To be sure, I had had a strange moment here and there when I’d stopped to think that I slept in the same bed that had once belonged to the king’s mistress. But I had told myself that was some time ago, and of course they had changed the bedding since. I did think it strange that she had not taken her jewels with her when she left the palace, though. I said as much to the duchess, who shrugged.
“Oh, she took some, I think. What she left behind were the pieces she did not care for, I suppose. It does surprise me that she would have left this piece behind, however. But she was quite fair, and perhaps she thought it did not suit her coloring very well.”
All that seemed very strange to me. Although the pendant Tobyn had made was far more beautiful, still the other items in the collection were lovely, far more elegant and expensive than anything I had ever imagined wearing. “What happened to her?”
Something in my tone must have alarmed the duchess, for she said hastily, “Why, nothing at all, Annora. That is, the king would not marry her, and she knew she did not have many years left before she would have difficulty finding a husband. And so she set her sights on the Earl of Ronnisleth, and after she wed him, they left the capital. They do not often come to court, which I think should not surprise anyone.”
Those who were used to such behavior would not be surprised, I supposed. True, the world of the king’s court had always seemed as far removed from me and my life as the very stars in the sky. It was obvious enough to me that they were far more worldly about such matters than I. My parents had always impressed on me that a woman’s virtue was her greatest treasure. This Ilendra did not seem to care that she had given it over to the king, and the man she had married must not have cared, either. Or perhaps such matters were different when the king himself was involved. There were so many things about court life I did not know or understand, and in that moment I was not sure I wished to.
“Oh,” I responded, my tone flat.
Apparently misjudging my reaction, the duchess said, “You must not be jealous, for of course that was several years before he met you.”
I opened my mouth to correct her misconception, then decided it would be better if I said nothing. For if the duchess thought I suffered from jealousy over the king’s past affairs, then she would most likely believe I had some feelings for him. I must do what I could to let that lie survive and flourish, for only by fooling everyone around me would I buy the time necessary to free myself from this hideous predicament.
“Yes, of course,” I said, with the faintest of sighs.
Her eyes narrowed slightly, and then she gave a slight nod, as if pleased by my response. In that moment, I felt sure that she had been sent here to be as much a spy as a friend and confidant. Once his pride in his cleverness had begun to wear off, the king had probably realized that my response to his proposal — if one could even call it that, since no question had actually been asked of me — lacked somewhat in enthusiasm.
“Anyway,” she went on, tone brisk again, “I don’t recall ever seeing Ilendra wearing a pendant such as this one, and I am sure I would have noticed.”
That I did believe; even on my short acquaintance with her, I could tell that the Lady Shelenna had eyes like a hawk. “Perhaps it was not hers, but somehow got mixed in with the items she left behind?”
The duchess nodded reluctantly. “That seems the most likely explanation, although one would think that if anyone had such a piece go missing, they would have commented on it. Ah, well, some mysteries are never fully explained. It is a lovely bauble, though, and we will have to see if Master Slade can make you matching ring and earrings, and a diadem as well, so you have an entire parure. At the moment, that pendant looks somewhat lonely with nothing to match it.”
Again, I could but nod. I had worn the pendant with the gold filigree ear drops in the collection, and certainly had thought nothing lacking. But then, I had very little experience of the styles and tastes of court, let alone the wealth required to support them.
One by one, she began to put all the pieces of jewelry back in the box, then fastened the lid on it. After calling Felinda back over to return the jewel box to its place in my wardrobe, the duchess rose, glinting skirts falling gracefully around her as she did so.
“It is a start, but there is nothing here that would be suitable for you to wear on your wedding day. Since we settled on the pale blush brocade for your gown, perhaps pearls? I will speak to His Majesty and request that we would like to see if any of the late queen’s pieces might work.”
“Oh, no,” I blurted out. “I could not possibly wear anything of hers.” Bad enough that I should be forced to marry King Elsdon, but to do so while wearing jewels that had belonged to his late wife? My mind recoiled at the thought.
The duchess gave me a curious look. “Whyever not? It is fitting that you should wear them. After all, you yourself will be the queen very soon.”
“I — I would not wish to do anything disrespectful — ”
“There is nothing disrespectful in the idea at all. Queen Nerissa has been gone these five years, and she certainly has no more need of those earrings and necklaces and diadems. Truly, it is no more than you deserve, Annora. You will be the queen. Never forget that.”
After uttering that foreboding pronouncement, she took herself off, leaving me to contemplate my fate. Yes, if Tobyn and I could not come up with some sort of plan, I would be the queen.
And may the gods have mercy on me.
Chapter 15
Although I dined alone that night, the experience was far different from eating off a tray in the salon in my previous suite. Here there was a separate dining chamber, albeit a rather small one, with a table that seated six. Felinda and her companion, a girl barely my age named Vianna, brought my supper to me course by course, although the food was barely lukewarm by the time I got it. These new apartments must be farther from the palace’s kitchen. Not that it mattered much, as I could barely choke down a few forkfuls of the roast pheasant and the braised root vegetables. I knew I must eat something to keep my strength up, but my appetite had quite deserted me.
