“Are you having a baby?”
Addison covered her mouth. “What?”
“You look like my mom. She’s having a boy.”
Addison couldn’t speak. She only stared at the precious child who waited for an answer.
“Addison Morgan.” Taylor called from across the room and she sighed in relief.
She pulled the child into a hug. “I’m so happy for you. How exciting it will be to have a baby brother!” She pulled her blouse away from her midsection as she strode across the auditorium to her friend.
Addison pulled Taylor into a hug. “Hey, you made it.”
“I wouldn’t miss this for the world. And you look good.” Taylor gave her a crooked grin. “How’re you feeling?”
“Today’s a good day.”
They walked away arm in arm, Taylor filling her in about how nothing had changed in Wilmington, and how she hadn’t seen or heard anything from Philip and there was no news about Logan or his family either.
“You should call him.”
“I’m not calling him,” Addison told her, though not a single day had passed that she hadn’t considered it.
“When are you coming home?”
“I’ll be home for Christmas, but I have to be careful. I can’t take a chance of running into Philip.” The menacing thought wormed into the hollow of her mind.
Taylor frowned as if sensing her sadness. “Nothing’s been the same without you.”
“I’m sure you’re so busy with what’s-his-name, you haven’t missed me a bit.”
Taylor placed her left hand on her arm. “His name is Michael and even though he’s perfect, I’ve missed you like crazy.”
Addison’s mouth hung open, the diamond sparkling on Taylor’s finger almost blinding her. “You’re engaged? When did this happen?”
“Last night. You should know you would be the first to know.”
“Oh, Taylor, I’m so happy for you.”
“You can have this too.” That calming smile of Taylor’s expanded. “And I still believe it will be with Logan.”
“You’re not going to do this again, are you?”
“It’s not fair what Philip did to you. But I know God wants happiness for you. Look how far you’ve come? You’re so strong and I’m so proud of you.”
“Thank you, Taylor. I could’ve never made it through this time without him or you.”
The cold wind whipped through Logan’s hair when he opened the door.
“Hey, li’l bro. You ready to bust this joint?”
Logan clasped his brother’s shoulder. “Are you ever going to grow up?”
“Not if I don’t have to.”
In the parking lot below, Logan searched for Nathan’s car.
“Where’d you park?” Logan turned to find Nathan standing in front of a black Mustang. Nathan hit the automatic car lock button and the head lights flashed. “You didn’t.”
“I did. Climb in.” Nathan opened the door and slid onto the black leather seat. “What are you waiting for? I’m not opening the door for you.”
He did a thorough scan before climbing in. The scent of leather filled the small space and Logan rubbed his fingers against the soft material and sighed.
“It was love at first sight.”
Logan flinched as if physically slapped. Did everything have to remind him of Addison? “Why did you have to get all the good luck in this family?”
“Me? You’re the lucky one. If you’d just let me explain.”
Logan opened the car door. “Don’t or I’ll get out.”
“Okay, okay. Don’t be so touchy.”
Logan slammed the door harder than he’d intended, his emotions raging. “Not one word about her, Nathan.”
Defeated, Nathan hung his head. “How’s Ami? Does she like her classes?”
“I don’t know. She never talks to me anymore.”
Nathan smirked and set the car in reverse. He floored the gas, squealing out of the parking lot, throwing Logan’s head back. A rebuke was on the tip of his tongue, but he fought the urge and stayed silent.
A mile down the road, Nathan punched him in the shoulder. “You got the tickets, right?”
Logan lifted the wallet from his khaki’s and slipped two square cards from the pocket. “One for you and one for me.”
Nathan howled. “Friday night football.”
On the first day of Christmas break, Addison drove the short distance to Charlotte Avery’s house after getting the news, a week ago, that she’d had her baby.
There was something nerve-wracking about visiting a mother who’d had a baby, a mother who could keep her baby, a mother who didn’t have to hide her pregnancy. Especially when nothing about her own pregnancy was certain.
A great part of her hesitancy was her fear that seeing Charlotte’s child would somehow make her feel even closer to the one she carried. Make her want to keep her baby instead of giving to another family who couldn’t conceive one of their own.
She pulled into the driveway, past the mailbox still decorated with limp pink ribbons.
Charlotte’s husband answered the door, and a rush of warm air from inside mingled with the icy air surrounding her. “Come on in. It’s freezing out there.”
“Thank you.” Addison walked into the living room and set her wrapped gift on the table before removing her heavy coat and gloves.
Charlotte didn’t say anything; she only smiled, the kind of smile that brightened her whole face.
The infant, bundled in her mother’s arms, made a soft sucking sound as she searched for her tiny fingers.
Addison took a seat on the couch next to Charlotte, leaned closer, and tilted forward to get a better look at her tiny face. Charlotte twisted slightly, placing the baby into Addison’s unsteady arms.
“She’s so beautiful, so perfect,” Addison said as tears she’d hadn’t known were there dripped onto the pink blanket. The baby’s gentle coos strengthened in volume as her mouth opened a fraction. Addison’s short burst of laughter blended with the sob at the back of her throat. “I’m so happy for you.”
