by Gaelen Foley
Frozen, terrified desperation.
She knew?
“Emily?” he asked softly, taking a step toward her.
“Stop. Please, stop right there and don’t come any closer,” she forced out, holding a hand up as if to ward him off. “I need to know the truth.”
Tears rushed into her eyes.
“I’ve been in this room for days trying to hold on to my faith that you’re not a traitor. That you’re still you. That you’d never let them hurt me. I so want to believe that,” she whispered in a voice that shook, “but you did take their mark on your chest. You said the Prometheans understood pain. And it dawned on me that every time I’ve asked you if you were really with them, you never once denied it.”
He stared at her, the blood draining from his face. His body went ice-cold.
“The other morning, I was bringing a poultice down to the Hall of Arms—for that man you hurt in practice,” she continued. “I heard voices. Followed the sound. Drake, I overheard the whole thing. I know what they’re planning to do to me. And I heard you agree to it.”
Then she broke down crying.
He crossed the room to her in three swift strides and pulled her into his arms, distraught with guilt for every lie he’d told. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he whispered over and over in her ear, stroking her hair, holding her up as she wept against his chest.
The terror and grief that came pouring out of her slim, shaking body melted such a thick, hardened layer of ice within him that he felt the sting of tears threatening behind his own eyes, as well. “I’ll never let them hurt you. I’m still me, Emily. Please forgive me for this deception. I didn’t dare tell you the truth. I didn’t think you’d be able to lie to them.”
She breathed his name amid her tears and wrapped her arms around his waist, sobbing with an exhaustion that he knew came from the depths of her heart. She had fought so hard for him in her way. She had come so far.
Only to wonder if he had betrayed her.
But he never would. If only he had known she was suffering! He had had no idea that she had overheard the other day’s confrontation.
His conscience burned for putting her through so much pain.
It was time to make everything right. He shook his head slightly to himself as he held her in fierce tenderness. “Your first guess was right from the beginning,” he breathed in her ear, knowing they must hide this conversation from the guards outside her door. “I know who I am, I got my memory back, and I came here for revenge. I mean to kill them all. And I know now how I’m going to do it, too,” he whispered. “I’ve figured out a way.”
Lifting her tear-stained face from his chest, she met his gaze with startled innocence in her reddened eyes.
He cupped her damp cheeks between his hands and with his thumb, brushed away the next tear that fell. “I didn’t want you to come here,” he reproached her in the gentlest of tones. “Perhaps I panicked. But there was no way that I could have told you the truth. I lied to try to keep you out of it. But I never meant to scare you, my darling. Back in England, you helped me more than you know. You gave me back my strength to continue the fight. I’m the only one who can now. The Order hasn’t had a chance like this in centuries. No one has ever infiltrated the cult at this level, but the bond I’ve developed with Falkirk gave me the chance. I didn’t want to go. I wanted to stay with you, but I had no choice. That’s why I’m here. To do what needs to be done. But never doubt I’m on your side, my dearest Emily, and I always will be.”
“Oh, Drake.” She stared at him in tender loyalty.
He shook his head, comforted as always by her softness. “They had me cornered in that chamber. I had to say what they wanted to hear or they’d have shot me where I stood. I’m a former agent of the Order,” he reminded her. “I’ve had to go above and beyond to make them believe they really succeeded in turning me. If they suspected it’s a ruse or that I have regained my memory, they would force me to tell them everything I know. They’d torture me again to get it out of me, and this time, I know I’d break. Emily, I can’t go through that again. I’m sorry if that makes me weak, but you have no idea . . .”
“It doesn’t make you weak. I will not let them hurt you, either!” she whispered.
A pensive smile curved his lips at her protectiveness. “Well, that is why I couldn’t tell you what was really going on. You are hardly the world’s best liar, my dear. I feared you might give me away—unintentionally, of course—and then they’d kill us both. I’m doing all I know to keep us alive.”
“Oh, Drake.” She hugged him. “I knew it couldn’t be true. I knew you’d never let them hurt me. You almost had me fooled, but I understand now why you had to lie. I won’t give you away,” she added, glancing up again to stare soberly into his eyes.
He was glad to see she had regained her composure. And then he noticed that he, too, suddenly felt a great weight lifted off him just by telling her the truth.
It felt wonderful to touch her and drink her in with his gaze. The fifteen minutes they’d been granted were moving much too fast.
When she reached up and caressed his cheek with an expression full of thoughtful care, he savored her soft touch. “I hate being separated from you,” she whispered.
“I hate it, too.”
“Wouldn’t they let you come sooner?”
He shook his head. “They don’t trust the two of us together. If I had known you were aware of their twisted plans, I would have found a way. You must have been terrified all this time, and here I thought you were all right.”
“And I thought you were staying away because you were angry at me about the other night. I have to apologize, Drake. I shouldn’t have tried to manipulate you,” she whispered.
He shook his head. “It’s all right.”
“No, it was wrong of me to try to do that. I didn’t realize till afterward how much you probably needed at least one person who wasn’t trying to play games with your head.”
