by Nunn, Alexis
“A what?” He rose up from the ground, flaring his paws out with alarm.
“It’s like they become a family. They hunt together or at least eat together. All kinds of them.”
He whined, “Not good.”
We had to return to the town and tell the rest of the group. It was nothing to be eager about. ‘Hey guys, we are surrounded by monsters who will kill us.’
Should be easy for us.
Robert fumed as if it was my fault we had a swarm surrounding us. He refused to listen to me, “We have to kill them all. Eradicate them.”
Fadiyah was just vigorously shaking her head with eyes closed at the stupidity of that idea. I tilted my head around the side of Robert’s face, pulling a corner of my lips up, eyebrows dipping down. She peaked open an eye, shrugging at me. I shrugged back, not noticed that Robert was still talking.
He knocked his knuckles across my prominent collar. His lip pouted out, “Don’t you dare shrug at me! I always knew women taller than me were just arrogant.”
He crossed his arms, giving me a final dark and spiteful glance before leaving to his bedroom. I lifted my palms up, about to shout a confused question at him before Fadiyah shook her head warning me not to even try it.
“Great to know my height is grounds for hate,” I grumbled.
“He’s almost fifty. He’s part of the last dangerously sexist generation. Just ignore him. He’s dominated by girls here and he hates it,” She stood up from her seat on the couch. Lightly, she adjusted her headscarf and straightened the fabric over her shoulders. Something about the article intrigued me, but I couldn’t tell why. I pondered over it quickly before walking out of the door with her.
The sky was neat, all the clouds tightly packed away off in another place. Fadiyah kept her hands close to her body but I let mine swing out and back with each step. She was much more refined while I was just out there. I put a wider distance between us due to our different walking styles. I was afraid to hit her with my free-swinging arms.
Out by the bonfire we set up daily, we placed out logs to rest on. I found a smooth place to sit and propped my legs up with me. Fadiyah sat on the second log to my right side.
Flames danced up and were licked by the soft gusts of wind. Heat passed out to us comfortably. At that second, I swore I’d lull to sleep from the crackle of the fire. Falling over, asleep, would land myself in the flames. That would not be a great outcome.
Feliks appeared from around our house, his ears as far forward as possible. Clearly on the search of something, he poked his head into building and alleys, sniffing. He left our house several times, even circling around Robert’s. I went from tiredly staring beside a fire, to watching my brother scouting around our little town. Fadiyah stood up, squinting.
She turned around, making a quick observation, “Oh.”
She took off into her house. I got up on my feet, starting to feel fear crawl up in my body. Feliks was looking for something, as now was my friend. Robert was in his house. Now where would that leave our youngest friend?
Lilya! Where was Lilya! Fuck, we lost a child. We lost a child. Great job. I ran out to the end of the isle of houses, turning to look in the trees. Nothing was disturbed, so she couldn’t be there. I circled around the settlement, trying to find her. Feliks came running from the other side, dashing past me without stopping. I weaved through the spaces between each house (there were only six buildings). The last building on the end was the store. I spied around it, but saw Robert leave it. He locked eyes on me and came barreling at me.
“You let her get lost!” He bellowed at me. My hands curled up on my chest.
“No, I didn’t. This isn’t my fault…” I spaced out my feet, in a fleeing position. Fadiyah came into my view, seeing us then scurrying away. I sighed, changing my stance to cross my arms.
“It’s everyone’s fault. Now find her,” He commanded to me. I huffed and left to go back to searching.
Robert went back in the direction of his house, either to give up or look back through each room. I went in the direction of the bonfire, noticing the bright glow’s contrast to the darkening sky. Soon it’d be too late in the evening to stay out. Especially with the threat of the werebies nesting close to us, it’d be too dangerous to be out. Werebies were notorious for being primarily nocturnal. The night was when the light didn’t hurt their eyes.
Feliks came sprinting past me. He turned on his feet to the store, his nose close to the ground. Suddenly he halted, brought his face up and pointed to the back of the building. He neared the rear cellar, which no one had even thought of to look in. I followed him up to that point. He was sniffing all around the door handles, so I opened up it for him.
