by Jay Bell
“I’ll keep that in mind.” After that, Connor tried to steer conversation to other topics. Mr. Henry wasn’t exactly fun to be around, but he wasn’t terrible either. At least he gave David direction. When the meal was over, Connor thanked him, shook his hand, and walked with David to the front porch.
“Half an hour?” David said.
“What?”
“I need to do dishes, and Dad will soon be upstairs with his wine and music. I figured you could sneak back in.”
“For dessert?”
David nodded. “See you then.”
Connor drove a street over and parked, checking his watch occasionally as he waited. Mr. Henry’s questions weighed heavily on his mind. The truth was, Connor didn’t like thinking about his future. There weren’t many options. He had never bothered to take his SATs because he knew complete scholarships were rare, and he couldn’t expect his family to support him. Loans were out of the question and a part-time job at McDonald’s wouldn’t cut it. David’s idea of a career in the food industry was all he had, and realistically, that probably meant more fast food.
The thought was depressing. With his father supporting him, David would probably be off to college in a year and meet someone with more potential. Having a high school boyfriend who flipped burgers was one thing, but David wouldn’t feel so proud of Connor’s job when they were older.
He checked his watch again and saw more than enough time had passed. Connor left his car where it was and walked around the block, still distracted by his thoughts when he reached the bedroom window. He almost expected to see David looking disappointed already, but instead he had that same vulnerable smile that always made Connor melt.
“You did really good!” David said once Connor was in his room. “My dad’s a pain with all his education stuff, but you handled it well.”
“Thanks, but I doubt he’ll give me your hand in marriage any time soon.”
David laughed, and somehow that made everything easier. Connor pulled him close, wrapping an arm around his waist and leaning back just enough to look into his eyes. He didn’t want to lose David, no matter what he had to do.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” Worried he looked pathetic, Connor put on a fake smile. “Is the door locked?”
David grinned. “Yup!”
Connor didn’t waste any time. No matter what the future held, he would enjoy these moments to the fullest. He kissed David a few times, but they had done plenty of that earlier and he wanted more. He ran his hands up David’s back, pulling his shirt over his head along the way. Then he placed his forehead against David’s and looked down. David’s body was defined, the muscles more of an outline than actual mass. Connor ran his fingers down David’s side, feeling his ribs and envying how his torso narrowed as it reached the tight waist and stomach—every inch smooth and perfect. Somehow the people at school didn’t see how beautiful David was, but Connor wasn’t about to make that mistake.
He slid a hand down into David’s jeans.
“Wait.” David pulled away from him. “This time I get to have all the fun.”
He turned Connor’s back to the bed and pushed. Connor flopped down on the mattress and put his hands behind his head. If David wanted to be in control, that was fine by him. Crawling onto the bed beside him, David tugged up Connor’s T-shirt, kissing his belly button and his hips, but he was obviously impatient. He barely had Connor’s jeans open before he tugged them down. Then he lay sideways across Connor’s waist, propped up on one elbow. This was good, since it meant David wasn’t too far away to touch. Connor reached for him, David’s excited breath on his cock before warmth engulfed it.
Connor moved his hands down, one playing with David’s curly hair, the other stroking his back. There was so much he wanted to do, but he enjoyed how assertive David was being. Connor closed his eyes and let himself be selfish, whispering a warning just before he came, but David didn’t pull his mouth away.
“Okay, okay!” he said a minute later when it was clear David didn’t intend to stop. “At least give me a break.”
“Sorry.”
Connor pulled David upward and close, holding him so tightly that he worried he might be hurting him, but he couldn’t help it. “Promise you’ll always stay with me.” God, he probably sounded desperate or crazy, but he didn’t care. He needed to hear David say it. “No matter what happens, just stay with me.”
“I will.” David made a little noise, as if he wanted to say more, but then he just squeezed Connor back.
