by E. L. Todd
His eyes shifted back and forth slightly as he absorbed the question. He didn’t blink or turn away, continuing to face me head on. “No.”
“No…as in you don’t wear condoms?” The disappointment flooded through me. Finn seemed too intelligent to risk catching something from his lovers or knocking them up. There were tons of women who would want to get pregnant just so they could keep him in their lives forever.
“As in, I always wear a condom.”
Instant relief.
“Except with you.”
My eyes softened as I looked into his, both relieved and touched by the revelation. “Not once?”
He shook his head slightly. “Not even when I lost my virginity. My relationships are usually one-night stands. Sometimes, they last the weekend. But in every case, I don’t know the women very well. We aren’t friends, barely acquaintances. I can’t trust someone I don’t know.”
“And that’s why you didn’t wear anything with me? Because you trust me?”
He was quiet as he looked into my eyes. He hadn’t blinked once since the conversation began. “That’s not the only reason.” His fingers ran through my hair, pulling the soft strands away from my face. “You know that.” Finn wasn’t a romantic guy, but when he looked at me like that, he swept me off my feet.
I got lost in his eyes so easily. This man had captured my complete focus from the moment I met him. He wasn’t just handsome, but the darkness of his soul gave him so much mystery. He was more mature than all the men I’d ever dated. He said little with his mouth, but everything else with his masculine presence. He was strong but not overbearing. He was manly but not possessive. And not to mention, he was a veteran…which automatically made him the sexiest guy ever.
What would have happened if I’d met Finn before Colton? Would I have married him instead? Would I be able to have an open relationship with the man who’d swept me off my feet? I didn’t regret my marriage to Colton. But I did regret the situation we were currently in. “What are we going to do when Colton comes back?”
He continued to stare at me like he didn’t register my question. “I’d rather worry about that later.”
“It’s only a few days away.”
“And I’m not wasting those few days thinking about him.” His fingers dug lightly into my thigh.
I didn’t want to either. I wanted to stop time and enjoy every second until reality returned. “It’s ironic that Jax was so insecure about Colton, when he should have been concerned about you…”
“Only weak men are jealous.”
“You never get jealous?” I asked. “You weren’t jealous when I was with Jax?”
“I didn’t like you being with him because I wanted you for myself. That’s not jealous. And it’s ridiculous for a straight man to be jealous of a gay one. That shows he has a weak mind and a lack of confidence.”
“Then I must have a weak mind…because I’m jealous every time a woman buys you a drink.” I wanted to throw a tantrum right on the spot because I was so devastated. I hated seeing the way the women eyed him like a hot piece of ass, a hunk they wanted to take home.
His eyes narrowed slightly, like that response pleased him. “You were jealous because I wasn’t yours. Now that I am, you have no reason to be jealous. I’ll make every woman in the world jealous of you.”
This guy had better lines than Romeo. I liked this soft version, a side he never showed anyone else. The game came back on, but neither one of us paid attention to it. I grabbed the front of his sweatpants and pushed them down, knowing there would be a hard dick waiting for me. I kicked off my bottoms then straddled his hips, my lips pressing against the thick length of his shaft. “I’ll make them jealous myself.”
11
Pepper
The week passed in the blink of an eye.
I slept over every night and got used to the rhythmic sound of his deep breathing. His powerful heartbeat thumped against my palm as I snuggled into his side. It’d only been a few days, but now it felt like a lifetime.
Like I’d been sleeping with him all along.
I woke up that morning with disappointment in my heart. Colton would be arriving at the airport later that night, so our glorious week was over. I moved closer into Finn’s side and refused to move, not wanting to give him up so easily.
It was a Saturday morning, and the rain pelted the windows. The light sound was so common that it never woke me up. Even when a bad storm hit, it didn’t make me crack an eye. I snuggled into the tank beside me and enjoyed sleeping in, loving the fact that I didn’t have to work that day.
Finn didn’t either.
He rolled over in his sleep, turning toward me as his chest slid past my hand. His arm immediately hooked around my waist, and he buried his face in my hair. He wasn’t awake, but he seemed to be aware of my presence.
I felt him lie against me, his hard dick against my thigh.
I wished I could wake up like this every morning.
With a rock-hard, sexy guy on top of me who’d thoroughly pleased me the night before. I didn’t realize there was such a thing as regular orgasms. With Colton, it was usually hit or miss, and with Jax, the sex was pretty good but nothing compared to this. Was Finn just good in bed? Or was I just infatuated with him?
He sighed quietly before he opened his eyes. It took him a minute to focus on my gaze, to look into my green eyes and realize I was right there with him. His hand automatically slid up my back, and he kissed my neck in greeting.
I loved waking up to this man.
He rolled on top of me, ready for sex right away. He let his body sink into me more than usual, his weight pressing me into the mattress. His face returned to my neck as he slid his cock inside me, finding my entrance without even checking for it.
