He’s the worst one of them all.
So here we go, dear diary… You’ll keep these secrets, won’t you? You better.
I have no one else to tell them to.
Araminta – oh my sweet best friend. If only you knew how close I am to blowing your cover every single day you piss me off with your stupid antics. If only you knew you weren’t all alone in the world after all.
If only you knew Lai was your brother.
That his mother wasn’t a call girl at all, but instead your father’s sister… That your big brother is a product of incest.
And Julian – handsome, wicked Julian. I must be the only one who knows your biggest secret – that your family locked you in the family crypt as a child. How terrified you must have been of the statues, of the graves, of the silent graveyard of all your ancestors. It messed you up so much, you still sleep in the crypt… You’re so broken, Julian. So beautifully broken.
Audra. Stupid, naïve Audra who can only feel the love of the father she never had when she’s with a man twice or three times her age. I know you like them older, Audra. I know all your dirty little secrets.
Then Caspian. Brutal Caspian. Sometimes I wonder how much you know about your past. I’m not sure you know why you’re so cruel, so sadistic. Maybe it’s the fact that your father raped your mother. That you’re the product of a violent, horrible crime your dad committed… Fucking you up from the get-go.
I know this, and so much more.
And I’m willing to use it all against every one of you.
* * *
"Am I interrupting?"
I look up to find Bryony standing in the doorway, her fist poised over the wood as she watches me eagerly. I didn’t even notice her unlocking the door, I was so engrossed in the little book of secrets. Quickly, I stuff the purple diary beneath my pillow, hoping she didn't see it.
"No," I finally manage. "Not at all. Did you need something?"
My heart hammers in my chest in quick, panicked beats. Please, please, please, don't let her notice something's wrong.
"I just wanted to come and see you," Bryony purrs, slipping inside my room. "I haven't spoken with you in a little while and I wanted to know how you were settling in here at the Estate, and in Eden Falls in general."
My brows shoot up and I'm about to remark on the fact that she has never shown much interest in me, so why should she care now? But I bite my tongue, staring at her intently.
There's something different about Bryony today. She seems... loopy. Kind of out of it. I wonder why I get that feeling. Maybe if I let her stick around for long enough, she'll tell me. It's not like I can just kick her out, anyway - my father would probably find a way to punish me for that, too.
“I was hoping you’d let me brush your hair again,” Bryony adds sheepishly, picking up the brush on my vanity table. “I really miss doing it with Lily Anna. It would mean a lot to me. Please, can I?”
I still recall her painful tugs on my strands from last time, and my lips form a thin line as I stare at her. Does she have an ulterior motive for doing this? I guess I won’t find out if I don’t let her do this.
“Fine,” I finally get out, getting up and walking to the vanity table while my stepmother smiles with glee. “Just don’t tug on my hair too hard.”
She looks giddy with excitement, reminding me of a little kid who’s about to get her favorite toy. I wonder why the change in attitude – usually she seems so nonchalant, as if she doesn’t really care what happens around her.
I sit down, and she begins to brush through my hair, taking extra precautions so she doesn’t tug on my locks when the brush meets a tangle. She’s gentle, almost sweet, a motherly smile playing on her lips as she continues to work through the mess that is my hair.
I decide to take advantage of her change in attitude. Perhaps I can finally get some information out of her now that she’s in such a good mood. Maybe she’ll tell me some of my father’s secrets if I press hard enough.
“So, Bryony,” I speak up in a fake positive voice. “How do you like it here at the Estate?”
“Oh, it’s wonderful,” she replies robotically, an answer that seems to be well-practiced and rehearsed for this very moment. “And Emilian takes such wonderful care of all of us. We really are very lucky.”
I reach up, my fingers softly coming to rest on her hand that’s still brushing through my hair.
“Bryony,” I speak up gently as I feel her fingers tremble beneath mine. “You don’t have to lie to me. You can tell me the truth, you know that, don’t you?”
