Borrowed Heart

by Andrew Grey

  “No. Call the police, now!” Robin half yelled, and turned to Mason. “It’s over. Whatever you’ve been doing is over. Put down the knife.”

  “No.” Mason drew his hand back, and Robin braced for him to throw the knife. He had no idea if it was coming at him or Johan. Light gleamed off the blade as it sailed through the air, straight at him, but then thunked to the floor in a whirl of motion. Robin wasn’t sure what had happened until blood bloomed and ran down Johan’s arm. He’d batted the knife away to save him.

  Johan clutched the cut on his arm, and Robin saw red, the entire room narrowing to Mason. Just reacting out of rage on Johan’s behalf, Robin leaped, crashing into Mason, sending him thumping into the wall. “You shit! You hurt Johan!” Robin beat on Mason, kneeing and slugging with everything he had.

  “Robin,” Johan said from behind him. “I need your help.”

  That pulled him out of the dark place he’d slipped into. Robin looked down at Mason’s bloodied face and his body curled into a fetal position. Robin hurried to the bathroom, grabbed a towel, and wrapped Johan’s arm.

  “Is it bad?”

  “Not really,” Johan said. “I don’t think it’s deep, but it’s a long cut.”

  Robin got him sitting on the side of the bed and opened the door. The entire tour group had gathered outside.

  “I called the police,” Billy said.

  “We need medical assistance too,” Robin explained, and Billy got on the phone.

  Mason groaned and tried to get up, but Kyle and Billy held him down until the police arrived, sirens splitting the night.

  Robin explained what Mason had wanted, and officers went through Mason’s room and removed all his things, carrying them out of the hotel in large, clear plastic bags. Lily fretted over both of them while Grant brought them each a bottle of water. Johan and Robin answered a million questions, neither of them saying a word about their little excursion earlier that night. It was probably best to leave that part out.

  “Do you know what he was doing?” Robin asked the policeman wearing a sharp blue uniform. The man wasn’t large but was still intimidating as all hell.

  “It seems he was using the tour as a cover for his illicit activities,” he explained in heavily accented English.

  “We’d noticed that his pack was often full and then sometimes seemed empty,” Robin explained nervously. He’d been allowed to dress and stood in the hall while they helped Johan, who it seemed didn’t need to go to a hospital. They were able to close the wound and had wrapped it for him, which was a huge relief. Robin gave the officer a copy of their itinerary so he’d know where they had been, and hopefully the recently stolen items could be returned.

  The officer took notes and got their contact information. He checked Robin’s identification, which he thought pretty standard. “You suspected him?”

  “Yes. But we weren’t sure,” Robin answered. “Apparently something came up missing, and he thought we had taken it. We intended to call the police if we saw something definite, but we were never really sure what was going on. It would look bad for the tour company if I called the police on someone in my group and it turned out to be nothing.” Robin wrinkled his brow. “Is there anything else we can do to help?”

  “I do not think so,” the officer said, and he left the room, Billy and Kyle going with him.

  Once the medical personnel were done with Johan and packed up and left, Robin got him comfortable on the bed, which was blessedly free of blood. After Johan was settled, Robin went down to explain what had happened. The manager didn’t seem happy, but there was nothing Robin could do. He thanked him for his help and wished him a good night, then stayed nearby until Billy and Kyle came back upstairs, meeting them in the hall.

  “Please, everyone, go back to bed and get some rest.”

  “Will we be able to still go to the castle tomorrow?” Grant asked.

  Robin wasn’t sure if Johan would be able to drive, but he suspected he would if he was careful. “Right now our schedule hasn’t changed. We’ll meet in the morning. If we aren’t able to use the bus, we can get to Moselkern by train and walk to the castle.” It was a beautiful hour-long walk through the woods. Robin had done it before but hoped against hope that Johan would feel up to driving. “I have a backup if we need it.”

  He waited until all the others were in their rooms before going in to check on Johan. He found him in bed, lying on his back, bandaged arm outside the covers. “You scared the heck out of me.”

