I didn’t want to believe her, but she gained nothing at this point from lying. And I certainly wouldn’t put it past the show to invite people on the cruise purely to create drama. “Either way, he likes you now. Madison cares about you, too. Rachel. Even Justin.”
“Oh, yeah? Where are they? Why aren’t they here, trying to talk me down off this ledge? Whose brilliant idea was it to send you?”
I forced myself not to roll my eyes. Voluntarily talking to Ariana was like a sleeping bear inviting a stick to poke it. “I asked them to let me come apologize. I feel horrible for what I did. I misinterpreted everything in the video. I didn’t have a clue that you were sick. But honestly, if I’d known I’d find you sitting on this wall, I’d have sent someone you don’t hate to talk you down.”
“I don’t want your pity,” she said.
“It’s not pity. It’s empathy. Twenty-three is too young to die, and even though I’ll probably never like you, I didn’t want any of this.”
She turned her head away from me, white knuckles clutching the top of the wall. Good. Maybe she didn’t want to die, after all. “All I ever wanted was to be famous, you know? I thought my good looks would get me acting jobs, but there are lots of pretty girls out there. Then I thought Daddy’s money could help. And it did, a little: a few bit parts in a few crappy movies.”
“I watched all of those movies,” I said. “To see you.”
“Oh, yeah? They sucked.” She was right, so I didn’t respond. “I suck. I’m a terrible actress. I’m not good at anything.”
“I don’t know about that,” I said. “You make an excellent reality TV villain. Much better than J-Dawg.”
The one thing almost everyone on The Fishbowl agreed on was that Joshua made a complete fool of himself trying to act like the bad guy. My words had their intended effect on her.
Ariana grinned at me before responding in a perfect imitation. “Whaddup, losers? The J-Dawg is here to stay, so all the imposters gotta play!”
Any other time, her impression would’ve cracked me up. I was too tense to laugh. Still, her joke seemed like a good sign. Maybe I could get her to turn around and come inside with me after all.
“I really didn’t know you were sick,” I said. “And I know I shouldn’t have sent that video to Ed, but he never would have displayed it. No one’s seen Janine since that day in Jamaica. I had no idea he and Connor finally tracked her down, at the worst possible moment.”
“I believe you. I guess it’s just not my year.” She paused. “You probably won’t believe me now, but I really did come to the cruise to make amends. Kind of like a twelve-step program for the dying.”
Since she was perched on the edge of the wall, I didn’t want to piss her off, so I chose my next words carefully. “You have a strange way of showing it.”
“I’m such a mess,” she said. “The thing in the hall with the baby? That was a joke. A bad joke, but yeah . . . for some reason, whenever I’m near you, I see red. My brain takes a vacation. You’re so smart and pretty and everyone likes you and no one ever likes me. All I want is to bring you down, and I don’t care what it takes.”
“If it makes you feel any better,” I said, “the feeling is one hundred percent mutual. For a second, I really wanted to share that video. If I hadn’t been tempted, none of this would have happened.”
“Don’t feel too bad,” she said. “If I had something like that, I’d have shared it in a heartbeat.”
“That doesn’t surprise me even a little bit.”
“Best enemies forever?”
“I guess so.”
She sighed, running one hand through her hair before yanking it off her head. I’d almost forgotten Justin said she was wearing a wig. “I hate this thing, you know. Screw it. Let’s all be bald together.”
When she chucked it off the side of the ship, I burst out laughing. Never in a million years would I have guessed Ariana Sassani would voluntarily walk around bald in public, especially in front of TV cameras.
“You’re still one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen,” I said. “Hair or no hair.”
“Thanks. I know.”
The ship lurched.
Voices shouted overhead, and I turned to see Justin and Dominic waving from the deck a few floors above us. I couldn’t make out their voices over the wind, but I’m smart enough to guess they said something like, “Don’t be stupid. Get off that wall and come inside where it’s safe.”
