Logan turned the car around so that he would have to drive by her house once more before heading to the coffee shop down the street. “There’s nothing to do.”
“Logan, I’m your best friend, but also your coworker. It’s not okay to stalk her like this. Take some time off,” Matt said, stepping from the vehicle. “It’s been over a month.”
Restlessness moved within him, growing in capacity, mounting his frustration, stretching his doubt. He snatched the keys from the ignition and stormed from the cruiser to the restaurant.
When did his concern for Addison become stalking? Why did everything have to remind him of Addison? Everything was going so perfectly.
He refused to believe she only thought of him as a friend.
The chemistry flowing between them wasn’t one-sided. Her reaction, the emotion, was more real than anything he’d ever felt. And made his decision to leave her standing there even more unbearable.
After regulating his breathing from the sharp memory of those last moments, and his internal lecture beating him down for the hundredth time, his attention jerked back to reality.
That couldn’t be the only reason. It had to be Philip. She wasn’t over him. And he knew deep down that was his reason for driving by her house every night. He had to know if Philip was hanging around her house. Spending time with her. Taking his place.
When his shift ended at the break of dawn, he drove toward his apartment but had no desire to see anyone. He worked every available hour, took extra shifts, a part-time position at a local high school for summer school. From sundown to sunup, then noon through the evening he worked, then slept, then worked.
But now it was Saturday morning, and there was no school today. His roommates would be home.
Slamming his fists against the steering wheel, he pulled to a stop at the intersection. He turned the truck and headed to his mom’s. At least there, in his old bedroom, he could have some privacy.
Ami met him at the door. “What are you doing here?”
“Am I not allowed to come here either?”
She took a step back, her brows crinkled. “What’s wrong with you?”
He pushed past her. “Nothing. I just want to be alone.”
“Why, so you can sulk? Why don’t you just call her already?”
He turned and glared at his sister, but seeing tears in her eyes, he bit his tongue. He grabbed Ami and pulled her into a hug. “I’m sorry. I’m just a little touchy.”
She sobbed against him, and he took a deep, pained breath.
“Please call her. This isn’t right. You’re so angry.” She hicupped. “And she doesn’t sound like herself anymore. She looks so sad. I don’t understand. What happened?”
He braced himself. “Ami, I can’t talk about this. I’m sorry. I just came here to be alone. I worked all night and need some sleep. I’ll see you later, okay?” He jogged up the stairs, leaving her standing in the hall.
“Well, I think you’re both stupid.”
Her words replayed in his mind over and over for the entire afternoon, until he believed it himself. Why hadn’t he called her? Why hadn’t he tried to find out the real reason she no longer wanted to see him?
Addison frowned at the bright puffy clouds scattered across the blue sky like patches of white cotton candy. Rain and dark brooding clouds would suit her mood much better.
“Hey.” Taylor sat on the swing next to her. “Are you working tonight?”
“No, this is my only day off this week.”
“Good, you need a day off. You need to get out of this house.”
“I’m supposed to go to Ami’s today.”
Taylor’s gaze rose, along with her curious smile. “Ami Tant?”
“I should call her and cancel. What if I run into Logan?”
“So, what if you do? I wish you would run into him. That’s what you want, to be with him.” Her voice was exceptionally compassionate. “Talk to him. He deserves at least that.”
Addison stiffened in anticipation. It had been over a month since she’d spoken to Logan. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“I don’t know what happened between you two, but I know you’re in love with him. I’ve never seen you this way over anyone. You might as well admit it. I am your best friend.”
Addison laughed, a quick throaty sound. Her first laugh in over a month. “The night Philip was waiting for me when I came home—”
Taylor leaned back against her chair, her eyebrows furrowed.
“He was waiting outside, around the corner. He saw me kissing Logan.” Addison studied the wood planks beneath her feet. She stared at the cracks so hard, they started moving. Clearing her vision, she glanced beyond the yard where the water shimmered in the sunlight. Her resolve to tell her the whole truth collapsed with each second.
“So, it’s none of his business. You did nothing wrong. Go to Ami’s, and I hope Logan shows up.”
Addison aimed her gaze at Taylor. The truth of that night was better left in the past. It would only strip away at hardened scabs and expose fresh wounds to more pain. Staying silent and pretending it had never happened would help her heal faster.
A single thought circulated in slow motion like the clouds shifting across the sky, all sensible doubt dissolving.
What if Logan was there?
31
The sun had already dipped beyond the trees when Addison finally found the nerve to drive to the Tants’. It had been so long since she’d been there. With her stomach in knots, she parked at the curb just like she had that first time.
A light breeze whipped her hair around her shoulders as she climbed from the car. And in that breeze, she could almost smell Logan’s grill burning charcoal from the back yard. But it wasn’t. Logan wasn’t here. And a sharp sting of disappointment spiraled through her chest.
Nathan met her at the door. “Addison.” He stepped outside and, after closing the door, pulled her into a warm embrace.
Seeing him brought back a rush of dark memories. She clung to him for only a moment before pulling away. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here.”