Deep down in the cellar, I could see nothing. That was until something started to come up the stairs and out into the light. Feliks smelled Lilya, sure we found her. We did. Lilya looked up at us with innocence, not aware of the panic we were just in. She grinned at us and got out of the cellar. I closed the door, totally relieved.
She started to skip away, but I stopped her, “Why were you down there?” I asked.
“Curious?” Her only answer summed it all up. Feliks looked back, reminding us of how close we were to the forest. I kept a hold of her arm and marched her into her house.
“You could have been attacked by werebies! You know that?” I whispered angrily to her. She pouted and whispered back a quiet sorry.
With a discontented frown, I presented the child to Robert. I let her go and she tried to escape to her room. Robert told us to leave, indignant and turned away. I stepped behind the door to leave, Feliks behind me. Robert paused just long enough to kick the door shut. It close on the tip of Feliks’s tail. Instead of going and reopening the door, I heard it lock. At that moment, Feliks lost the tip of his tail. The long fur hid it as he walked with jolts and hyperventilated. A drop or two of blood landed on the ground, but beside that nothing happened. I knew it wouldn’t heal, only dry out and stiffen up. I swooped under him, pitying him, and picked him up. He rested his jaw over my shoulder, teary-eyed. He calmed down and we went back to our house.
In our home, I put Feliks down on the couch. He didn’t bother even getting up, not even looking over at me before I left to get ready for bed. The poor thing found Lilya. He exerted the most effort of all of us. After all of that, he received no recognition. I glanced back to the couch, seeing Feliks hadn’t moved from it. I blinked, feeling guilt in my chest. I carried on to the bathroom, drawing me a bath. The water rose up the side of the pink porcelain tub. I’d thank him when I got out, though that wouldn’t matter. He deserved it from Robert Schocke. Not me. I was his sister, and we were in no relation to the Schockes. He wouldn’t get it either. Robert would consider no werebie, no matter how transitioned, a hero.
My brother was a hero, but never was heralded for it. In my bath, I sank under the water, letting it dip past my lips, sad in that instant. I was a horrible sister, wasn’t I? Almost horrible enough to dare to let myself drift to sleep and fall forever still under the smoothened ripples.
THIRTEEN
Our scouting mission had been a silent hell. No one spoke to each other. Robert even dared at times to leave me, toting only his backpack with him. He always returned quickly, always smug and full of a wavering type of hatred. The hatred that flared between I despise you and I’m better than you. I just kept to myself, keeping track of our whereabouts and observations.
No werebies today, gladly. We returned to our town in that dreadful chilly quietness. Robert was the first to depart, whisking himself away, his backpack slung up over his left shoulder. I stood still for a second, brushing my hand through my hair before leaving for my own home.
For the past two days, the odd frozen sadness that curled up in my chest and pulling strings for my arms to move returned. Once severe in my freshman year, I became familiar with it. My mother sent me off to a doctor who insisted it was only teenage angst and told me I was fine. I was fine. I survived until we were alone
out in the wilderness. It’d flare up, drain me of my will and drop me to the ground like a pathetic broken toy. Then it would run away, letting me slowly revive back to my happiness. Not that it ever really completely left me, but any significant decrease in the chill was a time to rejoice. Yet, of course it was back.
I deserved it this time. After letting my brother’s glory in ‘rescuing’ Lilya dissipate into a small thought, I couldn’t deny I didn’t deserve this. I had to cease the madness and just go with it, as I always had. This time the feeling was just an afterthought, almost a ghost.
I stared dully at the ground. Each step brought me closer to my house, soon my bedroom.
Feliks was outside, running circles around Lilya whom tried to catch him each time. Her arms reached out and her hands grasped onto a strand or two of fur that just slipped out of her fist. He jumped far off to her other side, pouncing stealthily to keep her on her own feet. Although it seemed to be frustrating, both were clearly enjoying it. I smiled a sliver, then entered my home. I tossed my baggy corduroy jacket off to the side. It turned inside out, plaid lining boldly showing, and slid over onto the floor. I stared at it for a second before choosing to ignore it and go on to the kitchen.