As they held each other tight, Connor committed every detail of this moment to memory—the dim light in the room, the feel of David’s hair tickling his cheek, even the cool drying saliva where David’s mouth had been. He never wanted to forget how good it felt to be near him, just in case one day he wasn’t so lucky.
“I promise,” David added, and Connor was glad, because he needed to hear it once more. “This means I’m your boyfriend, right?”
Connor did his best not to chuckle. “Nah, I’m your boyfriend.”
David smiled, his cheek shifting against Connor’s shoulder.
“All right,” Connor said. “Your turn. Then mine again. Then yours, mine, yours, mine.”
David laughed, and they did their best to make this crazy idea a reality.
* * * * *
When Connor got home that night, a light was on in the kitchen window. He thought his father had left it on again, but once inside, he found his mother sitting at the table, a can of beer next to the almost-empty glass in her hand.
“You’re up late,” Connor said, easing into the seat across from her.
“Just enjoying the quiet,” his mother said. “How was work?”
“No work tonight. I was out with a friend. Well, more than a friend. I met somebody.”
“That’s nice.”
His mother considered the back of her hand, then the ring on her finger. He hated it when she did this. She wouldn’t ask, in the same way she didn’t enjoy discussing Tracy’s girlfriends. Connor told her anyway, because it was part of his life, and he couldn’t talk to Dad or Tommy about such things.
“I have a boyfriend now. His name is David.”
She made eye contact again. “Does he make you happy?”
Connor grinned. “Yeah.”
“That’s important. You deserve to be happy.”
She became distracted again, and Connor realized it wasn’t the topic making her distant, but something else.
“Are you all right?”
She nodded and waved a hand dismissively. “I’m fine.”
“You can talk to me,” Connor said. “I’m not a kid anymore.”
She looked him over, as if assessing this truth. “No, you’re not. It’s just— Well, I’ve met someone too.”
Connor glanced toward the recliner his father always occupied and could tell by the tilt of his head that he was asleep. “You’re having an affair?” he whispered.
“No. Well, one of the heart, maybe, but nothing has happened. Yet.”
“With who?”
“The new maintenance man at the home.” His mother put a hand on her cheek. “Isn’t that terrible? I could lose my marriage and my job. But he’s handsome. And interested. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be telling my own child these things!”
“No, it’s fine,” Connor said, not sure if it really was.
“It’s just that your father hasn’t been much of anything to us for such a long time, and I get lonely.”
Connor could imagine why. What if David started doping up, just sitting around all day and staring at the TV? How many years had his father been like this now? He wanted his mother to have more, but the idea of his parents divorcing made his stomach clench. They had so little—only each other, really, and his dad had been great once. Tommy was too young to remember that, but Connor still did, and he wasn’t ready to give up on him.
“We should talk to the doctor or maybe find a different one,” he said. “Talk to D
ad too. He needs to be told that he’s on the verge of losing us. Just give him one more chance before you take this further, okay? I mean, you still love him, right?”
His mother was silent for a moment, which told Connor how long she had been struggling with this. In the end, she nodded. There was still hope, no matter how small.
“We can wake him up now,” he said. “If you want.”
“No! Let him sleep! I’ll talk to him. Just promise that you’ll let me tell him.”
Connor nodded. “I promise. You’re a good mom, you know that?”
She smiled. “And you’re a good son.”
Connor said goodnight and kissed her on the forehead before quietly entering his room. Tommy was asleep, his mouth open and his breathing loud. Connor was glad his mother had confided in him. He wasn’t going to be around forever, and Tommy had already gone too long without a father. As he crawled into bed, he tried to imagine what having a normal family again would feel like, picturing a perfect Christmas—his mother and father toasting each other with champagne glasses, Tommy tearing through presents, and David at Connor’s side, their fingers intertwined.
* * * * *
Connor stared at the grill and yawned. Lately he felt like he had two jobs, one he hated and one he loved. The one he hated involved hot greasy air, vats of fried oil beeping when the fries were done, and squawking drive-thru speakers. Connor let these things recede into the background as much as he could, thinking about his other job.