“Just visiting for a few hours before I head back home to Raleigh.” His worried gaze zeroed in on her. “How are you?”
“I’m okay.” She paused, not wanting to ask the next question, but it was unavoidable. “You didn’t—”
He stopped her before she could finish and took her hand. “No, of course not. Did you press charges?” At the mention of the crime, Nathan’s face softened.
Addison blinked into the darkening sky. “I don’t live in the same kind of world as you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Your family. My family. It’s as if they’re from different planets. My mama is too self-absorbed to care about anything that happens to me.” And my stepdaddy’s too drunk. Her past was a piece of her she kept buried. But she had just given away a snippet to a man who was like a brother. A brother that came from a family she wanted to call her own.
Nathan considered her with a baffled expression. “I don’t believe that. Surely your mom would—”
“My aunt ... she’s done so much for me ... I could never ask her to return from her trip. Besides, it doesn’t matter.”
“Of course, it matters.”
“He probably doesn’t remember.” She emphasized the phrase to affirm the truth for herself. “It’s better to just forget.”
“We will support you.”
“I can’t, Nathan.” The countless hours she’d contemplated a charge against Philip had left her on edge and always with the same conclusion. “I really appreciate you being there for me. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t found me.” To steady herself, she placed a hand against the railing. “Please just let it go.”
“What about Logan?”
“What about him?”
“I’ve never seen him this way. You distancing yourself has almost killed him. Talk to him.”
The engine of a truck roared, and she glanced
absentmindedly. Logan’s Silverado pulled into the driveway. The sight of him sucked the air from her lungs. “I don’t know if I can do this.”
“Don’t let that monster steal all your joy. Give Logan a chance.”
In the wake of Nathan’s words, silence fell between them as she considered his advice.
“I’ll wait here and talk to him.”
“Good,” Nathan said as he stepped past her and entered the house as the sound of the truck’s engine faded.
Addison tried to imagine a life where nothing had happened, and they could pick up where they had left off. But she had glimpsed a world where darkness could slash through your hopes and dreams and leave you shattered and broken.
Logan’s heart raced seeing Addison standing on his parents’ front porch. Immediately he was transported to a time when his days of anticipation of being with her weren’t laced with an uncomfortable longing and sorrow.
He stayed in the truck, every fiber of his being silently indulging in her presence. When Nathan walked inside, Addison didn’t. She stood there, waiting for him.
Logan climbed from the truck, confused and physically aching at the sight of her. She had lost weight and looked weak, as if she could tumble over at the slightest flutter of wind.
“Logan, I—”
All logic abandoned him, and he surrendered to his first instinct. He went to her and, without restraint, wrapped her inside his arms. He was admitting to himself, to her, that he couldn’t live without her. That it didn’t matter if something was still going on between her and Philip.
“I’m sorry,” she cried, her voice crushed, broken.
He clung tighter, unable to let go. “I’ve missed you so much.”
Pulling her only a few inches away, he tilted his head to get a better look at her. Her apprehension ruffled his insides. In her silence, he studied her closer. She swayed, her stance shaky, as if she would shatter into a thousand pieces. “Are you okay?”
Tears trickled down her cheeks. “I just—”
There was more, but she stopped. He had been so worried. Had been unable to get a full night’s sleep for weeks. Whatever had happened had devastated her.
Maybe it had something to do with her parents. Everything had been fine that night before she went to see her mother. A longing, wistful smile had filled her face as he drove away. He had replayed that image a thousand times over the last few weeks. The words to his question hung on the tip of his tongue, but he didn’t want to impose, to push her further away.
There was something in her gaze, a storm brewing behind those eyes. Their undeniable connection nearly brought him to his knees.
Suddenly, she said, “Does this mean we can still be friends?”
Friends? The muscle in his jaw tightened. “Of course.” He rubbed the back of his neck, his thoughts on all the reasons he couldn’t let her go. The temptation to demand an explanation faded. The main thing was her presence. Nothing else mattered, he tried telling himself, sharing the small area of space with her. “Did I do something?”
“No, Logan, you have been so good to me. If only I ... I don’t deserve—”
It made no sense. What did her parents have to do with their relationship? He knew hardly anything about them. Why hadn’t he asked more questions?
It had to be Philip. Or maybe it was all him. But her response didn’t match her body language that was clearly screaming I need you. “Do you want to come in?”
“Yes, Ami’s expecting me.”
Ami. She was here to see his sister, not him. But she was here. And that was all that mattered.
He glanced at his twin brother as they entered the house, his brother’s darkened gaze full of questions.
Addison ran up the stairs to Ami’s room, leaving him standing there, his hands clasped behind his back, his heart breaking for her.
“How did it go?”
Logan forced a smile. “She still just wants to be friends.”
“Oh, man.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Maybe she just needs time.”
“For what?” Logan registered the way Nathan excused her actions as if he knew more than he was saying. And something twisted in his gut. “How would you know anything about this?”
“I’m just trying to help.”