She hesitates, and after a moment’s pause, I whisper, “I’m not going to tell him. I don’t want to get you in trouble, Bryony.”
With a fake smile, she returns to brushing my hair as if nothing’s happened, but a moment later, she starts speaking to me, her voice soft and lost in thought.
“I like my dolls so much,” she says, confusing me. “Sometimes they’re the only thing that helps me get through the day.”
“What dolls?” I question, narrowing my eyes at her.
I haven’t heard of any dolls.
“Oh, my favorites are the blue ones,” she says with a dreamy smile. “I also have green and red ones… The white ones I don’t take as often. They’re the strongest. I only take those when…”
She meets my gaze in the mirror and snaps out of her reverie, shaking her head as if she hasn’t said anything at all. Color me fucking confused. What the hell is she on about?
“Who gives you the dolls, Bryony?” I ask her, still trying to come to the bottom of her secret.
“Well, Emilian, of course,” she replies with a blissful smile. “He gets them from his doctor… bottles and bottles of them.”
Finally, I’m closer to finding out what these mysterious dolls are. They sound like medicine now. Sleeping pills, perhaps? Or a mixture of all kinds of stuff – uppers, downers, sleepers… anything to shut up my stepmother and prevent her from saying too much, like she’s doing now.
My stomach twists into knots. Fuck. My father is more fucked up than I’d thought. He’s filling my stepmother up with all kinds of meds to keep her mind dulled enough so she’ll overlook his terrible actions. The thought alone makes me uncomfortable. My father… he’s a monster.
“Bryony,” I go on. “I was hoping you’d help me understand something.”
She gives me a blank look in the mirror, which I take as encouragement to keep talking.
“Dexter Booth,” I go on, his name heavy on my tongue. “My fiancé. I wanted to know why my father wants me to marry him specifically. Why he’s so desperate for an heir?”
“Oh, I wouldn’t know anything about that.” Bryony laughs. “Emilian doesn’t involve me in his business matters… I’m much too pretty for that.”
She giggles, but there’s a bitterness to her voice when she says it, as if it’s a well-practiced statement my father has taught her to say at these occasions. Still, I believe her – he wouldn’t tell her the details of his business. She gossips like it’s nobody’s business, it would be a recipe for disaster if my father’s secrets got out this way.
I have a back-up plan though.
“What about my mother?” I ask next, trying to ignore the note of desperation in my own voice. “Do you know anything about her, Bryony?”
“Your mother?” she repeats, glaring at me in the mirror with her eyes glazing over. “I’m your mother now, Lily Anna.”
“Pandora,” I remind her.
“Lily Anna,” she insists, beginning to tug on my hair painfully yet again.
I wince at the pain but remind myself I need to get as much information as possible out of her. I can’t give up now, not before I find out more. We’re so close to a revelation, so close to learning more about my family’s secrets… I can’t back down now.
“He never loved her,” Bryony spits out, making my brows shoot up in surprise. “Your father, he never loved that woman. He loved me from the very beginning.”
/> She smiles proudly at this, as if it’s some kind of achievement. I don’t want to burst her bubble, so I keep up pretenses, carefully navigating the topic around the questions I desperately want answers to.
“Was he cheating on her with you?” I ask, almost afraid of her response.
But Bryony doesn’t falter, nodding right away as she continues to brush through my now silky hair. “Of course he was. He was sleeping with me when she was pregnant… he didn’t give a shit then, or now.”
Her voice has turned bitter, which makes me wonder whether she knows about my father’s secret meetings with Minnie. I have no doubts he has other women in the city, women he sleeps with without my stepmother’s knowledge. Or perhaps I was wrong all along – maybe she knew about them from the start, but kept her eyes firmly shut and her mouth, too. As long as she doesn’t make a scene, she can keep living her comfortable life, pretending to be none the wiser. She has too much to lose, after all.
“Of course, she left the moment she found out about me,” Bryony sighs. “She wasn’t like me at all, your mother. She was braver. Sometimes, I actually envy her.”