I swung open the fridge door, casting a glance around until I grabbed a bottle of orange juice. I let the door shut on itself after releasing it. I heard it whoosh closed after walking through our living room. I went off into the bedroom. I set down the bottle and plugged in my music player on my dresser. It let out a static-like hiss, so I turned down the dial. My records were untouched, too lazy to bother even picking up the record player’s arm. I chose a rock cassette and slid it into the gaping, mouth-like slot. I pushed it shut and clicked on the play button.
I took a few fast steps before throwing myself down onto my bed. Instead of actually landing, I rebounded up and slammed my skull into the dark navy walls. I whined loudly and let my bones settle before repositioning myself to be comfortable. News flash, comfortable was not achievable with a budding headache. I clenched my cheeks and tightened my jaw, wanting to scream and wail, but that flame smothered itself before I did anything. I left myself there, staring up at the beige ceiling, tears starting to coat my eyes. I listened to a guitar echo and a man sing about not backing down while I was wishing the house would collapse on me.
I closed my eyes, let my mind calm down, and then focused on the soothing voice wafting from my stereo. I found it a comfort but my head found it irritating.
Unaware to me, a person stood in the doorway of my room. The girl clasped her hands together, a sad look graced her face. She watched me in what I thought was a private moment. I had thrown my arms out like a scarecrow, my shirt laying almost flat across my chest. The cassette neared the halfway mark when the girl took a step closer. I heard nothing but the song as she moved carefully over to my desk. She kept a wide eye on me while she pulled the chair out and took her place in it.
She stayed like that, studying me. She saw the way my face contorted with this particular emotion, the mannerism in which I placed my body. All of this she just took in, quiet. I rolled on my side, turning my back towards her. I laid there trying to will myself to sleep. The cassette whined to the end. It clicked continuously, the ever-growing threat of the tape breaking off from the spindle. I opened my eyes with a groan. I thumped my boot on the wall, angrily sitting up. I stared icily at the clicking tape.
I stomped down onto the floor. Fadiyah drew up an eyebrow, then relaxed in her chair. As I stood up, she spoke.
“You gotta be so violent?”
I screamed, high pitched and flung out my hands. Jumping, I knocked myself off my feet and cascaded down. My rump throbbed from the pain of meeting oak flooring. Shivers crawled down my back because the initial shock had yet to settle down. My heart swung to and fro; I could feel it beat into my ribs. I whooped, awkwardly trying to calm but I could only feel a nagging anger.
“You don’t just wander into someone’s room! And scare them! No! Thing you don’t do!” I inhaled sharply, standing up. I waved my hands out at her with a frown, “That!”
She gave me that nonchalant grin, “Sorry, Lee. You left your door open.”
I hugged my arms into my chest, a deepened red bled out into my cheeks. I pinched the inside of my cheek in my teeth, “You can’t just ‘sorry, Lee’ me. Not fair!”
She burst out laughing at me; the tone seemed to be calming in contrast to the expected nerve-irritating laugh. I let my tension cool down with a sigh. The cassette was quickly stopped before I resumed back to Fadiyah.
She spun around in the chair, now not paying attention. Pausing every so often, she’d throw her head back and look at me. I licked over my teeth, mad once again, “Really? Really? Attention span shorter than Lilya’s today or what?”
I sat back on my bed. Her chair stopped spinning, leaving her off center, almost completely facing me. Fadiyah twitched her lips, then shrugged, finally getting up. She went over to my bed to join me. We sat together, her body uneasily close to me, but I felt no need to disengage her. It was something I could accept without complaint. She clearly had no objections to being so close to me. I’d never been this close to someone that wasn’t family for longer than a minute. This was new, for a trivial reason as well. It was just a note. It would have been much more significant with a romantic attraction behind. What am I doing? This was all too off topic.
