by E. L. Todd
“Does she like this guy?”
I shrugged. “She doesn’t know him very well. But he’s super-sexy, so what’s there not to like? They’re both recently divorced, so they have a lot in common. At least, I assume they’ll have a lot in common once they start talking. When I was over there, all they cared about was the game. I bailed to give them some privacy.”
Finn shut the box and shoved it into the fridge. Then he left his stuff behind on the table and headed to the stairs.
“How was work?”
He kept going, like he hadn’t heard a word I said.
“Finn?”
He reached the top of the stairs and kept going.
“Geez…he’s moody.”
3
Pepper
“Well, that wasn’t much of a game…” I turned down the volume on the remote. “Thirteen to three…snooze fest.”
He chuckled and set his empty bottle on the coffee table. “Yeah. But the beauty of football is that it’s on two days a week, sometimes three.”
“Very true.”
“Well, thanks for having me over.” He didn’t rise to his feet and head to the door. He stayed on his end of the couch, subtly glancing at me from time to time.
“Yeah, of course.”
Silence stretched for a while, like he had something to say but couldn’t spit it out. “I’d like to ask you out, but I don’t think I’m ready for that. It’s just too soon, you know? Now that my ex is taking things slow…” He shook his head, exhaling in bitterness.
“Nasty divorce?”
“A bit. But she cheated, so I think I had every right to be nasty.”
“Oh…I’m sorry. How long were you married?”
“Three years.”
“That’s ironic. Same with me.”
“I hope your husband didn’t cheat. He’d be stupid to cheat on a woman as beautiful as you.”
I couldn’t stop myself from making a sarcastic laugh. “Look at you. She’s definitely stupid.”
He shrugged. “She blindsided me. I didn’t see it coming. I thought everything was fine…”
“That seems to be how it happens. Same with me.”
“And then I caught her sucking my best friend’s dick at the foot of our bed.” He shook his head. “I put him in the hospital, and I scared the shit out of her.”
“Damn…a double betrayal.”
“Yeah…so I’m gonna be messed up for a while.”
“And you have every right to be. I’m not looking for a relationship right now either. I’ve been divorced for almost a year now, but the idea of jumping into a new relationship doesn’t sound appealing. I was seeing this guy for a while, wanting something purely physical, but he kept wanting something more…and it blew up in my face.”
He turned to me, his green eyes focused on my face. “May I ask why your marriage ended?”
I had to get used to telling people. I shouldn’t feel ashamed about it. “He realized he was gay.”
“Ooh…that’s rough.”
“It was actually Colton. We’re really good friends and still have a strong relationship. It took a while to get there, but it happened.”
“Wow…that must have been hard.”
“In the beginning. But like I said, it gets better. I promise.”
“I’ll hold on to that.” He finished the last of his beer before he looked at me. “I’m not looking for a lay or a girlfriend right now. But I am looking for a friend. Maybe we can hang out? I might post a few pictures of us on my social media accounts just to make my ex jealous…but that’s the extent of it.”
I laughed at his humor. “Yeah, that would be nice. I love sports, bowling, and of course, eating.”
“What a coincidence, I love eating too. It looks like we’re going to get along pretty well.”
On Thursday evening, I opened the door and came face-to-face with Finn. It was a cold evening, so he wore a dark blue jacket over his gray V-neck. Most of his ink was covered, with the exception of a few images that stretched across his chest toward his neck. He looked at me in greeting, like that was more sufficient than saying a few words.
He’d insisted on picking me up, so I locked the door behind me, and we walked off together. We made it to his truck, got inside, and then drove to the mall where the store was located.
“How was work?” I asked, breaking the tense silence with small talk. Sometimes when I was around Finn, it seemed like he hated me. Other times, it seemed like he couldn’t live without me. There was no in-between with this man. It was just one extreme to the next.
“Fine.” He pulled into a parking spot and killed the engine. “It was busy. I had to stay an hour late because there were so many patients.”
“That’s nice of you.”
“Sometimes we have to put in extra work for the greater good. Otherwise, those patients would keep waiting, and then new patients would be waiting longer. It would turn into a crisis.”
“It’s good that you see the big picture.”
“The unfortunate truth is we don’t have enough doctors, so the ones who are working have to compensate.”
“I didn’t know that.”
We left the truck and walked into the store. He barely looked around before he turned to me. “Work your magic, baby.”
When he’d first called me by that nickname, it was rough on the skin and intimate on the heart. But now, he’d been calling me that for so long that I was used to it. I couldn’t imagine him calling me by my actual name.
I looked at the different plate options and ignored the ones I liked, the classy ones with red roses printed on the rim. His kitchen was dark colors with granite countertops. I looked through the selection until I found a plate collection in the most beautiful hue of gray. “What about this?”
“You’re the expert here.” He stood beside me, smelling like a hot shower.
“But do you like it?”
“I like anything as long as I can eat off it.”
When he was this close to me, I felt my hair stand on end. His scent entered my nose, and I was aware of how close we were to each other, like an engaged couple registering for their special day. “Well, that was easy.”