I pointed and waved. “See? And your friends are on the deck, waiting to have a drink with you and watch a movie under the stars and make some memories. What do you say we go find them?”
“Will you be there?”
I sighed, but it wasn’t like I wanted to hang out with her, anyway. All I wanted was to go home. “Not if you don’t want me to be.”
She thought for a second. “I guess you can stay, as long as you and Justin aren’t playing kissy face.”
“I think we can manage that.” I didn’t move, holding my breath, waiting for her to turn around before I climbed down myself.
Before she could decide, the ship lurched, throwing us both off balance. Ariana put one hand over her mouth and heaved. Vomit poured through her fingers, into her lap. She swayed and fell to one side. She caught herself on the wall, but then heaved forward, sending another wave of vomit into the wind.
Above us, a scream split the air.
My blood ran cold, and the world slowed. If she went over the edge, it would be my fault. And as much as I loathed her, I didn’t want to see her dead. Not now, and not in a few months. Poor Ariana. The past year with Justin’s mother had really given me a newfound respect for living life to the fullest, but Ariana would never get that chance. Especially not if she fell overboard.
The ship lurched again. Ariana rolled forward, toward the open water. Without thinking, I lunged for her. At the same instant, she caught herself. The ship rocked backward. Ariana rolled off the wall, into the room. My fingers brushed the fabric of her shirt as I flew past her. My fists closed on absolutely nothing. And then I realized my mistake in trying to grab her without grounding myself first.
Sitting on the edge of the balcony wall, my momentum propelled my upper body away from the ship. My ass came up off the wall. Too late, I tried to pull myself back. My arms scrambled, seeking anything to grab, but my fingers closed only on the open air in front of me. With nothing to hold onto, I tumbled over the side of the railing, hurtling toward the open sea below.
Chapter 23
Still more from the Guppy Gabber, Saturday:
Justin: When Jen went over the side, my heart stopped. Security stopped me from jumping after her. Sure, I was upset about what she did to Ariana, but I get why she did it. I love Jen with all my heart. I don’t want to live without her.
Rachel: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Those were the only words going through my mind. I can’t even. Jen! *incoherent sobs*
Ariana: What? Of course I didn’t push her! Maybe I never liked her, or most of the rest of them, but I’m not a killer. Besides, Jen and I have come to an understanding.
The moment my fingertips brushed open air, my old training took over, and my mind started to race. An Olympic diving platform stood ten meters off the water. About a fifth of the distance between the eighth deck balcony and the water. In about ten seconds, I’d slam into the ocean. About as soft as a sheet of glass. No way to stop it. No way to slow down. Think, Jen. Nine seconds.
Platform divers jumped. They weren’t pushed, but the basic principles of diving should apply. Eight seconds.
No time to spare. Instinctively, my body folded into the pike position. I rotated one end over the other. The edges of the ship flew through my peripheral vision. As the water neared, I unfolded, pointing my fingertips at the water while twisting my body to face away from the ship. My eyes shut. I inhaled deeply and braced for the impact.
The water stung, but not as badly as if I’d belly-flopped from so high up. My body curled into a ba
ll, allowing me to roll over, toward the surface. I swam away from the ship, seeking not to get caught in the water and other stuff churning from the bottom.
A cheer went up when I broke the surface. Treading water, I waved my arms overhead to let them know I was okay. Halfway up the ship, a tiny blond figure jumped up and down, then disappeared. Justin. He must’ve gone for help. I cupped my hands and yelled toward him, but the wind whipped my words in the opposite direction. He didn’t reappear, so I let my hands drop. Better to save my energy for getting back on the ship. Once I caught up to it.
Surely, the ship’s crew would send someone to rescue me once they realized a passenger fell overboard. I couldn’t let the ship get too far away, but I wouldn’t have to scale the sides or anything.