Addison placed a soft kiss on the infant’s warm head; her scent, so soft and sweet, was something she’d never forget.
While Addison attempted to amuse the baby with various expressions, Charlotte retrieved the gift from the table. Charlotte carefully tore away the pink wrap adorned with a gray elephant and, lifting the box lid, she pulled out the tiny dress. “Aw, it’s beautiful.”
Addison smiled, when truthfully, shopping for Charlotte’s baby had been one of the hardest things she’d ever done. Mourning the loss of her baby had begun months ago, the moment it was confirmed. Then shopping for things, she would never be able to buy for her own baby deepened her grief with a sharpness she never expected.
“Have you thought of any names yet?”
The question stiffened Addison’s shoulders again. Even though the answer hung on the tip of her tongue for weeks now. Sophia Rose. The name had come to her hours after the nurse accidentely told her the sex of her baby during an ultrasound.
Charlotte held the dress up for several seconds before folding it gently and placing it on top of the box. “I hope you have a girl, because I can share so many things with you. You may not have to buy anything.”
Clearing her throat, Addison scrambled to maintain her smile, when it took everything within her not to burst into a harsh, blubbering cry. It was only then that she’d realized how much she wanted to keep the baby growing inside her.
Addison arrived back at her small rental house just as the first flurries fell. Within two hours, snow covered everything, creating a white wonderland with the usual traffic ceasing. Addison somberly listened, over the next few mornings, to the sound of children playing and laughing as they sledded down narrow sidewalks. Their voices were filled with joy at being given the gift of a white Christmas.
Addison herself would normally be thrilled to see a snowfall like this, but the condition of her own heart was dreary
and gray. It dangled over her like a black cloud, stripping the joy from any circumstance. The snowfall had stolen her gift of being able to go home a few days. Phone calls, texts and FaceTime would never compare to warm hugs and face-to-face conversations.
When Addison was finally able to return to school a week later, she hoped the shadow of gloom dangling over her would dissipate. She prayed being around her children would drown out the whispers of her broken heart. It had been the loneliest Christmas of her life. And it wasn’t until yesterday that the temperature had warmed up enough to melt the icy roads just in time for school to resume as scheduled.
“Addison Morgan?” someone called as she stepped from her car.
She stared at the young man facing her. Was she supposed to know him? “Yes?”
“I’m McKenzie Richards. I’m taking Mrs. Avery’s kindergarten class while she’s out on maternity leave.” He offered his hand.
“Oh, but I was expecting a…”
“A woman to take her place. Don’t worry, you’re not the first one.”
She pulled at her shirt smiling sheepishly. “I’m sorry. It’s nice to meet you.”
“So, this is your first year?” His voice was loud and enthusiastic.
Addison reached down to lift the box of books. “Yes, my first year.”
A crooked grin filled his lips. “I saw you on campus. UNC Wilmington, right?”
“Yes.” Her surprise at them graduating from the same school leaked into her voice. “You graduated this year? Or last year since it’s the new year?” She laughed.
“Last year.”
“Okay.” She gave him a sideways glance and smiled and so did he.
“Here, let me.” He lifted the awkwardly shaped box effortlessly from her hands. “Where to?”
“To my room, but I can manage.”
He shook his head. “Lead the way. I don’t mind at all.”
She reached her classroom and opened the door, allowing him to pass through. “I really appreciate your help.”
“A pregnant lady should never have to carry anything when a capable man is anywhere nearby.”
He glanced at her ring finger and Addison felt the heat rushing up her neck. “Thank you again, Mr. Richards, for your help.”
He took a step toward the door. “It was no trouble at all and please call me McKenzie.”
Addison’s mind whirled. Something about him seemed oddly familiar.
He returned a moment later, clinging to a folder. “Oh, I’ve spoken with Charlotte and she gave me her outline. Could you walk me through it? She said you worked out the details together.”
“Of course.”
His deep brown eyes studied her every move as he slid a chair next to her desk.
“You’ll go through the schedule as planned out.”
“Do you follow this schedule as well?”
“Yes, and we go to break and lunch at the same time.”
“Great, so if I have any questions, I’ll be able to ask you.” He paused, leaning back. “I must admit, I’m a little nervous. Me against twenty-two five-year-olds. It seems a bit overwhelming.”
“Yes, but you’ll have Miss Davis assisting you. She’s great.”
“Well, Addison ...” He propped his elbows on the table and leaned forward. “Is it okay if I call you that?”
“Yes, of course.”
“You’ve been a great help to me. I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to repay you.”
A nervous laugh fell from her lips. “Don’t be silly. We all have to help each other occasionally. You just watch, I’ll be asking you for help before you know it.”
“I’ll be looking forward to it.”
She stood as children filtered in and placed coats and lunchboxes in their cubbies. “Class starts in a few minutes, but we can finish at lunch. If you have any questions or need anything—”
“Thank you, Addison. I’ll see you at lunch.”
At the end of the day, Addison started her car and the song playing on the radio caused an audible gasp to slip from her throat. Why did her mind insist on returning to thoughts of Logan over and over throughout the day? Her heart was still breaking as if she had just seen him yesterday.