He started to thrust gently, still waking up as his cock slid deep inside my pussy.
My ankles locked together around his waist, and I moaned as he pressed my head into the pillow. My hands glided over his body, and I appreciated the feeling of this man. I pulled him closer to me and whispered his name over and over again. “Finn…” A man’s name never felt more at home on my lips. I could whisper it forever, could admit that he owned my mind, body, and soul freely.
“Baby.” He breathed against my neck, his lips lightly brushing against my skin.
I loved it when he called me that. I loved the possessiveness, the way he owned me. I never wanted to be owned more.
My toes started to curl as my climax approached. My nails anchored into his back as I held on for takeoff. Maybe Finn wasn’t that great in bed, but I was so aroused by him that he didn’t need to do much to get me off. I was so deeply absorbed in this man that just having him inside me was enough. “Yes…”
He thrust harder as I climaxed, bringing himself to orgasm at the same time. His body shuddered as his cock thickened inside me with release. He moaned as he gave me another load to accompany the one he’d given me last night. He grunted before his cock started to soften.
That was a great way to start the morning.
He rolled off me then lay beside me, slightly out of breath from the lazy fuck he’d just given me. His eyes still possessed that sexy and sleepy look, like he hadn’t fully woken up yet.
I propped myself up on one arm and looked down at him, my fingers trailing the grooves in his abs. I watched him blink a few times, my pussy full of the come he’d just given me. Staying in his beautiful house by the coast had been a dream, and I didn’t want it to end. I never minded my apartment, but now it felt like a cage. “Sleep well?”
“I always sleep well with you.”
“Do you not normally sleep well?” My hand rubbed his hard chest, my eyes taking in the ink on this skin. There were images of foreign places, probably locations where he was stationed during his service. His skin was an autobiographical canvas, a story of service, camaraderie, and death.
“No.”
“Why is that?”
He stared at the ceiling, his
eyes coming into focus now that he was fully awake. “Nightmares.”
My hand stopped at the center of his chest. “Oh…what are your nightmares about?”
He took in the ceiling as he considered the question, his eyes gazing into a past only he could see. “War.”
He never talked about his time in the military, but he seemed to be sharing it with me freely. “Did you see a lot of it?”
All he did was nod.
“I can’t even imagine…”
“It’s not as organized as film portrays it. It’s loud, confusing, and even with all the technology we have, it’s still chaotic. There isn’t much time to make decisions. Everything happens in a split second. And those decisions have dire consequences…resulting in death. I lost a lot of good men in the field. Some of them were beyond saving. Others would have had a chance if they got to me sooner.”
I started to rub his chest again, unable to fathom the gore he witnessed. Finn was calm and even-tempered, and sometimes I forgot what he’d been through. “I’m sorry…”
He finally turned his head and looked at me. “It’s too early in the morning to talk about this stuff. Conversations like these should only happen with a scotch in hand.”
“I didn’t mean to pry…”
“I know, baby. You weren’t.” The backs of his fingers traced down my body, starting at my neck and descending between my tits.
“Will you ever talk about it with me?”
His eyes followed his fingers. Then he gave a slight nod.
“Can I ask about your tattoos?” My hand moved to his chest. “It looks like a story.”
“It is a story. It’s ten years of my life in the service.” He pointed to the various military dog tags. “These are the friends I lost.” He pointed to other images. “These are the places I was stationed. The rest of the ink is a collage of my memories.”
“Not to seem insensitive, but…it’s really sexy.”
The corner of his mouth rose in a smile, a rare gesture from a guy like him. “I’ve been told that before.”
He’d been told that a lot, I bet. “So…how many women have you been with?”
His smile slowly disappeared. “I hate that question.”
“It’s just a question.”
“I have a better one.” His fingers continued to caress my skin. “How many women have I slept with who meant something to me?” His fingers trailed back up to my neck as his eyes locked on mine. “One.”
“One?” I asked. “You’re in your thirties, and there’s only been one woman?”
He nodded. “You know exactly who that woman is.”
It was another romantic thing that made my knees grow weak. “Why won’t you answer the first question?”
“I’ll answer it. I just don’t think it matters.”
Since he seemed uncomfortable sharing it, I didn’t press him on it. “Even when you were in the military, you didn’t have relationships? Not with the female officers?”
“No. The only thing I cared about was serving, fucking, and drinking.” He turned blunt once again, being exactly who he was without shame. “I never imagined I would ever meet a woman I actually liked, have feelings for someone that went beyond sex. I’m a difficult man to impress. But then this sexy brunette captured my notice the second I looked into her beautiful green eyes…and I cursed my brother for meeting you first.”
I leaned down and pressed a kiss to one of his tattoos, a country in the far north of the region where he must have been stationed at some point in time. “He’ll be home later tonight. What does that mean for us?” Would we be responsible and end this relationship before he returned? There was no way we could sneak around behind his back and not get caught. There was no hope for us. We should just treasure this week as a good memory, a way for us to get the urge out of our systems.