My mind racing, I egg-beatered my legs, eyes scanning for a rescue boat. Thankfully, there were plenty of witnesses to my fall, so I didn’t have to wonder if Ariana cared enough to call for my rescue. Breathing in and out, I forced myself to remain calm and not wonder if sharks lived in the water off Cozumel. Sting rays. Jellyfish. Manatees.
Okay, Jen. Chill. One thing at a time. Step one, don’t drown. Keep on swimming.
Something brushed against my foot, and I screamed. In the dusky light, it was impossible to see what lurked below the surface, and I probably didn’t want to.
Finally, a siren split the air, and the boat stopped moving away from me. Floodlights lit up the area. The waves flickered around me as fish swam for the safety of the darkness, and my breathing came a bit easier. These were good signs.
Someone shouted instructions from the upper deck using a megaphone. I couldn’t hear much over the roaring in my ears, but I imagined they said something like, “Don’t move!”
As if I might go for a leisurely swim across shark-infested waters for the thrill of it. A moment later, something white flew high into the air, landing in the water between me and the ship. A life preserver. Awesome.
Feeling better already, I swam toward it. The light guided me to my destination. Swimming in the ocean took a lot more energy than swimming in a pool. Between my argument, my unexpected dive, treading water, and the swim, my arms felt like overcooked rigatoni by the time I wrapped them around the white circle floating on the water. Hopefully, they wouldn’t expect me to hold on while they towed me to safety. What a ridiculous thought; exhaustion was clearly affecting my mind.
Toward the rear of the starboard side of the ship, three lifeboats began to lower. Oh, good. Climbing into a lifeboat sounded much better than hauling myself up the side of an ocean liner. I continued to tread water, trying not to think about what else floated around out there with me. Finally, the orange rafts drew near enough for me to hear one of the occupants call out to me. With graying hair at his temples, a dark tan, and deep-set eyes, the man reminded me of my father. For a moment, I thought I was hallucinating. I blinked water out of my eyes and shook my head, revealing that he looked like most of the other officers on the crew, down to the white uniform, but a couple of decades older.
When he spoke, his unusually deep voice dissipated any lingering resemblance to my father. “Hello there! Are you okay?”
“Just swell,” I said. Trying to sound blasé helped me stave off panic. “You should offer balcony diving as a group activity for guests.”
The man chuckled. “Hold on another sec. I’m Frank. Let me pull this thing up next to you, and then my friend Raoul and I will haul you aboard.”
“No worries. I could float here all night.” My voice shook, revealing the lie.
Two hands reached out to me, one tanned, the other dark brown. I stared at them, not wanting to relax my death grip on the life preserver.
“It’s okay,” Frank said. “Grab my hand first, then Raoul’s. We’ve got you. You’re going to be fine.”
As scared as I was, getting pulled into a lifeboat sounded better than continuing to tread water indefinitely. I took a deep breath and reached out with my left hand. Once Raoul’s warm hand gripped mine, I reached out with my right arm. He and Frank hauled me aboard.
It wasn’t graceful. If the cameras reached this far out to sea, I’d go viral on YouTube within a few hours. But I was safe. I lay on the bottom of the boat for a long moment, panting until Frank helped me up.
Once I settled onto a bench inside the raft, Raoul wrapped me in one of those thin emergency kit blankets that looked like aluminum foil and handed me a stainless steel beverage container.
“Coffee,” he said.
“Got anything stronger?”
He winked at me. “How about you wait until we get back to the ship for that?”
Frank asked, “You okay, miss? Your name is Jennifer, right? I’d hate to think we saved the wrong damsel in distress.”
“Jen,” I said automatically. “And I’m the right damsel. Ariana was about to fall overboard, and . . . I miscalculated a little.”
“Don’t talk now,” Frank said. “And don’t move too much. Once we get onboard, I need to take you to the infirmary, and then the captain’s going to want to take a statement.”
“Did you hit your head when you fell, miss?” Raoul asked.
Shaking my head, I sipped from the thermos. Hot, bitter coffee seared all the way down to my belly. I’d never tasted anything so satisfying.
