by Tamsin Baker
His guilt for whatever trivial things he’d done in his fifty years or so was nothing compared to the weight of the world. Or the average person’s sins, obviously.
“You may have, but you’re still on the list for Heaven,” I said. I was not going to deny his actions because that would be placating him and he did not need that from me. He needed honesty and something, a spark, to live for. “And you’ve been deemed important enough for the Demons to want to seduce to the darkness, so take it as a compliment. You have plenty of good work still to do in your lifetime.”
The doctor swallowed awkwardly, pulling his eyes back to me. “What do I need to do, then?”
“You need to fight. The Demons will not kill you. They will only torture your mind so that you give up on life.”
He nodded at me and dashed away the tears on his cheeks. “Well, they have certainly done a good job of that.”
I met his gaze with my own. “Never, ever. Give up. It is not your time yet.”
I stood up and walked over to where he still sat. I extended my hand out to him and pulled him to a stand.
“Now, we have a difficult road ahead, but I am here. With you. I won’t leave you. Get up, and let’s get you back to work.”
I adjusted my height to only be an inch or so taller than him.
“I’m not dreaming?” he asked, his eyes wide and bright. I could hear the defeat in his voice, as though he thought this was his body’s last-ditch effort to try and inspire him. His frame shook some, as though he were repressing the need to cry.
I chuckled again. “No, and I’m not leaving you. I will be by your side for the coming days. I will kill off any Demons that have been assigned to you, and hopefully by this time next week, you will be free of them forever.”
A single tear dropped down his cheek and I saw the first smile from my Target. “That sounds...like Heaven.”
I slapped him on the back and nodded. “Just hold onto your sanity, Doc, and you’ll see it one day, you’ll see that all I’ve told you is the truth. If you were not meant to be here, if you were not meant to grace Heaven with your presence, I would not be here.”
“Is it beautiful?” he asked me. I knew immediately what he was referring to. It was a common question from a human.
We walked over to the stairwell and I answered as I always did, though my memories of late had begun to fade. Replacing them were hard pink nipples, pale white swells of heavy breasts aching for my hands to hold onto them. I internally shook my head of Kadie, especially those particular memories. It would not serve me well now. “More beautiful than you can even imagine.”
Another week went by and I’d killed over a dozen Demons chasing down the doctor. I didn’t know what he was working on or why he was so important. I didn’t ask. It didn’t matter. The Demons themselves were the only dictators of who they wanted and they, unfortunately, controlled my schedule.
I missed Kadie much more than I’d expected to. It was an odd and uncomfortable feeling, to desire a human’s company so much. I hadn’t expected to experience this much pain after leaving her to get on with her life. At night, when I allowed myself a few hours of rest just to recuperate my body, I thought of her, of us and our time together. I thought my feelings for her would begin to diminish, but the truth of the matter was, those feelings had only gotten stronger and more intense during our forced separation. It was something else that made no sense to me.
I’d been sure that a part of my heart would always love the woman I left behind in Heaven, therefore, not leaving any room for anyone else in my heart.
I may have been wrong about that. Because there was a single truth that I lived by at the moment, and that was that I missed Kadie. With every breath I wanted to feel that sensation of being home again.
I loosed a breath and stared up at the black sky. No wonder humans thought it had the capacity to answer all of life’s questions – it was so grand, so vast, so open to every possibility. It was like a warm blanket, secure and reassuring. I wasn’t alone, not completely. Not with Kadie looking at the same sky as I was.
The thought comforted me a bit.
Tabitha’s voice suddenly came through my head, loud and clear., distracting me from my thoughts.
We have a problem.
Immediately, I sat up, my entire body on alert. What’s wrong? The doctor is safe.
No. A beat. Like she was trying to figure out what to say. It’s Kadie.
My heart stopped. What do you mean? Have they killed her?
My hands balled into fists. I should have sought her out sooner, just to ensure she was safe. I kept myself away because I thought I wouldn’t be able to resist, but leaving her meant she was on her own, with no one to protect her.
No. Not yet. But they’ve got her.
What do you mean they’ve got her? I nearly growled in frustration. They had been trying to kill her before. Now they were taking here? It didn’t make any sense. Why would they take her? Are they going to torture her?
I think I know why she was a Target to begin with.
I waited for more, but my Angel Agent was holding her breath. I knew she wasn’t holding back to torture me. She was debating on whether or not she should say anything in the first place. Tell me, Tabitha.
A sigh came from her and I knew she resigned herself to answer. I felt anticipation bubbling up in my chest but I tried to quell it in order to focus on Tabitha.
There’s a legend among us, about a woman destined to breed a new generation of Witches. Half-breed warriors who will make life for the Demons almost impossible on Earth. We’ve been waiting over a thousand years for such a woman and I’d begun to think it was just a myth.
I froze where I stood, my heart pounding like a war drum against my ribs. I don’t understand. I mean...please tell me you’re wrong. I looked to the left, where the sun was starting to rise. Beads of sweat dotted the back of my neck even though there was still a chill hanging in the air.
She’s already pregnant, Gabriel.
I stumbled backwards and my spine crashed into a building. Is it mine?