  “Me?” Johan asked, trying to sit up. “You went at him like a man possessed. I was afraid he’d hurt you.”

  Robin turned out the light and soothed him back down. Then he stripped off his clothes and got into bed, being careful not to jostle Johan. “Mason is a big, fat coward. He talks huge, but when it comes to anything physical, he backs off fast. I had to wait until he no longer had the knife and then I could go after him. You, on the other hand, scared the crap out of me.”

  “I had to stop the knife. I didn’t mean to get cut myself.” Johan closed his eyes, and Robin settled as best he could. “I’m going to be okay. It hurts, but it could have been worse for both of us.” He sighed. “The police have Mason in custody, and he isn’t going to be going anywhere very soon. He’s a foreigner, so they aren’t going to let him out on any sort of bond because he’ll run. So jail and then court are waiting for him.” Johan grinned. “Hopefully his victims will get their things back.”

  “Maybe. Who knows how much he’s already sold?”

  “True.” Johan yawned. “Let’s try to get some rest. We still have a big day ahead of us tomorrow, and I don’t want to be driving anyone off the road.” He gently turned on his side, and Robin pressed his leg next to Johan’s, needing to touch him but not wanting to be close enough that he bumped his arm.

  It took a while, but eventually he dozed off, though he woke again at every noise.

  ROBIN GOT an awful night’s sleep and left Johan in bed, dressing as quietly as he could before taking his pills and heading down to breakfast. The night’s excitement was all the talk, and Robin gathered everyone together.

  “Johan is still in bed, and I want to let him sleep for a while.” He explained to everyone what had happened and what Mason had apparently been doing, intent on quashing any rumors. “Mason won’t be with us going forward. What I’d like to do is give you all a few hours on your own this morning, and then once Johan has slept, we’ll go to the castle. They have a wonderful café, and if you’re all agreeable, we can have lunch there and then take our tour. Does that sound okay?” He waited, and everyone seemed fine with it. “Awesome.” The group filtered off to do their own thing.

  He got to work, making calls and canceling Mason’s hotel room for the rest of the trip, which took a while. It would save Albert some money. Then Robin placed a call to Albert as well.

  “Is Johan okay?” he asked as soon as Robin explained what had happened. “Can he drive?”

  “He says so, and we’re continuing on from here. Mason’s rooms have been canceled going forward, so we’re okay there.” Robin went through his notes. “I think I can take care of everything else from here on. I just wanted you to know about our little excitement.” Robin figured he could fill Albert in completely once the tour was over.

  “All right. You be careful, and don’t let him overdo it. I expect the police will be in touch with us as well.” Albert didn’t seem upset at all, which was a little strange. He was concerned, though.

  “I thought you’d be angry,” Robin said.

  “As long as everyone is okay, then we’re good. And that takes care of the asshole ex-boyfriend.”

  Robin sighed. “Yes, it does.”

  “I have to take another call. There are actually people still booking for tours later this summer.” He sounded so damned relieved. “But I have to be honest, I’m not sure if the company will be offering tours next year. Folks are going on their own… or with regular, nongay tours.”

  Robin
wasn’t sure what to say to that. He hadn’t thought that far ahead, but it was probably time he found some other kind of work anyway. He needed to figure some shit out for himself. He really had no idea why this was so hard for him. He spent much of his free time thinking about what he was going to do and why he was holding back.

  Robin hung up and sat in the lobby, ruminating on what had happened and what he had yet to do. He also worried a great deal about Johan but resisted the urge to go check on him. He wanted to give Johan as much a chance to rest as possible.

  Johan came down a half hour before they were to leave, and after Robin made sure Johan was okay—more thoroughly than was probably necessary—Johan went right to the bus. Robin got on once Johan pulled it around. They waited for the others, and then they were off.

  Johan was in pain; Robin saw it on his face, though he said nothing. Once they’d parked at the lot for the castle, Robin led the group down the path, leaving Johan to relax. As soon as they rounded the corner and viewed the castle perched below them on the bluff, a quiet came over the entire group. It was awe-inspiring, not because of its size, but its sheer ancient rustic beauty. This was living history right before them.