“You were only trying to help me.”
“I thought if I could persuade you with my kisses, then we could leave, just escape, the two of us—”
“Emily-girl, you could persuade the sun to fall out of the sky with those kisses,” he told her, and smiled fondly as she blushed. “Not bad for a neophyte.”
“Well, at least they were sincere.”
“Mmm,” he said.
“But I see now you can’t leave,” she continued, getting back to business, though her violet eyes shone with the same hungry attraction he was feeling at the reminder of that night on the balcony. “After what I overheard, I know why you need to stay here and defeat them. They are truly evil.”
He nodded in full agreement.
“Now that I understand,” she said sternly, “you have to let me help you. Don’t argue with me,” she added as she clutched the lapels of his jacket with both dainty hands.
She gazed up at him in earnest determination. “You will stop shutting me out. The time has come for us to work together. No more secrets, no more lies. You can’t do this alone. There are too many of them for one man to handle—even you.”
He gave her a rueful smile, taking her adorable insistence on helping him only halfheartedly. “You help me more than you know just by being here.”
“I can contribute more than that, if you’d stop shielding me. Just tell me what to do!”
Regarding her with a skeptical eye, even though he frankly adored the chit, he began to wonder if she was right. Perhaps there was some assistance she could provide. True, he was accustomed to having battle-hardened warriors as allies, but God love her, this little slip of a girl had the heart of a she-wolf. She was going to have to do.
Besides, Drake saw that it would be cruel of him to continue insisting that she simply sit alone in her room and do nothing, just trust him. Anyone would go mad, knowing she was slated for a gruesome death, and being forbidden to do anything to try to save herself.
That was too much to ask, he con
ceded. He’d already put her through enough by lying to her. All she wanted was to help. She was a capable person, loyal and smart. Hell, back in their childhood days, she had beaten him at many a contest though he would deny it till the day he died.
“Very well. I can’t think of anything at this very moment, but let me give it some thought, and as soon as I come up with something, I’ll let you know.”
“You promise?”
“Yes,” he answered firmly.
“You’d better not forget about me,” she warned.
He scoffed. “What man in his right mind could?”
“Yes, but this is you we’re talking about, my dear lunatic.”
“Right,” he murmured, as they both began to laugh quietly. “Come here, you, cheeky.” He pulled her into his arms and hugged her, still chuckling.
As Emily hugged him back, he couldn’t remember the last time anyone had made him laugh.
“God bless you,” he whispered, grateful to his very soul for the much-needed moment of levity. He gave her a kiss on the forehead. “I continue to doubt that there’s a man worthy of you on this planet, you know.”
“Well, there’s one,” she confided, then she pulled him down and kissed him.
Drake returned her kiss, pulling her into his arms. In the moment, as her satin lips caressed his with captivating warmth, he thrilled to her affection; at the same time, in the back of his mind, it dawned on him that she was an utterly amazing human being.
He couldn’t believe she had followed him.
He couldn’t believe anyone would ever love him so much. Throughout his life, people—usually other Order agents—had expressed being in awe of him, but now it was his turn. He was in awe of her, and it was his turn to feel humbled.
Emily ended their kiss, pulling back with a serene smile and a dreamy glow in her eyes. He could do nothing but stare breathlessly at her, feeling as though he were seeing her for the first time.
“Are you inspired yet with some way I can help?” she murmured.
A sudden, soft laugh escaped him. She was persistent, to be sure. “That helped tremendously. Perhaps another?”
“Drake,” she chided.
He shook off the daze of pleasure she had left him in and ruefully brought himself back to the task at hand. “My main concern is that you’re going to have to lie like you’ve never lied in your life. You can’t let them see you’re afraid or that you know what they have planned. Just play the oblivious female. That will help us avoid complications.”
She eyed him dubiously. “Like those girls your mother wanted you to marry?”
He flashed an unexpected smile. “Exactly.”
“How much time do we have before this ritual?”
“Ten days.”
She winced. “Well, at least, it’ll be over soon.”
“It might not hurt if you could try to befriend your guards a bit in the meanwhile.”
She nodded. “Good idea. I can see how that could be useful. I shall soon have them eating out of my hand!” she murmured with a crafty smile.
“Well, you don’t have to go and make me jealous,” he retorted playfully. “Honestly, though, do not be too obvious, or they’ll wonder what you’re up to. Just a sprinkle of your eccentric charm will go a long way, believe me.”
She propped her fists on her waist. “Eccentric?”
“Hmm? What? I didn’t hear anything.”
Her response was a playful tap on his chest, the lightest of smacks. “At least I’m not a lunatic.”
“I’m beginning to think you are,” he whispered with a smile. Then he glanced at his fob watch. “They’re going to order me out of here in a moment or two. Are you going to be all right?”
“I will, now. But first, there’s something you should know.” She glanced past him, keeping her voice down. “I didn’t want to tell you this before, because I wasn’t sure if you were one of them or not, but I wrote to your friend, Lord Rotherstone, from Munich, after I had followed you to the castle. I told him where you were.”