It wasn’t real employment, but looking out for David felt like a serious responsibility—especially after what had happened with Chuck’s car. The prank had gone further than they intended, enough that Connor worried he had made David into a bigger target. So, during the past week, he had walked David to and from all his classes. This meant sometimes running down the halls or asking to use the restroom five minutes before the bell rang. The teachers hadn’t minded much because school—for the seniors, at least—had been more or less over.
And now it was. Friday had been the last day, and the graduation ceremony that Connor fully intended to skip was next weekend. Poor David still had another week of school, which meant that Connor could only pick him up and drop him off. The rest of his safety was the responsibility of the school system.
And Connor’s future was in the hands of someone he couldn’t stand. He glanced at the clock. Mike should be here now. He always spent the first half hour of his shift in his office, acting as if he had crucial business to attend to.
“Shane. Take the grill. I’m going on break.”
Once free from the burger station, Connor walked toward Mike’s office, asking himself again if he really wanted to do this. Of course he didn’t, but now that school was over, he needed full-time work. Eventually he would find something better, but for now the pay from forty hours a week at Mickey D’s would go a long way toward getting his own place.
Connor leaned against the doorway, glancing around at Mike’s toll booth-sized office. Half the tiny space was cramped with boxes of leaflets and other advertising material. The rest was for the small desk, its surface always cluttered with mail, reports, and employee schedules.
Mike was seated at this desk, scowling at a report. Connor swallowed his pride so thoroughly he doubted he would ever see it again and knocked on the doorframe.
“Hello, Williams.”
Connor stared. No “what do you want?” or even a direct “fuck off”? Mike actually looked happy to see him.
“I wanted to talk to you about my schedule,” Connor began.
“Good. So do I. You’re working a double shift today.”
“What? Why?”
“Because you missed work on Monday.”
Connor felt relieved. This was just a misunderstanding. His plans with David tonight wouldn’t be ruined. “I wasn’t scheduled on Monday.”
Mike held up a calendar. “This says you were.”
Connor barely glanced at it. No doubt it said so now, freshly inked by Mike’s hand. “It’s Saturday,” he said, hoping for a shred of sympathy.
“It sure is, which means it’s one of our busiest days. Now, what did you want to talk to me about?”
“Nothing.” Connor turned to leave and almost ran into Riley. She met his eyes for a second, enough for him to see the guilt there. Good. Maybe she was feeling sorry for giving him the cold shoulder, not that it mattered. She was soon forgotten as Connor thought of his ruined plans with David. Connor wanted to drive him outside the city to Lake Olathe and find somewhere nice and dark to sit by the water. There they would chill together and maybe smoke a joint.
“Fucking asshole!” Connor shouted as he stumbled out into the parking lot. He wanted to punch something, but the only thing around was the building’s brick wall. Gritting his teeth, he took out his cell phone and considered his options. He couldn’t take Mike’s crap anymore. Maybe he could get transferred to a different McDonald’s. Mike would probably be glad to see him go, but until then, Connor had to play along.
Sighing, Connor texted David, unwilling to call and hear the disappointment in his voice.
Double shift. Cant play 2nite. Sorry Sweet16.
Connor leaned against the wall and stared at the orange glow of the city lights until his phone buzzed.
Still coming by?
He thought about the late hour, the greasy smell, and the foul mood he was in.
2morrow. OK?
Yeah. :(
Connor hated Mike, even hated himself a little for not being in a better position, but shoved it all aside and went back to work. Today he would do more than just spit in Mike’s burger. He deserved something worse, maybe a pubic hair from the toilets or one of the dead flies that were always by the windows.
Except as the afternoon faded into evening, Mike never asked him to make his food. Come to think of it, he hadn’t all week. Then Connor realized where Riley’s guilt came from and why he was working a double shift. When Riley started giggling at her station, he glanced over just long enough to see Mike there, leaning against the counter and flirting. From Riley’s body language, Mike’s advances were more than welcome.