  “Once you’ve taken your pictures, I’ll lead you down and set you up with tickets. You tour on a time basis, and we will probably have to wait about an hour.”

  “So we’ll have time for lunch?” Javier asked.

  “Yes. Now, when it’s time to come back, we’ll gather and wait for the shuttle to take us to the parking lot. We’ll be going downhill to get there, so it’s all uphill returning.”

  They walked down and through the castle gate. Robin got tickets for the group and showed them to the café, where everyone gathered in small groups at the tables. Robin sat alone, looking at his phone, surprised he had service at all. After checking the time, he messaged his mother and received an immediate response, so he called.

  “Hey, Mom,” he said quietly, and pressed the button for FaceTime after she told him she had gotten a new iPhone. It was great being able to share this with her. “Look where I am.” He turned away and panned the phone. “You remember?”

  “Yes.” She smiled as he returned her to voice only, not sure how long the other connection would last. “Are you okay? You look tired.”

  “I am. It was a rough night.” He didn’t go into details. His mother would freak, and that wasn’t going to do either of them any good. “Anyway, I wanted to tell you that when the tour season is over, I asked Johan to come back with me so he can meet you.”

  “You did?” she asked with surprise.

  “I like him, Mom, but I’m scared… I guess. I want him to come meet you, and I’m scared he’s going to wake up any day and realize that I’m as dull as dirt and not worth all the heartache that is going to come eventually.” He rambled a little and hoped his mom understood half of what he was saying.

  “Slow down. First, I’m happy, and your father and I would love to meet anyone important in your life. You know that.” She paused, and Robin waited as she gathered her thoughts together. “As for all this heartache stuff… I assume that’s because of the transplant.”

  “Yeah….”

  “Okay. Let me ask you something. If Johan told you he had a disease that meant he was only going to live for a year or two… would you walk away?”

  “No. I love him, Mom, and I’d—”

  “Then why would he?” his mother interrupted, and Robin stopped short. “You definitely need to bring this man home so we can meet him and stop all this worrying. As a kid, you spent more time worrying about what everyone else thought, and we all had to try to figure out what you wanted. Just go after what you want and let the rest go. Johan gets to make his own decisions, just like you do.”

  “So you’re happy for me?” Robin asked as he tried to swallow around the lump in his throat.

  “Of course I am. You deserve love, the same as anyone else, and if this Johan is it, then both your father and I will be happy to welcome him into the family.”

  Billy came over, standing near the table.

  “I have to go, but I’ll call you soon. And thanks. That was just what I needed to hear.”

  “Love you, sweetheart,” his mother said, and then they ended the call.

  Billy asked him a quick question about when they were supposed to be back, then rejoined Kyle.

  Robin sat at the table in the sunshine, the breeze whispering around him, and instantly he wanted to be back on the bus with Johan. He understood now. In many ways Johan was the person he’d always dreamed of: strong, intelligent, brave, patient…. Why wouldn’t he be willing to accept what Robin was able to give?

  Robin bit his lower lip, looking at the rest of the group. They were all talking happily, excitement running through them, something he remembered from the first time he came here.

  “You look ready to fly apart,” Oliver said as he placed his tray on the table and sat. Javier sat across from him. “I hope this is okay. It’s the only table left.”

  “Of course.” Robin pulled his thoughts out of where he wanted to be and returned to where he was. “Just woolgathering.”

  Javier snickered. “I think the entire group knows where your thoughts are right now.” He leaned closer to Oliver. “And none of us would blame you for a second.” He shuffled his chair so he was closer to Oliver. “Being with someone you think the world of is worth it, no matter what.” He sighed softly. “I know Oliver is older, but I intend to see to it that he lives a good long time, because I’ll be damned if I’m going to let him go.”

  Robin screwed up his courage. “Do you mind if I ask you something? What if he told you that he had a disease that will only allow him to live, say, four or six more years? What would you do?”