This was a dumb question. Of course, it was mine. Whose else could it be? I knew Kadie was modern and I knew she was independent, but I could see the love she had for me in her eyes. I had no qualms about her moving on, I swear, I did not. I just did not think she would move on so quickly with a stranger after everything we had been through.
And yet, I couldn’t be sure. It sounded impossible. She was human. I wasn’t. We’d only made love a handful of times. A few weeks ago. I racked my brain. We did not use human contraception. I did not think I needed to. I never needed to in the past because I could not get a human pregnant due to the fact that I was not of this world.
Are Witches trule human, though?
My eyes widened at this sudden thought. Kadie looked like a human, laughed and ate and slept like one. And yet, there was more to her than a normal human. She had magical tendencies, things even I could not explain, and I had been alive much longer than any human could fathom. Regardless, even if she was pregnant – and I still was not entirely convinced she was - surely Tabitha couldn’t know that already?
Yes.
I dropped to the concrete, dropping my face in my hands. I could not feel much of anything. I just heart the pounding of my heart, the sweat turning into streaks and gliding down my back. There was a weight heavy in my stomach that dragged me down. If the concrete wasn’t there, I wouldn’t have been surprised if I was pulled all the way into the flames of Hell itself.
Even if I was, I doubted I would feel a thing. I was too numb with shock to do anything, to speak, to even breathe.
Oh...fuck!
What have I done?
You need to find her and save her before they kill her. Your progeny is too important to this world, Gabriel. You must find her immediately.
My progeny?
I felt myself prickle with annoyance at Tabitha’s lack of interest in saving Kadie to save Kadie. Instead, she seemed
more focused on saving the fetus inside of her body.
Would they really do that? I asked, trying to take my personal emotions out of the conversation and failing to do so. It would send her straight to Heaven.
And perhaps one day I would meet her again. And our unborn child.
I still wasn’t sure how I felt about the fact that I was suddenly in possession of a child. It was difficult to wrap my head around.
Yes. Which is why I believe they were trying to kill her originally, so she wouldn’t bear your child. But now that she’s pregnant, they will torture her instead. They want both of them for the Hell dimension. She is far more important than we first believed, Gabriel. Your child cannot die. They are both part of the cause now.
I wasn’t sure how I felt about that, either. It wasn’t Kadie’s fault that I was a fallen angel and would be punished for my sins accordingly. But now our child would be thrown into the middle of this as well, simply because my loins produced it?
I could not react. Instead, I steepled my fingers over my nose and took in a deep breath. Right now, I needed to focus on finding Kadie and then saving her from the demons. After that, I could figure out how I felt about the news. Where do I start?
Here is her last location.
She sent the address to me. Out of state. I frowned. Did they fly her?
We don’t know. The details are very unclear. This is all unprecedented and sudden. Even detecting her pregnancy came as a shock to me, but it’s been confirmed. Which to be honest, I still can’t believe either. How could you sleep with her knowing the consequences to you, Gabriel? You could be in more trouble than either of us can fathom.
I know... I know...
I still couldn’t believe it myself some days.
But regardless of that... we can worry about it later. For now, I cannot express how important it is for you to find her quickly. I can only imagine what they’ll do to her, Gabriel.
Tabitha was not one for emotions. She was helpful, certainly, and she did her duty to save those who needed saving, even though they were human. But to hear her voice shake in my head because she was scared over what could possibly happen to Kadie... it caused my blood to turn to ice.
I picked myself up and extended my wings. I took to the sky with the cold hand of fear gripping my heart and my sword burning into my feathers. I would kill many tonight, and if the Fates were kind and Heaven had my back, I would get out of there alive so I could kill even more. I would not rest until Kadie... and our unborn child were safe.
I landed on barren earth an hour later, my soul shivering with cold at the address I’d been sent to. I did not typically feel the cold and tilted my head to take in my surroundings. A castle reached up to the sky before me, situated on a hill in the middle of nowhere. Why had the Demons brought her here? What did they want from her?
More than that, did the cold affect Demons the same way it seemed to affect me? Demons, with their fire, could melt ice, but surely they did not like the frigid atmosphere. It could not be easy to maneuver in.
I turned my attention back to the castle. If they still had her, she had to be here. If they wanted her dead, there were quicker ways than the cold and a castle. If they wanted her tortured, surely, they could have done it better in New York so they wouldn’t have to put in any extra effort to move her around?
None of this was making any sense.
Fear coursed along my spine at the possible other reasons they may have taken her. Perhaps this was a trap for me? Maybe they moved her here knowing the cold did something to me. They could isolate me, perhaps, put me in an environment I was not familiar with. Those from the Hell dimension had wanted my hide before, but they’d never quite gotten me. Let them try. I still had my sword. My wings may be black but they could still fly.
I took a step towards the castle, pondering the possibility of them knowing that I knew about my child. Maybe they made the assumption that if I knew they had a pregnant Kadie, I would come for her. They must know regardless of her pregnancy or not, I would not leave her with them. I would come.
Even if I was on my own.