Connor had the rest of the shift to wonder what this meant for him. Worst case scenario, Mike knew that Connor had been spitting in his burgers. He could lose his job, but most likely Mike would just make his life as miserable as possible.
This seemed to be his manager’s intention when closing time came. Mike sent everyone else home early except Connor, leaving him with four times as much to do. Usually Mike helped out, since he had pride in the place, but this time he only stood and watched Connor work from a distance.
With the front doors locked and the restaurant eerily quiet, they were left alone. Connor wondered if Mike planned to jump him. For whatever reason, Mike had never seemed frightened of him. The thought put Connor on edge as he hurried to get the placed cleaned up. Maybe this was his penance, and he could still get transferred out of here.
At nearly two in the morning, he was finally finished and went to clock out. His punch card stood out among the others—white and clean like it had never been used. When he took it, he saw it never had been. Even the timestamp from this morning was gone. Only his name was there, written in Mike’s stupid loopy handwriting. He turned to find the very person watching him.
“What the hell is this?”
“What?” Mike plucked the card from him. “Uh oh. It looks like you didn’t clock in today. Or for the whole week. What a shame. You know I can’t pay you for hours you can’t prove you worked.”
Connor knew debating this further was pointless. Instead he waited for Mike to unlock the back door and set the alarm, watching his self-satisfied face glow green in the keypad’s light. Once they were outside, Mike had something more to say. Connor didn’t find it at all surprising.
“Considering that you haven’t been in all week, I have no choice but to terminate your employment.”
Even though part of him had expected this, Connor still
seethed inside. “Just because I fucked Riley before you could?”
It wasn’t true, but it was a well-placed blow. Mike’s face registered shock, then anger. Riley would deny it, of course, but Mike wouldn’t forget and would be thinking of Connor if he ever made it that far with her.
“She says you’re a fag.”
Connor grinned. “Well, you know how pissed women get when you don’t call them the next day.”
Mike’s face showed hurt, which was a bonus, but not quite enough. Connor stepped close, almost near enough to kiss him. And there it was. Outside his tiny kingdom, and with Connor no longer under his control, Mike’s eyes betrayed fear.
Connor smiled, patted him on the shoulder, and turned away. He stripped off the uniform shirt as he walked, tossing it behind him. Connor swaggered all the way to his car and drove twelve blocks before he pulled over and let his shoulders slump.
He hated money, hated the way life revolved around needing it. Now he would have to find a new job and wouldn’t even have references he could use because Mike sure as hell wouldn’t put in a good word for him. Connor glanced at his phone, thought of David, and pulled the car back into the road. At the next intersection he did an illegal U-turn and headed toward the south side of town.
David’s window was dark when Connor got there, but hadn’t been shut completely. Connor smiled at this invitation and quietly pushed the window open the rest of the way. He dropped into the room like a cat burglar and stood, listening to David’s breathing and the gentle rustle of sheets as he moved in his sleep. Then Connor got undressed and slipped into bed next to him.
David stirred as Connor wrapped an arm around him, but Connor whispered for him to go back to sleep. He was just tired enough to obey. Connor moved his head near David’s shoulder, breathing him in and drifting off with the welcome realization that they now had more time to spend together.
* * * * *
“What an asshole!” David swore.
Connor watched him pace back and forth in front of the bed. He still found it ridiculously cute when David got angry. Or maybe he was just happy with how good the morning had been. The events of the previous night—working the long shift, getting fired, and probably not getting paid—all seemed a lot less serious now. Of course David had awakened him with some nookie, which helped, and shortly afterwards had snuck upstairs for a couple bowls of cereal. Probably not a traditional breakfast in bed, but Connor had enjoyed it. As they ate, he told David what had happened, which was why Connor was still cozy in bed while David stomped the length of the room like an angry general.