Logan grabbed a Coke from the refrigerator and twisted off the top. “She just wants to be friends and that’s that.” It was likely that would never be enough for his heart. He took a long drink of the beverage. “Being friends is better than nothing right?”
Logan cringed at the words and nothing about them made sense. But he had no choice. The last few weeks had been torture. Remaining friends would be better than not seeing her at all.
When Ami brought her downstairs for a few minutes, Logan kept his distance. Every time Addison caught his gaze, her cheeks flamed a deep pink, her shy smile filled with regret. Her eyes were warm and intimate, and his stomach fluttered with each glance.
Ami dragged her back upstairs after a few minutes, and he shoved aside wasted thoughts. She was here now, and she was safe.
Eventually she’d give in and talk to him. And he would do the only thing he could. He would wait.
Logan followed Nathan to his truck. “Just give her some time. She’ll come around.”
Logan narrowed his eyes. “What makes you say that?”
“I see the way she looks at you. What can I say? I know women better than you.” Nathan punched him in the arm. “Trust me, Logan. Be patient with her, just like you were today. I was actually proud of you.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“I’ve never seen you act this way. Not even over Carrie.”
Logan flinched. It was still hard hearing her name. “Carrie was different. I spent most of my time worrying what she was doing and who she was doing it with.”
Nathan frowned. “I never meant to hurt you, Logan. I was tired of seeing her hurt you.”
Logan’s stomach tensed. “Were you together that night?”
“No, I would never do that to you. I despised her. I only wanted you to catch her, so you’d know the truth—so that you could move on. I’m sorry it ended the way it did. It wasn’t your fault, Logan.”
Painful memories emerged and he brushed them away as Nathan pulled him into a quick hug. “You’re my brother. I love you, man.”
He glanced up at Ami’s bedroom window and caught a glimpse of Addison standing there staring down at him.
He wanted to rush upstairs, to steal her away, to hold her in his arms, but he couldn’t. He entered the house and with each step asked himself—how would this ever be enough?
32
“What do you think of this one?”
Addison moved away from the window, glad for the distraction. “I like that.”
Ami wore white pants with a black sleeveless top that hung lower in the back, flowing as she twirled in front of the mirror. She looked delicate in the lamplight, her blond hair teased for volume and bundled into a messy pile on top of her head.
Addison sat on the white lacy comforter covering Ami’s bed thankful for their friendship.
The only reminder of the accident was a tiny pink scar on Ami’s forehead. A scar that wasn’t even noticeable unless you were looking for it. “What time is Zach picking you up?”
Ami applied a thin layer of clear lip gloss, the shine matching the sparkle in her light gray eye shadow. “I’m not going with Zach.”
“Really?”
“I mean, he’s going. A group of our friends are all going.” She lowered her gaze. “There’s a new guy.”
“A new guy?”
For a wonderful few minutes, they talked about something ordinary, while Ami fussed over her makeup, reapplying powder and mascara. In those minutes, Addison escaped the constant turbulence of her thoughts.
“Yeah, he’s really cute. I met him at a homeschooling event. I think he likes me.” Ami walked across the room with a confident swing of her hips
, a confidence that Addison was sure stemmed from a secure, tight-knit family.
“What about Zach? I thought you liked him.”
Ami sulked, her lips puckered. “I do, but what does it matter? He treats me like a little sister.”
Addison nodded in understanding. “Don’t worry. Sometimes it takes longer for guys to catch on.”
“Tell me about it. I can’t wait on that boy forever.”
Ami sprayed a mist of perfume and the floral fragrance lingered in the air, mixing with the clean, delicate scent of the Tants’ home. The same scent that clung to Logan.
“Where are you going?”
“Carolina Beach Amusement Park.” Ami sat on the bed next to her, the bounce of her landing bringing them so close they were touching. “Will you come with us?”
“Me?” Addison swallowed the knot forming in her throat as Ami rested her head on Addison’s shoulder. “I don’t want to intrude on your group thing.”
“Are you kidding me? I want you there. I’ve missed you so much.”
Addison knew exactly how she felt. She’d missed her too. She’d missed all of them. “I guess I can.”
“Oh, thank you, Addison. Do you think it would work if I acted like I like Maverick a little? You know, to make Zach jealous?”
Addison ran her fingers over the lacy material of the bed spread. “Jealousy is the last thing you want in a boy you’re dating. It might seem flattering at first, but it has nothing to do with the way he feels about you as a person. Jealousy leads a person to do things he wouldn’t normally do ... sometimes really terrible things.”
“I’ve never thought about it that way. Besides, I wouldn’t want to use Maverick. He’s really a nice guy, and I do like him.” Ami’s cheeks scrunched with her smile. “Oh, by the way, Logan’s coming too.”
Addison’s pulse raced in an uneven rhythm and she stood. “Ami, I don’t think—”
“It won’t be like that. You’ll be with me.”
“But you don’t understand.”
“Yes, I do. You’re in love with him, even though you can’t be with him for some reason. You don’t have to explain. It’s none of my business. But please come with me, Addison.”
Shattered Treasure Page 19