“I’m not a picky guy.”
“I’ve noticed…” I moved to the silverware next and looked through the selections before I found something that would match. I felt his blue eyes drill into my body, that scorching sensation as all-consuming as fire. I looked up and met his look.
He didn’t look away. He held the intimate expression like he wasn’t the least bit scared to share his intensity with me. He didn’t care if anyone else was watching. He didn’t care whether it made me comfortable or uncomfortable.
This friendship was becoming more strained by the day.
I cleared my throat. “What do you think of these?” I turned my gaze to the utensils, needing to break the connection first.
“Whatever you want, baby.” He drifted away and headed to the appliance section, like he knew I needed space after the way he’d suffocated me with his gaze. That man was the most intense person on the planet. He could be equally threatening and comforting at the same time.
I picked out a few other things, and when I went to join him, I saw a pretty woman talking to him in front of the toasters. She wore a low-cut top, fuck-me heels, and bright red lipstick that every guy imagined smeared across his cock. Jealousy raged through me at the way she stood so close to him, at the way she was clearly hitting on him.
But I had no right to feel anything.
This man wasn’t mine. He would never be mine.
He would always be my ex’s brother.
So I turned away and gave him privacy. I went to look at the blenders, even though I’d never seen him make smoothies.
A few minutes later, he appeared at my side. “I never use blenders.”
“What about a food processor?”
“No.” His eyes moved along the shelf of selections. “All I have left that I need
is a knife set.”
“Well, I’m not the best choice for picking out stuff like that, so you might be a better fit.”
He walked over to the large knives that were used for heavy-duty cutting. He examined them with his hands in his pockets, his eyes roaming over the different descriptions.
“Got a date for tonight?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking the question, from letting my jealousy dictate my actions. I wished I could take it back the second I spat those words out.
“She’s not my type.”
I raised an eyebrow. “First Stella and now this girl… Beautiful women aren’t your type? You just said you weren’t picky.”
“I’m not picky.”
“Then why aren’t you going to go out with her?”
He turned to me, his eyes cold like frost on the lawn first thing in the morning. “Because I don’t want to. That’s why.” He slightly pivoted his body so we were face-to-face. He bent his neck so he could bring his face closer to mine, let those blue eyes eat me alive. He held the stance for a long time, not backing down despite the heat rising between us.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and felt the air leave my lungs. I’d pressured him about this woman because I didn’t want him to see her—and he knew that. Our feelings were so obvious to each other that it felt idiotic to pretend otherwise. I wanted this man to be my friend, but that was impossible. My fingers ached to dig into his hair, to feel that powerful body and tug it closer to mine. I wanted to kiss him and never stop, be naked and sweaty. I didn’t just want this man for a night, a night of good sex and endless orgasms. I wanted him just to have him, to feel his strong heartbeat against mine.
He was the first to pull away. “I’ll get this set. Let’s go.”
The back of his truck was loaded with everything he’d bought, and the drive home back to my apartment was long, quiet, and awkward. The radio wasn’t even on so we just sat in silence.
Why did I have to say anything? Why couldn’t I keep my stupid mouth shut?
Why did I have to care about this man at all?
Every day I had to remind myself who he was—my ex-husband’s brother.
If there was any man in the world who was off-limits—it was him.
But it didn’t change the way I felt. It didn’t eliminate the gnawing feeling in my gut.
I looked out the window and watched my apartment come into view. He parked the truck then killed the engine.
“With all your stuff in the back, it’s probably better if you don’t walk me to my door.”
He stared at me with that same look of annoyance. “All that shit can be replaced. You can’t.” He got out of the truck.
Why did he have to say things like that? Things that made me want him more. I got out of the truck and walked up the stairs to my floor. We headed to my door just as Damon stepped out of his apartment, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt like he was about to go out.
Damon’s eyes lit up once he saw me. “It’s my favorite neighbor. What are you up to?”
“My friend just got a new house, so we went shopping for the essentials.”
Finn looked at me, like he didn’t appreciate the way I’d introduced him.
“Sorry, this is Finn. Finn, this is my new neighbor, Damon.”
Damon shook his hand. “Nice to meet you. I’m sure your new place is going to look great.”
All Finn did was nod in response.
“He’s actually Colton’s older brother,” I explained, even though that information wasn’t relevant.
“Oh, so brother-in-law,” Damon said. “I mean, former brother-in-law.”
I never thought of Finn with that title, but it was the truth. He was my brother by marriage at one point—and I wanted to sleep with him. “Where are you off to?”
“Going to a friend’s place,” he said. “But maybe we should get together for the game this weekend.”
“Yeah, that would be cool.”
Damon waved before he walked off. “I’ll catch you later, then.” He walked away.
Finn turned around and watched him go until he was out of sight.
Now the tension increased tenfold.