At least my two serving girls were too cowed being in the presence of the future queen to make any sort of comment on my barely touched plates. In silence they gathered up the uneaten food and took it away. I experienced a pang of guilt at such waste, although I knew I most likely would have made myself ill if I had attempted to force any more food down.
Then it was time for them to help me out of the heavy gown I wore, the boned stays and thick linen petticoats. Felinda braided my hair while Vianna put away my garments and shoes, and then at last it was time for me to retire for the night.
I told them to leave a candle burning on the bedside table, explaining that it would help me to feel more comfortable in my new surroundings. They only nodded and went out, closing the door behind them. I could not feel alone then, though, not truly, for I knew they would only be going to their own chamber next to mine. As far as I could tell, I would have no reason to get up in the night, for my spinning wheel had not even been brought to me here. Where it was being kept, I did not know. Perhaps the king had already had it removed to his own suite, or perhaps it still waited for me down in the apartments I had occupied until this morning. Either way, there was no study here where Tobyn might come to me.
Since there was little else I could do, I plumped up the pillows and rested my head against them. They smelled faintly of lavender, soothing and sweet. In that moment I realized how truly weary I was, how the stresses of the day had worn upon me. I had drunk very little wine with my dinner, knowing that I must stay awake until Tobyn arrived, and yet I still felt my eyelids beginning to droop, the dark blurriness of sleep encroaching at the edges of my vision.
No, I told myself. You must not fall asleep. He will be here. He will.
And then I was gone.
* * *
A gentle touch on my hand, a brush of lips against my cheek. I sat upright with a gasp, then relaxed sli
ghtly when I saw Tobyn’s familiar hooded form sitting in the chair next to my bed.
“You are very beautiful when you sleep,” he whispered.
“You found me.”
He nodded. “As I’ve said before, news travels quickly. The story of your betrothal to the king was all over the town like wildfire. After that, it wasn’t so very difficult to discover where you’d been brought.” Reaching out, he wrapped gloved fingers around my hand nearest him where it rested on the coverlet. “Annora, how do you fare?”
“How do I fare?” I shook my head. “Better now that you are here, but still I cannot help but think that I have fallen into some terrible nightmare, one from which I cannot awake.”
“It is a nightmare.” His fingers tightened on mine. “I never thought the king would push matters so far.”
“Well, now that he has, is there anything we can do about it?”
For a long moment, Tobyn said nothing. Indeed, he hesitated so long that I feared he was about to tell me we could do nothing, that I must resign myself to my fate.
But then he spoke, saying, “I am trying to decide what the safest course of action might be. For of course we can do nothing openly. And I have tried — I have attempted to see if I can somehow increase the strength of the spell I use to travel from place to place in an instant, to see if I could manage to bring you with me. As an experiment, I tried to see if it would work while I was carrying my neighbor’s dog.”
Despite everything, I had to smother a laugh at that revelation. “And the dog cooperated?”
“Of course, for I had a fine ham bone as a bribe. But it did not work — the spell, that is. While holding the dog, I could do nothing more than simply stand there. As soon as I put the dog down, I was able to travel from my workshop to the attic two stories up. And as many times as I tried, that outcome never changed.”
“Well, then,” I murmured, keeping my voice low, even though I wanted to groan in frustration, “we will have to try something else.”
“And what would that be?” Tobyn replied, voice hushed as well. “I can come and go in this manner, but I cannot spirit you away. Your maids sleep in the room next to yours, and four men stand guard outside your door. And I very much doubt His Majesty will allow you to venture outside the palace until this abomination of a wedding takes place, so there is no stratagem I could attempt to get you away while you were out in public.”
Phrased in such a manner, the situation did seem hopeless. Once again I had that sensation of time ticking away, even as the walls of my suite seemed to close in on me. And somewhere within the palace the king sat like a spider in the center of his web, biding his time until his prey was so tightly wrapped in silk that she could not possibly get away.
My throat tightened, and I swallowed. I could not allow myself to weep. Not now, when I must stay as strong as I could. For if I allowed myself to despair, then I truly would have surrendered to my fate.
“I don’t know what we can do,” I whispered. “But all is not lost. Not yet. The wedding will not take place until the evening of the day after tomorrow. There is still time.”
“Time?” he said bitterly. “Time is rushing away from us, Annora. And I fear I can do nothing to stop it.”
I had no answer. Instead, I pulled him toward me, heard the bed creak as he settled on its edge. Our lips met, despairing, hungry. I clung to him, feeling the strength of his arms as they tightened around me, sensing the heavy pounding of his heart. How I wanted him in that moment! Beyond reason, beyond caring. All I could think of was the weight of his body on mine, the need burning in the very center of my being, a need I could scarcely identify, save that its only fulfillment lay in Tobyn Slade.
But then, with the one rational part of my mind that still remained to me, I heard a soft footstep outside my door, and a questioning voice say, “My lady?”
In an instant, Tobyn was moving away from me. For the barest instant he paused next to the bed, as if still contemplating tearing me from it, even though he knew he could do nothing to take me away from this place. And then he was gone, shadow fading into shadow, gone as if he had never been there at all.