I withdrew from Fadiyah’s side, crawling up on my bed again and stretching myself out on the soft comforter. She stayed where she was, only turning her body to be towards me. The bed, rocking from the back of her heels knocking into the bed-frame, was only large enough for myself, and a medium sized dog. If Fadiyah wanted, she could lay with me, but it’d end up being smothering for one of us. This - without being said - was understood by both parties. So there, we remained in the same spot.
My thoughts distracted me too much. I noticed how Fadiyah was staring at me, scrutinizing me. I quickly blinked, staring back into her dark eyes.
“You yell at me for not paying attention, but you zone out into wild dazes. I feel like you go on tangents in your own head, ignoring everyone else.”
I opened my mouth, taken by surprise, surprisingly. I knew I was habitually guilty of that. A tendency to escape within a rant inside my subconscious was a strong point of mine. Whether or not that was good or bad, I never could break that habit. With our situation, bad… it was bad.
Fadiyah sighed, “I really need to confide in you about something,” I rose up from my place, “My dad is up to something. I know it.”
“I suspected it a while ago-”
“Me too! But it was just his typical hatred for Feliks at first. I caught him sneaking out during the night. Our hunting equipment has moved. The worst part of it is that there used to be poacher’s bear traps in the ware store. Now those are gone. And that backpack? He’s never needed it before when scouting.”
I nodded, “He ran off alone while we were out one day. Just disappearing and not letting me go back in the direction he left into.”
She sparked, “Same! He wanders off on me lately. That’s concerning.”
“So what do you suppose he’s up to?” I queried.
She groaned, “Probably plotting to murder your brother in some horrid way,” Her tone was flat, monotonous, and cynical.
“Yeah…” I remarked, the same emotionless voice.
“Are we being serious right now, because I really can’t tell,” My friend suddenly piped up, her mouth pulled off into a half-hearted curious grin.
“We could be. I wouldn’t put it past him.”
“Me either.”
Feliks gnawed away at a carrot while Fadiyah sat next to me on the couch. Out of curiosity she looked to me, “Can he eat chocolate? ‘Cause I have some.”
“Choc’la’?” Feliks asked, bits of the carrot rolling out of his mouth.
I thought about it, taking a glance from our kitchen back to Feliks. He went back to eating his carrots, stil
l watching me from the corner of his eye.
I decided on the answer, “Nah, let’s not try it.”
Feliks whipped his head down, letting his disappointment show and expressing his classic theatrics.
With a scoff, I ignored him. His pouty attitude and exaggerated actions used to work on me, but after about a decade the effect wore off. This did not mean he stopped trying, that man was set in stone.
We were different in that sense. He was still in the mid-to-early nineties from when he was a young teen while I changed significantly from then to personality to personality. It’s not that I change into a new person, I can go from shy to outgoing to nervous to strong-willed. I’m still me but factors morph. I will forever be a stubborn younger sister trying to play leader but follows anyway.
Fadiyah stretched out, placing her heels on the table. She wore a baggy pair of sweatpants today, contrast to my usual pair of jeans. We both were in contrast to Feliks, well that’s because he had fur. Cheating didn’t count.
The boy whined, “I miss my chocolate. I don’t want carrots.”
“Doggies no eat chocolates. Dat’s bad for dem,” I smirked while I said that, my voice strongly condescending with that volume and enunciation used for preschoolers. Feliks hated that voice. He growled at me.
My stomach bubbled with surprise, a cool buzz rushing up through me. His anger, though not unprovoked, scared me. It was real, not a playful teasing growl for taking away a blanket. The girl next to me, standing up, diffused his anger by clapping her hands. She sighed, momentarily silent before finally speaking.
Feliks listened, “How about we learn something about each other?”
“How bout no?” Feliks answered. I overruled him. I was curious about things after all.
Feliks grumbled, pulling down his ears and getting up. He hopped up next to me on the couch, squeezing between my thin hips and the arm of the couch. I felt his tail smoosh again me, trying to find a place for it. It stopped moving and he hunched over so we were both in his line of view.