“Did you?” he asked in surprise.
She nodded. “If they got the message, I should think they’re likely on their way by now.”
Drake absorbed this news with mixed emotions.
“That could be good for us, couldn’t it?” she urged. “We could use more help.”
“As long as they don’t get caught, yes,” he murmured. “But you do realize they have orders to kill me. Why would you tell them where I was?”
She gave an innocent shrug. “I was afraid when I finally caught up to you, I might find out I had got in over my head.”
He gave her a wry look. “I am shocked to hear you admit such a thing is possible.”
“Look who’s talking.” She chucked him lightly under the chin while her eyes sparkled with a sly twinkle. “You’re the one who thinks he’s indestructible.”
He shrugged.
“Well, it’s hard to say this, Drake, but if you had betrayed everything you once believed in, I realized . . . you were going to have to be stopped. And I knew I wouldn’t be able to do it.” She shook her head.
“You’d have been willing to have me killed for the sake of the Order?”
“I’m sorry. Is that wrong?” she whispered. “You believed in it all your life. I couldn’t let you—”
He stopped her with another kiss. “Virgil should have recruited both of us,” he answered very softly. “I can’t think of anything finer or more noble that you could say to me.”
She searched his eyes. “I prayed it wouldn’t come to that.”
“And it won’t,” he promised. “Thank you.”
She stroked his hair, soothing tensions in him that he had barely noticed collecting. “We’ll just have to figure out some way to let them know once they get here that you are still one of them.”
He nodded wryly. “In the meanwhile, you should forget that I am. As far as you know, I’m a nasty Promethean convert, remember?”
“Right,” she murmured, smiling at his warning. “Got it.”
“Good.” He took both her hands in his. It seemed so natural to be open with her that he could not imagine now why it had been so desperately important to him at first to shut her out. “We’re going to make it through this, all right? I won’t let you down.”
“I know you won’t, Drake. You never have.”
“I think I have,” he said wistfully. “I should have married you a long time ago.”
She fell silent, holding his gaze.
The guards banged on the door at that moment, calling to him that the fifteen minutes was over. Drake glanced angrily over his shoulder, then looked at Emily again.
“I’ll find a way for us to talk again soon,” he murmured. “I’ll speak to James, too, about letting you go outside. It’s ridiculous for you to be locked up in here every day. You’re not going to run away.”
“Not as long as you’re here.”
He kissed her cheek. “I’ll see what I can do. Are you going to be all right?”
She gave a firm nod, though she still held on to his hand. “Feeling braver already.”
He smiled, mystified. “You really are a miracle, Emily.”
“The miracle will be when we both get out of here safely. Promise me you’ll be careful.” She still wouldn’t let go of his hand. “I know you’re in pain, Drake, and that you don’t really believe you’ll ever be all right again, but once we’ve dealt with them, then we can be together, and I promise you, with all my heart, I’ll help you find your way back to the sunlight. You will be whole and happy again, as you once were. You will find healing, all right? So, don’t give up. You just need time and tender loving care, and I’ll be with you every step of the way to make sure you get both.”
He stared at her, wanting to believe, despite the edge of uneasiness her tender words aroused. He managed a nod and slid his hand from hers. “I’d better go.”
“Be careful,” she breathed, as he withdrew and walked toward the do
or.
“You, too. Stay strong, girl.”
“I will. And Drake? Thank you for trusting me at last.”
“No, Emily, thank you. For everything. Especially for not losing faith in me,” he answered in a low tone that the guards would not hear.
“I never will.”
He reached for the door handle.
“Um, Drake?”
He paused, glancing back in question.
Emily folded her arms across her chest with an irresistible, teasing smile. “I heard them force you into admitting you love me.”
“Hmm,” he said, rather on guard. “You heard that?”
She nodded, regarding him in amusement.
He looked at her for a long moment. “What makes you think they forced me?”
The joy that broke across her face was like the sun bursting out from behind the cold, formidable mountains.
Her smile beamed: He sent her a wink from the doorway, then he went out and closed the door behind him.
Her guards eyed him with a certain degree of suspicion when he stepped out into the hallway. No doubt they had never seen that expression on his face. How could they? What he felt just then hadn’t been in his heart for two years.
Hope.
Still, he jerked his thumb sternly over his shoulder. “Watch her,” he ordered in a dark tone.
“Yes, sir,” they said, reassured again that he was still the hard bastard they all feared.
But when his back was to them as he walked off down the hallway, he couldn’t chase the daft smile off his face.
France
Rotherstone’s team had reached the thick forests of the Argonne, in the Champagne region of France, and there they made camp for the night. The nearby brook babbled in the darkness; the tethered horses drank and grazed around it, while the low bonfire crackled.
From across the flames, Max regarded his two fellow agents, each of them sitting on his bedroll unfurled on the forest floor. None of them had much to say.
Virgil was haunting all of them these days.