I continued to pad up the hill, trying to keep myself as miniscule as possible. I tucked myself beneath my invisibility and adjusted my wings accordingly. It was daylight still, so I was hoping the Demons would have human lookouts. Humans, I could deal with easily. They would be susceptible to my invisibility. And my sword.
I ran through the overgrowth of large trees and reached the gates that were armed with barbed wire and an alarm. I chose to avoid those and extended my wings, flying over the top with ease.
So far, so good.
My boots squelched in the mud as I raced up to the side of the stone castle, my heart pounding and my fingers itching to grab my sword. I could sense Kadie nearby, her tender soul shining with that familiar warmth that I cherished.
She was definitely here. Thank the Gods.
I slowed as I neared the castle, tilting my head again to try and see if I could hear anything. This seemed almost too easily. The Demons knew my strengths and had found one weakness. Certainly they knew to expect me to fly. Certainly they knew to expect me to be invisible.
And yet, I had to keep going. Even if this was a trap, I needed to find Kadie. I needed to make sure she was okay.
That was the most difficult part – not knowing what were they doing to her. Panic crept into my heart and I steeled myself against it. I’d be no use to her if I froze from fear at a critical moment.
If you’re scared, how do you think she’s feeling?
The thought sent a flare into my bones and it caused me to move quickly.
I twisted and bolted up the stone steps, extended my wings, and then flew up onto the top floor. There were two human guards at roof level, holding machine guns. I almost laughed at the sight.
As if they’re going to stop me.
I left the sword sheathed on my back and hit them with my fists instead. I was forbidden from killing humans, but injuring them was within my scope if it meant saving a Target. Part of me wondered if they were aware they were helping demons. Part of me didn’t particularly care. My only focus was Kadie, and even if these humans were being manipulated, I still needed to get to her and they were in my way.
My shoulders tightened and bunched as I swung my fists at their jaws.
One fell, then the other.
They barely made a sound as they sunk to the stone floor like popped balloons.
The men hadn’t been able to see me, which was a good sign that the rest of this rescue mission may be easier than I’d hoped. I just had to find Kadie and get her out before darkness, and the Demons, returned.
The door to the inside of the castle was locked. I was unperturbed. For my paranormal strength, this would be easy to overcome. I heaved my shoulder against the heavy steel and burst through the door. It clattered open with a massive bang.
Silence. I glanced left and right. There were too many hallways to choose from, and I had an unbelievably strong feeling pass over me.
I was going to die today.
The cold hand of death wrapped around my heart, warning me of what was to come. There would be no Heaven for me. Fallen Angels had nowhere to go after limbo.
There would be nothing. I would be gone forever.
No matter. Kadie was the only important thing.
When the thought floated across my mind like a cloud, I realized it bore the truth. I would be satisfied with my death, knowing Kadie would survive. It suddenly made sense; everything made sense. It was as though I fell to die for her, that my sole purpose of getting thrown out of paradise was so I could protect the one person in this entire expanse who filled my heart with the word home.
I cleared my mind of everything except my mission and crept along one of the halls. I drew my sword and held it at the ready. For one of the first times in my existence, I didn’t know what to expect. It both scared and excited me, especially with the very real possibility of death just around the corne
r. It was a strange sensation: once I knew there was a chance that I would be nothing at any moment, I had never felt so free.
I moved further inside the darkened hallways and my muscles quivered. My legs grew heavy beneath me. Something was wrong in this part of the castle. My superior hearing heard a groan through the door ahead of me. I raced there, tried the steel handle and found it locked.
Something inside me shifted and I could feel Kadie as though she were pressed against me. I knew she was just there, behind this door. I breathed in and stilled my anxiety, trying to see if there was anything else I could pick up before going inside.
She was barely breathing, but alive. Inside this room. This cell. I threw my whole weight against the door and it split from its hinges, banging to the floor in a warped mess.
It was deathly dark inside the huge room that would have once been a banquet hall. Evil lurked inside, but so did my Witch. And I wasn’t leaving her in there.
I crept inside, holding my sword out in front of me and using what little light spilled in from the doorway to see, while praying to God I didn’t accidentally hurt Kadie. There were no windows, no way for me to actually see what lay before me. I would just have to trust in my abilities. I would have to have faith in the Supreme Creator that I would be okay.
Perhaps learning faith really was part of my penance.
I should be able to see through the gloom, but this wasn’t a normal darkness. There was dark magic at play here.
I cleared my throat. The silence was too loud, gripping my skin, clawing at me like a feral cat. I whipped around to look behind me. I could feel Kadie here, but I saw and I heard nothing.
“Kadie?” I called out, my heart racing in my chest as adrenaline sizzled along my nerve endings.
More of that deathly silence that rattled my bones.
Come on, beautiful. I know you’re in here. Perhaps if I could tease her thoughts, she might be able to respond in that way.
“Gabriel?”
I closed my eyes and tilted my head up, sending an appreciative gesture to my Creator. Whatever disagreements we may have had mattered little when Kadie was still alive.
Kadie’s voice was weak, but she was here. Thank the Lord. I raced towards her voice and the door banged shut behind me, throwing us both into an unholy darkness. She whimpered and I drew closer, following my instincts. My eyes worked hard against the gloom and I could finally make out her shape.