I’d just gotten upset when I saw a beautiful woman try to take him home. He probably didn’t like my new handsome neighbor, a man who had access to me any time he wanted. I spotted the anger in his eyes, so I felt the compulsion to say something. “We’re just friends…”
Finn stared at me long and hard, never blinking.
“He just got divorced, so he’s not looking for anything right now.”
“And you asked?”
“No,” I said quickly. “He said he wanted to ask me out but wasn’t ready for it. I told him I wasn’t ready for anything either.” Even though I was totally ready for this if it were a possibility. The past wouldn’t seem relevant at all, and I would invite this man to my bed—and beg him to stay forever. “So we decided to be friends…since we have a lot in common.”
Finn kept up his stare.
I didn’t owe this man an explanation, but I felt the need to explain I wasn’t seeing anyone, that I didn’t just break up with Jax and was then jumping into bed with some other guy. Not that it mattered…but it mattered to me.
The only way I could stop that stare was if I turned away. I grabbed my key and unlocked the door just so I could do that, get this man’s eyes off me. Once I faced the door, I released the air I was holding in my lungs. The door swung inward then I turned back around. “Well…goodnight.” Were we going to have another embrace on the doorstep, affection that belonged between lovers rather than friends?
He stepped closer to me then leaned his head down until our foreheads were touching. His arms didn’t circle me like last time. Instead, he just stood in front of me, our heads close together. “Goodnight, baby.”
This was definitely not friendly. This was definitely not platonic. What existed between us was so hot and fiery that my internal temperature was always a hundred and twenty degrees. Instead of things getting easier, they just got harder. “Finn…this has to stop.” I didn’t want to be the kind of person that betrayed my best friend. I didn’t want to be the woman who came between two brothers. I wanted to be the loyal and honest person I’d been my whole life. But when temptation stared me in the face like this, I struggled to resist.
His hand slid into the back of my hair, and he tilted my chin up to meet his gaze. “I haven’t kissed you. I haven’t invited you to bed.” His hand cupped my cheek as he looked into my gaze, his blue eyes mesmerizing.
“But this is worse…because all I want to do is kiss you and go to bed.”
He closed his eyes for a moment, the words making him throb. “I control the things I can. But I can’t control the way I feel. I won’t apologize for it.” He pressed his lips to my forehead and kissed me before he stepped away. He didn’t look at me again before he walked off, leaving me standing still and treasuring that innocent kiss.
I approached the table and found Colton’s mother sitting there, dressed in a blue blazer with a white top underneath. Her shoulder-length hair was perfectly styled, like she’d just gone to the beauty parlor that afternoon.
She rose to greet me and enveloped me in a motherly hug. “Hey, sweetheart. You look wonderful.”
“Thank you.” I hugged her back, loving her the way a girl would love her mother. I didn’t appreciate the way she’d behaved weeks ago, but she’d always been so kind to me that her tantrum didn’t change my opinion of her.
We sat down, ordered drinks and appetizers, and then started talking about the biggest event in our lives.
“I wish I’d known you two were getting a divorce, sweetheart. I would have been there for you.”
“I know…it was really hard in the beginning. After we signed our divorce papers, it took me three months away from Colton to finally be at peace again. I was hurt and angry with him for a while.”
“As you had every right to be.” It was amazing how she spoke to me as a moth
er, as if Colton weren’t actually her son. She could love both of us equally and separately. “This has been so difficult for us. It doesn’t matter to us if Colton is gay, straight, or a giraffe, but losing you is just unbearable. I should have known you were too good to be true.”
“Well, you’ll never lose me. Colton and I are still best friends, and I’ll always be around.”
“Until you get married and start a family of your own—and that’s perfectly okay.”
“Wouldn’t my husband be part of the family too?” I asked. “I could never marry someone who didn’t accept my relationship with Colton. That’s a requirement to be in a relationship with me.”
“That’s sweet.” She smiled at me.
“And Colton will get married someday. I won’t be your daughter-in-law, but you will have another son. And I’m sure he’ll be great.”
“Yes…eventually. Right now, all I can think about is what we’re losing, not what we’ll gain in the future.”
I tried to be understanding because all of this was new to her. Colton and I had had almost a full year to get used to the changes in our lives, but she’d only had a few weeks. “Are you going to talk to Colton soon? He’s still upset about the way you left things.”
“Yes, of course.” She sipped her iced tea. “It’s just been hard. I didn’t mean to blow up at him the way I did. I was just so upset by the way you were hurt in all of this. You’re a daughter to me, and I’m protective of you.”
“I know…”
“That must have been so hard for you. And if he had any notion that he felt that way, he should have told you. He shouldn’t have waited until all this time had passed. It’s unacceptable.”
“It hurt in the beginning, but I’m in a good place now. Honestly, I wouldn’t trade our time together for anything, so you don’t need to be angry with him.”
Her eyes softened. “See? This is why I love you so much. You’re so good, you know? Such a kind heart that sees the best in people.”
“I see the best in Colton because that’s all there is to see. You really should talk to him soon. He’s hurting and needs love and acceptance right now.”