It occurred to her that there was little comfort in being the one to end things even when it was for the right reasons. Instead, the pain seemed deeper, more irrational. She caught herself having unspoken arguments with herself more than once that maybe she’d made a mistake. But then her sensible self would always win.
Logan had probably moved on and never even thought of her anymore. She glanced at the clock on the dashboard, another full lonely evening stretching out before her.
If only she could forget him.
41
The first few weeks of the new year brought more cold weather with long dreary days. With each kick, the baby grew stronger as she weakened in her determination to give this baby to another family. And by the end of January, there was no hiding her pregnancy from anyone.
Addison hadn’t been to Aunt Brenda’s house since before Christmas and couldn’t wait any longer to see her. Even though she was taking a huge risk, she took off on her trek to Wilmington the first weekend of February after a long, exhausting day of school. Five minutes before she reached her aunt’s house, her phone rang. Aunt Brenda had forgotten the dressing and asked if she would mind picking some up.
The grocery store was nearly empty this time of day. It was a good thing. Addison was ready to get to the warmth and comfort of Aunt Brenda’s and was in no mood for running into anyone she might know.
After making the quick purchase, she looked both ways before crossing the parking lot. She hurried to reach her car, when a familiar voice called her name. “Addison?”
Panicked, she picked up her stride, hoping her pursuer would realize he had been mistaken in his recognition and leave her alone.
“Hey, Addison, wait up.” The sound of his voice drew closer and she could no longer ignore the familiarity. Little could be done now so she turned. “McKenzie, what in the world are you doing here?”
He took the last few steps, closing the gap between them. “I’m visiting a friend this weekend. What about you?”
“My aunt lives here. I’m visiting too.”
“I’m so glad I ran into you.” He took her bag. “I was hoping to talk to you after school, but you got out of there so fast.”
“Yeah, trying to avoid the five o’clock traffic.” She kept walking, dodging a vehicle backing out. Taking her bag from him, she dropped it onto her back seat. “What did you want to talk about?”
“The Valentine’s party is Wednesday and I wondered if maybe”—he took a step closer—“you and I could work together on the preparations. Maybe have dinner and discuss the plans or whatever.”
Addison leaned against the car. “I already have plans for dinner, and my best friend will want the rest of my time. But sure, we can do that. It will make things easier. We’ll get together Monday. I’ve already sent a treat list home with the kids.”
“Yeah, me too. Okay, I’ll see you Monday then.” He reached across, opening her door. “Take care and be careful in this storm.”
“Thanks, McKenzie, you too.”
Logan had stood motionless at the end of the aisle as the young woman grabbed a bottle of salad dressing. She had glanced over her shoulder after making her purchase and in that one moment his world rocked on its axis.
It was her.
With slow steps he walked through the automatic doors, his heart wrenching in agony. She had to be at least seven months pregnant. Why hadn’t she told him? Was it Philip’s? Suddenly the last time he saw her, the night he found her at Nathan’s, came rushing back. No, it couldn’t be Nathan’s.
No.
The sky darkened and a flash of lightening lit the clouds.
A conceited smile filled the guy’s face, the guy she’d been talking to, when he turned to run across the parking lot and reached his car just before the skies op
ened.
Rain fell from the heavens, drenching Logan within seconds.
Unable to move, he stared as Addison’s white Camry backed out of the parking space and turned in his direction. She drove slowly, her windshield wipers clearing the heavy raindrops away. She reached the end of the row in front of him and she stopped.
Their eyes met and hers widened before she drove slowly toward the exit and out of his view.
Addison parked in Aunt Brenda’s driveway, her hands trembling. How could I drive away and leave him standing there? His shocked look could only mean one thing. He hadn’t known.
Pulling herself together she collected her bag, walked inside, and collapsed in her aunt’s arms. “What’s wrong?”
“I saw him.”
“Who?”
“Logan. He saw me. He was just standing there in the pouring rain, staring at me.” Seeing him made her want to go to him, to selfishly soothe her aching heart. Addison sat on the couch, lowering her head. “He didn’t know.”
“What do you mean, he didn’t know?”
“That I’m pregnant. I never told him.” This revelation had somehow given her hope. Made her forget why she had done such a foolish thing as giving him up.
Aunt Brenda sat in the recliner across from her, resting her fingers against her knees. “Was Nathan supposed to tell Logan?”
“No, but I thought he would.” Just as quickly as the hope had taken root, it decomposed. “He isn’t going to understand why I never said anything. I can only imagine what he must be thinking.”
“I’m wondering the same thing myself.”
Heat flushed Addison’s cheeks. “I couldn’t take that chance. I had more to consider than just myself. With Logan being a cop, he wouldn’t understand why I didn’t press charges.” Had she been wrong all along. “If Philip knew this baby was his ... well, what if he tries to take the baby?”
“Maybe you should call Logan and explain? I have a feeling he would understand.”
Addison slumped into the couch.
“Why don’t you rest for a bit while I finish dinner.” Aunt Brenda walked into the kitchen as Addison carried her overnight bag to the bedroom.
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