A moment later, the door opened, and I saw Felinda’s head poke in. What she thought, seeing me pressed up against my pillows, face flushed and chest heaving, I had no idea.
As her wide blue eyes met mine in the candlelight, I managed to say, “A nightmare. That is all.”
“Truly, my lady? For I thought — ”
“Thought what?” I said, tone sharp.
“Obviously, it was nothing, my lady, but — ”
“Oh, do spit it out, Felinda,” I broke in. Never had I spoken to a servant in such a way before, but my nerves had been stretched taut as bowstrings.
Her hands knotted in the sleep chemise of heavy linen she wore. Clearly, she had not even paused to draw on a dressing gown. “I thought I heard a man’s voice.”
My heart pounded away even harder, but I made myself say, “You must have been dreaming, Felinda. For you can see that no one is here.”
She glanced around the obviously empty chamber and nodded. “Of course, my lady. It is as you say — it must have been a dream. I am so sorry to have awakened you.”
From the slight tremor in her voice, I could tell she was terrified of being reprimanded, of perhaps being sent away to a different position within the palace, if not dismissed outright. This had to have been a step up for her, to be one of the attendants of the future queen. Voice softening, I said, “It is fine, Felinda. You were only doing your duty. But as you can see, I am safe, and quite alone. You may go back to sleep now.”
“Yes, my lady.” She dropped a curtsey, one that was half-obscured by the door. “Thank you, my lady.”
Then she shut the door, and I let myself fall back against the pillows, a breath of relief escaping my lips.
That had been too close. And as I lay there, Tobyn’s absence like a physical pain, I could not allow myself to think of what would happen after the king had made me his wife.
* * *
The next day passed in much the same fashion as the one before it, my chambers a managed chaos of dressmakers coming and going, of having to stand still while enough garments for any ten ladies were pinned and fitted to me, then taken away to be stitched. How in the world they expected to have any of this done in time, I had no idea, but then I realized the only gown I truly needed come the next day was the wedding dress, and it had already been constructed. They must have worked all night on it, but the dressmakers had already moved on to embroidering the bodice and the sleeves with silver thread and tiny pearls in cream and the softest pink.
Lady Shelenna also came by with the promised jewels from the late Queen Nerissa’s trove. Despite my overall wretchedness, I could not help but be impressed by the riches revealed to me when the duchess had Felinda and Vianna bring out what seemed like uncounted jewels, each one richer than the next. Taking my murmured responses to each piece as assent, the countess decided on a heavy necklace of silver and pink sea pearls, with matching earrings and diadem.
“The king will not be able to take his eyes off you,” she said in delight, once I had clasped the necklace around my throat to determine whether the length would suit.
In response, I could only manage a wan smile. I doubted very much whether the king cared what I looked like, as long as I was safely trapped as his wife and could continue to spin as much gold as he needed. And what on earth would I do if he demanded to watch as I worked? So far I had managed to avoid such a terrible request, but once I was his wife, I did not think I would be able to so easily hide in prevarications and manufactured strictures as to what constituted an optimal environment in which to spin my gold.
“I hope my appearance will please him,” I replied.
“Of course it shall. How could it not? True, the late queen was quite a pretty woman in her youth, or so I was told, but I am sure that you far outshine her.” The duchess paused then, peering at me closely with h
er amber eyes. “Annora, is all well with you?”
“Why, of course. Perhaps I did not sleep as well as I had hoped, but I blame that on sleeping in a strange bed. I am sure tonight I will fare much better.” That was a plausible lie. I had to hope that Lady Shelenna would not see anything else in my shadowed eyes and somewhat wan appearance.
But she did not nod, or tell me, “Of course,” or make any other response that would have set my heart at ease. Instead, she continued to study my face, then said gently, “My dear, there is nothing wrong with feeling…anxious. It is no small thing to marry the king, and of course you are very young and do not know much of the world, do you?”
I shook my head. At the same time, I found myself praying that she would not attempt to give me the sort of talk a mother might deliver to a daughter on the eve of her wedding day. For one thing, Lady Shelenna and I had shared only a very brief acquaintance, and hearing of such matters from her would be bad enough without having to contemplate sharing such intimacies with the king, a man nearly forty years my senior.
Somehow I managed not to shudder at the thought. After drawing in a breath, I said, “All this has been rather overwhelming. But I am ready to do my duty by the king and my country.”
That reply made her smile, and even chuckle slightly. “You are not going off to war, you know. Yes, the king is a good deal older than you, but I never heard that the late queen was disappointed in her marriage, and certainly Lady Ilendra was content with her lot as the king’s mistress, until she realized that he truly did not intend to ever marry her. I think that you will be far happier than you believe.”
Once again I had to repress a shiver. No, I most certainly could not begin to imagine the king as a lover, especially not after I knew what it was like to taste Tobyn’s kisses, to find myself melting in his embrace. However, I could not tell the duchess of such things. I could only hope that she would see any reluctance on my part as maidenly modesty.
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