could he turn that to his advantage?
Lord, I want to get to know her. What is the best way to approach this? I’m only going to get one chance.
Dave had finally gone upstairs to bed shortly before midnight. Sara had assured him she was going to be up in a few minutes and that she would set the security codes.
She pulled the throw cover down across her feet again and curled up on the couch, the room as dark as she could tolerate.
She wiped at tears slipping down her cheeks.
This was the third time in her life a good man had crossed her path who could be both a good friend and possibly more. And for one reason or another, she had to stop it before the relationship could form.
Lord, why didn’t You let me die in that root cellar, too, if I’m to remain a captive to that event for the rest of my life?
The grief tasted bitter.
She didn’t know if she even would want a relationship with a public figure like Adam, but she would at least like to make the choice.
If it were just a risk to herself, she might consider it. But the risk to those around her? to Dave? to Adam?
She knew what the FBI experts said. The second kidnapper was obsessed with the crime, with her. If he found her, if he realized there was someone important in her life, that person would become an immediate target of his jealous insanity. To have a relationship with Adam would put a bull’ seye on his back.
She didn’t try to stop the tears. There were times it was good to cry. She wished she had that stupid teddy bear Dave had given her when she was ten. It was packed in the suitcase on the plane, waiting for the next time she got yanked at a moment’s notice out of life as she knew it. It would be good to have that bear to cuddle. She wiped at
her tears with her sleeve.
She shouldn’t be whining. It had been a great night. It was what she asked God for and He delivered it beyond her expectations. Dinner came together well. She had been nervous about that. Adam handled most of the shocks she threw at him with tact. The end of the evening, curled up beside him on the couch, was a memory she wouldn’t forget.
She had a rose to press in her scrapbook.
The tears started again and she furiously rubbed them away. Enough already. She couldn’t change what she lived with.
“The Lord is my rock and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer. “ The words from Psalm 144 resonated with a strong reassurance. She tried to get her perspective back to match God’s. His was bigger than hers. There had to be a safe way through this turmoil. There was always a path when she looked hard enough.
Lord, I can cling to Your Word as I have done all my life, but must this burden be forever? Will it ever lift?
Adam was not used to hearing no. It was doubtful he would go away peacefully. Sara winced. She wanted to spend more time with him. He was going to be persistent, and she had to find the courage to do what was right. Say no. Keep saying no. The dangers were real. He was too public a figure to be near. So what did she do? Go to the ranch for a few months and work from there?
Thinking about security was part of how she had to make decisions.
She wished she understood what God had planned. It would be so nice to have a normal life instead of this peculiar one that defied description.
She wished God didn’t demand so much from her.
CHAPTER 6
How long, Sara?” She was unpacking the fourth box of books Dave had carried in for her, restocking the shelter’s supply of books so the kids who came could take a favorite book with them when they left. Dave’s question caused her to pause. “Thirty minutes? I’ll read a couple stories.”
He nodded. “No longer.”
Sara knew Dave hated the fact she had chosen this ministry in which to work, but he understood why, so he let her come. She had spent a lifetime trying to understand why God allowed violence; here she could both offer what she had learned and learn from others who had been forced to take the same journey.
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