  Javier swallowed his bite of sausage and looked Robin square in the eye. “The first thing I’d do is hold him tight, and the second would be to ask him to make a list of everything he wanted to see and do. Then we’d start doing all of them together.” Javier took Oliver’s hand. “I wouldn’t waste a moment. I almost made the biggest mistake of my life when things got difficult between us. I won’t let that happen again, and if what you said were to happen, he and I would make as many memories as possible and enjoy whatever time we have left.” Javier set down his plastic fork. “I take it that one of you—”

  Robin nodded. “There is only so much time.”

  “Then why are you wasting it sitting here wishing you were with him? Go on back to the bus. Oliver and I know what we have to do, and we’ll get everyone back up there.” He pointed toward the road. “The shuttle stops there, and our tour is in half an hour right through there.”

  “Be sure to go through the treasury as well. It’s stunning and contains some of the most beautiful pieces from the castle.” Robin was glad Mason wasn’t with them. He could only imagine how worried he’d be with him in there.

  “We aren’t going to miss anything. Now go. It’s fine.”

  Oliver and Javier shooed him away, and Robin walked across the bridge to the shuttle stop and took it back to the parking area. Johan sat on the bus, his head back and eyes closed. He hated to disturb him but knocked softly on the door. Johan opened it, and Robin got on board.

  “What are you doing here? Are they done?” Johan sat up and looked ready for business.

  Robin leaned down, kissing him hard. Johan stiffened, and Robin pressed more firmly, his tongue searching for entrance as he cupped Johan’s rough cheeks.

  “I take it not.” Johan chuckled as Robin backed away a little.

  “No. They have their tour in twenty minutes. I wanted to be up here with you. Oliver and Javier will make sure everyone makes it back to the bus.” He was tempted to sit in Johan’s lap, but he didn’t want to hurt him.

  “So you came back here to keep me company?” Johan’s smile told Robin he was pleased.

  “Yes, and to tell you that I love you.” Robin sat in the seat behind Johan, who joined him, sitting thigh to thigh. �
��I’m sorry I’ve been so thickheaded.” He gently rubbed Johan’s uninjured arm. “I talked to my mom, and she told me that she’s looking forward to meeting you. She said that I needed to be happy.” He met Johan’s gaze. “I always thought she’d be angry if I didn’t stay at home, but she surprised me.”

  “Is she why you’re here now?”

  Robin shook his head. “I’m here because I want to be happy. I’m not scared anymore. At least I’m not scared for me. And I guess I can let you be scared for you.” He held Johan’s arm, resting his head on his shoulder. “You’re a hero. You rescued me from Mason, and you rescued my heart from cold disuse.” Robin sniffed and wiped his eyes with his free hand.

  Johan turned to him, confused. “Why do you think that?”

  “I was given a new heart…. In a way, I get to borrow the rest of someone else’s time, and I figure I should make the most of it. I was worried that I would hurt whoever I loved. I was always concentrating on the negative.” He sighed. “That’s so fucking easy to do.”

  Johan scoffed. “For you, maybe.” He was teasing, and it was nice… in a way.

  “For most of us who aren’t perfect knights in shining armor, being positive is hard.”

  Johan put an arm around his shoulder, and Robin nestled close for a while. “I know you’ve been through a lot of pretty unfair things. But….”

  “I know. You decided you’d be happy and that was that.” Robin knew it probably wasn’t that simple.

  “No. I almost died too once.”

  Robin pulled away, glaring at him. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

  Johan rolled his eyes. “I wanted you to like me for me… not because we had some supposedly life-changing experience in common. See, I liked you before I knew what you’d been through, and I wanted you to like me the same way.” He shrugged and rolled his eyes as though that was so obvious.

  “Man, I think you’re going to surprise me when I’m eighty,” Robin quipped, and Johan stared at him, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open. “What?”

  “That’s the first time you have ever mentioned growing old. You always say that will never happen.” Johan touched the underside of his chin. “You always take care of yourself and you are active. You eat right, and maybe you are the person who lives for decades.”