She meets my gaze in the mirror, and I watch her come to her senses, visibly growing paler when she realizes everything she just told me.
“You won’t tell him, will you?” She rushes to get the words out, stuttering. “Please, Lily Anna.”
“Pandora,” I correct her again, taking the silver, intricately designed brush out of her hands and placing it on the vanity table. “No, Bryony, I won’t tell him. We’re allowed to have secrets too, you know.”
“Oh, how exciting.”
She offers me a shy smile that twists my stomach with guilt. I’m guessing she doesn’t really get the chance to bond with her son or daughter, since I’m the only one who gives her the time of day. It makes me sad. She could have had a beautiful family if my father hadn’t swooped in and ruined everything for all of us.
“And you’ll keep my secrets too, right?” I ask her.
Not that she knows any, but I can cover my bases for later if she ever finds out something.
“Of course,” she replies in earnest. “Anything for you… daughter.”
I wince at the word but smile the next second. I’m willing to play this charade… as long as she remembers her role in our little game.
After all, us girls need to stick together.
Otherwise, the men of Eden Falls will trample us.
Six
Dexter
“What the fuck do you mean Brantley’s back?”
I can feel the vein on my forehead jutting out, throbbing as my blood boils underneath the surface. Goddamn, Easton wasn’t supposed to come back for another few months. And with me staying home for the time being, the timing couldn’t be worse.
“It is what it is,” Lai shrugs, rubbing a fingertip on the mantel above the fireplace and squinting at the trace of dust on his fingers. “Seriously man, you’re letting go of this place. When are you going to hire some proper help? And where is Anders, anyway?”
I grit my teeth, my patience wearing thin as I glare at my friend, muttering, “I don’t recall asking for your opinion, Lai. Besides, seems like you’re forgetting who’s in charge around these parts, and that pisses me the hell off. You need a fucking reminder?”
He pales and shakes his head, his jaw set defiantly.
“Good,” I growl. “Now tell me everything that’s happened while I’ve been gone.”
Lai launches into an explanation. Every fiber of my body is on edge as I listen to him recount what happened at school – the scuffle with Pandora and goddamn Brantley swooping in like some grand savior, when he’s anything but. Of course, Pandora has no clue about that yet, but she’ll learn soon enough.
“So, he’s just pretending like he’s in charge,” I bite out. “I should have known the moment I leave someone would try to take my place. Did you guys remind him where he stands in the hierarchy?”
“He didn’t even acknowledge us,” Lai utters, obviously angry himself. “When are you coming back, man? We can’t hold down the fort without you, especially with Easton goddamn Brantley coming out of the woodwork to undermine you.”
“I can’t come back yet,” I grit out.
My worst fears have come true – Anders is out with an infection and will be staying at the hospital at least another week. He’s also threatened to quit multiple times despite me throwing numbers in his face – numbers that would pay for a household of staff, and numbers he refused to acknowledge. Of course, I could hire someone else, but I don’t trust anyone to keep my secrets. News travels fast in Eden Falls, and the last thing I need is Emilian Oakes finding out that Lilly Ana is alive and my captive.
Especially one he’s eager to get his hands on himself.
“Fuck,” I mutter, rubbing the bridge of my nose. “I can’t come back for a while, it seems. Can you keep an eye on the toy for me?”
“Gladly,” he smirks, sending another wave of rage through my body.
I advance on him, wrapping my hand around his throat and backing him up against the wall. He attempts to claw at my hands but seems to recall his place just in time. I watch his handsome face redden as I spit out a warning.
“You know she isn’t yours. I don’t want you fucking her. You can play… but leave that cherry for me to pop.”
“What a-about after,” Lai stutters through my firm grip. “You gonna let us take her for a test ride after you’ve popped it?”
He still doesn’t know I’ve already fucked Pandora, not that I’m going to tell him anytime soon. He would take it as an open invitation to fuck her, touch her and attempt to own her. And there’s no goddamn way I’m letting that happen.