“What do you want, baby?” His arm wrapped around my waist, and he pulled me on top of him, his large size easily holding my weight.
I wanted Finn to be some random guy I met at a bar, not my ex-husband’s brother. I wanted nothing to stand in our way so we could enjoy each other as long as we wanted. “This can’t last. Colton is so prominent in both of our lives that we’ll get caught eventually. And that’s the worst way he could find out.”
He sighed quietly. “You’re probably right.”
“So maybe we should end this. We had the week to bang it out of our systems.” The logical woman inside me knew it was the right decision. This had no future. If we were going to be together, we should talk to Colton because that would be better than if he found out some other way. But the woman who was stuffed with his come felt differently. She wanted to keep this going, wanted to sneak around because it would be even hotter that way.
“I could never bang you out of my system.” His hand trailed down my back, his fingers tracing the curvature of my spine. “I’ve been with a lot of women, but none who compare to you.”
“Well, if you’ve never been with a woman without a condom, I have an unfair advantage.”
“It’s not just that.”
“Then what is it?” I whispered, finding him even more attractive when he was soft like this, showing his feelings without holding back. He was so rough and rugged all the time, but when it was just the two of us, he wore his heart on his sleeve. His transparency was even sexier than his masculine stoicism.
He studied my face as he considered his answer.
“I’m not the most beautiful woman in the world. I’m not the brightest or the most fun.”
“Even if that were true, it doesn’t matter. I can’t explain the way I feel, even if I were better with words. I just feel a connection with you. I felt it the moment we met. You hadn’t even opened your mouth to speak, and I still knew. Even when I thought you were still married to my brother, I felt it. Why? It’s a mystery. Don’t expect me to recite a poem about my emotions, not when I hardly understand the way I feel as it is.”
His explanation didn’t say much of anything, but it was still beautiful—coming from him. “So, we have a few hours left together. What should we do?” I didn’t want to think about the pain I would feel once this was over. I would have to be grateful that it happened, to remember he’d been mine when I saw him with someone else. He would take her home and fuck her, but she would never compete with me.
His eyes narrowed with focus. “The thing we do best.”
After we cleaned up the house and erased all trace of my presence, Finn drove me to my apartment in the city. It was on the way to the airport, so it was right on his route.
He kept his eyes on the road and didn’t make conversation.
There was nothing to talk about anyway. The radio was off, and the rain acted as the background noise. I watched the drops splatter against the windshield then be swiped away by the wipers.
This goodbye would be painful, but I had to be strong about it. The moment his lips were on mine, I knew our relationship was temporary. We had a one-night stand that lasted an entire week. I had no idea that it would be so magical, that I would want Finn even more by the time we were done.
He pulled over to the curb and turned off the engine. He sighed quietly then looked at his dashboard, his chin slightly tilted toward his chest. He didn’t have a lot of time to linger because Colton’s plane would be landing any second.
I didn’t want to make this more difficult than necessary. “Friends?” I extended my right hand in the gesture of a handshake.
He lifted his gaze and looked at me, ignoring my extended hand. “I never want to be the kind of friends that shake hands.”
“Alright…” I slowly lowered it. “What kind of friends do you want to be?”
He ignored me and got out of the truck, prepared to walk me to my door.
I grabbed my bag and walked with him into the building, indifferent to the rain that flattened my hair. We made the long walk up the stairs and to my apartment door. Not once during that week had he come over. I hadn’t even been at m
y apartment for more than a few minutes.
He stopped in front of me, failing to mask the pain on his face. “I don’t want to be friends. But I don’t know what else we can be.” His arms circled my waist, and he hugged me, his arms tight around the small of my back.
I rested my cheek against his chest, trying to treasure the moment as much as possible. I loved this hard chest, this strong, beating heart. His scent was my new perfume. I didn’t want to let this man go, to let him slip from my grasp into the arms of another lover.
His hand moved to the back of my neck, and he kissed my forehead. “I’ll miss you, baby.”
“I’ll miss you too.” I closed my eyes as I felt his lips on my forehead, the soft fullness that had kissed me everywhere so many times.
He abruptly released me and walked away, dismissing me the way usually did, without a backward glance. The muscles of his back moved fluidly as he carried himself down the hallway and out of sight.
It took me a second to let myself inside because the feeling of loss was so powerful. It’d only been a week of fucking and talking, but it was one of the best weeks of my life. When the sadness because too much, I reminded myself that I knew this was for the best. Even if Colton ever were to give his blessing, the relationship still didn’t have a significant longevity. It was better to be hurt now when the pain wasn’t excruciating, when I was still happy we got to enjoy each other at all.
12
Colton
I spotted Finn’s truck pulling up to the loading zone, so I tossed my suitcase in the space behind the seat and hopped inside. It was raining, like always, so we pulled onto the wet road and watched the pedestrians move down the sidewalks with their umbrellas.