Finally, our raft reached the side of the Queen Kelly. I’d expected a ladder or something, but instead Frank pulled up next to wire hooks dangling from the side of the boat. He attached them to large metal rings at either end of our raft and tugged on the lines sharply. Then he whistled twice, and we jerked upward.
“Is this safe?” Landing in the ocean two times in one night did not sound like twice the fun.
“Much safer than diving over a railing.” Frank winked at me.
Someone called my name. Looking up, I spotted Justin a few decks above us, waving frantically. I waved and blew him a kiss, trying not to create any motion that might capsize us in mid-air. Finally, after what felt like hours, we came to a stop next to an opening in the railing. Raoul went over first, then Frank lifted me up like a child and handed me to him.
My eyes went straight to Justin, who seemed to have aged about ten years. I stepped toward him, but Frank stopped me.
“I’m sorry, but we need to get you checked out by the ship’s doctor before you go anywhere. We brought a wheelchair for you.”
The idea of not being allowed to walk twenty feet to the elevator and then another few steps to the infirmary made me want to laugh, but the cruise line was probably already peeing their pants worrying I’d sue. They didn’t know what was in the waiver the Network made me sign before coming on the trip. I couldn’t sue if the captain tried to execute me on live television for the ratings. Still, I let a member of the staff transport me to the infirmary so a medical professional could confirm I hadn’t broken anything in the fall.
Also, my legs buckled as soon as Raoul let go of me. He helped me into the wheelchair. I thanked him and turned to Frank.
“Can my boyfriend come with me? He won’t be in the way, I promise.”
Frank studied our faces for a moment before nodding. I wanted to throw myself into Justin’s arms, but I settled for grasping his hand while Frank wheeled me down the hall to the elevator.
Justin gripped my fingers until they turned white, but I couldn’t protest. I fully understood wanting to hold on to him and never let go, and I hadn’t watched him nearly die. If I’d doubted how he felt after our conversation, the look on his face when he spotted me in the lifeboat cemented my trust in him. In us.
In the infirmary, Frank lifted me onto a paper-covered cot before leaving me and Justin alone. The door hadn’t finished closing before Justin pulled me to him, crushing me against his chest. He rained kisses down my face before our lips met hungrily. His hands were everywhere, as if he wanted to examine me for injuries personally. I clutched at him desperately, never wanting to let go. When we finally parted, my breath came as fast as when I’d come up from my dive.
“Sweet Jesus. Don’t you ever scare me like that again,” he said. “I thought you—”
“Shh.” I leaned forward and kissed him again, lightly. Tears streaked his face. “But I didn’t. I’m okay, really.”
“When you went over the edge, those were the longest seconds of my life. It felt like eons before you broke the surface.”
“I’m glad the girls’ high school diving coach was such a cutie. Otherwise, I might never have joined the team.”
He relaxed the tiniest fraction at my bad joke. My heart still beat frantically in my chest. Before he could reply, the ship’s doctor entered.
Fifteen minutes later, the Chief of Security arrived to ask me some questions about what happened. He assured me that the ship’s therapist talked to Ariana, and she would be fine. She and Dominic would be moved to a room without a balcony, just in case.
I gave a quick statement, and he handed me a sheaf of papers trying to make me swear not to sue. Justin would never forgive me if I signed a waiver without consulting him. With a polite smile, I declined to take a pen about four times before the doctor let me walk out of the room under my own power, papers still in hand.
When I finally emerged, Justin leaned against the wall, staring at his hands. “What did he say?”
“I should be okay. They want me to stay awake for twenty-four hours in case I have a concussion. And I need to make an appointment with my doctor when we get home. Also, they want me to sign this waiver.”
He pulled me into another long hug before dropping the papers into a nearby trash can. “I’ll spend the entire night with you, keeping you awake, if that’s what it takes.”
“I suspect I’m going to enjoy that.”
“Oh trust me, you will.”
Sweet Reality Page 23