A shrill scream interrupts the scene, and I let Lai’s throat slip between my fingers, sputtering as he attempts to catch his breath.
“What the fuck was that?” Lai questions, his gaze going up.
“Nothing,” I mutter.
Goddamn, she must have gotten out of the room somehow. There’s no other way we would’ve been able to hear her otherwise – those walls are sound-fucking-proof.
“You need to get the hell out of here,” I bark at Lai, grabbing the collar of his school blazer. “Right the fuck now, I need you to get the hell out of here. I can’t deal with any of this right now.”
“What?” He furrows his brows. “Now you’re kicking me out?”
I walk him to the front door and toss his ass on the driveway.
“Tell the others to keep an eye on my toy,” I hiss at him. “Do not forget your fucking place. Pandora is mine, and mine alone. I don’t want anyone else getting their grubby hands on her – especially fucking Easton.”
“Got it,” Lai rolls his eyes. “Hey, thanks for the warm welcome, you-”
I don’t wait for him to finish, instead slamming the front door in his face. I don’t have a moment to catch my breath – the next second, a body slams into me from behind, full-force.
I don’t go down easy, and she falls on top of me in a heap of flying hair, skinny limbs and muffled shrieks. I overpower Lily Anna easily, grabbing her with both arms and holding her down until I hear Lai’s car pulling out of my driveway.
Next thing I know, she’s digging her sharp little teeth into my fist and I curse out loud when she draws blood.
“How the fuck did you get out of there?” I hiss at her, throwing her flailing body over my shoulder.
“You’re getting reckless, Dex,” she spits out. “Was that Lai? Let me speak to him. I want to speak to him right the fuck now!”
“Dream on,” I grit out, carrying her up the stairs and back into her prison.
She never stops fighting me, not for one minute, but her little body is helpless against my strong, powerful one. Despite knowing this, she does her best to overpower me and get free but fails every time.
I put her on the mattress in her room and stand in front of the door with my arms crossed.
“You need that butler
, don’t you Dex?” she laughs cruelly from her makeshift bed. “You left the door unlocked when Lai rang the bell, you fool. It will only take one mistake like that for me to run away. You know that, don’t you?”
“You already got that mistake, and you didn’t fucking use it,” I spit back. “Now be a good girl and shut the fuck up.”
Her pretty face flashes with a hint of pain, and I hate myself for putting the girl I love in this position. She doesn’t deserve this – nobody does. And it hurts that she’s lucid for once, her eyes clear as they lock with mine, her gaze full of hatred for me that I put there – all my goddamn fault.
I slam the door behind me. I take extra care to do all the locks up. Not a sound comes through the door. My captive is finally safe. I remind myself I’m doing all of this for her, then leave her in there. I don’t have to go back for another few hours. I spent all morning with her, and it seems to have done no good to her at all. She’s only angrier than she was before, filled with rage and contempt for me when I’m only trying to help her. A part of me wants to fill her with the pills Emilian Oakes made her take, but I don’t want to put her through that again.
On an impulse, I decide to check on my toy to distract myself from the shitshow that is my life. I walk into my study, clicking the computer to life. I bring up the camera feed from Pandora’s room, and the screen crackles to life. The camera is yet to be discovered, and I have an unobstructed view of Pandora lying on her bed, staring up at the ceiling.
Without stopping to think about what I’m doing, I reach for my phone, sending off a quick text to the girl in question. I look back at the screen, hungrily watching her make a grab for the phone the second it pings with an incoming text.
Had a fun time at Prep today, little toy?
Her brows furrow, then she bites her full bottom lip. Little fingers with that ridiculous manicure tap at the screen. She keeps deleting, then adding more text. Finally, my phone sounds off as her reply comes through.
Fuck you, Dexter! Where the hell were you?
Busy. Believe it or not, my life doesn’t revolve around you. I have other things to attend to.
A Hurt So Sweet Volume Two: A Dark High School Bully Romance Page 5